Bradford Schmidt

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Blogs
July 17, 2009
The Meatist Measures Up Supermarket Weenies
Photo by Flickr user Jay B SaucedaMy mother's storied Jeannie's Weenie Supremies guaranteed the hot dog a permanent place of honor in our fridge when I was growing up. The Supremies consisted of a hot dog, split and stuffed with cheddar cheese and wrapped in bacon. My father also had an unnatural lo ... More >>
Blogs
July 24, 2009
Skip the Smoker; Pulled Pork Just takes Patience -- and Red Stripe
Photo by Flickr user Another Pint Please... As a young man, the subtleties of pulled pork were lost on me. Technique, patience, care: pointless wastes of time to my still immature, I-want-it-fast mind. "Grab the pork," I thought, "and pull it. It's not rocket science."With maturity, though, cam ... More >>
Blogs
August 7, 2009
Putting a Chef Through Misery for One Great Meatloaf
Photo by Flickr user mooshee85My sister had a business partner in her restaurant for a number of years, who, to protect his identity, I'll call him Tattoo. He was a vegetarian -- I know, I know, but you can't argue with crazy. Tattoo didn't just avoid eating meat, he was grossed out by it. Not ... More >>
Blogs
August 14, 2009
Mmm, Bacon. And More Bacon. Seriously, A Whole Bacon Taste Test.
Photo by Flickr user fotophriendlyBacon. Say it with me now: "bacon." Feel happy? Hungry? Of course you do. Because really, what's better than bacon? It brings salt to the savory, crunch to the flaccid, "B" to the "L" and the "T." Could you ask more of anything? I think not. And yet, bacon has ... More >>
Blogs
August 28, 2009
The Meatist Gets Funky With Aged Beef
Photo by flickr user aliciazs.Have you ever had one of those moments when you look in your fridge and see that beauty of a steak that you bought a few days ago and forgot about, and it looks a little... funny? And you think, "Well, maybe it will smell all right," but you know in your gut that it ... More >>
Blogs
September 11, 2009
It's Football Season, So Time for Full-Contact Chili
Photo by Flickr user rickoMeat isn't always about the gourmet, you know. I mean, dry-aged prime steaks, grilled perfectly and served with a hearty beverage of your choice may be as close to a perfect way to spend some quality eating-time as I can think of, but it's not the only way to achieve the ... More >>
Blogs
October 2, 2009
Shepherd's Pie: Meaty Perfection in a Pan, or, Proof that the English Really Can Cook
Photo by Flickr user mitchenallFor a time, when I was a lad growing up in New York, I went to an obnoxiously upscale grade school called St. Bernard's (pronounced with Connecticut lockjaw of course, as in BERnerd's, not BerNARD'S). I still have a copy of the school's Christmas card from when I wa ... More >>
Blogs
October 9, 2009
A Love Story With Bologna Sandwiches
Photo by Flickr user dtredinnick13There's an episode of Pee-wee's Playhouse in which Pee-wee is talking about how much he loves fruit salad, and Miss Yvonne says that if he loves it so much, maybe he should marry it. So he does. Now, I like a guy with the courage of his convictions, but for me, w ... More >>
Blogs
October 16, 2009
Don't Hate on the Ham
Photo by Flickr user ScandblueWhen I was growing up, ham and I had a difference of opinion. Upon arriving at a holiday soiree at which the main course was ham, I'd fantasize about taking it outside, blindfolding it, stepping back 25 paces or so, and letting loose with an AR-15 rifle on the big pi ... More >>
Blogs
October 23, 2009
Butts and Cubes? Yeah, Those are Some Good, Cheap Meats
Photo by Flickr user Maddog 20/20Cube steak: Tasty, yes, but cover it in something.Just because it's spendy doesn't make it good, as the series of "Mummy" movies keeps hammering home again and again. But the reverse is true as well: it doesn't have to cost a ton of money to not suck. Witness the ... More >>
Blogs
October 30, 2009
Chicken Fried Steak: Maybe Better Than Your First Kiss
Photo by Flickr user KB35Alex had dropped his menu and was staring at me. I was 17 or 18, visiting Texas for the first time, and we were out grabbing a bite to eat. With the exception of a few family vacations, I'd thus far spent my entire life in the northeast; I grew up in New York City, went t ... More >>
Blogs
November 6, 2009
Even Fast-Food Giants Know: It's Not Hard to Make an Awesome Wing
Photo by Flickr user sokolokophotoI hate chain restaurants, and they seem to be multiplying. Every time I turn around, there's another squatting smugly across the parking lot from Best Buy or snuggled into the corner of a mall, waiting for trans-fat-hungry customers to order some sort of deep-fri ... More >>
Blogs
November 13, 2009
Five Steps to a Perfect Turkey -- Good for Eating and Throwing
Photo by Flickr user KS GirlDead turkeys are aerodynamic disasters. I chose to prove this many Thanksgivings ago by hurling one at my sister as she ran screaming down the stairs from my Brooklyn apartment after a fight. It was cooked, it was in a broiling pan, and I was unable to get a clean hit ... More >>
Blogs
November 20, 2009
Wake Up, Turkey Slobs, Because it's Time for Killer Leftovers
Photo by Flickr user erincooksYes, put everything on it.Thanksgiving Day, 5 p.m.: Family members are sprawled on your furniture, belts off, pants unbuttoned, fancy holiday shirts marked by cranberry and gravy spills, making half-assed attempts to argue. Your father-in-law has been in the bathroom ... More >>
