AFC East

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Sign Dustin Keller to One-Year Deal

    The Miami Dolphins signed former New York Jet Dustin Keller, a tight end, to a one-year contract Friday afternoon, ESPN's Adam Schefter reports. John Clayon says the contract is worth $4.25 million. While Keller isn't the greatest blocker, he can be an effective weapon as far as doing that thing t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2013

    Your Miami Dolphins Free Agency Update

    The Dolphins apparently went a little drunk-guy-at-the-strip-club and threw money all over the place Tuesday. Particularly, at Steelers receiver Mike Wallace and, surprisingly, at Ravens linebacker Dannell Ellerbe. But Jeff Ireland ain't done.And while the moves seem to reek of a desperate GM tryi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2013

    Vontae Davis Tweets About Sean Smith Possibly Going to the Chiefs, All Hell Breaks Loose

    Former Miami Dolphins cornerback Vontae Davis wanted to tell his 154,955 Twitter followers that current Miami Dolphins cornerback, and current free agent, Sean Smith, has been talking to the Kansas City Chiefs about possibly signing with them. As it turns out, NFL free agency doesn't get kicked off ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2013

    Sun Life Stadium Upgrade Bill Passes First State Senate Committee Unanimously

    The Miami Dolphins are off to a good start as far jumping into the Fleecing Tax Payers Pants Party stadium renovation party goes. Lawmakers in the Florida Senate Commerce Committee gave unanimous support to a bill that would secure taxpayer money to cover half of the planned $400 million upgrades t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    Miami Marlins Hire a New PR Firm To Make Us Forget The Horrible Things They've Done

    Maybe it was the fact that the team fooled Miami-Dade into building them a ballpark, and now the county is billions of dollars in the hole. Maybe it was the fact that they swore they wanted to contend while trading away their best players. Maybe it was that ridiculous rainbow vomit colored new log ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 14, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Want $400 Million to Renovate Stadium but Swear They're Totally Not the Marlins

    Remember when the Florida Marlins were all, if y'all don't give us millions and millions, we're just gonna go ahead and take our ballclub somewhere else, and the City of Miami was all, nooooo here ya go! and then threw millions and millions at the Marlins and now taxpayers are stuck paying for a $51 ... More >>

  • News

    December 27, 2012
  • Blogs

    December 27, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Logo: 15 New Choices

    The internet nearly stopped existing yesterday when sports blog Deadspin revealed what could possibly be the new Miami Dolphins team logo. Deadspin credited fan site DolfansNYC for leaking the possible logo, and Dolphins fans everywhere chimed in. Mostly, they hated it. And, if the leak is indeed t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2012

    Dolphins Crush Jaguars 24-3, Still Not Going to the Playoffs

    It's always nice to walk away from watching a Dolphins game and not feel like you just fell down and punctured your scrotum with your car keys. Sunday's game against the visiting Jacksonville Jaguars was such a day. Ryan Tannehill put together the best QB rating at 123.2, and completion percentage ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2012

    Dolphins Lose to 49ers 27-13, Suffer Fourth-Straight Season of At Least Eight Losses

    Oh, hey. Look at that. The Dolphins lost again. At this point the inevitability of the Dolphins getting their asses pounded week in and week out, year in year out, should be old hat. These are, after all, the Miami Dolphins. And as the San Francisco 49ers punted the Fins' collective dicks to the t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2012

    Dolphins Fall to Patriots 23-16, Their Quest For a Fourth Straight Season of Nine Losses Draws Ever Closer

    Just weeks before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to pull another big win out of their collective asses to inch closer to an improbable post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 23-16 loss to the New England Patriots. There's plenty of bl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2012

    The Five Greatest Games in Dolphins-Patriots History

    The Dolphins and Patriots face off this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium for the first time this season. And even though New England is a heavy favorite, history has proven that this matchup can go in any direction. This isn't the most heated rivalry in the AFC East (both teams have much more serious bee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Dolphins Get Roughed Up by Titans, 37-3

    The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2012

    Dolphins Versus Titans: Keys to the Game

    The Dolphins are back home this Sunday to take on the Tennessee Titans at Sun Life Stadium. This is a good thing because, as it stands, the Dolphins are a pretty mediocre football team while the Titans are quite crappy. But can Miami overcome its recent bout of The Suck and bounce back to playoff ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2012

    Andrew Luck Crushes Dolphins Defense, Colts Win 23-20

    Remember all the hoopla surrounding the "Suck For Luck" campaign last year? Yea, there was a reason for that. The Colts' Andrew Luck decimated the Dolphins defense, leading Indianapolis to the 23-20 victory over Miami on Sunday. Luck went 30-of-48, and set a rookie record by surgically removing t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2012

