Subject:

Chris Joseph

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2013

    West Palm Beach Threatening to Close Storm Drains From Schools Over Fees Owed

    Apparently the Palm Beach County School district owes the City of West Palm Beach a crapload of money. More than $200,000, in fact. The money owed is from a year's worth of storm drain fees (which really worked to PERFECTION during Tropical Storm Andrea), and now city officials are saying if the d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2013

    Rick Scott Signs Bill Banning Paid Sick Leave

    Rick Scott, in an apparent mission to blow up every possible bridge linking him to re-election in 2014, signed a bill on Friday banning paid sick leave for Floridians, because, as much as they love to talk up how they hate Big Government and Bengazziiii and TAXES BAD, the GOPers simply love this eve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2013

    Boil Water Alert for Broward Extended to at Least Saturday

    On Wednesday came the news of a boil water alert for much of Broward County. And now officials are saying that the alert will be extended at least to Saturday. The reason for this is when inspectors checked out the county's water well, the survey failed, moving them to extend the alert to one more ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2013

    Fishermen Find $2.5 Million Worth of Cocaine Floating in Gulf

    Usually when a fisherman fishes out an unusual object from the water, it's a boot or a tin can or a license plate. Except if you're a fisherman in Florida, in which case the unusual object you fish out is usually a sack of drugs. Five fishermen found a large package of cocaine floating in the wat ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2013

    Florida Community Trying to Keep Fracking and Drilling Away From Everglades

    The Dan A. Hughes Company, an independent oil and gas exploration company headquartered in Beeville, Texas, apparently owns the mineral rights to an onshore oil reserve known as the Sunniland Trend, which stretches from Ft. Myers to Miami. And they fully intend on fracking the crap out of it. Accor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2013

    A Mother Pygmy Whale and Calf Die After Washing Ashore in Jupiter

    And now for a bummer of an animal news item: A pygmy sperm whale and her calf have died after washing ashore in Jupiter on Monday. The mother whale was spotted on shore shortly after 4 p.m. north of the Jupiter Reef Club. Her calf was found some distance away, to the north near Carlin Park. Accor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2013

    Florida Lobster Poachers Arrested With 468 Tails

    Lobster season in Florida runs from August 6 through March 31. The lobster-tail bag limit for the season is six per person, per day. But apparently two men decided that lobster season is right now and that the lobster-tail bag limit is none. According to Florida Fish and Wildlife, two men were arr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2013

    Llamas Involved in Car Accident on I-75

    Yesterday, we told you about a llama that escaped from his Tallahassee pen, running amok, hopping fences, and giving the cops a good run until they tasered his llama ass and got him back into his fence. Now comes the news -- albeit a lot sadder than yesterday's news -- of llamas being involved in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2013

    Florida Man Bites Wife's Butt During Argument

    A man got into a lover's quarrel with his pregnant wife and, as things tend to go when couples argue, things got heated and people's feelings were hurt. And by "things got heated," we mean he bit his wife's ass. And by "people's feelings were hurt," we mean her ass was hurt. Because her husband ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 30, 2013

    EBT Cards Officially Banned at Florida Strip Clubs

    The days of using your welfare card to make it rain on some fine ladies dancing on the pole, then getting yourself some booze, is now officially a thing of the past. Gov. Rick Scott signed bill HB 701 on Thursday, making the use of state-issued electronic benefits cards at strip clubs, liquor store ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 28, 2013

    Papa John's Employees Butt-Dial Customer, Leave Racist Message on Voicemail

    Two Sanford Papa John employees didn't appreciate the tip they got from a customer. So, they butt-dialed the customer and sang a song filled with racial slurs into his voicemail. Unfortunately for them, however, the customer knows how to use the YouTube, and was able to post the message on there. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2013

    Florida Man Finds Unlocked Safe in Front Yard With $7K Worth of Meth Inside

    A Port Charlotte man woke up to discover a black bag with an unlocked safe inside it. What could be in this safe that magically appeared on the man's lawn as if it were a gift from the heavens? Money? Gold? Jewels? A treasure map? Nope. It was drugs. A shitload of drugs. Because, Florida.

