AFC East

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2014

    Bills Fans Blame Refs for Dolphins Thursday Night Slaughter

    The Miami Dolphins opened a very large can of whoop-ass on the Buffalo Bills Thursday night, decimating the Bills 22-9 in a game that was slathered in playoff implications. The winner of this game would move on to challenge for the AFC East title, the loser would be on the outside looking in. But t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2014

    Leodis McKelvin on Upcoming Game Versus Dolphins: "We're Going to Beat Their Ass"

    The Miami Dolphins and Buffalo Bills could have headed into this Thursday's matchup looking to go 7-3 and positioning themselves for a strong push to win the AFC East. Instead, both teams were beaten and now both teams are staring at a game that, should they lose, will bury them in a very deep hole ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Set to Play Jets in First Divisional Game Ever in London

    The Miami Dolphins are set to become the first (of two) teams to play a divisional game in London in 2015. On Thursday, the NFL announced its trio of games that are played annually across the pond, and the Dolphins are included in that batch. The slight difference this time around is that Miami wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2014

    Dan Marino Fixed Ryan Tannehill; Dolphins Destroy the Chargers

    The Miami Dolphins won their third-consecutive game on Sunday by thoroughly trouncing the San Diego Chargers to the tune of 37-0. It was one of the most complete beatdowns the Dolphins have handed an opponent in some time, which not only made Sunday an absolute riot but also brought us one week clo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 30, 2014

    Fifteen Halloween Costumes These Famous Floridians Should Wear

    Today is Halloween Eve, so if you haven't decided on your costume yet, congratulations, you're probably cutting eye-holes out of a bed sheet tonight! I get it, you've been too busy, Halloween snuck up on you, it happens. If you think you have no time to go browsing the aisles of Walmart looking for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2014

    Defense and a Suicidal Pigeon Help Dolphins Take Down Jaguars

    The Miami Dolphins did something rare on Sunday. They won a second-consecutive game. That's two wins in a row! It was as if we had almost forgotten you can do that. But the Dolphins did and now stand at 4-3 on the season and well on their way to winning the AFC East JUST AS WE PREDICTED. A dominant ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2014

    Ten Reasons the Dolphins Will Win the AFC East

    We sling a lot of poop at the Miami Dolphins around these parts. And for good reason. They suck. They tend to stuff all our Sundays, loyalties, and hope into a cannon and fire it into an active volcano like Xenu. But screw that. We're going to forge ahead and -- perhaps against all sense and reaso ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2014

    Ryan Tannehill Serves His Critics a STFU Sandwich With a Chicago Bears Beatdown

    Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill stepped up against the Chicago Bears on Sunday and spoonfed everyone a giant heap of STFU with a brilliant 277-yard-passing, 48-yard-rushing, two-touchdown performance, leading Miami to a 27-14 victory. Tannehill, who has had it rough as of late, dissected the Be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2014

    Dolphins Get Beaten by Dan Marino Spike Play

    Midway through the second half of the Dolphins-Packers game Sunday, Fox color analyst John Lynch compared Aaron Rodgers to Fins legend Dan Marino. Lynch told viewers that Marino's release was the quickest he's ever seen but that Rodgers' release was right up there. Little did Lynch -- or any of us - ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2014

    13 Things Dolphins Fans Can Do to Re-Create the Experience of Watching a Dolphins Game During Bye Week

    The 2-2 Miami Dolphins are on a bye week this week, which means we have nothing to watch this Sunday. But that doesn't mean you should miss out on the ethereal experience of actually watching a Dolphins game. So, we're here to help. Here are 13 things you can do to re-create watching a Dolphins ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2014

    The Dolphins Found a Team That Sucks More Than They Do

    If only the Dolphins could play the Oakland Raiders every week. But, alas. The Dolphins took their sucktitude 4,445 miles across the Atlantic to London, England, where they brought vengeance and furious anger upon the Raiders in a 38-14 slapdown win, bringing their illustrious record to 2-2. It wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    The Miami Dolphins Must Win Sunday, Or It's All Over

