If your debit card's been stolen, and you're left with a troika of crumpled one-dollar bills plus a few coins and fuzzballs in your pocket, this'll work.
Big Flats, 1901? Sounds like the site of a fictional railroad accident, implying not refreshment but derailed coal cars oozing steam and death.
Pairing the adjective "flat" with the noun "beer" takes a certain kind of marketing genius, the sort Walgreens tapped to help sell their ersatz lager.
If it didn't look so much like "Big Farts" on the can, it'd have more of a chance.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie Facebook on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.