Hey there blogosphere, do me a favor. I need you to send seven bucks and a couple unshucked peanuts (my approximate daily wage) to the New Times newsroom, because if you fine supporters do so, I can have the day off. Mayhap I shall venture to K-Mart. Time will tell.
Apparently, this is the logic of Rudy Moise, congressional candidate for Florida's 17th district. New Times just received an e-mail from his official campaign soliciting money so that Moise can have today off from the campaign trail to celebrate his anniversary. Or as his wife puts it, "rescue Rudy from call time" so that they may take "romantic walks."
The response from Moise's deputy campaign manager: "You shouldn't have received that. That just goes to our supporters."
Now, New Times has been a proud supporter of family
values since Mark Foley made it uncool to do otherwise, and we applaud
Moise on 10 happy years of marital bliss with his lovely wife, Mirjam.
However, we're pretty sure that campaign money is supposed to
go toward, you know, your campaign, and that your personal money goes
toward, you know, your wife. It is entirely possible that we got the
two confused.
So we called up Anastasia Apa, Moise's campaign
manager, who says it's a big misunderstanding: "It's actually supposed
to be fun. Every day he has a daily goal of money to raise, and he
raises most of that money during call time, when candidates sit and
call supporters and ask for contributions." The premise of the e-mail,
then, was that if enough donations came in this afternoon, Moise could
head home early to his wife and kids for "a nice, quiet dinner."
Now,
why doesn't he just take the day off? Being married to the job is one
thing, but it's not your 10th anniversary with the job. As far as
public knowledge and modern science would have us know, you don't have
two children with the job... right?!
So alas, no campaign funds
are going toward tonight's seduction. That still doesn't mean you
shouldn't send your loose change to New Times and get me out of here.
Mama's got some shopping to do.
Full e-mail text below (links removed):
Today, April 29th, Rudy and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. I would love to have the day to spend with him.
Click here to give $10 to help me rescue Rudy from call time so we can spend our 10th Wedding Anniversary together.
Since he's been out on the campaign trail, we've missed a lot of family dinners and romantic walks in the park; however, we know that's a small price to pay for Rudy to have the chance to make a difference in Congress for the people of our community and country.
Still, spending today together would be wonderful...you can help me make it happen.
Click here to give $10 to help me rescue Rudy from call time so we can spend our 10th Wedding Anniversary together.
Thanks for your help,
Mirjam Moise
P.S. If you can't give $10 but want to volunteer 10 hours between now and the election, click here to sign up to volunteer.
