Illustration by Alex Izaguirre
The Obama election affects not only the whole world, but also the food world. Here are ten predictions on how this might play out:
- Hula girls will replace mariachi bands as the most annoying dining distraction, and restaurant owners will find it increasingly profitable to put pineapples on pizzas and chicken kabobs.
- The younger generation of Cuban-Americans will experiment with substituting tofu for ham in their media noches.
- A legal dispute will arise between two Kendall coffee shop waitresses, each claiming credit for coining the phrase “You betcha!”
- The upscale/casual chain Houston’s will change its’ name to Richmond’s.
- A Miami restaurant tax will be levied upon all diners from Missouri -- just because. Residents of that state will be polled to see whether or not they believe the tax to be discriminatory. Fifty percent will say “yes”, fifty percent “no.”
- The Reverend Wright will open a fast food joint in Chicago and call it “God**** Good Burgers!”
- John McCain will eat at a prominent Miami dining establishment; a waiter will later confess to the press that “the Senator took an inordinately long amount of time to vet his menu choices.”
- In terms of restaurant decor, blue becomes the new red.
- Sales of sushi and arugula will soar. Culinary losers: Spam, white bread, mayonnaise, beef jerky, and Kraft single slices.
- A great vegetarian restaurant will open in Miami. Hey, if an African-American with the middle name “Hussein” can get elected President, anything can happen. Repeat after me: Yes it can! Yes it can! Yes it can!
-- Lee Klein
