Subject: Florida

• Giuliani: Florida Is Nation's "Clean-Up Hitter"

  January 11, 2008

• Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

  June 13, 2008

• Miami's Electric Bunnies Offer More Garage Punk Madness

  July 2, 2008

• Burger King Pitches Penny To Tomato Pickers

  July 11, 2008

• Florida Citrus Growers Switch to Organic

  July 17, 2008

• Florida Most Dangerous State For Eating Out

  July 18, 2008

• Rare Fruit Council Sale, West Palm Beach

  July 15, 2008

• Construction Workers Admit They Installed a Stink Bomb with Chinese Drywall

  The only way to hang Chinese drywall.It's something of a cliché by now to think of Florida developers as the bad guys. But as homeowners start blaming them for the defective Chinese drywall rotting their homes, it is literally the stench that has led them to contractors.Not the developer's stench, technically, but the rotten eggs smell that fills homes built with Chinese drywall like a flea bomb. The smell is sulfur dioxide, which can potentially become toxic bottled up in homes and has been bl

  June 1, 2009

• Very, Very Cool Blog/Florida Music Archive: Cosmic Hearse

  A while ago, I posted about a very cool blog called the South Florida Music Scene Past and Present, which is devoted to hosting downloadable versions of all kinds of yesteryear goodness. Luckily, the blog's creator, Chip (formerly of the Miami hardcore band Destro) continues to update it, still focusing mainly on punk and hardcore of the mid-Nineties to early 00s. Recently, he shouted out another, similar blog: Cosmic Hearse. While it's devoted to a larger scope of hard-to-find, mostly rock rec

  December 2, 2008

• Everybody's Kung Food Fighting

  We used to joke about serving a "knuckle sandwich" and washing it down with a cool "can of whoop-ass" (pictured above). But no more. Not since this rash of cuisine-related crime struck Florida. This past week, we've been too scared to enter a Dunkin' Donuts, and only now that our brave sheriff has arrested the bandits and extracted a confession is it safe to feast again on those delicious, empty carbs.Of course, this crime trend started in Port St. Lucie, where in November a man assaulted his gi

  December 4, 2008

• Because A Regular Wedding Wouldn't Be Uncomfortable Enough

  Love is a beautiful thing, especially when it happens 180 feet above a casino parking lot. As if the issue of marriage weren't contentious enough in Florida with all the votes, rulings and appeals, now a straight couple from Boca Raton has decided to flaunt their legal ability to wed in the classiest way possible: strapped into harnesses, suspended over a 24-hour Indian casino. They probably didn't use the expression "taking the plunge." Note that in the Sun-Sentinel story, the report

  December 8, 2008

• LOLZ! ROFL! ACLU! Lawsuit Defends Student's Bitchy Facebook Page

  Hey kids, good news! If you want to create a Facebook page that declares some teacher "the worst teacher in, like, the world," and then you are suspended for that, the Florida chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida will sue the damn school to protect your First Amendment rights, as Katherine Evans, a Pembroke Pines High Charter School senior recently learned.Edit: For the record, the girl pictured above, posing menacingly (and a little seductively) in a classroom, is not the sa

  December 8, 2008

• Coral Springs School Will Play Their Drums For Him (Ba-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum)

  It's a bad week to be Jesus, but another messiah is preparing for a truly wondrous holiday season, and a local high school made the guest list. J.P. Taravella High School will be the only Florida high school to send a marching band to Barack Obama's inauguration parade on January 20th. Now, the question is, what to play? Neil Jenkins, who has directed the band at this A-rated Coral Springs school since 1990, says the Marching Trojans are contemplating a medley of different fight songs

  December 9, 2008

• Bakin' & Boozin': Karen's Cranberry Loaf, etc.

  One of my favorite holiday breads comes from my friend Karen Horan in Key West -- handed down from her grandmother. She finally took pity on me and gave me the recipe last year; I guess she got sick of having to bake me a loaf every time I came to visit. This bread is insanely addictive because of the balance of sweet and sour (it's made with fresh cranberries and good old Florida orange juice), and the recipe has the advantage that it makes three loaves: two and three quarters loaves for you, a

  December 21, 2008

• A Real Nice Clambake

  Coming to a beach near you.This is a weird time of the year for transplanted New Englanders. On the one hand, Florida's balmy wintertime tropicality is the reason we came here. On the other, wintertime in Florida always feels like a bit of a gyp. We get a little home sick, and we know it's illogical but we can't help it. The dear old Yanks at Kelly's Landing can help us by coming to our homes and making us our very own proper, New England clambakes, for parties of 20 - 150 people, and they'll co

  December 23, 2008

• Florida Home to Fresh-Squeezed... Handguns?

