AFC South

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2014

    Seven Reasons Detroit Lions Fans Are the Worst

    The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and listing reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and matchups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't. Not us. Not here. Instead, w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2014

    Defense and a Suicidal Pigeon Help Dolphins Take Down Jaguars

    The Miami Dolphins did something rare on Sunday. They won a second-consecutive game. That's two wins in a row! It was as if we had almost forgotten you can do that. But the Dolphins did and now stand at 4-3 on the season and well on their way to winning the AFC East JUST AS WE PREDICTED. A dominant ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2014

    Nine Reasons Jacksonville Jaguars Fans Are the Worst

    The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't. Not us. Not here. Instead, we'r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2014

    Ten Reasons the Dolphins Will Win the AFC East

    We sling a lot of poop at the Miami Dolphins around these parts. And for good reason. They suck. They tend to stuff all our Sundays, loyalties, and hope into a cannon and fire it into an active volcano like Xenu. But screw that. We're going to forge ahead and -- perhaps against all sense and reaso ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    The Miami Dolphins Must Win Sunday, Or It's All Over

    The Dolphins season is at a breaking point, and a loss Sunday would be the final karate-chop that shatters it into a million aqua pieces. Coming off a complete stinker of a blowout loss to the totally beatable Kansas City Chiefs at home last week, Sunday's game in London against the Oakland Raiders ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2014

    Lawsuit Against DEP over Fracking in Everglades Dropped by Collier County

    Environmentalists took one on the chin Tuesday when Collier County officials voted to drop a lawsuit they'd filed against the Department of Environmental Protection over the state's policing of fracking by Texas oil prospectors in the Great Cypress Swamp watershed. See also: - Frack No More: Activi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 29, 2014

    Jonathan Martin Says He Felt Trapped with Dolphins

    Miami Dolphins offensive lineman Jonathan Martin sat down with former Colts head coach Tony Dungy to give his first interview since the alleged bullying scandal that shook the Fins' season. In the interview, which is set to air Wednesday night on NBCSN, Martin tells Dungy that he felt trapped durin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    Rick Scott Has Raised $18.5 Million for Reelection Campaign

    Just because you hate Rick Scott, that doesn't automatically mean he won't win reelection next year. (And we can, at this point, agree, that most of you hate him.) Let's break down how and why: 1. This is Florida. 2. He Has Really, Really, Ridiculously Filthy-Rich Friends. 3. But, mostly, He Has ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Not Invited to Bid For Super Bowl

    Earlier today, we told you about how the Miami Dolphins were going to throw their hat in the ring to bid for Super Bowl 52 in 2018. Well, not so much anymore. It looks like the NFL has officially not invited the Dolphins to bid to host the big game, handing the team their third-straight loss in ho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Dolphins Beat the Colts: Ten Thoughts on Going 2-0

    The Miami Dolphins went into Indianapolis and defeated the Colts 24-20 on Sunday. The Fins have started the season 2-0, and on the road, no less. This is something they haven't done since 2010, when they started that season by winning at Buffalo and then Minnesota. Sure, they inevitably ended tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2013

    The 17 Worst Things To Happen To the Miami Dolphins

    The Miami Dolphins just recently lost their big-time free agent acquisition, tight end, Dustin Keller, to a horrific injury that tore the ACL, PCL, and MCL in his left knee. It's just the latest in many horrific blows that have nut-punched this team for over a decade. Some would say the team is cu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2013

    Dustin Keller to Miss Entire 2013 Season With Knee Injury

    The Injury Gods dropped the hammer on the Miami Dolphins with the news that big-time free agent tight end acquisition Dustin Keller will miss the entire 2013 season with a knee injury. Keller suffered the injury during Miami's Saturday night's preseason matchup against the Houston Texans. Keller ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2013

    Five Reasons the Miami Dolphins Won't Suck Against the Jaguars Tonight

    The Miami Dolphins head into EverBank Field in Jacksonville tonight to take on the Jaguars for their second pre-season hoedown of 2013. Last week, against the Cowboys, the Fins looked as bad as a team that calls itself a professional football team could look. And while we know watching this team i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 4, 2013

    The Anti-Immigration Group Targeting Marco Rubio Doesn't Want to Talk to New Times, or Any Other "Liberal Opinion Media"