    The Dolphins season is at a breaking point, and a loss Sunday would be the final karate-chop that shatters it into a million aqua pieces. Coming off a complete stinker of a blowout loss to the totally beatable Kansas City Chiefs at home last week, Sunday's game in London against the Oakland Raiders ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2014

    Dolphins Players Turning on Joe Philbin and Coaching Staff After Embarrassing Loss

    So that was not at all shocking. The Miami Dolphins, coming off a throttling at the hands of the Buffalo Bills last week, had a chance at getting back on track this week at home against a Kansas City Chiefs team playing without seven of its starters, including its star running back, that managed to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2014

    9 Reasons Kansas City Chiefs Fans Are the Worst

    The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game, and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win, while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't. Not us. Not here. Instead, w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Lose All Their Running Backs in Bills Loss

    Well, it was fun while it lasted. The Miami Dolphins got their butts pounded by the Buffalo Bills on Sunday to the tune of 29-10. And while the offense did put up a little bit of a fight in the second half, it was mostly a disaster. Terrible passes, blocked punts, a kick-off returned for a TD, fou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2014

    9 Reasons Buffalo Bills Fans Are the Worst

    The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game, and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win, while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't. Not us. Not here. Instead, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2014

    Miami Dolphins: Five Things We Learned From Their Beatdown Over the Patriots

    They did it. They actually friggin' did it! The Miami Dolphins managed to overcome their own Dolphiningness and decimated the New England Patriots 33-20 to start the 2014 season with a bang. Miami wrecked the haters in the face and took names as they sacked Tom Brady, forced turnovers, and -- WAIT ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 4, 2014

    Dolphins Wife Christy Denney, the Girl Who Ate Everything, Releasing Cookbook September 9

    For all the turbulence one can come across in the media stemming from the shenanigans of NFL players, it is refreshing when an NFL-tinged story comes out that does not involve nightclub beatdowns, bullying, locker-room vitriol, and so-so seasons. Yes, we're talking about the Miami Dolphins. But this ... More >>

  • News

    September 4, 2014
  • Blogs

    August 28, 2014

    Fan Who Released Great Miami Heat Song Unveils Miami Dolphins Parody

    Last month, we told you about a listener to a local sports radio program who released an excellent Miami Heat parody song called So Rude (Riley Ain't Scared). Now, the Zaslow and Joy show on the Ticket Miami is soliciting Miami Dolphins parody songs in exchange for tickets, and the same fan has deli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2014

    Sun Life Stadium Taps Broward Restaurants For New Food Lineup

    It looks like we're in for a winning football season at Sun Life Stadium -- for dining. The home of the Miami Dolphins has made a distinct change to its roster of food options for the 2014 season, with the promise of delivering high quality food and good prices. See also: Filet Mignon Sliders and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2014

    Six Reasons Dan Marino Being Hired by the Miami Dolphins Is Great News

    The big news over the weekend was that the Miami Dolphins have finally gone ahead and hired Hall of Fame quarterback and all-time Dolphin icon Dan Marino to a front-office job. The actual title of the job is "special advisor." And while that can literally mean just about anything, all indications s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2014

    Eight Types of Miami Dolphins Fans

    The Miami Dolphins are well into the preseason, facing off against the Buccaneers in Tampa on Saturday night. And that means football season is in full swing. And while kickoff is still a couple of weeks off, people are either excited, not excited, or just don't give a crap that the Dolphins are ab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2014

    Brady Quinn Working Out for the Miami Dolphins (Updated)

    Seven years later, Brady Quinn could be a Miami Dolphin! And it's basically because the Dolphins are hurting at quarterback right now (still). Starting QB Ryan Tannehill had a decent performance during the Dolphins' first preseason game over the weekend. But his backups, Matt Moore and Pat Devlin, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2014

    Top Ten South Florida Athletes Post-LeBron

    For the last four years it hasn't even been an argument. LeBron James (sigh) was the best athlete in South Florida. But now that the dirty liar/coward he's gone, things get interesting (read: less good) again. For example, this potential conversation could happen at any South Florida bar tonight. D ... More >>

