Yup, the Sun-Sentinel Endorsed Mitt Romney
The Sun-Sentinel has come out and decided to endorse the candidate who thinks Syria is Iran's route to the sea.
That's right. The paper that is owned by JP Morgan Chase and some hedge funds, thinks that child molesters are a riot and is run by a dude who declared bankruptcy has officially endorsed Mitt Romney for President.
The Sentinel has traditionally gone Democratic in the past -- and endorsed Obama in 2008.
But this time around, it's telling its mostly liberal readers in Broward County to go with the Mittbot.
While the Miami Herald [update: Herald went with Obama] and Palm Beach Post have yet to come out with an endorsement, the Sun-Sentinel is sending shockwaves across the internet because ZOMG a liberal-leaning paper that previously endorsed Obama is now going with Mitt let's not even bother having an election now!!!!11!
The crux of the Sentinel's endorsement: The President has done good things but his talking points bug us, man. Also, he keeps talking about taxing the rich. What's up with that??
So, they list their reasons for going with RoboRomney:
We believe Romney's past performance is a predictor of his future behavior.
Like when he tied his dog to the roof of his car, for instance. Also, like when he pissed on half of America and called them freeloaders. But, hey, TALKING POINTZZ.
"He's proven himself to be a successful businessman."
Bain Capitol and its 22% companies that filed for bankruptcy under its leadership. Also, all them jobs to China fuck yea!
"He rescued the 2002 Winter Olympics from scandal and mismanagement."
Using mostly government money.
"He worked with a Democrat-dominated legislature as governor of Massachusetts to close a $3 billion budget deficit -- without borrowing and raising taxes."
And also left a very unpopular Governor, is currently losing to Obama in the polls in Massachusetts, and didn't have a Republican-run congress whose sole purpose in life was to veto every single piece of legislation he brought up -- no matter how important or morally sound -- just so that they can get him out of office.
"Certainly we have problems with Romney."
OH. DO TELL.
"At various times, and depending on whom he is speaking to, he has tried to appeal to social conservatives and immigration extremists."
He's a flip-flopping liar. And tries to appeal to basically whomever will vote for him. But Obama keeps talking about taxing the rich, so hey, we goin with Romney.
"His foray overseas this summer was hardly a roaring success, but during the most recent debate, he showed himself to be considered a leader capable of keeping our ship of state on a steady course."
He sucks ass when it comes to foreign policy, is an opportunistic liar, thinks most Americans are freeloaders, has no real sound budget plan, takes one stance one day, a different stance another, and is the leader of a party that degrades women, thinks that Obama is a secret Kenyan Muslim Socialist, and thinks that Jesus Christ should run America. BUT HE TOTALLY DID SUPER GOOD IN ONE DEBATE, SO LET'S VOTE ROMNEY.
Well done, Sun-Sentinel. But what else should we have expected from the newspaper that put up a paywall?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.