  A study published last month by Mayors Against Illegal Guns, a group lead by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, says that not only do lax gun laws lead to more murders, higher crime rates, and more law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty, guns from those states are used more often in out-of-state murders. And as you may have guessed (assuming you were not shot while reading the first paragraph), Florida is at the top of the list of states where the most "crime guns" originat

  January 6, 2009

• Locals You Can Cheer (or Jeer) at the Super Bowl

  Yeah, all the Florida football teams are done for the year, and when you watch the big game this weekend you'll probably care more about the commercials than either team (unless you're a gambler, like me, and the commercials just delay the inevitable sobbing and cursing and swearing never to bet on another game). But just because your team is out (you shut up, Steelers fan!), doesn't mean you don't have anyone local to cheer for. In fact, there are a total of 15 players in this game who wer

  January 30, 2009

• It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here!

  January 10, 2008

• Indie-pendence Day

  February 28, 2008

• Silly Rabbits

  Dance-music gurus for over a decade, does Rabbit in the Moon still have anything left in the tank?

  July 3, 2008

• Wait... We Give Inmates Belts?

  We must, because according to a Miami Herald headline, the inmates are tightening them. Just ask D'Angelo from The Wire whether belts should be allowed in prison. Well...I guess we can't ask him now, can we? Then again, maybe the Herald's just being metaphorical. Florida is coping with the effects of a failed and expensive food-privatization venture of former Gov. Jeb Bush. In 2001, the state turned over most prison food operations to Aramark Corp., even after Ohio had scrapped a similar experim

  February 16, 2009

• Call Centers Overwhelmed With Floridians Needing Public Assistance

  You know things are bad when the people who are paid to help the folks applying for public assistance need help themselves. More than five million Americans are seeking unemployment benefits, the most since records of such things have been kept. Now Florida call centers (not pictured here) have been overwhelmed by callers who have lost their jobs and need help with applications for public services like food stamps, according to a report in The New York Times. From the story: "Eve

  February 27, 2009

• Sen. Sobel Caught in Tattoo Snafu

  flsenate.govSobelA state bill that aims to make the tattoo industry safer is certain to have the opposite effect, according to the local tattoo artists organizing quickly to oppose it. Senate Bill 1130, sponsored by Florida Sen. Eleanor Sobel, the Hallandale Beach Democrat, would make it tougher for tattoo artists to get a state license. So tough that they may take their craft underground or else close up shop."If this bill passes, within six months one-third of the tattoo studios in Florida wil

  February 27, 2009

• Lawmaker Works to End Florida-to-Hillbilly Drug Pipeline

  Our construction industry is in the crapper and tourism in Florida is so bad that we should probably consider closing the city of Boca Raton. But if there's one thing that's working in Florida it's that we can supply the rest of the country with pain pills. Woo hoo, we're No. 1 at hooking hillbillies on pain pills! OK, admittedly that slogan needs some work.Well, we might not get a chance to add oxycodone to the state seal, because State Rep. Kelly Skidmore is trying to close a loophole that wou

  March 31, 2009

• Florida: Where It's Good to be a Smoker, Bad to be a Lung

  Smoke up, Florida! Kentucky raised their state taxes on cigarettes and booze yesterday. Residents will now pay 60 cents in state taxes per pack of cigarettes. So there's good news and bad news for Floridians. This means that the nation's two biggest tobacco-producing states, Kentucky and North Carolina, both have higher taxes on cigarettes than the sunshine smoke-filled state. (North Carolina pays 35 cents per pack; Florida pays 33.9 cents.) But State Bill 1840, approved this week by