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2013

    Rick Scott To Sign Texting-and-Driving Ban Bill

    It looks like Florida's texting-and-driving ban, which was at one point was almost derailed by the House added some frivolous amendments to it last month, will become a thing when Rick Scott signs it into law next week. The bill barely made it to the governor's desk thanks to an amendment the House ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 23, 2013

    Worker At Port of Palm Beach Dies in Barge Accident UPDATE

    UPDATE: The original post to this story reported that that worker that was killed was a Port of Palm Beach employee. However, the man was working at the port, but was not a Port of Palm Beach employee.A man working at the Port of Palm Beach was killed in barge an accident in Slip 3 at the port, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2013

    Florida Woman Illegally Rides Manatee Like a Horse in Siesta Key Waters

    People can't seem to stop being stupid and treating manatees like they're playthings to jump on top of and ride like a horse. Just a day after two dolts jumped on top of a mother manatee and her calf, comes an WFLA report of a woman leaping on a manatee and trying to ride it like that kid does the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2013

    Florida Men Cannonball Onto Manatees, Post It On YouTube

    A couple of Cocoa Beach yokels made the conscious decision to lure a mother manatee and her calf close to the water's edge, and then cannonballed into them, because DERPY DERPY DERP IT'S HIGH LARIOUS. Then they posted the video of them slamming into the animals on the YouTube. Because this ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2013

    Injured Pit Bulls Used For Dog Fighting Rescued In Indian River County

    Three pit bulls and a puppy suspected of being a part of a dog fighting ring have been rescued by Indian River County police. The dogs were found at a home located at 4565 33rd Avenue in Vero Beach, and had injuries consistent with dog fighting, according to officials. When police found the dogs, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2013

    Florida Alligators Jealous of All The Shark Coverage, Making South Florida News

    Traffic is pretty bad down here in South Florida to begin with. Usually it's because of an accident, or rush hour, or simply because people want to slow to 15 mph on a 55 mph highway to look at a guy changing his tired on the side of the road. But Thursday morning's traffic woes were thanks to a bi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 15, 2013

    Marina Lofts Development Approved, Rain Tree Not Even Considered at City Hall Meeting

    The city's Planning & Zoning Board met Wednesday night at Fort Lauderdale City Hall and recommended approval for the Marina Lofts development high-rise apartments proposed for near downtown Fort Lauderdale, without even considering the 100-year-old rain tree at the center of the controversy at the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    Man on Honeymoon Busted for Soliciting a Prostitute

    A man from Illinois was honeymooning with his new bride in Orlando when he allegedly decided to leave their honeymoon suite at the Omni Hotel in Champions Gate to go pay another woman for sex. The newlywed woman had noticed her man had gone missing and called the cops. She would soon learn that her ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    Florida Woman Padlocks Kids Inside Trailer So She Can Go Shopping

    Kids. They can be a such a nuisance. Especially when you just want to go shopping for stuff. Amerite? One Volusia County mother thought so. So she left her 9-year-old and 4-year-old inside their trailer home, padlocked it, and went shopping at the local Dollar General Store.

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2013

    Florida High School Student Expelled Over Shooting Rumor

    A high school student in northwest Florida was kicked out of school for essentially lying about how a gunman was going to come and shoot people at his school. Sometime last week, the Walton County High School student began a rumor that there was going to be a shooting at the school. When school off ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2013

    Naked Florida Man Knocks on a Woman's Door, Asks for Help

    A Deltona, Florida, man must have read our account of that one dude who tried to pick up a single mom by whipping out his dong in front of her and her kids. Because he apparently tried something similar with a woman by showing up to her door naked. See also: -Florida Man Takes Out Penis Trying to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2013

    Pit Bulls Maul Florida Woman as She Protects Her Daughter

    A Daytona Beach woman was attacked and mauled by a pack of pit bulls as she shielded her 6-year-old daughter from the animals. Brandy Bookamer, 27, went for a stroll with her daughter by their home on Holly Lane in Daytona North on Sunday evening when they were suddenly and viciously attacked by fi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2013

