Top Six South Floridians Who Make Us Proud to Be American on the Fourth of July! (With GIFs)
It's the Fourth of July!
It's a day to BBQ, throw down some cold ones, and enjoy the one day off before having to go back to work and then get the weekend off again.
So what the hell are you doing on the internet?
Oh well. Since we're here, we might as well make the most of it.
And by that, we mean let's count down the top six South Floridians that make us proud to be an American on Independence Day!
Ready and go....
6. Donald Trump and His Stupid Hair!
What's more American than being a complete narcissistic doucher with weird hair and an unnatural pinkish hue?
Probably a lot of things.
Look at ole Trump at a baseball game doing the wave. HE'S AT LEAST MORE AMERICAN THAN STUPID BILL O'REILLY!
And remember, no matter how much he tries to shoehorn his way into relevancy, whether it's by trying to force the president of the United States to prove he's a legit American or pretending ratings for The Apprentice aren't terrible or taking to Twitter to babble like a 15-year-old girl, let us never forget that Donald Trump makes his home in South Florida.
5. Marco Rubio and His Thirsty Face!
He's the Golden Boy senator from this very state who had presidential aspirations but then decided to tackle the immigration issue and is now hated by everyone yay!
And of course, there was that holy crap I'm so thirsty on live national television! incident.
So when you're BBQing today, be sure to have a swig of cold water for good ole Rubes!
4. Aaron Hernandez and His Arrest Face!
Before he was an ex-New England Patriot charged with murder, he was an ex-Florida Gator charged with a lot of other shit, and then eventually murder.
He also gave us the OH. I REALLY AM UNDER ARREST Face, which is as American as it gets, if you ask us.
3. Rick Scott and His Inexplicable Dancing in Front of Schoolchildren
GAH! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
2. The Prancercise Lady and Her Prancercising!
She started a worldwide movement of people trotting around public places like a horse.
And she's from South Florida!
Your move, Ohio.
1. Ray Allen and His Shot!
Because, Game 6.
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYONE!
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