Aquatic Mammals

Seismic Airgun Testing Will Kill or Injure 138,500 Whales and Dolphins If Allowed

If companies are allowed to use seismic airgun testing to search for and study oil and gas deposits in the Atlantic Ocean, 138,500 whales and dolphins will be harmed or killed -- and that's according to the government's own estimate. In addition, thousands of animals could have their hearing impaire ... More >>

Manatee Death Toll Has Already Surpassed 2012 Numbers

Manatees have been dying at a record pace in Florida this year, threatening their overall population. in just the first three months of 2013 alone, the number of sea cow deaths have already surpassed all of 2012. See also: -Manatees Dying Off Both Florida Coasts; Scientists Trying to Figure Ou ... More >>

Manatees Dying Off Both Florida Coasts; Scientists Trying to Figure Out Why

Scientists have been working diligently to figure why manatees have started to die at an alarming rate lately. While Red Tide -- which is basically blooms of poisonous algae called Karenia brevis that is deadly to fish and other sea life -- off the coast of southwest Florida has killed roughly 180 ... More >>

Stranded Pygmy Whales Euthanized

And now for your bimonthly dose of bummer whale news: On Sunday, a whale and her calf had beached themselves at Jensen Beach, just north of Waveland Beach in St. Lucie County. Beachgoers spotted the whales in the water shortly before they beached themselves. The pair were identified as pygmy sper ... More >>

Alleged Manatee Molester Cuddles With Animal, Lets Kids Ride It

Last October we told you about Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez, the Pinellas County woman who was arrested for hopping on top of a manatee and riding it like it was a horse. See also: -Accused Manatee Molester Is on the Loose in St. Petersburg -Manatee Molester Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez Arrested ... More >>

Hundreds of Manatees Find Refuge From the Cold Near FPL Plant

Merry Christmas, South Florida! It's 304 manatees! The recent cold snap forced hundreds of the sea cows to the FPL plant located east of State Road 7 right off Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. The herd sought refuge from the suddenly chilly weather in the plant's discharge of war ... More >>

Sperm Whale Riders Being Sought by Feds

On Monday, we told you about the 40-foot sperm whale that washed ashore in Deerfield Beach. Turns out, a couple of dudes were jumping on top of and riding the whale as it died off the shore of Pompano Beach. And now a federal investigation has been launched to find the unidentified men. Snapsho ... More >>

Giant Sperm Whales And Other Weird Things Washed Ashore: 8-Foot Lego Men, Giant Eye Balls, And More!

Weird? Yes. But there's been weirder. A few days ago, the carcass of a 40-foot sperm whale -- open-mouthed and oozing -- beached along Deerfield Beach's shore, and the locals got all huffy and melodramatic over the remnants of this mammoth oceanic creature. Some local conservationists wanted to k ... More >>

Dead Sperm Whale Washes Up On Deerfield Beach UPDATED

A 40-foot sperm whale that died as it swam near the shore in Pompano Beach, has washed ashore at the International Fishing Pier in Deerfield Beach. Deerfield Beach lifeguards roped the whale carcass so the animal can be allowed to slowly drift away from the fishing pier towards the shore where yell ... More >>

Five of SeaWorld's Sordid Scandals: Whale Slaves, a "Surgically Opened" Scrotum, and More!

Yesterday we told you about Jillian Thomas, the 8-year-old girl who was feeding dolphins at SeaWorld when one of the animals bit her arm. Don't worry; she was left with three dime-sized puncture wounds and an unbelievably cool anecdote for the rest of her life. While a dolphin biting an 8-year- ... More >>

PETA Wants the Feds to Investigate SeaWorld Dolphin Bite Incident

It was only a matter of time before PETA got involved with SeaWorld Dolphin Bites Little Girl Gate. Eight-year-old Jillian Thomas was bitten in the hand by a dolphin she was feeding at the theme park over the weekend. The attack left several dime-shaped punctures in her hand. See also: - Dolphin ... More >>

Dolphin Bites Girl in SeaWorld

An eight year-old girl was happily feeding dolphins at SeaWorld's Dolphin Cove when one of them lunged from out of the water and bit her hand. Jillian Thomas, who was visiting the SeaWorld Orlando park with her parents from Georgia, was lined up with other children, feeding the dolphins from a food ... More >>

Manatee Molester Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez's Family Doesn't Understand What All the Fuss Is About

The family of Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez, the 53-year-old St. Petersburg woman arrested for molesting a manatee, is none too fired up about cops arresting her after she committed a crime. Police arrested Gutierrez at her job in a St. Petersburg Sears over the weekend on a warrant for violating ... More >>

