Reddick: Cream of mushroom. Because it's good with everything. It's neither soup nor cream, but you can put it on anything and it makes it better. I think you could put lifesavers in it and it'd still be good.
Burney: Wisconsin cheese. This is the best of all there is — Wisconsin cheese soup. Liquid cheese. Mmm... delicious.
Reddick: Chicken double noodle. Chicken noodle is the old standby. More importantly, double noodle. I mean, it's double noodle. It's edgy. It's delicious and one of those things you can eat when you're sick.
Burney: Tomato basil. It's a tasty combination of tomato and basil. It's a good, lasting marriage.
Burney: Tom kah gai. It's a lemongrass and coconut Thai soup. It's delicious. I mean, mega-delicious.
Reddick: Campbell's vegetable soup. It's funny because I don't like vegetables, but for some reason, that Campbell's vegetable soup is on, man. And sometimes, it even spells a word, which is good for a chuckle when you're having your lunch.
Burney: Sweet and sour. Any time you're sick or have a cold, eat some sweet and sour soup. It'll cheer you up much better than chicken noodle will.
Burney: Chicken tortilla. Always a winner. Liquid enchiladas, basically. It's a good one if you're in the mood for something spicy, to kick it up a notch.
Reddick: SpaghettiOs. I don't know if this qualifies as a soup, but I'm going with a can of SpaghettiOs. After all, it's canned like a soup. But that stuff's delicious, especially those little meatballs. I think they should just can those meatballs, to be honest. — Cole Haddon
Bowling for Soup performs Saturday, July 29, at the Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. with Lucky Boys Confusion, Punchline, and Army of Freshmen. Tickets cost $12 to $15. Call 954-564-1074, or visit www.cultureroom.net.
Wonder Twins
From God's first celebrity couple, Adam and Eve, to proto-musical duo the Captain & Tennille, archetypal specimens of the genus two-piece have always held a certain level of allure. However, a few years ago, you'll recall, a creature called the White Stripes was discovered in the dank barroom habitats of Detroit — and the wildly improbable success of this actual, honest-to-God, two-person rock 'n' roll band spawned a mating frenzy and subsequent explosion of duet offspring with various mutations.
From a physical standpoint, the two-piece can survive on a minimal amount of resources. Compared to its full-scale peers, the duo thrives in a significantly smaller habitat and requires fewer assets toward shelter, beer, or sandwiches.
A two-piece can easily inhabit one hotel room, a conservation of monetary resources that allows for longer and more frequent tours. This, in turn, enables the organism to sow its two-piece seed across the land in ways that a four- or five-piece could not afford. And splitting the end-of-evening cash payout in halfsies, rather than foursies, provides greater motivation to follow their gig instinct — and therefore to continue to build their fan base.
There's something about mated pairs that keeps an audience in eager expectation of full-on intercourse. No matter if the pair are same-sex, siblings, spouses, or all of the above, we in the audience are kind of hoping for humping at some point. We know that you won't actually get it on in front of us, but the possibility that you may be thinking of getting it on is just enough raw biology to keep us fully engaged.
The genus two-piece includes several species. Below are some of the most popular of the current era, though evidence suggests variations could, theoretically, be infinite:
Two-piece muchosexualis — The Raveonettes, the Kills, Fame, Jucifer, Mates of State, Quasi, and married electronica duo Madison Park
Two-piece justfriendsicus — Giant Drag, the Dresden Dolls, I Want a Hovercraft
Two-piece sausage festali — Death from Above 1979, the Black Keys, Two Gallants, Om, Oppenheimer, Swearing at Motorists
Two-piece incesticus — Fiery Furnaces, prehistoric specimens the Carpenters, and, at one point, the White Stripes. But they were later controversially reclassified, much to the humiliation of musical scientists duped by previous research. But hey — it's rock 'n' roll, not rocket science. — Alie Ward
All That
Greater Miami, once not even a speck on the jazz map, may now have something to say for itself. This past April, jazz trumpeting legend and Miami resident Arturo Sandoval opened his namesake club at the historic Deauville Beach Resort in Miami Beach. Faced with the challenges of the fickle South Florida crowd and a small, jazz-loving population, the club definitely has its work cut out for it if it wishes to achieve longevity. Sandoval insists that if he presents a good product, people will flock. Outtakes recently sat down with the maestro and asked him about his vision.
Outtakes: What was the concept you had in mind when designing the layout of the club?
Sandoval: The most important thing about the club is the music and who's onstage — being able to watch and listen to them perfectly. Jazz is very special to me, and I wanted the club to capture that. It's a classy place but very warm and comfortable.
What about Miami Beach led you to want to open a jazz club here, as opposed to someplace where jazz is more popular already?
I wanted a place in Miami Beach to go and listen to the best jazz in town and also eat amazing food. Because Miami is my home, I wanted to share my passion and love for jazz with the city.
Do you think the younger audience in Miami Beach will be receptive to this kind of club?
I think they already are. As a music professor, I see how important music is to my students, so I definitely think that the young music lovers will visit. The club offers a discount with a student ID.
You perform at the club often. How important is it for you to be constantly present at the club?
I spend most of my time touring and playing gigs outside of Miami, so it's nice to be able to play here whenever I'm available. I also like to spend as much time as I can and support my friends when they play at the club.
Do any of your students at FIU approach you about performing in the club? Would you like to make this a venue for newer local acts to showcase their talent? Or would you like to bring bigger acts on a regular basis?
We have both headliners... as well as local artists. On occasion, we like to showcase the most talented and up-and-coming artists. So far, we've had big names and also local greats like Ed Calle, Edwin Bonilla, and Nicole Henry. We have many artists — they're all my friends.
How do you think the club has been received?
I have received positive comments from my friends, fans, and other musicians in town. We needed a place like this in the city. — Veronica Cancio de Grandy
The Arturo Sandoval Jazz Club is adjacent to the Deauville Beach Resort, 6701 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Call 305-403-7565, or visit www.arturosandovaljazzclub.com.
