Tonight, You Are a Munchkin

If you've spent your life wondering if you might ever see a High-Definition screening of The Wizard of Oz at a cineplex, tonight you have you're answer. To honor the 70th anniversary of the film's premiere, Turner Classic Movies is having a nationwide, one night-only showing at movie theatres across the country.

Find a theatre near you here.

We wrote about the event in this week's calendar section, a refined preview discussing the film's historical significance. In honor of Dorothy and the gang discovering the man behind the curtain, The Juice wanted to give you a peek behind our own flimsy bit of fabric (sorry about the smell).

Calendar Editor Mickie Centrone, in all her editorial wisdom, chose to print the item linked above instead of another, more quirky item for the same event. This movie has a special place in the heart of many of the most colorful South Florida characters (who also have a propensity to dress in costume). So, joking that the New Times calendar section often employs, as Mickie puts it, "the You," this item was written from the perspective of a munchkin living in the Land of Oz. (For more quirky prose, not using "the You," see this Best-Of item written from the perspective of the chicken wing.)

After the jump: the alternative calendar item, in which you the reader play the part of a munchkin (sorry). Though you could never be as cool as this munchkin.   

Again, you can thank Mickie Centrone for not seeing this sooner:

You're a munchkin, relaxing, doing your munchkin thing in the middle of Munchkinland, when some chick from Kansas straight up drops a house on the tortuous green bitch who's been messing with you for years. Yeah, you're happy - singing, dancing, having hot celebratory munchkin sex just off camera - but the crazy Kansanian with the dog in a picnic basket seems to be getting frantic, rambling about getting home or something. It's getting awkward. So how do you get this Debbie Downer out of here? There are options: Glenda the Good Witch can sometimes handle these problems, and the Wizard seems like a smart (and loud) fellow, and of course there's the staple advice around these parts--follow that bright fucking road to all the answers. Or you could do some research on the subject. Go see Turner Classic Movies' special one-night only nationwide screening of The Wizard of Oz (it's the 70th anniversary of the film's release) tonight at 7 p.m. You may just walk out of the theatre feeling like a horse of a different color.

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