Stitches is a viral rapper, but he's also a human meme. When the video for "Brick in Yo Face" hit the internet this past April, it racked up 6 million views in six days. The rhyme slinger was quickly declared a sensation, but he wasn't without his fair share of detractors.
Adam, a 35-year-old insurance salesman, was one of them. Although the Miami dweller has a straight job, he's basically a professional troll. In 2010, he was part of TwitterGate -- a phenomenon covered by Gawker Media in which pranksters got Tea Partiers to post offensive things under duress. And then used the remarks as a smear tactic.
But while Adam, who did not want to give his last name, was pissed about right-wing demagogues four years back, he was even more incensed when he saw "Brick in Yo Face."
"He's everything that was already wrong with [popular] culture, but he made it that much worse by being white and using the n-word," Adam explains. "He's as white as the day is long."
He says that he wanted to "ruin" the rapper but that his expertise as an internet connoisseur and muckraker led him nowhere. He couldn't find much about Stitches' past. Stitches regulates his social media closely, and anytime an IRL-friend would post a revealing comment on his accounts, it would be quickly deleted. Haters were frequently blocked. The rapper's Instagram would oscillate between private and public at seemingly arbitrary times.
"I feel like maybe he did enough of a good job so his online presence wasn't -- so there wasn't any story to be had," Adam says.
Despite the roadblocks, New Times published a #longread yesterday about the rapper that called his street cred into doubt and probed into his background. Ultimately it showed that the Kendall-bred 19-year-old's ascent to fame was more a product of internet myth-making than anything else.
So even though Stitches is secretive, the score has been settled. Gangster? Maybe not so much. A+ internet curio? Absolutely. So here's to Stitches, human meme. To celebrate his being canonized beside Good Guy Greg and Gangham Style, here are a few of the best e-jokes about the guy.
Because Stitches grew up the step-son of a Miami cop in West Kendall:
And then got destroyed in a high school rap battle:
Re-invented himself as a cocaine-trafficker-cum-musician:
Became the most viral rapper of all time:
And convinced people that he was a terrifying psychopath, rather than a West Kendall kid who once blew out candles at a birthday dinner.
Bless you, internet. Just... bless you.
Send your story tips to the author, Allie Conti.
Follow Allie Conti on Twitter: @allie_conti
Follow @NewTimesBroward