Manatee Molester Turns Herself In to Authorities

Yesterday we told you about a lady who tried dry-humping riding a manatee like a horse and then disappeared into the ether. Pinellas County Sheriff's deputies were not amused and announced that they were on the lookout for the manatee molester. "Go ride a Jet-Ski. Don't use animals. She needs to b ... More >>

Accused Manatee Molester Is On the Loose In St. Petersburg

Pinellas County Sheriff's deputies are asking the public to help them catch an accused manatee molester. An unidentified woman is wanted for violating the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, which states that it is illegal for people to "intentionally or negligently" attempt to "molest, harass, or distu ... More >>

Another Boat From Bahamas Caught Smuggling Humans and Drugs Into Broward

See also "Bahamian Men Sink Boat While Smuggling Six People Into Florida, Including A Drug Dealer"Speeding through a manatee zone is no joke, especially if your boat is stuffed with weed and illegal aliens. At the end of August, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission stoppe ... More >>

If Manatees can Hear Boats, Why Don't They Move When One's Coming?

Last week, Sea World took in an approximately 1,700 pound manatee that had been bashed up by a speeding boat. It's the seventh sea cow taken in by the facility this year alone, and regulations to stop boats from hitting the sweet morons have been debated, sort of.A new study suggests, however, that ... More >>

Eating Whales and Horses In Iceland

​Two summers ago I accompanied my friend James "The Amazing" Randi on a speaking tour of northern Europe. We visited Scandinavia and the Baltics, and enjoyed a quick southerly jaunt to the Netherlands. Our final engagement was in Reykjavik, Iceland, in the middle of the Atlantic.Reykjavik is a mod ... More >>

Reminder From Broward County: Don't Mow Over Sea Cows

snuzzy.comDon't run over manatees with your spaceship either.​Due to new rules from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission and the impending manatee season in Broward County, the Natural Resources Planning and Management Division would like to remind you not to slice up sea cows wit ... More >>

Tea Party Hates Manatees, Says Protecting Them Is "Against the Bible"

gatewaypundit.comManatees: Work of the devil.​Jesus apparently hated manatees, according to a new Tea Party platform circulating around Florida.Originating from the Citrus County Tea Party Patriots group, teabaggers are crying about the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service's intent to place restrictions ... More >>

America's Best Beach Bars

​Travel Leisure magazine made an atrocious error in its article and slide show about "America's Best Beach Bars." It left out all the great South Florida beach bars. As we scrolled through the list of bars that either reside directly on the sand or very close to it, we were shocked by the lack ... More >>

Things You Shouldn't Eat: Sperm Whale, Sea Turtle Eggs, Out-of-Season Alligator

​​If your neighbor invites you over for a slice of barbecued sperm whale, don't start planning the sides you'll bring. There's a decent chance your meal could land you in the clink.As several locals have discovered recently, tampering with protected wildlife can cost you. It all began earlier th ... More >>

Florida Otters May Look Cute, but Lately They've Been on the Attack

​Florida's otters are up to no good.First, in March, a 90-year-old man in Venice, Florida, was brutally mauled by a rabid otter, which came streaking from the bushes of an otherwise peaceful street like a cute, button-nosed demon. The otter went for the man's foot and brought him crashing to the g ... More >>

Delray Man Chops Tail Off Beached Sperm Whale; Can You Eat That?

Photo: MicheleEve.comHogan tried to make off with this trophy from the whale that washed up in Delray Beach.​There are many fine restaurants in Delray Beach, but it seems one resident, Chris Hogan, prefers to see what the ocean surf is serving. This morning, it delivered an eight-foot sperm whale. ... More >>

Morning Juice: Dog Days, Dog Nights; Stick-Up Note F-Ups; Witness Removal Program

​We've felt some of the hottest temperatures of the year during this past week -- some pure meteorological brutality. Conversely, we've been rewarded (punished?) with some of the coldest air conditioning imaginable. Lucky for us, the local dailies keep dishing plenty of entertaining stories, most ... More >>

Hello, Dalai

Manatees to Pythons: A Rough Weekend For Local Wildlife

Baby, it's cold outside.​Iguanas falling from the sky.Pythons slithering from the swamps and into suburban yards in search of warmth. It would make a great horror movie if it weren't true life. It's been so frigid in South Florida this week that 250 sea turtles in cold shock have already been pick ... More >>

Dolphin Experts Weigh In; Any Gorilla-Killers in Lake Worth Mayoral Race?

Dr. Rene Varela​ The local community of marine mammal experts is a relatively small one, so the Juice has been asking some high-level folks in the scientific community to weigh in on the recent controversy surrounding veterinarian Dr. Rene Varela, candidate for mayor of Lake Worth. One expert, wh ... More >>

Life is Better Down Where It's Wetter

Let Them Eat Punk!

Conspicuous Consumption

Bling in your New Year at Paradiso