Giancarlo Stanton

  • Blogs

    March 31, 2014

    Miami Marlins: Can You Spot if Someone Is a Marlins Player?

    Your Miami Marlins kick off the 2014 MLB season tonight when they host the Colorado Rockies at the Broward County Commissioners Should Never Forget What the Marlins Did to Miami-Dade County Before Giving the Panthers Money Park Marlins Park. But before you don't go to the game and maybe decide to c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2013

    Jeffrey Loria Sells Painting Worth Slightly Less Than Entire Marlins Roster

    Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria sold a painting that cost more than any one player on the team's roster. In fact, it cost slightly less than the entire Marlins combined roster. Loria sold the painting for a cool $32 million. The 2013 Marlins roster comes in at a combined $39 million. ¡LO VIS ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2013

    Miami Marlins End Season With Walk-Off No-Hitter

    The Miami Marlins ended what was an otherwise historically horrendous season in the craziest, most improbable way imaginable: with a walk-off no hitter. Pitcher Henderson Alvarez threw his first career no-hitter. But, because these are the Marlins, it couldn't be just your run-of-the-mill no-hitte ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    10 Best Miami Pro Athlete Twitters to Follow

    Celebrity tweets can be an incoherent mess, or they can be 140 characters of dull insipid nothingness. This is especially true for pro athletes, most of whom hold their personalities in check and never venture outside their comfort zones to show their human side. Most pro athlete tweets are horr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    10 GIFS of Jose Fernandez Being Awesome

    Miami Marlins rookie phenom, pitcher Jose Fernandez, is awesome. He's arguably the most dominant pitcher of the season, is a Cuban immigrant, is gregarious, humble, young and, best of all, a total badass. Whether he's mowing down opposing batters with his filthy stuff, or hitting homeruns off the ... More >>

  • News

    March 7, 2013
  • Blogs

    March 4, 2013

    5 More Ways Jeffrey Loria Can Totally Troll the Marlins Fanbase

    Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria took out a full-page ad in the local papers last week titled "Letter to our Fans," (inexplicably, that letter failed to make its way to the New Times!) to explain why he and his team suck so hard. The letter was probably the most pedantic, lacking self-awareness, nar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2013

    Giancarlo Stanton Got Beaned in the Head by Own Teammate

    The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day. In what is the most real-life metaphor in the history of humankind, Marlins star slugger Giancarlo Stanton got hit in the head by a fastball pitch... from his own Marlins teammate. The pitch came from Jose Fernandez during a simul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    Miami Marlins Hire a New PR Firm To Make Us Forget The Horrible Things They've Done

    Maybe it was the fact that the team fooled Miami-Dade into building them a ballpark, and now the county is billions of dollars in the hole. Maybe it was the fact that they swore they wanted to contend while trading away their best players. Maybe it was that ridiculous rainbow vomit colored new log ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2012

    Miami Marlins Piss Off Fans By Trading Players: Four Ways to Protest with Your Food

    As if we didn't already hate Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria (and don't worry, we did), he just alienated every last person willing to give him the benefit of the doubt by selling off all the good players we had started to like (he holds fire sales every time a roster gets half-decent), and tradin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2012

    Alex Rodriguez Might Be Traded to the Marlins, According to Keith Olbermann

    According to former ESPN/MSNBC/Current TV personality, Keith Olbermann, the Miami Marlins have been in discussion with the New York Yankees on a possible trade for third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Olbermann says his sources claim that one possible scenario would be for the Yankees to pay for a portion ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2012

    Marlins Outfielder Mike Stanton No Longer Mike Stanton

    ​The man in right field for the Miami Marlins has "Stanton" written on the back of his jersey, but the name on his baseball cards will be changing, according to the Associated Press.The Home Run Artist Formerly Known as Mike Stanton would like it to be known that he wishes to be called Giancarlo S ... More >>