    Right now Washington D.C. is buzzing about the immigration bill, legislation that could radically change the country's stance on who's in and who's out. The one guy who seems to have put all his political chips on the passage of the legislation is Senator Marco Rubio. And because Rubio is essentiall ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2013

    Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk Gets Into Twitter Beef With Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot

    Mike Florio, who runs the NFL website Pro Football Talk, got into some Twitter beef with the Jacksonville Jaguars mascot, Jaxson de Ville, on Wednesday night. We were hoping this was a case of an NFL "writer" having some good clean fun with a cartoon character to entertain their respective follower ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Finish 7-9 Yet Again; Somehow Jeff Ireland Is Still Employed

    In case you missed it, the Miami Dolphins got thoroughly pulverized with a sock full of pennies by the New England Patriots yesterday to the tune of 28-0, mercifully bringing the 2012 campaign to an end and ensuring yet another 7-9 season. Yet, on Black Monday -- the Monday following the regular se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2012

    Dolphins Crush Jaguars 24-3, Still Not Going to the Playoffs

    It's always nice to walk away from watching a Dolphins game and not feel like you just fell down and punctured your scrotum with your car keys. Sunday's game against the visiting Jacksonville Jaguars was such a day. Ryan Tannehill put together the best QB rating at 123.2, and completion percentage ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Dolphins Get Roughed Up by Titans, 37-3

    The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2012

    Dolphins Versus Titans: Keys to the Game

    The Dolphins are back home this Sunday to take on the Tennessee Titans at Sun Life Stadium. This is a good thing because, as it stands, the Dolphins are a pretty mediocre football team while the Titans are quite crappy. But can Miami overcome its recent bout of The Suck and bounce back to playoff ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2012

    Andrew Luck Crushes Dolphins Defense, Colts Win 23-20

    Remember all the hoopla surrounding the "Suck For Luck" campaign last year? Yea, there was a reason for that. The Colts' Andrew Luck decimated the Dolphins defense, leading Indianapolis to the 23-20 victory over Miami on Sunday. Luck went 30-of-48, and set a rookie record by surgically removing t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 13, 2012
  • Blogs

    September 12, 2012

    Dolphins' Daniel Thomas Passes Concussion Test, Still Won't Play Sunday

    Dolphins running back Daniel Thomas was bonked on the head during 30-10 loss against the Houston Texans last Sunday. He left the game with an apparent concussion and didn't return. But according to Orlando Alzugary of 640 Sports, Thomas passed his concussion test. However, according to Alzugary's s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2012

    Dolphins Get Batted Down by Texans 30-10

    Well, that went exactly as one would have expected things to go. The Miami Dolphins headed into Houston for Sunday's opening game of the 2012 NFL season and promptly got their assholes blown apart by the Texans in a 30-10 beatdown. The encouraging thing was that rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    Vontae Davis Traded to the Colts

    The Miami Dolphins traded former first-round pick and cornerback Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for two 2013 draft picks yesterday. That's right. Jeff Ireland just got a second-round pick and sixth-round pick for a guy he decided to draft over Clay Matthews, Hakeem Nicks, Kenny Britt, Patri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2012

    Miami Dolphins vs. Atlanta Falcons: Five Things To Look For

    With two pre-season games left to play, the Dolphins still have a lot of unanswered questions lingering like a drunk old man who won't leave the bar. Ryan Tannehill wonders who he'll be throwing to. Joe Philbin wonders if any of the bubble players will step up and earn a job. Jeff Ireland wonders i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2012

    Morning Juice: Trayvon Martin 911 Tapes, Moving on From Peyton Manning, and A

    ​A quick review of the news you may have missed:--The "very suspicious" files: Authorities have released the 911 tapes associated with the February killing of Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old Martin County boy who was shot by neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman. A highlight of the tapes, in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2012

    The Other Potential Dolphins Quarterback: What Happens if Peyton Manning Doesn't Pick Florida?

