Jeff Ireland

Miami Dolphins Draft Dion Jordan, And No One Knows If He's Going To Be Any Good

The Dolphins supposedly really, really, ridiculously wanted Oregon defensive end Dion Jordan. So they traded down from the 12th spot to the 3rd spot, swapping picks with the Oakland Raiders, and also handing over their 42nd overall pick for the right to take Jordan. And while nobody really knows if ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Are Drafting Everybody, According To the Experts

The NFL Draf is tonight. And all the experts and pundits and analysts have weighed in on what exactly the Miami Dolphins will do with their 12th overall pick (earned by the blood, sweat and tears of yet another 7-9 finish). And the consensus is... the Dolphins will be selecting everyone tonight. M ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins Free Agency Update

The Dolphins apparently went a little drunk-guy-at-the-strip-club and threw money all over the place Tuesday. Particularly, at Steelers receiver Mike Wallace and, surprisingly, at Ravens linebacker Dannell Ellerbe. But Jeff Ireland ain't done.And while the moves seem to reek of a desperate GM tryi ... More >>

Mike Wallace Headed to the Dolphins, According to the Internet

NFL free agency doesn't kick off until Tuesday at 4 p.m. which is both the most arbitrary time to schedule the start of free agency and a tad annoying to people that have to report these things (WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE MEDIA???). But that's not stopping rumors and reports from swirling endlessly.& ... More >>

Dave Hyde, the Sun Sentinel, and the Crap State of South Florida Sports Journalism

The Sun Sentinel's Dave Hyde picked the wrong damned time to coddle Dan Marino. Five days before the New York Post broke the Marino love-child story, Hyde wrote a piece on the Dolphins quarterback's work with autism. And that's cool. However, the first paragraph in that column read thusly: People ... More >>

Stephen Ross' State of the Dolphins Address Revealed A Whole Lot of Nothing

Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross met with local media on Monday to discuss the state of the franchise. And it was filled with clichés, talking points, and the nonsensical ramblings of a hobgoblin. In other words, it was exactly what you'd expect from a team that has gone 7-9, 7-9, 6-10 and 7-9 th ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Finish 7-9 Yet Again; Somehow Jeff Ireland Is Still Employed

In case you missed it, the Miami Dolphins got thoroughly pulverized with a sock full of pennies by the New England Patriots yesterday to the tune of 28-0, mercifully bringing the 2012 campaign to an end and ensuring yet another 7-9 season. Yet, on Black Monday -- the Monday following the regular se ... More >>

Dolphins Lose to 49ers 27-13, Suffer Fourth-Straight Season of At Least Eight Losses

Oh, hey. Look at that. The Dolphins lost again. At this point the inevitability of the Dolphins getting their asses pounded week in and week out, year in year out, should be old hat. These are, after all, the Miami Dolphins. And as the San Francisco 49ers punted the Fins' collective dicks to the t ... More >>

Dolphins Get Roughed Up by Titans, 37-3

The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four t ... More >>

Jeff Ireland Parody Song Reminds Us That Jeff Ireland Still Stinks

The Dolphins might have won Sunday, and it looks like their quarterback situation might have been solved. But one fact remains unchanged: Jeff Ireland still sucks as a general manager. And now the the undaunted geniuses at #WAARF (via FinsNation.com), have come up with yet another parody s ... More >>

Ryan Tannehill Sets Rookie Record, Dolphins Still Lose

Ryan Tannehill threw for 431 yards. Brian Hartline caught 12 passes for 253 yards. Cameron Wake registered four sacks. And yet the Miami Dolphins still found a way to dip their balls in the soft serve ice cream machine and lose to the Arizona Cardinals 24-21 in overtime. It was the Fins' second c ... More >>

Miami Dolphins at Arizona Cardinals Preview

Remember when the 2012 NFL schedule was released and everybody saw Arizona on it and were all, LOLOLOL we're so gonna win that game? So much for that. The Cardinals are currently one of two undefeated teams at 3-0, in first place in their division, and a solid home team. They also have Larry Fitzg ... More >>

Karlos Dansby Says the 2012 Dolphins Have More Talent Than the 2008 Super Bowl Cardinals

The 1-2 Miami Dolphins are in Arizona this weekend to face the 3-0 first-place Cardinals. During midweek interviews with the media, Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby, who was a member of the Cardinals 2008 Super Bowl team, told Arizona reporters that this current Dolphins team has more talent than ... More >>

Dolphins Fall in OT to the Jets

The Miami Dolphins lost because they can no longer do the one thing this team was always only capable of doing -- kick field goals. And so the New York Jets came to town, managed to play like a sack of crap, and still pulled out the 23-20 victory, because our kicker forgot how to kick field goals, ... More >>

Jeff Ireland Allegedly Called a Dolphins Fan an "Asshole" on Sunday UPDATED

Miami Dolphins general manager is not a very popular guy around town (save maybe for a few still-loyal zombies here and there). And according to several fans who attended Sunday's Dolphins-Raiders game, he got supermad at a critical fan and called the fan an "asshole."Fans began to call in to the Er ... More >>