    EBT Cards Banned at Strip Clubs by Florida Senate

    The days of using your welfare card to make it rain on some fine ladies dancing on the pole, and then getting yourself some booze, is now officially a thing of the past. On Friday morning, with no debate, the Florida Senate unanimously approved the bill that will not allow the use of state issued e ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Are Drafting Everybody, According To the Experts

    The NFL Draf is tonight. And all the experts and pundits and analysts have weighed in on what exactly the Miami Dolphins will do with their 12th overall pick (earned by the blood, sweat and tears of yet another 7-9 finish). And the consensus is... the Dolphins will be selecting everyone tonight. M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Bong Ban Bill Passes Florida House in a 112-3 Vote

    Bad news, potheads. The House voted 112-3 on a bill that bans the sale bongs and pipes that could be used to smoke marijuana. Ex-crackhead Rep. Darryl Rouson believes that The Pot is a gateway drug to things like The Crack. Therefore, he sponsored the bill to ban all bongs, glass bowls, roach clips ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2013

    Florida High School Student Detonates Explosive Bottle on School Grounds, Cops Say

    So it's been a week since the incidents in Boston occurred, and even though the evildoers have been killed and captured, people are naturally still jittery when it comes to explosions going off. Particularly explosions near other people. Particularly if those people are kids. With all that in mind, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2013

    Drone-Banning Bill Passes Florida Senate Unanimously

    Good news, everyone! It looks like it's going to be a little harder for the government to vaporize you with a drone, thanks to a 39-0 vote by the Florida Senate for SB 92. Sponsored by Sen. Joe Negron, who is the chamber's appropriations chair, the bill will keep local law enforcement officials fro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2013

    Top Ten Moments of the Miami Heat's 27-Game Winning Streak in GIF Form!

    The Miami Heat's epic run at the all-time NBA winning streak came to an end in Chicago on Wednesday night.And while the HATERZ and media and other various forms of troglodytic internet dwellers are celebrating a regular-season loss that is essentially as meaningless as their lives today, Heat fans a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 26, 2013

    Broward County Declares Cold Weather Emergency

    In case you haven't noticed, the weather's been kinda nutty lately. It's hot, it's cold, it's hot, it's cold again. OMG Florida is going through menopause! Well, it was a bit brisk this morning, and yes, you had your fun taunting your Northeastern friends with the fact that you find 50 degrees cold ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 25, 2013

    Florida Woman Hides Crack In Her Vagina

    Some women can't seem to stop using their vagina as a drug smuggling compartment. In December, we told you about a woman who was busted hiding meth in her cooch. And just a few weeks ago, we reported on a woman who used her vag to stow away bags of drugs. Now comes a report of a woman cops busted ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2013

    No More Visits to Strip Clubs With Your EBT Card, if Florida Bill Gets Passed

    The days of using your welfare card to make it rain on the fine ladies dancing on the pole, and then getting yourself some booze, will soon be a thing of the past. That is, if House Bill 701 becomes a law. You're just going to have to get a second or third job to get yourself a lap dance now, guy.

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2013

    Ultra Music Festival Given The OK To Start After Stage Collapse

    Last night, our sister paper Miami New Times reported about a stage collapsing during sound check for Ultra Music Festival at Bayfront Park. Three men were reportedly injured and rushed to the hospital in critical condition after an LED screen fell on them, causing the stage collapse. One of the me ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2013

    Mike Wallace Is A Miami Dolphin

    As was expected since before free agency kicked off, the Miami Dolphins are expected to officially, for real this time, sign free agent wide receiver Mike Wallace, according to the NFL Network.All that's left is for him to pass a physical and iron out some contract stuff.The signing fills a huge voi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2013

    Sharks Force Beach Closings in Palm Beach County

    According to the University of Florida, Palm Beach has the third-highest number of shark attacks among Florida counties with 62.See also: -Great White Sharks Spotted in Florida Waters And apparently, Palm Beach swimmers are crazy delicious, because a large number of migrating sharks have been ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2013

