Back in January, we told you about a man who was caught and arrested for stealing a "Super Sucker" masturbating device from a Bradenton Spencer's.
But, as it turns out, people in Bradenton are apparently really horny (and broke), because the same Spencer's was hit by a separate would-be thief.
This time, someone almost absconded with tubes of lube.
Lots and lots of lube.
For sex.
According to an arrest affidavit from the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, 18-year-old Rachel Waiters allegedly walked into the store and put a bunch of sample packs of lube in her purse before walking out without buying anything.
Now, while samples are technically free, taking the entire sample is not such a good thing.
Store security, being vigilant about people trying to gank sex devices and/or lube without paying for them, confronted Waiters and asked her to empty her purse. She did, and they found the lube.
When the cops were called in, they asked Waiters if she had anything in her pockets.
She did.
More lube.
Waiters also pulled out a couple of bottles of KY Jelly that were tucked inside her pants.
When a female officer conducted a pat-down search, Waiters gave her another tube of lube and a bottle of lube, according to the affidavit.
At this point, we've honestly lost count on how many bottles of lube Waiters allegedly had stuffed in her pants. But it was enough for the cops to haul her in.
Sorrry, this story was not as sexy as we had originally hoped it would be...
follow Chris Joseph on Twitter
Follow @NewTimesBroward
