It's hard to believe that this monument to bad taste has been with us for so long already, but it was back in April 1998 that Al Goldstein, publisher of the fine skin mag Screw, installed the giant stone sculpture of a disembodied palm and fingers in his back yard. Now on view to all who pass by his million-dollar mansion in Pompano Beach, the huge hand with extended middle finger was purchased by Goldstein after it appeared as a prop on the ABC-TV sitcom Spin City. The publisher, now in his mid sixties, isn't known for his refinement; in fact his overuse of the one-finger salute, especially on his New York City cable television show Midnight Blue, has been well-documented. We can only salute him in turn for bringing the sincere and gratuitous gesture to his South Florida friends and neighbors in such a big way.

Greater Trinity Baptist is literally west of the railroad tracks that separate Dania Beach's haves from the haves-not-as-much -- the traditionally white part of town from the black. In one year Rev. Louis Sanders drove off the drug dealers who used to lurk behind his church, scaring parishioners and forcing a momentous decline in attendance. Then he resurrected a solid community congregation that welcomes all comers. You don't have to be a believer or a Baptist, you don't have to be black (although most of the congregation is) -- you just have to give him a little respect. You'll get it back at you, with Sanders' patent warm welcome and a positive view of a community that has previously been in decline.

Greater Trinity Baptist is literally west of the railroad tracks that separate Dania Beach's haves from the haves-not-as-much -- the traditionally white part of town from the black. In one year Rev. Louis Sanders drove off the drug dealers who used to lurk behind his church, scaring parishioners and forcing a momentous decline in attendance. Then he resurrected a solid community congregation that welcomes all comers. You don't have to be a believer or a Baptist, you don't have to be black (although most of the congregation is) -- you just have to give him a little respect. You'll get it back at you, with Sanders' patent warm welcome and a positive view of a community that has previously been in decline.

It pays to have friends up north (i.e., Martin County). Otherwise we would never have found out about the Treasure Coast Wildlife Hospital, which provides short- and long-term care for wounded, sick, or orphaned critters 24 hours a day. More than 100 permanently impaired animals call this 25-year-old place home, including a one-winged bald eagle, a one-eyed pelican, and a six-year-old bobcat named Sophie who doesn't know how to be a bobcat because her mother got hit by a car when Sophie was only a few days old. We think Sophie has a good life right where she is. The dozen or so pelicans here like this place so much, they're raising a family. You'll also see crocodiles, alligators, and a white-tailed deer. Volunteers are available to answer your animal queries, and there's even a small gift shop with critter-related items. (It's hard to leave without a Tshirt, at least.) Visiting hours are Monday through Friday 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Admission is $2, and guided group tours are available.

It pays to have friends up north (i.e., Martin County). Otherwise we would never have found out about the Treasure Coast Wildlife Hospital, which provides short- and long-term care for wounded, sick, or orphaned critters 24 hours a day. More than 100 permanently impaired animals call this 25-year-old place home, including a one-winged bald eagle, a one-eyed pelican, and a six-year-old bobcat named Sophie who doesn't know how to be a bobcat because her mother got hit by a car when Sophie was only a few days old. We think Sophie has a good life right where she is. The dozen or so pelicans here like this place so much, they're raising a family. You'll also see crocodiles, alligators, and a white-tailed deer. Volunteers are available to answer your animal queries, and there's even a small gift shop with critter-related items. (It's hard to leave without a Tshirt, at least.) Visiting hours are Monday through Friday 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Admission is $2, and guided group tours are available.

This is a tough category in a county with such gems as Markham Park in Sunrise and the great beach parks maintained by the state, John U. Lloyd and Hugh Taylor Birch. Our pick is Snyder, an unpretentious city park of 93 acres that offers everything you need in a park, and all on a city budget. Snyder has two freshwater ponds, one with a football field-long swimming beach and weekend lifeguards to protect the kids; canoe and kayak rentals; hiking trails through sometimes dense foliage; paved trails for jogging, bicycling, or Rollerblading; a softball field; basketball courts; and picnic areas. It's clean, it's managed by some of the friendliest city workers you can find, and at twilight it's romantic. Snyder is also cheap. On weekends or holidays you'll pay $2 a person unless you're very young or very old, then it's $1.50. The weekday entrance fee is $1.50 or $1.

