Stupid Headline Tricks
Headline from a Clark Spencer story in the Miami Herald: "Marlins can't seem to find their place." Thought they found their place during the first week of the season: last.
And this from a crime brief in the Palm Beach Post: "Quarrel leaves homeless man in critical condition." A quarrel never hurt anybody. The dude was basically bashed in the head and left for dead in an alley. That's no quarrel. That's a g-d attack.
The lead headline this morning on the Herald web site: "DNA lets man walk." Well, duh.
From the Palm Beach Post web site: "See Jewel and Rob Thomas at Mizner Park." Okay, but first please let me stick a rusty ice pick in my eye. Then I'd like to jam the ends of broken bottles into the soles of my feet. What fun.
Get the Things to Do Newsletter
Find out about upcoming events and special offers happening in South Florida.