Jacksonville Jaguars

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2014

    Defense and a Suicidal Pigeon Help Dolphins Take Down Jaguars

    The Miami Dolphins did something rare on Sunday. They won a second-consecutive game. That's two wins in a row! It was as if we had almost forgotten you can do that. But the Dolphins did and now stand at 4-3 on the season and well on their way to winning the AFC East JUST AS WE PREDICTED. A dominant ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2014

    Nine Reasons Jacksonville Jaguars Fans Are the Worst

    The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't. Not us. Not here. Instead, we'r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2014

    Ten Reasons the Dolphins Will Win the AFC East

    We sling a lot of poop at the Miami Dolphins around these parts. And for good reason. They suck. They tend to stuff all our Sundays, loyalties, and hope into a cannon and fire it into an active volcano like Xenu. But screw that. We're going to forge ahead and -- perhaps against all sense and reaso ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    The Miami Dolphins Must Win Sunday, Or It's All Over

    The Dolphins season is at a breaking point, and a loss Sunday would be the final karate-chop that shatters it into a million aqua pieces. Coming off a complete stinker of a blowout loss to the totally beatable Kansas City Chiefs at home last week, Sunday's game in London against the Oakland Raiders ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    Rick Scott Has Raised $18.5 Million for Reelection Campaign

    Just because you hate Rick Scott, that doesn't automatically mean he won't win reelection next year. (And we can, at this point, agree, that most of you hate him.) Let's break down how and why: 1. This is Florida. 2. He Has Really, Really, Ridiculously Filthy-Rich Friends. 3. But, mostly, He Has ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2013

    The 17 Worst Things To Happen To the Miami Dolphins

    The Miami Dolphins just recently lost their big-time free agent acquisition, tight end, Dustin Keller, to a horrific injury that tore the ACL, PCL, and MCL in his left knee. It's just the latest in many horrific blows that have nut-punched this team for over a decade. Some would say the team is cu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2013

    Five Reasons the Miami Dolphins Won't Suck Against the Jaguars Tonight

    The Miami Dolphins head into EverBank Field in Jacksonville tonight to take on the Jaguars for their second pre-season hoedown of 2013. Last week, against the Cowboys, the Fins looked as bad as a team that calls itself a professional football team could look. And while we know watching this team i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 4, 2013

    The Anti-Immigration Group Targeting Marco Rubio Doesn't Want to Talk to New Times, or Any Other "Liberal Opinion Media"

    Right now Washington D.C. is buzzing about the immigration bill, legislation that could radically change the country's stance on who's in and who's out. The one guy who seems to have put all his political chips on the passage of the legislation is Senator Marco Rubio. And because Rubio is essentiall ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2013

    Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk Gets Into Twitter Beef With Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot

    Mike Florio, who runs the NFL website Pro Football Talk, got into some Twitter beef with the Jacksonville Jaguars mascot, Jaxson de Ville, on Wednesday night. We were hoping this was a case of an NFL "writer" having some good clean fun with a cartoon character to entertain their respective follower ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2012

    Dolphins Crush Jaguars 24-3, Still Not Going to the Playoffs

    It's always nice to walk away from watching a Dolphins game and not feel like you just fell down and punctured your scrotum with your car keys. Sunday's game against the visiting Jacksonville Jaguars was such a day. Ryan Tannehill put together the best QB rating at 123.2, and completion percentage ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 24, 2011

    Amar'e Stoudemire Now Part of What's Likely the Most Athletic Neighborhood in Broward

    shortshortsweakprose.comAmar'e Stoudemire​New York Knicks forward Amar'e Stoudemire bought a new house in Southwest Ranches, which made headlines a few weeks ago largely due to the fact that his new pad is enormous and expensive -- $3.7 million for 14,555 square feet.Is it obnoxiously large wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2011

    Marco Rubio Butt-Kissing Won't Help GOP Candidates Win Florida, According to Poll

    ​There's been a common theme among this year's GOP presidential candidates -- firmly planting their lips on the buttcheeks of Sen. Marco Rubio and dropping his name as a potential running mate.If that's a ploy to win Florida in a general election, it won't help, according to survey results release ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2011

    Brandon Marshall Hospitalized After Stabbing

    Brandon Marshall​Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall is at Broward General this morning after being stabbed in the stomach with a knife last night, according to ESPN. Marshall was taken to the hospital late Friday night after a 911 call and underwent surgery this morning. He reportedly w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 18, 2009

    Morning Juice: Mystery in Miramar; Hurricane's Northern Path May Kill Bill

    ​So far, the morning brings no new information on what, exactly, happened yesterday in Miramar -- just that whatever it was was horrible. WPLG has some video with interviews from neighbors. In the meantime, here's what else is happening in South Florida:The U.S. Justice Department has indicted Alb ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 13, 2009
  • News

    February 14, 2008

    The She-Zebra

    Will Erin Meehan be the first female ref in the NFL?

  • Calendar

    August 23, 2007
  • Blogs

    August 13, 2007

    Same Old Mr. Hyde

    I was just thinking the other day that Dave Hyde hadn't seemed to have written anything monumentally soppy or boneheaded in a good long while. Was he getting better or did I just not give a damn anymore? I didn't know until now, the beginning of the football preseason. He's still the same old Hy ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 9, 2007

    Swimming For Shore

    A 2007 Dolphin's offseason retrospective.

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2006

    Sinking Saban

    The Dolphins blew it yesterday, or I should say the Dolphins' offense blew it. Had Miami beaten Jacksonville, they'd have been in the thick of the playoff race, believe it or not. And even though Jax QB David Garrard was sensational, the D held them pretty well. Naw, it was Joey Harrington, O-coordi ... More >>

  • News

    September 7, 2006

    Swimming With the Fishes

    The $8 million man will lead the Dolphins out of the desert. Honest.

  • News

    November 4, 2004

    The Book of Ruth

    He plays small-town, big-time football. But is that enough?

  • News

    May 13, 2004

    Comeback Kid

    Johnny Mitchell gave up football for his tiny, disabled daughter. But the dream dies hard.

  • Calendar

    October 16, 2003

    Teed Off

    See tomorrow's greatest golfers today

  • News

    November 18, 1999

    The Real Sugar Bowl

    That would be Glades Central versus Pahokee, a fierce high-school rivalry that's become a bigtime game

  • News

    November 12, 1998

    Chasing Danny

    Is Dan Marino a stoic swaddled in hype or an autistic sports celebrity with the personality of an egg timer? Both.

  • News

    February 26, 1998

    Cleared for Takeoff

    If Fort Lauderdale wants to keep the Baltimore Orioles in town for spring training, it just needs to come up with $36 million