  April 2, 2009

• Letters From the Issue of March 12, 2009

  March 12, 2009

• Letters from the issue of December 11, 2008

  December 11, 2008

• Rediscover Japanese cuisine at Marumi Sushi in Sunrise

  October 30, 2008

• The Black Kids

  November 22, 2007

• State Rep Issues Creative Challenge to Florida Sex Service Industry

  Flickr User: addisonmagazine"Keep those hands where I can see 'em!"With a few days left before the state legislative session goes into OT, we are almost ready to pronounce its legacy: This year, 2009, was the one in which Florida slipped off an economic cliff, but not before saving us from our oversexed selves. Sunrise Sen. Nan Rich would slip a chastity belt on Florida beasts. Greenacres Sen. David Aronberg would stop the stranger's eyes from peering down a blouse and up a skirt. And the latest

  April 28, 2009

• 30 Rock Blesses Florida With Its Ridicule

  Flickr user: Cary PohlhammerThank you, Tina Fey, for bringing Florida jokes to prime time.It's an honor to be ridiculed by Tina Fey. Just ask Sarah Palin and the City of Cleveland. (If you have never seen the episode of 30 Rock in which Fey's character, Liz Lemon, wants to "Flee to the Cleve" watch it. Now.)On 30 Rock last night, Fey bestowed her comedic genius on Florida. (Watch the full episode here).  Lemon's boss, Jack (played by Alec Baldwin), is distraught because his mother is visiti

  May 1, 2009

• The Biker Gang Bohemians

  May 7, 2009

• It's Unanimous: Florida Legislature Flunked

  Flickr User: MonteCristoScene of the crime: the state capitol in TallahasseeSure, it's unfair to focus entirely on what did not happen in a legislative session, and with all the economic troubles, this one was going to be grueling no matter what. But even grading against a curve of extremely low expectations this past session was a disgrace. Again and again, petty politics won out over crisis management. You'd be hard-pressed to find a newspaper in the state that can find a silver lining. The St

  May 6, 2009

• Suite Hereafter

  May 28, 2009

• Ask The Critic: Prime Gator

  Dinner is served.Dear Exalted Know it All:A native Floridian told me once that most of the alligator tail sold in Florida restaurants is the throwaway meat from the outsides of the tail. It's the center tenderloin that the natives eat, he said. So is there anywhere in South Florida that makes an edible tenderloin of alligator tail, instead of that chewy junk served to tourists?Signed, Chasing TailFort LauderdaleDear Chasing, As you can see from the picture above, when we here at New Times are cr

  May 29, 2009

• Where to Buy Local Seafood

  In response to last week's article comparing the dining scenes in Florida and New Orleans - and in particular, the relative lack of fresh, local seafood at affordable restaurants - Clean Plate Charlie received a comment pointing us in the direction of FL-seafood.com, a website created by the "Bureau of Seafood and Aquaculture Marketing" to promote buying and eating local seafood products to both consumers and the industry. And wouldn't you know it, the site is actually somewhat interesting: it h

  June 10, 2009

• UC Berkeley Study: Carbon Cap Good for Florida's Economy

  If maps with red don't convince you global warming is bad, maybe money will do it. It's trendy to go green these days. Fashionable to recycle, not waste water or litter, and help keep the planet what we like to call "inhabitable." But a new study from the University of California at Berkeley looks at the economic impact of instituting a cap on commercial carbon emissions. The study, The Florida Economy and a Federal Carbon Cap: a Quantitative Analysis, used economic mode

  June 17, 2009

• Grab a Date and Get Lit

  August 21, 2008

• Cigarette Smokers Burned By New Tax; Cigar Aficionados Blow Celebratory Rings

  flickr.com While cigarette smokers will now pay a dollar per pack more, the legislature gave the cigar industry a break. A new state-wide dollar-per-pack tax on cigarettes and smokeless and pipe tobacco starts today. The stated goal from the legislature is to encourage smokers to stop. If not for their own health, for the health of bank account. T he tax will also raise an estimated $950 million for health care, according to Sen. Ted Deutch, D-Boca Raton, sponsor of the bill. C

  July 1, 2009

• Tides Foundation Funds Florida Culture War

  We'll be seeing a lot more of this in the next three years Ruh-roh. Just when you thought you'd finally stuffed all those pesky gay people back into the closet where they belong, along comes an organization like the Tides Foundation, which has just awarded a $150,000 grant to "educate and train gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender leaders across Florida." That's all we need around here, more gay leaders, right? As if Wilton Manors and Lake Worth weren't already teeming with them. The goal

