Anyone who would insist that movie reviewing is not a real job ('Sup, Mom) hasn't been forced to sit through screenings of Bewitched and Herbie: Fully Loaded in the span of five days -- and by forced, I mean either you see both movies, write 800 words about each, or else you don't collect your paycheck, which is a pretty fair definition of "forced." These stupefyingly awful offerings are, though, but par for the course this miserable year: After each screening, it seems, a few colleagues will huddle outside the theater to argue about whether this was, in fact, the worst Hollywood release of the year and not, oh, White Noise or Be Cool or Miss Congeniality 2 or The Longest Yard or Sahara or Jiminy Glick in Lalawood. It's not even July yet, and already a palpable, overwhelming sense of dread has set in: This will be the worst summer yet. No wonder the studios are fretting over plummeting profits and dwindling audiences. They need not blame piracy or DVD rentals, but their own anemic, anorexic product, which saunters into the theater a prince and gets booted out two weeks later a pauper,... More >>>