Top Five Mosh Pit Moves, From Rudimentary to Advanced

​You perfectly park your car in the middle of the spot, equidistant from the parallel lines on either side. You lock all of your doors, walk at a moderate pace toward the door, with the price of admission and your I.D. ready in your hand. You stand around and wait for bands to play. You watch bands, cross and uncross your arms, shift which leg you put most of your weight on, and maybe even eventually sit down.

The rest of music -- especially the wallpaper genre that is adult contemporary indie rock -- could take a cue from the live-show excitement of hardcore punk Youth Crew-descendants like Bane and their ridiculously high-energy, starving-for-action audiences.

Tonight at DIY hub the Talent Farm, the Bawston Hawdcore ensemble that took early 2000s hardcore by storm with its devastating blend of tradition and new-school stylistics will be conducting a top-shelf seminar in getting caught in a mosh. And in honor of the show, we've got our top five pit moves listed after the jump.

5. Pogo: O.G. Mosh Move

If you went from footage of glue-huffers jumping up and down to the Ramones and then fast-forward to the karate mosh war zone that is the contemporary pit, we're pretty sure your FB status would be reading: "WTF!" You've gotta crawl before you can walk, and you've gotta jump up and down before you can forcefully slam your body into someone else's.

4. Run in a Fucking Circle

The circle pit is the fundamental building block of slam-dancing, from
late '70s first-wave hardcore on. Even when people got tired of jogging
the circumference of a venue's dance floor, they still, to this day, mosh
in a circle.

3. Windmills (We Don't Mean Don Quixote)

The windmill is your entry-level "hardcore dancing" technique and one
of the most socially acceptable ways to break a random stranger's nose.

2. Pick It Up, Pick It Up

Ah, now we're getting a little deeper with the choreography. Though
obviously a gag, the below tutorial demonstrates most excellent form,
posture, and technique.

1. The Wall of Death

Now isn't this what moshing is really about? Getting a crowd to do
exceptionally dangerous shit in an environment in which it is difficult
to communicate injury or even temper the bloodshed in even the slightest
manner. Goddamn it, no one deserves to die via trampling, not even if
they paid to go see Hatebreed.

Bonus Mosh Move: Destroy Everything and Harm Everyone

Why any promoter would book Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza in the first
place is completely dumbfounding. Definitely watch this footage of an
already-extreme mosh pit going completely unhinged and turning into a
festival-sized brawl.

Bane, presented by Breakeven Booking, with Defeater, Miles Away, Dead End Path, and Hivemind. Tuesday, November 8. The Talent Farm. 20911 Johnston St., #111, Pembroke Pines. Show starts at 6:30 p.m. and costs $13 at the door.