    ​Who the hell knows where former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is going to end up. With sports reporters wildly repeating whatever their perpetually unnamed sources are telling them, we've heard the Miami Dolphins' hopes of landing the star are "losing steam," that it's a two-horse race between ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2012

    Morning Juice: "Little Chocolate Boy," Murder for Hire, and Peyton Manning

    ​A sampling of the weekend news you might have missed:Give it time?: While overcrowded schools in western Broward are bursting at the seams, there are 26,000 empty seats farther east -- and Superintendent Robert Runcie is doing almost nothing to alleviate the issues for the coming school year ... More >>

  • News

    February 2, 2012
  • Blogs

    December 24, 2011

    Amar'e Stoudemire Now Part of What's Likely the Most Athletic Neighborhood in Broward

    shortshortsweakprose.comAmar'e Stoudemire​New York Knicks forward Amar'e Stoudemire bought a new house in Southwest Ranches, which made headlines a few weeks ago largely due to the fact that his new pad is enormous and expensive -- $3.7 million for 14,555 square feet.Is it obnoxiously large wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Allen West: The Indianapolis Colts Are 0-12 Because Life Isn't Fair​Rep. Allen West is still talking about President Obama's speech in Kansas last week, this time explaining that reputable institutions such as the NFL are based on the "American principle of equal opportunity," not the president's idea of "fairness."Apparently, if Obama were the NFL ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2011

    Sheriff: Son Didn't See The Super Bowl Game

    Broward Sheriff Al Lamberti addressed the Super Bowl issue, telling the Sun-Sentinel (you know who) that his son accompanied him to the big game but that he was working and neither saw the game, except on TV, and they spent almost the entire game outside the stadium overseeing BSO security ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 16, 2010

    Could Anonka Dixon Be the First Female Player in the NFL--and the Answer to the Dolphins' QB Woes?

    C. StilesAnonka Dixon before last year's LFL playoffs.​The Miami Dolphins are desperate right now. Less than a week after benching Chad Henne in favor of Chad Pennington, the team may have lost both players for the remainder of the season. Third-stringer Tyler Thigpen finished Sunday's win against ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 11, 2010
  • Blogs

    April 9, 2010

    Top Five Foodies to Follow on Twitter

    In the world of instant gratification, Twitter provides us with more quick and up-to-date information than we can actually swallow. With more than 50 million tweets per day, keeping up with the traffic has proven to be difficult. Since it's next to impossible to follow every foodie in the Twitterve ... More >>

  • Calendar

    February 4, 2010
  • Calendar

    February 4, 2010
  • Calendar

    December 24, 2009
  • Calendar

    August 13, 2009
  • Blogs

    January 30, 2009

    Locals You Can Cheer (or Jeer) at the Super Bowl

    Yeah, all the Florida football teams are done for the year, and when you watch the big game this weekend you'll probably care more about the commercials than either team (unless you're a gambler, like me, and the commercials just delay the inevitable sobbing and cursing and swearing never to bet on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2009

    The Pro Bowl Blows

    I wish I could say that today's appointment of Kerry Collins as Brett Favre's replacement in the NFL Pro Bowl was the fatal blow to this game's credibility. But that credibility left long ago. So let's just call this a signal that the powers that be don't believe that Chad Pennington isn't even in t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 4, 2007
  • Calendar

    September 6, 2007
  • Calendar

    August 23, 2007
  • Blogs

    August 13, 2007

    Same Old Mr. Hyde

    I was just thinking the other day that Dave Hyde hadn't seemed to have written anything monumentally soppy or boneheaded in a good long while. Was he getting better or did I just not give a damn anymore? I didn't know until now, the beginning of the football preseason. He's still the same old Hy ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 9, 2007

    Swimming For Shore

    A 2007 Dolphin's offseason retrospective.

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2007

    Oops, I Did It Again

    The Super Bowl just ended and, unfortunately, my losing streak continues (and I'm poorer for it, in the most literal sense of the term). Yes, Rex Grossman was awful. Yes, Peyton Manning played a good game. But don't put the win or loss solely on either one of their heads. The MVP was really the Colt ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2007

    Shula Picks Colts

    Dave Barry is a millionaire who writes best-selling books and has Hollywood up his ass. Does he really want to write this daily dreck any more? And do we want to read it? I revere the guy and consider him the greatest humorist of his generation, but the newspaper gig is tired. It reminds me of those ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2006

    Sinking Saban

    The Dolphins blew it yesterday, or I should say the Dolphins' offense blew it. Had Miami beaten Jacksonville, they'd have been in the thick of the playoff race, believe it or not. And even though Jax QB David Garrard was sensational, the D held them pretty well. Naw, it was Joey Harrington, O-coordi ... More >>

  • Dining

    December 23, 1999

    Belly Up to the Barbecue

    Texas State of Mind BBQ

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