TSA Has Been Ordered to Listen to Your Complaints
It's bad enough that TSA workers have to look at your flabby fat ass through their full-body scanners, but now they're going to have to take a public scolding too.
According to a 90-day court order by the U.S. Court of Appeals of D.C., the Transportation Security Administration will now have to read about people's thoughts and feelings on those scanners via a website.
And it's perfect too because the internet was totally invented by Al Gore for anonymous people to say rude things about other people on websites. Because angry internet comments change everything!
The whole kerfuffle comes from the court ruling that the TSA using those airport scanners to show naked gross people and make sure they don't have a stick of dynamite shoved up their ass before boarding a plane was done without allowing people to say things about it in public. This, according to the ruling, is illegal.
So, for the next 90 days anyway, you are free to go to the website and give the TSA a good talkin' too.
So far the site has 630 comments, with most of the complaints being about people's Fourth Amendment rights being crapped on. The Fourth Amendment guards against unreasonable searches and seizures. Also, it keeps the government from confiscating the fap lube from your suitcase.
Or as one commenter puts it:
Ever since I have realized the TSA has put in place a restriction on liquids, there have been abuses of power that has made me give up flying altogether.
This person was polite enough in his thoughts:
Please discontinue the use of the controversial airport body scanners and abuse of inappropriate pat downs. They are unconstitutional and unwarranted.
This one tries to make a political point while keeping his trollface on, which is exactly what the Internet is all about:
This is un-necessary, and hardly justifiable. This money would be better spend in education, unless you plan on hiring every drop out.
Another commenter doesn't mind being looked at naked because it beats the alternative of being felt up by a TSA agent. This commenter is also a sassy 82-year-old Jewish lady, apparently:
I much prefer body scanning to frisking. I am an 82 year old Jewish woman with an artificial hip. That makes me a prime terrorist suspect according to the TSA. I need to be frisked...
One person is concerned the full-body scanners will eventually turn us into a bunch of Incredible Hulks, like David Banner with gamma rays:
There is absolutely no excuse for using these machines. Thousands of people flew through Seattle in the past two weeks without them. How much radiation are we being subjected to...
And this person uses the right amount of ALL CAPS to express his derision:
These scanners are DANGEROUS and a WASTE of MONEY! Any person who has taken basic science, which if you went to middle school or high school should have, knows that machines like this cause radiation damage to the receiver, hence why you have to wear a lead apron whenever you get an x-ray done. These kinds of machines that have been banned by many other countries for being TOO DANGEROUS have no place in ours!
The good news is we might be done with these body scanners soon anyway.
Until then, you can join in on the futile conversation that we're pretty sure no one from the TSA will read by going here.
Let 'em have it!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.