Valentine's Day is right around the corner, bruh; you better start formulating a plan. Last year, you waited until the last minute, and you ended up taking your girl to Outback. This year inevitably will be the same as every past Valentine's Day in South Florida: long reservation lists at restaurants, large crowds everywhere you go, and your thirsty ass looking for some sex -- so it's a good idea to get thinking about what you have in store for your special lady this year. Don't get shut out again; learn from that Outback experience.
The good news for you is: I've put together a list of five options for Valentine's Day 2015 that are sure to lead to some intense make-out sessions for you and your bae. Take a look at the list below and choose which one sounds good to you. Some of these are sure-fire ways to score with the ladies and keep you out of the doghouse.
5. Take her to Butterfly World in Coconut Creek.
Your girl loves butterflies. Even if your girl doesn't know she loves butterflies, she loves butterflies; it's science. Chances are she has a butterfly tattoo on her back somewhere too. The Butterfly World in Coconut Creek is not a place you've been unless you've pulled this cheesy move before, but even if you've already been -- go to the well once more this Valentine's Day. Your girl will be prancing around this Bio Dome-looking place so happy, feeling so beautiful -- and just then is when you strike.
4. Go to the iPic Theater at Mizner Park in Boca Raton.
Let's get one thing out of the way before we begin here -- no, this one will not work if you choose to see American Sniper. Let your girl pick the movie, though, and this one is golden. If you're unaware of what an iPic theater entails, you obviously didn't watch the video I included. Laziness like that won't get you closer to some action on Valentine's Day. In short, this place is like dinner and a movie except you do them both at once -- which is cool, because we as men like doing as much as we can in as little time as possible. This theater is basically the upstairs of a restaurant named Tanzy, which I can tell you from a recent experience is totally that place that will make your girl feel fancy and you, uncomfortable.
Take your girl here and you'll cut a good two hours off the time it will take you to get from "point A" to "point B(edroom)".
3. Have a picnic on Deerfield Beach. This isn't original, but it's proven.
Hey, guy, you live in South Florida -- don't make this harder than it has to be! The best part about this here idea is you can save money on the expensive dinner but actually gain points in the process -- BRO LIFE HACKS! I chose Deerfield Beach because after about 8 p.m., this place is a ghost town, mainly because everyone who goes to this beach is over 80, and 8 p.m. is basically the middle of the night to them.
I don't know the first thing about picnics, but look at the guy in that video above -- he's totally getting laid tonight. You gotta do flowers, champagne, food, blanket, and chocolate, in that order. If you do these things correctly and don't continually check your fantasy basketball team the entire time, you should be lip-locking at stoplights the entire ride back up Hillsboro Boulevard.
2. Learn to cook her favorite meal, then make her favorite drinks at home.
You're pretty much a lost cause to her when it comes to cooking, so she would never see this one coming. If you are really feeling like pretending this is a scene in the movie Hitch, get someone to come to your home and give you a cooking lesson together. In the end, your girl will appreciate this so much more than ordering off a menu at some place with lots of noise -- just make sure what you learn to cook isn't something you saw on the Epic Meal YouTube channel. In addition to learning how to cook something she loves, buy everything you need to make her favorite drink. You're the bartender and chef for the night. That should end well for you.
1. Take her (and the family) ice skating at the Saveology IcePlex in Coral Springs.
This one is especially fun if you have kids. It's the perfect idea to include them in this year's Valentine's Day festivities but still have time later for an "adult date." This is also a great idea if your girl's mom is single -- ask her to come along; it'll get you some points in the end. Ice skating is totally cheeseball, but it's something different to make this day seem special. Why not combine this with one of the above places? Valentine's Day is on a Saturday this year, after all, so a combination date day would win your girl over and keep you in her good graces until the next made-up holiday meant to make us guys broke.
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