    Dolphins Demolish Jets, Lose Tannehill to Injury

    Rex Ryan wanted his New York Jets to put hot sauce on Reggie Bush. He then demanded an apology from Bush when Reggie dared talk back. LaRon Landry then told the media that Reggie would remember the hit he took in Week 3, saying, "I'm not going to stop hitting or headhunting. I'm not going to stop th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2012

    Miami Dolphins at New York Jets Preview

    The last time the Dolphins met the Jets, in Week 3, Reggie Bush had to leave the game with a knee injury, Derrelle Revis tore his ACL, Ryan Tannehill threw a back-breaking pick-6, and Dan Carpenter forgot how to kick field goals. The Jets won in OT 23-20. Since then, the two teams have engaged in a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2012

    Dolphins and Jets Players Getting Into War of Words

    The Miami Dolphins and New York Jets have apparently gotten into a war of words in the past couple of days.  It all started on Wednesday, when Jets Coach Rex Ryan declared his anger toward Reggie Bush after the running back made some comments following their first game a few weeks back. Prior ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2012

    Dolphins Defeat Rams 17-14, Are Now Tied For First Place In Their Division

    The Dolphins are 3-3 and locked into a four-way tie with the rest of the AFC East. Which means either the Dolphins are good again, or the AFC East really, really sucks. Either way. While 3-3 is as mediocre as it gets in the NFL, it's still a vast improvement from the dog shit canon that used to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2012

    Jeff Ireland Parody Song Reminds Us That Jeff Ireland Still Stinks

    The Dolphins might have won Sunday, and it looks like their quarterback situation might have been solved. But one fact remains unchanged: Jeff Ireland still sucks as a general manager. And now the the undaunted geniuses at #WAARF (via, have come up with yet another parody s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Take Down the Bengals on the Road

    The Miami Dolphins took down the Bengals 17-13 yesterday, and for a change, Fins fans are able to wake up on a Monday morning and not have that feeling like someone swung a sledgehammer to their crotch. The Dolphins pretty much followed the five steps to victory we wrote about on Friday (it's as i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2012

    Miami Dolphins at Cincinnati Bengals Preview

    Your 1-3 Miami Dolphins and their 30th ranked pass defense head into Cincinnati this Sunday to take on Andy Dalton and his 103.0 quarterback rating. Meanwhile, cornerback Richard Marshall won't be playing thanks to a bad back. But don't fret Dolphins fans! He will be replaced with the Human Penalty ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2012

    Ryan Tannehill Sets Rookie Record, Dolphins Still Lose

    Ryan Tannehill threw for 431 yards. Brian Hartline caught 12 passes for 253 yards. Cameron Wake registered four sacks. And yet the Miami Dolphins still found a way to dip their balls in the soft serve ice cream machine and lose to the Arizona Cardinals 24-21 in overtime. It was the Fins' second c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2012

    Miami Dolphins at Arizona Cardinals Preview

    Remember when the 2012 NFL schedule was released and everybody saw Arizona on it and were all, LOLOLOL we're so gonna win that game? So much for that. The Cardinals are currently one of two undefeated teams at 3-0, in first place in their division, and a solid home team. They also have Larry Fitzg ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2012

    Karlos Dansby Says the 2012 Dolphins Have More Talent Than the 2008 Super Bowl Cardinals

    The 1-2 Miami Dolphins are in Arizona this weekend to face the 3-0 first-place Cardinals. During midweek interviews with the media, Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby, who was a member of the Cardinals 2008 Super Bowl team, told Arizona reporters that this current Dolphins team has more talent than ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2012

    Dolphins Fall in OT to the Jets

    The Miami Dolphins lost because they can no longer do the one thing this team was always only capable of doing -- kick field goals. And so the New York Jets came to town, managed to play like a sack of crap, and still pulled out the 23-20 victory, because our kicker forgot how to kick field goals, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2012

    Miami Dolphins vs. New York Jets Preview

    The New York Jets head into town this weekend for TonySparanoRevengeTour2012. Both teams come into the week at 1-1 in a four-way tie between all teams in the AFC East which very much means that the winner of this game could potentially be in in first place heading into Week 4. Both the Jets and Dol ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Perfect Season Was 40 Years Ago; Shula's Steakhouse Celebrates with $17 "No-Name" Cocktail

    The year was 1972. Head Coach Don Shula led the Miami Dolphins to their perfect season. It's been 40 years and no team has done it since. Sure the Dolphins have had some missteps; President Obama even had to make a jab about their not-so stellar record. But loyal fans are still commemorating th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2012

    Dolphins Get Batted Down by Texans 30-10

    Well, that went exactly as one would have expected things to go. The Miami Dolphins headed into Houston for Sunday's opening game of the 2012 NFL season and promptly got their assholes blown apart by the Texans in a 30-10 beatdown. The encouraging thing was that rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Preview: Innovators of Suck

    Your Miami Dolphins are set to kickoff the 2012 season this Sunday at Houston (a team, incidentally, they have never beaten ever in the entire existence of American tackle football history). If you haven't noticed, we're living in the golden age of pass-first football. Passing records are falling b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2012

    Hard Knocks Season Finale: The Tannehills Make a Table!

