If you think Anna Kournikova, David Beckham, or Ricky Williams are divas, you should meet the guys in the PGA. They don't even have to commit to playing in a big tournament until less than a week before it starts. At press time, the humble stars who minded their manners and RSVP'd early for the Honda Classic included Vijay Singh, who's the world's number-one-ranked player; David Toms (number eight); and Ireland's Padraig Harrington (number nine). Todd Hamilton, who won the Honda Classic last year, will be at the Country Club at Mirasol (11300 Mirasol Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens) to defend his title, while Fred Couples, Bernhard Langer, Justin Leonard, and Dudley Hart will try to win it away from him. Tickets cost $15 to $40; a clubhouse badge ($75 to $85) gets you admission to the clubhouse, reserved seating on the 18th green, and a buffet lunch. The tournament runs through Sunday. Visit www.hondaclassic.com, or call 561-514-6999. (DF)
FRI 11
John Kerry may have had a rough time campaigning amid the Democratic Party's schizophrenic scramblings, but at least his running mate didn't have mental health issues. That was the fate suffered by George McGovern, the Democrats' 1972 presidential nominee, whose initial pick for VP (Thomas Eagleton) had three nervous breakdowns and two rounds of electroshock therapy. Needless to say, Richard Nixon kicked the crap out of him that November. Maybe McGovern should have heeded the warnings of the late Hunter S. Thompson, who cautioned against moving to the center. But alas, the great god of gonzo is gone, and the Democrats still think catering to the Bubba vote is a good idea. Maybe Hillary and other '08 presidential hopefuls can learn something from McGovern's book, The Essential America: Our Founders and the Liberal Tradition. McGovern drops by tonight at 7 to Barnes & Noble Bookstore (1400 Glades Rd., Boca Raton). Call 561-392-8478. (JB)
SAT 12
How's this for a midlife career change? Colton Ford, at the ripe old age of 39, decided to ditch the corporate world and go into... porn. "I figured hey, I might as well experience the insanity," he told about.com. It didn't hurt that he had already done some nude modeling and that he was dating gay porn star Blake Harper. On the side, Ford worked on his third career: music. He banged out a few club hits, and it wasn't long before a film crew noticed that Ford's story was ripe for a documentary. The movie Naked Fame tracks Ford and Harper for eight or nine months as their careers blow up. Now successful in multiple fields, Ford was asked, "How is touring as an artist different than touring as a porn star?" He answered, "Well, I mean, there's the same enthusiasm; the verbiage is just different. In the adult arena, they say, 'I just jacked off to you this morning -- you're great.' On the music side, the people are really supportive and enthusiastic." Ford will attend the opening weekend of Naked Fame at Sunrise Cinemas Gateway 4 (1820 E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) at 8 p.m. Friday and today. Tonight's screening is followed by a party at Chase (NE 21st Street and Federal Highway). Also today, at 4 p.m., Ford performs live at Pridefest at War Memorial Auditorium (NE Eighth Street and Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale). The film costs $8. Call 954-763-7994, or visit www.sunrisecinemas.com. (DF)
SUN 13
Once again, Miami hogs all of South Florida's weekend party time with the two-week party known as Carnaval Miami. And today is the carnaval's crown event -- Calle Ocho, the massive, 23-block fiesta that takes place on SW Eighth Street between Fourth and 27th avenues in Little Havana. Starting at 11 a.m. and lasting till 7 p.m., Calle Ocho is a medley of live music and fresh food, and it has a crowd to rival the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. So just how many bands are there? Oh, only 40 stages' worth. That's a lot of salsa dancing for you grownups -- so what are you going to do with the kids? Simple, call up your teenaged neighbor, say you got extra tickets to a giant concert (it's free anyway), and make him hang out in the kids' pavilion with the little ones. Call 305-644-8888, or visit www.carnavalmiami.com. (JB)
MON 14
It's the day we've all been waiting for... or at least, it's the day I've been waiting for. The world champion Boston Red Sox, now curse-free, hustle into town to play the Baltimore Orioles in a spring training game. Sadly, tickets are sold out, but it still might be worth playing hooky from work to bust out your inner groupie at Fort Lauderdale Stadium (1301 NW 55th St., Fort Lauderdale) when the teams show up for warm-ups. If you can't lie to the boss today, try doing it on the 24th, when the Sox return. An American League team, they won't play the Marlins in regular season at all -- so this is your chance to see the self-described "bunch of idiots" that includes Bronson Arroyo, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Curt Schilling, and Johnny Damon. No offense to the Orioles -- they do have Sammy Sosa and Luis Matos -- they just don't have a grand-slam-hitting caveman on their side. The game starts at 1:05 p.m., and tickets cost $4 to $18. Call 954-776-1921, or visit www.mlb.com. (DF)
TUE 15
For all his self-deprecating talk of being a "fake journalist," the Daily Show's Jon Stewart caused quite a riff when he reprimanded Crossfire hosts Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on their own show. Maybe CNN considered Stewart's gloveless jab at Carlson (that dick!) when it fired Carlson and pulled the plug on the show. Of course, the ratings-challenged MSNBC wasted no time picking up the bow-tied conservative because, you know, if Fox does it, it must work -- integrity be damned. Meanwhile, the left-leaning Begala remains at CNN (insert predictable "liberal bias" whining here). Yet through all this, Carlson and Begala have kept their speaking commitment at the Society of the Four Arts (2 Four Arts Plz., Palm Beach). The pundits stop by today at 3 p.m. to discuss "From the Left and the Right: A Look at Politics Today." Call 561-655-7226, or visit www.fourarts.org. (JB)
WED 16
Indeed, since the whole Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher hookup and the Justin Timberlake/Cameron Diaz romance, it has become fashionable for older chicks to get with younger men. Lest you forget, though, Mrs. Robinson became the world's quintessential MILF when she got it on with young college grad Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate. Plots aren't the only thing that twist and turn in the touring production of the play, which comes to the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale) through the 27th. This stage version stars Morgan Fairchild as the hot mama. Tonight's show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $21 to $64. Call 954-462-0222, or visit www.browardcenter.org. (DF)