Talking Shit

Ten Signs You're Dating a Fort Lauderdale Fuckboy

By Lost in Laudy
May 18, 2016

It's only Wednesday, but you're already counting down the hours until the weekend. You've set all the necessary appointments: hair, nails, wax. Yes, you'll be looking fresh as hell with all your girls come Friday night happy hour, but we all know what you've got lined up for later. Although...
Pitbull Is Coming to Miami — Or Actually to Sunrise, Which Is a Great Part of Miami

By Chuck Strouse
May 13, 2016

In a story titled "Pitbull leaves Miami Out of His Upcoming Tour" yesterday in Miami New Times, New Times Broward Palm Beach's sister publication, ignorant freelance writer Dyllan Furness got it completyely and absolutely wrong. Furness pointed out that Mr. 305 is avoiding the 305 in his Bad Man Tour...
The Perils of Boozy Brunching in Fort Lauderdale

By Lost in Laudy
Feb 16, 2016

Brunch is a beautiful, wonderful thing; a heroine of meal-time concepts, a weekend hangover savior. It’s the light that gives you hope in those morning-after moments when you wake up smelling like Jameson and regret. Tap 42? AmSo? Coconuts? Boozy brunch in Fort Lauderdale is always a good idea. Or...
Bruce Springsteen: Boss or Bore?

By Angel Melendez
Feb 10, 2016

Bruce Springsteen — the Boss, our beloved headband-wearing, blue-jeans-clad, all-American Everyman — is one of the most mind-numbing superstars in the history of rock 'n' roll. Over the course of a nearly five-decades-long career, Springsteen has solidified himself as a well-liked white dude from New Jersey who got rich making...
The Ten People You See on Fort Lauderdale Beach

By Lost in Laudy
Jan 26, 2016

South Florida is known for its beautiful beaches. From trendy South Beach to the laid back Hollywood boardwalk to the dive bars on Fort Lauderdale’s A1A, there’s a beach spot to cater to whichever of your personalities you feel like channeling that day. If you happen to be feeling like...
Pro Tips From a Himmarshee Street Bartender

By Lost in Laudy
Jan 19, 2016

Ah, Himmarshee. It’s like the Bourbon Street of Fort Lauderdale, except instead of beads, all anyone throws is up. In high school, it’s where you go to drink underage and during college, it’s the place your inner ratchet wild child finds solace. Post-college, it’s where I would earn extra cash...
16 Dating Rules to Break in 2016

By Lost in Laudy
Jan 8, 2016

Let’s be honest, most of these dating rules are just excuses we’ve told ourselves over the years to avoid the fact that someone we liked just didn’t like us back. At the end of the day, if you’re into someone, the "rules" don’t really matter. Following the standard dating procedures...
Ten Reasons to Never Date a Yachtie

By Lost in Laudy
Dec 30, 2015

Whether you’re a SoFlo local or an out-of-towner stopping by for a little fun in the sun, you're probably aware of Fort Lauderdale's reputation as the "Venice of America." Tens of thousands of boats pop into this rambunctious city every year bearing a bounty of treasure for the locals —...
Tinder Nightmares of Fort Lauderdale

By Lost in Laudy
Dec 18, 2015

Lost in Laudy is a Fort Lauderdale-based 20-something gal living the independent life and trying to make sense of hook-up culture and dating in South Florida. May her Tinder-and-alcohol-fueled anecdotes bring you solace. PTBE (Post Tinder Boredom and Exhaustion) can push a girl pretty far out of her comfort zone as...
What's on Your Spotify? The Presidential Candidates Edition

By David Rolland
Nov 16, 2015

Due to complaints that America's favorite fall reality show, The Presidential Debates, have been taking too damn long, broadcasters have taken editorial liberties with some rather crucial interactions among the nominees. Though they've kept discussion on trivial topics like the economy and foreign policy, it seems one of the most...
Which Is It? Five Reasons Rock Is Dead; Five Reasons Rock Is Still Alive and Well

By Steve Brennan
Jul 20, 2015

Sinead O’Connor believes that Kim Kardashian’s appearance on the cover of Rolling Stone represents the death of music. Her provocative tweet last week blasted both the reality T.V. star and the magazine, and left bloggers split whether the Irish singer was telling it like it is, or trolling to muster...
There's More to Sarah McLachlan Than Sad Puppies

By Liz Tracy
Mar 27, 2015

You're home on a Wednesday at midnight watching the same Seinfeld episode for the fiftieth time (not that there's anything wrong with that). You get up, take a piss, and come back to a familiar voice singing those haunting words: "In the arms of the angel…" On the screen, there's a...
Can One Man Listen to Every Nickelback Song Ever?

By Stephen Feller
Mar 24, 2015

There's a point on Nickelback's latest album, No Fixed Address, about five seconds into "She Keeps Me Up," when you realize this is what it sounds like when Chad Kroeger attempts to write a song that deviates from the band's longtime successful formula. As soon as that Franz Ferdinandesque beat...
Liz Tracy's Greatest Hits and Farewell to New Times

By Liz Tracy
Mar 20, 2015

When I was 31, I decided to do something different with my time. I waved my middle finger at the nonprofit world and embraced a thankless career in full-time freelance writing. It was a good fit for me since I love working slavishly for very little pay and a lot...
Is Lil Wayne a Modern Day Hemingway?

By Dyllan Furness
Mar 18, 2015

Some critics accuse Lil Wayne of lyrical atrophy. They blame fame or sizzurp or Nicki Minaj for the loss of his intricate wordplay. But I wonder if Wayne is just one of many artists who've matured, evolved, you might say, from the complexities of youth to the more essential expressions...
Six Tips to Help You Book Your Own Tour

By New Times Staff
Mar 12, 2015

Ron Cogswell / FlickrThe open road is calling your name. By Drew Ailes As musicians love to explain to anyone stupid enough to listen to them, organizing and playing shows can be a lot of work for little reward. In addition to wrangling multiple groups of morons in the same...
Hey Tall People, Stop Being Jerks At Concerts

By New Times Staff
Mar 11, 2015

By Amy McCarthy As I angled for a good spot at a concert a couple weeks back, an elbow descended from on high at dizzying speed, only to directly and sharply make contact with my boobs. I hollered, "Hey, asshole!" but whatever the DJ was playing was too loud for...
Chris Brown's Media Problem Isn't All About Chris Brown

By Liz Tracy
Feb 18, 2015

I was up all Thursday night worrying about Chris Brown. No one but Rihanna and Karrueche know what that feels like. He'd just wrapped up the kickoff of his Between the Sheets tour with Trey Songz and Tyga at BB&T Center in Sunrise, Florida. But what kept me awake was...
West Palm Beach Indie Band Rivers Goes Trap with Samlightning Remix

By Alex Rendon
Feb 6, 2015

Though we love it, we know, we don't give trap music enough play here at the County Grind. Lord knows, there's enough of it oozing out of every car speaker around in these parts, but not enough local beatmakers are touting the speedy, bass-heavy genre. Danny Brunjes, frontman for the...
Wale Is Possibly the Nerdiest Cool Rapper, Seinfeld and All

By Lee Castro
Feb 4, 2015

Rapper Wale had an unpredictable and odd 2014. The D.C. representative of Maybach Music Group punched a heckling fan while attending a WWE event in April, left Jay Z's Roc Nation management in August in favor of 77 North -- run by LeBron's buddies -- and had a one-sided "beef"...

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