Worst Love Story Ever, Palm Beach Edition

Worst Love Story Ever, Palm Beach Edition
Flickr user: Bouffant Headbutt

Normally, I try not to make fun of people in love. Even cynical, egotistical journalists have their limits, and I'm afraid there's a special, celibate hell for those of us who ridicule the mysteries of Cupid.

However, I believe there is a small exception for absurdly rich people who publicize their matrimonial bliss in the Sunday New York Times. Which brings us to Christina Matthews and Benjamin MacFarland III, who may just have experienced the lamest courtship ever. A story about their Palm Beach wedding appeared in the Times last Sunday. To anyone who knows them: I am really, really sorry.

Matthews, according to the Times, is a descendant of Henry Morrison Flagler, a builder who played a key role in the development of Florida's east coast. MacFarland's great-great-grandfather was Ben Shibe, one of the founders of the Philadelphia Athletics baseball team. Apparently, both kids are so damned wealthy that it was tough to find a suitable mate. So instead, they settled for um, the right eye color.

"When I saw her I got lost in her blue eyes. I always wanted to marry a brunette with blue eyes," MacFarland said. 

Matthews, meanwhile, "thought from the very beginning that Ben was a very handsome man." 

MacFarland claimed that Matthews had "a deeper insight into life" than the Palm Beach bimbos he usually dated, who "had little interest in anything beyond sunbathing, horseback riding and going to clubs." This rich lady, believe it or not, raises money for charity! 

At one point in their courtship, Matthews had the audacity to go on a date with another man. This really pissed off MacFarland, albeit in a very genteel, blue-blooded way. "When I heard she had kissed someone else, I asked if she wanted to be exclusive," he told the Times.

The couple was married last month at the Flagler Museum. I'm certain that their children, Stepford and Gertrude, will grow up in a world full of love, laughter, and crystal sippy cups. Cheers to the the happy couple!


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