  • News

    July 10, 2014
  • Blogs

    July 3, 2014

    Cooking Channel's Best in Chow Brought the Pizza War to Fort Lauderdale

    If you caught the Cooking Channel's Best in Chow Season 2 episode last night, "BBQ Wars Miami," you'll know that yet another TV show has rolled through our tip of the state looking for picturesque backdrops and culinary drama. The BBQ episode pitted Downtown joint Sparky's Roadside Barbecue with Nor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2014

    Dolphins Dope/Center Mike Pouncey Undergoes Hip Surgery, Now Out Three Months

    Late yesterday afternoon, Adam Schefter of ESPN reported that Miami Dolphins dope with hugely questionable judgment center Mike Pouncey underwent hip surgery and would be out at least three months. It came as a jarring gut punch given that the injury now ensures five new starters will make up next ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 30, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Scout Claims He Was Fired For Taking Care of Ailing Wife

    It appears that the Miami Dolphins are continuing their chase to become the most dysfunctional pro football team in the history of the NFL. Along with being mediocre on the field going on nearly two decades, going through an embarrassing bullying scandal last season, and having to suspend a player ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2014

    Mike Pouncey Made an Unfortunate Tweet About Dolphins' Draft Pick

    Jocks are dumb. This is pretty universally accepted. It might be unfair, but sometimes the evidence is overwhelming. Or maybe it's just a Dolphins thing? Either way. With the 19th-overall pick, the Miami Dolphins selected yet another offensive tackle in Tennessee OT Ja'Wuan James. Not long after ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2014

    Ten Worst Draft Picks In Miami Dolphins History

    In case you haven't noticed what with all the Miami Heat awesomeness lately, the NFL Draft is going down Thursday night. And, as is pretty much the case every year, your Miami Dolphins have the 19th overall selection because nothing rewards mediocrity more than mediocrity. The Fins have been going ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Hire Ex-FBI Agent to Oversee Locker-Room Security

    In the wake of a bullying scandal that rocked the Miami Dolphins last season, the team has gone and hired an ex-FBI agent who worked in a joint terrorism task force to head its locker-room security. According to, the Fins have signed 23-year FBI veteran Joe Cicini as their locker-room secur ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2014

    9 Reasons Dan Marino Should Not Take Any Front Office Jobs with the Dolphins

    Hi Dan Marino. Hi. Hello. How are you? You might not remember me, but we met last year during a Miami Dolphins presser when they unveiled their new logo and uniforms. I was the guy who walked up to you and tried asking you a question but instead only managed to say something along the lines of, "D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2014

    Michael Sam Would Be Welcomed by Dolphins With Open Arms, Says Stephen Ross

    Earlier this week, Missouri defensive end Michael Sam's college coach said certain NFL teams would likely not accept him as the first openly gay pro football player. And then he went and cited the Miami Dolphins by name as one of those teams. Missouri head coach Gary Pinkel singled out the Dolphins ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Offering Trips to SeaWorld as Part of Season Ticket Package

    The Miami Dolphins suck. And because they suck, they've had a hard time selling season tickets to the masses who refuse to pay big bucks to a perpetually mediocre team with no real direction or hope. They've pissed off a lot of people with the way they run their organization. So, to get people to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2014

    Jeff Ireland Out As Miami Dolphins General Manager

    After six long years of perpetual failure, ineptitude and building a team drenched in mediocrity, Jeff Ireland is no longer the general manager of your Miami Dolphins. The announcement that the Dolphins and Ireland had mutually agreed to part ways came Tuesday evening, one week after the NFL's so-c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2014

    Stephen Ross Lands at Miami Dolphins Training Facility in Helicopter; Is He Firing Someone?

