Rise and shine there, big shooter. It's time to start the day. And what better way to kick things off than by checking the news. If you're like us, you head over to the Pulitzer Prize-winning Sun Sentinel for a daily dose. Maybe you want to want to see what happened at last night's county commission meeting or scan the box scores. So you log onto South Florida's largest daily news source, start scrolling...
And then boom.
Nope, you're not seeing things. You haven't accidentally logged on to the site of some morally loose alternative news site. Those are boobs, and they're smack in the middle of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Sun Sentinel's homepage, sharing pixel space with the police blotter and Rick Scott's latest controversy. And damn if they're not hard to miss.
"Crazy Cleavage" (41 pics!) is well, according to the site: "Hot celebrities showing off their beefed up busts."
Did you hear that? BEEFED UP BUSTS! Forty-one pics!
This really shouldn't be a surprise if you've been keeping an eye on the Pulitzer Prize-winning news outlet's "Gone Viral..." section. Some of the latest entries include "Hacked with naughty pics," "Top Dolphin cheerleaders," "Miss Teen USA," "Hot lingerie fashions," "ABC Star Sofia Vergara."
That's so much gratuitous T&A, the Sun Sentinel's website probably should come with a parental warning. Having been a 12-year-old kid with an internet connection and questions, we're confident many younguns have that page bookmarked. BEEFED UP BUSTS! Homeless guys are probably lining up at the library right now for some alone time on the public computers. Forty-one pics!
But there's a trick going on here. Each time they snag some lascivious sucker jonesing something fierce for a heaving bosom and each time said sucker clicks through the skin show... page views! Forty-one clicks! That way some suit can sit in a presentation at the paper's parent company and talk about how many UNIQUE VISITORS they got this month. No doubt, they let everyone else think those clicks are coming from readers interested in breaking news or in-depth investigations, not babes and boobs. Journalism!
Now, we know what you're thinking: Pot, shut the hell up about the kettle. And yes, of course, here at New Times, we've been known to dabble in racy content from time to time. And sure, we're all about using sex to rope in a few extra clicks.
But at least when we do lowbrow sexy, we do it with some elan and wit. Or at least there's an actual story attached. This? This is like a Playboy without the articles -- straight babes and boobs. You can't be so shameless about it.
Remember, they don't give Pulitzer Prizes for smuttiest slide show.
Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.
Follow @NewTimesBroward