  July 24, 2009

• 49 States Green With Envy Over Florida's Environmental Progress

  Radio Green Earth: Making the world safer for tree frogs​Bet you thought South Florida was a lot more likely to win accolades for "best strip malls" or "extra egregious decimation of natural wildlife" than for anything much greener than development dollars. But it turns out Florida is among the top states in the nation when it comes to a clean, green energy economy, according to a study released last month by the Pew Charitable Trust. And we're also among the top ten states for jobs in the gre

  August 3, 2009

• Where to Get Your Hands on Florida Lobster This Season

  ​Florida spiny lobster season opens today and runs through March 31, meaning restaurants across South Florida should begin to stock the tasty, clawless buggers. The operative word here is should. Because, in reality, Florida lobster is a lot harder to get your mits on in a restaurant than you'd think. Many places don't plan on carrying the sea critters this season, citing availability, price, and less desirability next to their Maine or cold water Australian cousins. The later part is BS: whil

  August 6, 2009

• Brazen Young Panther Killed a Long Way From Home

  Flickr user: doncon402You lookin' for me?​Males. When they're young and brash, trying to mark their territory and impress girls, there's no telling what they'll do. Run off to Georgia, even, and get themselves killed.That's apparently what happened to a Florida panther who was shot and killed by a hunter last year in the woods of Troup County, Georgia. The animal's death set off a flurry of speculation that some kind of panther or cougar had escaped from captivity, because Florida panthers, wh

  August 6, 2009

• Bum Fights: Do Liberal New Yorkers Know What Happens to Homeless in Florida?

  Flickr: 71sbeetle​It's advertised as a way to deal with a city's homeless problem in the most humane way possible -- give 'em one-way tickets out of town. But that's only if the progressives in cities like New York aren't reading headlines like we've got down here, about Florida leading the nation in beating the homeless.Nor is their sleep disturbed by the news that the Florida Legislature slashed funding for the homeless this most recent session, meaning there's fewer resources to spread amon

  August 10, 2009

• Florida Interior Designers Free at Last

  flickr.com Interior design by any other name... Free at last. Free at last. An injunction gives sunshine state interior designers the freedom to advertise their services with controversial, explosive words like..."interior design". That's right, yesterday Federal District Judge Robert L. Hinkle signed an agreed injunction that prevents the Florida's State Board of Architecture and Interior Design from enforcing provisions of a Florida law that prevents decorators from advertsing

  August 11, 2009

• Greyhound Racing Suspended in Rhode Island; Racing Opponents Eye Florida

  "Wouldn't you rather pet me than bet on me?"​Last weekend, greyhound racing was suspended at Twin River, the only active track in Rhode Island. The track is bankrupt, in part it says, because of the cost of dog racing. The state assembly there is trying to revive the moribund industry, but the track has let go all 27 greyhound-related employees. If the stoppage sticks, Rhode Island will join New Hampshire and Massachusetts, which both recently ended racing. (The ban in Mass goes into ef

  August 13, 2009

• Whacking Day Comes to South Florida

   The day is upon us. Yes, every Simpsons fan knows Whacking Day started in 1924 as an excuse to beat up the Irish. And yes, technically Texas has had organized snake whacking for years. But now Florida's bravest most cunning snake-hatingest citizens will descend upon the swamps of this state in search of Burmese Pythons (and other "reptiles of concern"), in order to study learn from photograph kill them. Last month the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission began issuing permit

  August 27, 2009

• Florida's U.S. Senators: Which One's Tweedle Dee?

  Flickr: Meeko_Your health care is in their hands. Feeling queasy yet?​At tonight's joint session of Congress, Florida will have two senators in the audience in a position to make good on a policy -- health-care reform -- that is the subject of tonight's speech and that was a major part of Barack Obama's presidential campaign, for which a majority of Florida voters cast a ballot.Mind you, those ballots are a far more recent expression of the state's political views than the 2006 ballots that wo

  September 9, 2009

• Is Greyhound Racing Doomed in Florida?

  C. Stiles In the past two weeks, two greyhound racing tracks have announced that they are either ending live racing or shutting down completely: one in Arizona and one in Texas. Both tracks had been in operation for more than 50 years. With every track closing, opponents of racing look again to Florida, the heart of that industry in this country. And in Florida, groups like Grey2KUSA want

  October 8, 2009

• Nature's Way

  October 15, 2009