    TSA Will Allow Small Knives and Sporting Gear on Planes

    Come April 25, you will be able to carry a small knife onto a plane. Also, sporting equipment, such as a pool cue, and golf clubs and hockey sticks. That's because the TSA has announced that these items are no longer prohibited on board airplanes since they were banned after the 9/11 terrorist atta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 28, 2013

    60 Cats Found Living in "Deplorable Conditions" in West Palm Beach

    Cops entered a home in West Palm beach after neighbors complained of a strong odor. When police entered the home Thursday morning, they found hundreds of empty cans of cat food strewn around the yard in the 800 block of Sunset Road. They also discovered a large number of cats living in "deplorable ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2013

    LeBron James' Pregame Dunk May Have Altered Reality

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or gif of the day. As he did just a few nights ago, LeBron James decided to fool around during Heat pregame warmups before their game against the Sacramento Kings on Tuesday night, and he threw down another filthy Sledgehammer of the Gods-style dunk. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2013

    LeBron James Won the NBA Dunk Contest Forever

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or gif of the day. So there was LeBron James, goofing off with his teammates, watching them dunk during pre-game warmups before the Heat's matchup against the Cleveland Cavaliers on Sunday, when all of a sudden, HE COMPLETELY HALTED ALL SPACE AND TIME ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2013

    Chris Bosh's Greatest GIFs

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day. Today, we feature a grand collection of the greatest Chris Bosh gifs evaaar! Because, the haters can suck it. (Especially Little William, or whatever the hell his name is.)

  • Blogs

    February 19, 2013

    Baby Turtle Taking Its Long Journey on Florida Beach

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day.We usually like to reserve The Daily Look At This! for funny, sardonic, humorous gifs and/or videos. But then we came across this photo today and thought HOLY SMOKES LOOK AT HOW FIRGGIN CUTE THIS TINY BABY TURTLE IS OMG. So, ther ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 18, 2013

    Rick Scott Dancing Nightmare Fuel

    Rick Scott stopped into an elementary school music class last week and then proceeded to dance a creepy jig as the students played their instruments. You can watch the video here. But we figured the above gif was a more appropriate way to properly ruin your President's Day nap. follow Chris Joseph ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2013

    Russian Meteor Explosion Videos

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day. Scientists believe that a possible meteor that might have hit Florida was likely 100 feet across and incinerated trees, animals and pretty much any living thing around it with its impact and insane heat. That probably happened clos ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2013

    The Daily Look At This!: Wallow in Valentine's Day Goodness

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or gif of the day. It's Valentine's Day! *awkward high-five!* Here are a couple of videos to get you into the mood as you get ready to drunk-text your ex about how amazing your life is without them and how they can suck it, but not before eating an en ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2013

    An Open Letter to LeBron James to Join the Nuggets' Kenneth Faried and Fight Against Homophobia

    Hey, LeBron James. Hi. Hello. How are you? See the news about the Denver Nuggets' Kenneth Faried being the first NBA player to take a stand against homophobia? It's true! The Manimal has joined Athlete Ally, an organization that combats homophobia in all sports, and he's hoping other pro ath ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2013

    Marco Rubio Among Eight-Member Bipartisan Group Behind Immigration Reform Deal

    A group of eight Democratic senators and Republican senators have decided to stop it already with all the bickering and do some bipartisan work and have released an immigration reform framework that includes a "path to citizenship" for undocumented immigrants -- a day earlier than when Obama is supp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2013

    Broward County Name Change: Eight Options That Are Way Better

    This week, Broward County commissioners will debate whether the county should change its name. Comissioner Chip LaMarca is behind the idea, and bothered that no one outside of Florida has heard of Broward (unless they accidentally Google: weather in hollywood, and our Hollywood popped up). We agr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2013

    Homeowner in Dispute With Neighbor Spray-Paints Own Home

    A couple of Sarasota homeowners got into a neighborhood dispute. So one of the parties involved in the ballyhoo decided to take things up a notch and got some spray paint and covered one of the homes with bright, neon-colored graffiti. Of course, the home covered in spray paint was the person's o ... More >>

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