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Dolphins' Daniel Thomas Passes Concussion Test, Still Won't Play Sunday

Dolphins running back Daniel Thomas was bonked on the head during 30-10 loss against the Houston Texans last Sunday. He left the game with an apparent concussion and didn't return. But according to Orlando Alzugary of 640 Sports, Thomas passed his concussion test. However, according to Alzugary's s ... More >>

Obama Rips the Miami Dolphins On Local Radio

Barack Obama panders to no one! Especially not Dolphins fans because, well, that would be pretty stupid. Because they suck, you see. Obama made an appearance this morning on Pimp With A Limp DJ Laz on 106.7 FM where he did some campaigning. Because it's important to reach that Pimp With A Limp dem ... More >>

Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Preview: Innovators of Suck

Your Miami Dolphins are set to kickoff the 2012 season this Sunday at Houston (a team, incidentally, they have never beaten ever in the entire existence of American tackle football history). If you haven't noticed, we're living in the golden age of pass-first football. Passing records are falling b ... More >>

Hard Knocks Season Finale: The Tannehills Make a Table!

Last night was the season finale of Hard Knocks, which means it's all downhill for the Miami Dolphins from here on out. As far as season finales go, this one was a weird amalgam of boring, sad, and -- for some inexplicable reason -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. With the first four episodes featuring ... More >>

Hard Knocks Episode 4: All Vontae Davis Wants to Do Is Call His Grandma

Last night's episode of Hard Knocks was all heartache and Jeff Ireland. We saw the stark reality of players' dreams of playing professional football halted by the cruel, cutthroat world of the NFL. And we saw firsthand just how thoroughly Ireland sucks at his job. We also saw that, no matter wha ... More >>

Vontae Davis Traded to the Colts

The Miami Dolphins traded former first-round pick and cornerback Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for two 2013 draft picks yesterday. That's right. Jeff Ireland just got a second-round pick and sixth-round pick for a guy he decided to draft over Clay Matthews, Hakeem Nicks, Kenny Britt, Patri ... More >>

Miami Dolphins vs. Atlanta Falcons: Five Things To Look For

With two pre-season games left to play, the Dolphins still have a lot of unanswered questions lingering like a drunk old man who won't leave the bar. Ryan Tannehill wonders who he'll be throwing to. Joe Philbin wonders if any of the bubble players will step up and earn a job. Jeff Ireland wonders i ... More >>

Hard Knocks Episode 3: HUMP WEEK

Last night's episode of Hard Knocks featured rookies singing, Reggie Bush leading, offensive linemen puking and a sad puppet.Most of all, it featured what might be the turning point in the franchise's future: Ryan Tannehill winning the starting quarterback job... and then offensive lineman Richie In ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Open Preseason Against Bucs: Five Things To Look For

Your Miami Dolphins open their 2012 season tonight when they host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a pre-season matchup FUCK YEA. It's a whole new start (again!) for the Dolphins, as they unveil a new coaching regime (again!), a offensive scheme (again!), a new defensive scheme (again!) an ... More >>

Joe Philbin Hates F-Bombs, Loves Seinfeld

HBO's Hard Knocks featuring the Miami Dolphins debuted last night and filled us all with the inevitable feeling of false hope and overhyped enthusiasm for our shitty, shitty football team.But a reality show featuring the Fins is a nice change of pace from their old NORAD-like, supersecretive attitud ... More >>

Dolphins Rookie Ryan Tannehill Still a No-Show at Camp

Your Miami Dolphins hit the practice field today for the opening of training camp for a whole new season of suck. Thus far, Matt Moore (aka THE PUPPET) has taken the first-team reps, while David Garrard is leading the second stringers.Conspicuously absent from the proceedings is first-round pick QB ... More >>

Bill Parcells May Have Been Fired, and He May Have Deserved It

flickr.com​This week brought news that Bill Parcells is leaving his post as vice president of football operations for the Dolphins. Upon closer inspection, it sure seems like the Tuna was given the hook. And though he's nothing short of a football legend -- and it might sound almost sacrilegious t ... More >>

Bill Parcells Out as Dolphins VP of Football Operations

flickr.comParcells looking over training camp earlier this year.​The Miami Dolphins just issued a statement to the media saying that Jeff Ireland will "assume full control over all aspects and decisions in regard to the Miami Dolphin football team and support staff."Ireland, who had some trouble t ... More >>

The Salvation of Dolphin Nation

Ricky Williams is "Reconsidering" Retiring After 2010 Season

flickr.com​At last night's South Florida premiere of his new documentary, Run Ricky Run, the Dolphins running back told a crowd of family, friends, fans, teammates, and coaches that he is "reconsidering" his decision to retire at the end of the 2010 season."My coach and general manager are here, s ... More >>

Huizenga Defeats Obama

In a press release just sent out over the wires, the Miami Dolphins announced that Stephen M. Ross now owns 95 percent of the franchise and Dolphin Stadium. Combined with the 50 percent of the team Ross purchased last February, Ross and Wayne Huizenga officially sealed the deal on an additiona ... More >>