This is a tough category in a county with such gems as Markham Park in Sunrise and the great beach parks maintained by the state, John U. Lloyd and Hugh Taylor Birch. Our pick is Snyder, an unpretentious city park of 93 acres that offers everything you need in a park, and all on a city budget. Snyder has two freshwater ponds, one with a football field-long swimming beach and weekend lifeguards to protect the kids; canoe and kayak rentals; hiking trails through sometimes dense foliage; paved trails for jogging, bicycling, or Rollerblading; a softball field; basketball courts; and picnic areas. It's clean, it's managed by some of the friendliest city workers you can find, and at twilight it's romantic. Snyder is also cheap. On weekends or holidays you'll pay $2 a person unless you're very young or very old, then it's $1.50. The weekday entrance fee is $1.50 or $1.

Last year in this space we kind of goofed on Don Bailey, who is now a senior citizen but posed nude on his carpet at the age of 40 and has used the resultant painting to sell his wares ever since. You've seen the signs, where Bailey is propped on his side, wearing a slightly suggestive smile and little else. While giving Bailey his props for having the courage to bare all in his quest to sell rugs, we also noted that the ads were kind of "creepy," and that Bailey looked like a "pasty version of Hugh Beaumont from Leave It to Beaver" in the ads. We figured that Bailey either suffered from a chronic skin condition or hailed from Britain. Well, it looks like our frank comments spurred Bailey to action. He recently renovated the signs using the original portrait, and it seems that the pastiness wasn't a product of Bailey himself -- it was the work of the elements. To our amazement the new, nonweatherworn portrait confirms Bailey's contention that he was a stud in his time. He had a trim, fit physique and wasn't pasty in the least. In fact Bailey was actually reminiscent of the man who'd inspired the ad, Burt Reynolds, back when Reynolds was America's leading male sex symbol. Bailey, we're sorry we ever doubted ye.

Last year in this space we kind of goofed on Don Bailey, who is now a senior citizen but posed nude on his carpet at the age of 40 and has used the resultant painting to sell his wares ever since. You've seen the signs, where Bailey is propped on his side, wearing a slightly suggestive smile and little else. While giving Bailey his props for having the courage to bare all in his quest to sell rugs, we also noted that the ads were kind of "creepy," and that Bailey looked like a "pasty version of Hugh Beaumont from Leave It to Beaver" in the ads. We figured that Bailey either suffered from a chronic skin condition or hailed from Britain. Well, it looks like our frank comments spurred Bailey to action. He recently renovated the signs using the original portrait, and it seems that the pastiness wasn't a product of Bailey himself -- it was the work of the elements. To our amazement the new, nonweatherworn portrait confirms Bailey's contention that he was a stud in his time. He had a trim, fit physique and wasn't pasty in the least. In fact Bailey was actually reminiscent of the man who'd inspired the ad, Burt Reynolds, back when Reynolds was America's leading male sex symbol. Bailey, we're sorry we ever doubted ye.

When was the last time your doctor prescribed laugh therapy? Or spent one-and-one-half to two hours with you on your initial visit? And really listened to more than just the beating of your heart? Robert Willix does. Sure, it'll cost ya -- $375 to $500. (Follow-up visits, usually four to six weeks later, cost $75.) And no, your insurance won't cover it. But think of it this way: You've probably spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on doctors in your insurance plan, and you still don't feel good. Even better, did you notice the M.D. after his name? It's the real thing. Willix used to be a heart surgeon but gave that up two decades ago to practice alternative medicine "in its purest form," he says. But if the Chinese medicine doesn't work, he'll prescribe the drugs.