    After a few days of pondering his next brilliant move, Stephen Ross appears to have made up his mind and moments ago landed at the Dolphins' training facility. ESPN's Adam Schefter has said numerous times on air that he believes coach Philbin's job is safe, but there is some doubt as to whether gene ... More >>

  • News

    December 26, 2013
  • Blogs

    December 16, 2013

    Michael Thomas, Miami Dolphins Hero, Was Just Signed To the Team Last Week

    Your Miami Dolphins took down the New England Patriots 24-20 on Sunday, ending a 7-game losing streak against the Pats, bringing Fins fans everywhere a most welcome Victory Monday, and silencing a multitude if obnoxious douchebags all across New England. And the best part of all, was that they were ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2013

    Richie Incognito Made Crude Sex Jokes About Dolphins Staffer's Wife, According to Report

    As the NFL investigates the Miami Dolphins bullying scandal, new reports of alleged terrible behavior by Richie Incognito have surfaced. This time, however, the abuse was toward a team staff member. According to Jason Cole of the National Football Post, Incognito and at least one other Dolphins pla ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2013

    At Dolphins Game, Plane Flies Banner Calling for Ireland to Be Fired

    So, apparently, yesterday at the Miami Dolphins game, some fans were so passionate that they decided to enlist an expensive method of getting their message across -- an airplane carrying a banner. As broadcast on Twitter, fans could see this sign: There is a banner flying over #Dolphins stadium ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Miami Dolphins' Mike Pouncey Served With Grand Jury Subpoena in Aaron Hernandez case

    After the Miami Dolphins choked away their game against the New England Patriots on Sunday, center Mike Pouncey, 24, was served with grand jury papers outside the locker room by Massachusetts police. According to Sports Illustrated, the subpoena is related to the investigation into Aaron Hernandez, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Eat and Drink Like a Champion at Cefalo's Legends Suite at Sun Life Stadium

    If you think going to the stadium is all about beer and hot dogs, guess again. As sports fans have gotten more sophisticated and ticket prices have risen, so has cuisine at sports arenas. That means you're as likely to see someone enjoying sushi or a single malt Scotch as you are a Budweiser. And, D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2013

    The 11 Hottest TV Newsmen in South Florida

    Last week, Luther Campbell, AKA Uncle Luke, AKA Miami New Times columnist, exploded the internet with his off-the-cuff list of the ten hottest local female TV newscasters. Lest we be targets of your cries about sexism, please know that we are equal-opportunity objectifiers. Here now is our list of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2013

    Five South Florida Bars Every Patriots Fan Should Visit

    Gillete Stadium is a long way away. Like 1,400 miles away. Like a 22-hour-drive-by-car away. No one has the time or gas money for that. So it's easy to feel left out with all the magic happening over in Foxborough, Massachusetts (especially after their win against the Saints). But it's all right. B ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2013

    Director of Shottas Now Filming a Sequel, Overtown, in Miami With Chad Ochocinco

    Except for Cool Runnings and a few scenes from Blue Lagoon, Jamaica has never had much of a film scene. So when Shottas came out in 2002, it became a cult hit. The film, about two friends who grew up on the hard streets of Kingston and Miami, featured modern reggae stars Ky-mani Marley and Spragga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Bidding to Host Super Bowl in 2018

    Fresh off their defeat in trying to get public funds to renovate their stadium, the Miami Dolphins are planning to throw their hat into the ring and bid for the 2018 Super Bowl. It's that kind of up and attem! attitude that's made this football franchise the perpetual 7-9 denizens of mediocrity for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Mascot Celebrates 26-23 Loss to the Ravens

    The Miami Dolphins' late-game rally on Sunday fell short when kicker Caleb Sturgis' effort waffled wide left, handing the Fins their second consecutive loss, dropping them to 3-2 on the season. It was a bitter loss, leaving that all-too-familiar taste of defeat in Dolphins fans' mouths (tastes like ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Larry Johnson, Former Dolphins Running Back, Is a DJ at Tootsie's Cabaret

    Former Miami Dolphin running back Larry Johnson is now a DJ at Tootsie's. Well, he was a Miami Dolphin for a preseason and really made his name as a Kansas City Chief. But still. The point is, he's now a DJ at Tootsie's, the same place where Aaron Hernandez reportedly hung out before he allegedl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 2, 2013

    This South Florida NFL Fan Club Transforms Any Bar to a Jets Bar

    We are a long way away from MetLife Stadium, but New York transplants don't plan on trading the Jets anytime soon. And if they did, it certainly wouldn't be for the Dolphins -- not after Dan Marino's dirty Fake Spike play in 1994. Over 500 strong, the South Florida Jets Fan Club has called the bar ... More >>

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