Blogs
November 27, 2009
Purge the Bird and Braise Yourself Some Short Ribs
Photo by Flickr user Dave LifsonI love me some good poultry. I've basked in the glory of wings, become reverent in the presence of a well-cooked turkey, waxed lyrical about Thanksgiving leftovers. But it's right about this time every year that I find out I have a poultry limit. It's time to flush ... More >>
Blogs
December 4, 2009
Bolognese and Alfredo Done Simply -- and Meaty
Photo by Flickr user CookingHow"So where'd you get the recipe, anyway?" I asked. My friend Robey was standing at my stove, cooking up a vat of what he said was Bolognese sauce to feed our families. "The internet, actually," he told me. "I called my mom and asked her to give me hers, but she start ... More >>
Blogs
December 11, 2009
It's Not the Nitrous Talking: Chicken and Sausage Together Rocks
Photo by Flickr user beckahariWhen I was a strapping young buck of 20 or so, I spent my summers cooking at an array of restaurants in a resort town in New York. I cooked for the same reason a lot of people did: so I could go out all night, go to the beach all day, and wander unshowered into work ... More >>
Blogs
December 18, 2009
Meat Pies: Australian for Food
Photo by Flickr user Mr & Mrs StickyfingersA couple of years ago, I went to a Christmas party in New York City. It wasn't a dinner party, but more of a "stand around and chat while you swirl wine in a glass and look fancy" kind of deal. I prefer sitting, preferably with my legs up and a bowl ... More >>
Blogs
December 25, 2009
The Decade in Meat: From the McRib Comeback to a President Obama Meat Blunder
Photo from Flickr user Cap'n SurlyThe decade brought us many great meat products, like the Bacon Explosion.Growing up, I was always a fan of those ubiquitous "best of the year" stories that news outlets put together every December, so I thought it fitting that I give a little something back this ... More >>
Blogs
January 1, 2010
Been Drinking? Think Meat.
flickr user: wharmanI'm relatively sure that I'm not the only person who, after an evening of cocktails with friends who recently headed home, has stood in his kitchen looking desperately for an easy, late-night, meat-based meal. But cooking abilities are questionable for someone who's holding on ... More >>
Blogs
January 8, 2010
It's Cold Outside, So Let's Get Stewed
Photo by Flickr user ulterior epicureWhen I was a kid growing up in the Northeast, cold weather was good news. I'd get outdoors early to enjoy the snow and chat up cute girls in puffy down jackets. And I'd spend the entire day outside, trying to stay upright on my minibike while running wide open ... More >>
Blogs
January 15, 2010
Lobsters: Cook 'Em, Don't Free 'Em
Photo by Flickr user mocmocDon't eat if chewy.I didn't know about surgical gloves when I was cooking. Tune into any cooking show these days and you'll eventually see a chef who looks like he's about to perform an unpleasant exam on someone. That surgical glove is likely being used to keep a Band- ... More >>
Blogs
January 22, 2010
Bacon Explosion: Drop That Bomb on Me
Photos by Bradford Schmidt"What are you doing?" My wife, Joanna, had returned unexpectedly from some errands was staring at me from the doorway."What? The house is always filled with kids. I had some time alone -- what do you think I'm going to do? You, uh, want to help me out a little?" I asked ... More >>
Blogs
February 12, 2010
Kill the Gastropub: Burgers and Beers Will Do
Photo by Flicker user mlazopoulouThe Eagle created the new, dickwad name for a restaurant.David Eyre and Mike Belben are two blokes who own The Eagle pub in Clerkenwell, London. And by blokes, I'm talking British bitches. Anyway, David and Mike were looking for a new term that would imply that th ... More >>
Blogs
February 19, 2010
When a Chef Won't Share His Oxtail Secrets, It's All About Winging It
Photo by Bradford Schmidt"Are you really so unhappy working here that it's necessary to be a douchebag?" I thought. I was out to dinner with a friend at a local restaurant, and the chef was sitting with us. He's a pretty well-known guy, and the restaurant had opened fairly recently, and I as ... More >>
Blogs
March 15, 2010
Breakfast of Champions: Sausage Balls?
Photo by Bradford SchmidtI do the heavy testing so you don't have to.It took her a good 30 seconds of sniffing, poking, and staring before she'd just try the damned thing."I don't know about this," Joanna said."Trust me -- it's different than you think it will be."We were in the kitchen again, th ... More >>
Blogs
March 22, 2010
How to Convert a Vegetarian by Hiding the Meat in "Authentic" Dishes
Photo by Flicker user JadydangelHide your meat in baked ziti.It's no secret that I'll eat pretty much anything made from, made with, or made in the same room as a meat or meat byproduct. Oddly, not everyone feels the same way. Occasionally, someone around here whom I won't name because she knows ... More >>
Blogs
April 5, 2010
Danish Band Kashmir Shares Meaty Wisdom
Photo by Flickr user vulnerablechaosMeatballs: the way to her heart, says one Danish band member.If you go backstage at Antone's, the legendary music venue in Austin, then head upstairs past whatever band is lingering on the first floor, look closely at the back wall of the small balcony and you' ... More >>

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