Five Steps for Turkey Day Excess Recovery, Via Song

In 1941, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, made Thanksgiving a national holiday -- a day when we could pay tribute to everything we had: family, friends, a good harvest. A great deal of us will spend Turkey Day recuperating from the prior evening's hangover -- due to the unencumbering liberation one often feels when the prospect of a four-day weekend comes on -- or devoting the entire afternoon to absolute gluttony, gouging ourselves with obscene platefuls of turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and all the fixings.

New Times urges Americans not to lose sight of our founding fathers' vision and encourages a day of overindulging with loved ones. Because, is there anything more American than putting away ten pounds of fowl in one sitting? Overeating is good for the economy, folks. With this in mind, we've devised this handy list of five songs that can be an excellent step-by-step companion to coming back from holiday excess.

1. "Bellyache" by Echobelly

You knew it was headed your way when you went for triples of Aunt Margie's delectable sweet potato marshmallow casserole. Don't act surprised. Although this track from '90s Britpop group Echobelly doesn't have anything to do with the subject matter, we do find some parallels with the juxtaposition presented by Morrissey-protégé lead vocalist Sonya Madan's croons. They soothe much like eating to one's content does, and the swirling kaleidoscopic crunch of the guitars is similar to the eddying effect stuffing one's face has when it all settles in the stomach.

2. "Pennyroyal Tea" by Nirvana

Is there a better cure for overeating than a nice cup of tea? Kurt Cobain certainly sounds like he is in the throes of a downright GERD upheaval on this ditty from the legendary grunge group's famed Unplugged performance. Don't let glum details like mentions of laxatives and cherry-flavored antacid -- direct references to techniques used by junkies to combat opiate addiction maladies -- and the fact that the pennyroyal herb is sometimes used as an abortifacient get you down. Tea is a universally accepted stomachache remedy in many cultures.

3. "Afternoon in Bed" by the Bats  

If the tea doesn't work, perhaps taking a good, old-fashioned nap will do the trick for indigestion. The Bats, the catchiest rock band from New Zealand you've probably never heard of, display excellent melancholic prowess on this autumnal track from 1995. It's the perfect jangle pop to snuggle with.

4. "Turkey Sandwich" by Mika Miko

After your nap, you will have worked up a little appetite. No matter how full you feel initially, there will come a time when you crave a just little something more; that's when this rousing track from now-defunct L.A. girl punk band Mika Miko comes into play. Let the charging power chords be your soundtrack as you slice yourself a few slivers of the bird and stack them between two slices of sourdough bread. We recommend being as brash as lead singer Jennifer Clavin (now with experimental synth pop act Cold Cave) sounds here; dab a little extra mayo on that sandwich. Go big.

5. "Sweat" by Afrika Bambaataa

And finally, after eating, napping, and gulping down some more, there's the sobering reality of that extra flab on your waistline. It is estimated that a typical Thanksgiving meal consists of  2,000 to 4,000 calories. So perhaps a little exercise is in order to counteract the bulging midriff? This track from the godfather of hip-hop, Afrika Bambaataa, is a funky way to get up off the couch and shake your moneymaker.