    Last night was the season finale of Hard Knocks, which means it's all downhill for the Miami Dolphins from here on out. As far as season finales go, this one was a weird amalgam of boring, sad, and -- for some inexplicable reason -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. With the first four episodes featuring ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2012

    Dolphins Finish Winless in Preseason

    In what is the least shocking news ever, the Miami Dolphins headed into Dallas yesterday and proceeded to get blasted in the face by a bazooka at the hands of the Cowboys to the tune of 30-13.So now the 2012 Dolphins join the 1966 and 1989 teams that went winless in the preseason. And if you look it ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2012

    Dolphins Jet Hits Another Plane on Dallas Airport Tarmac

    This friggin' team. In what is possibly the greatest metaphor ever produced by the fates, the Miami Dolphins charter plane apparently clipped another parked plane as it was backing out during takeoff. The incident happened at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport last night as the team prepared ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2012

    Jason Taylor Will Join the Dan LeBatard Show Starting Next Week

    Well now, here's some decent Miami Dolphins news. Lincoln Financial Media's 790 The Ticket, announced today that former Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor will be joining the Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz starting next week. The six-time pro bowler and the 2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2012

    Jake Long Is Fine; Dolphins Still Suck

    Yesterday during Dolphins practice, left tackle Jake Long (aka "THE WARHAMMER") went down like a sack of hammers, continuing his yearly trend of getting injured just before the last game of the preseason. Long injured his right knee, and for a while there, the Dolphins feared he had d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Open Preseason Against Bucs: Five Things To Look For

    Your Miami Dolphins open their 2012 season tonight when they host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a pre-season matchup FUCK YEA. It's a whole new start (again!) for the Dolphins, as they unveil a new coaching regime (again!), a offensive scheme (again!), a new defensive scheme (again!) an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2012

    Dolphins Rookie Ryan Tannehill Still a No-Show at Camp

    Your Miami Dolphins hit the practice field today for the opening of training camp for a whole new season of suck. Thus far, Matt Moore (aka THE PUPPET) has taken the first-team reps, while David Garrard is leading the second stringers.Conspicuously absent from the proceedings is first-round pick QB ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2012

    Chad Ochocinco Signs With Miami Dolphins; Team Already Has a Number 85 (Update: He's Got It)

    Update: The team tweeted this morning that Ochocinco has been given number 85; I missed it. No word yet on whether he did anything to get it.The Dolphins confirmed yesterday that they'd signed wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, whom you may recognize from his role last year as Tom Brady's last resort. Oc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2012

    Strikers Soccer Team Pairs With Food Trucks for Home Games

    The Fort Lauderdale Strikers soccer team has scored a partnership with five food trucks to offer eats this season. Arepabox, B.C. Tacos, Che Grill, Dog Eat Dog, and Dolci Peccati Gelato will park at every home game in the northwest corner of Lockhart Stadium from 5 p.m. until kickoff at 7:30 p. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2012

    Russell's Blue Water Grill Super Bowl Battle: New England Versus New York

    ​Who's it gonna be -- New England, with its creamy chowders, lobster rolls, and clam bakes? Or New York, home to hot dogs, pizza, and wings?Oh, sorry. You thought we were talking about the Patriots and the Giants?  We're looking forward to the game, sure, but we gotta admit, it's all about th ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 29, 2011
  • Calendar

    December 29, 2011
  • Blogs

    December 24, 2011

    Amar'e Stoudemire Now Part of What's Likely the Most Athletic Neighborhood in Broward

    shortshortsweakprose.comAmar'e Stoudemire​New York Knicks forward Amar'e Stoudemire bought a new house in Southwest Ranches, which made headlines a few weeks ago largely due to the fact that his new pad is enormous and expensive -- $3.7 million for 14,555 square feet.Is it obnoxiously large wi ... More >>

  • News

    December 22, 2011
  • Calendar

    November 17, 2011
  • Calendar

    October 20, 2011
  • Blogs

    October 18, 2011

    Miami Dolphins or FAU Owls: Who Will Win a Game First (or at All)?

    Dad, what's the "postseason"?​Florida is a death trap for football this year -- there are no college football teams in the state in the Associated Press' Top 25 poll for the first time in almost 30 years, and the three NFL teams have a combined record of 5-12.Two of those teams, the Florida Atlant ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 8, 2011
  • Calendar

    September 1, 2011
  • More >>