Subject:

Jeff Ireland

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2014

    9 Reasons Dan Marino Should Not Take Any Front Office Jobs with the Dolphins

    Hi Dan Marino. Hi. Hello. How are you? You might not remember me, but we met last year during a Miami Dolphins presser when they unveiled their new logo and uniforms. I was the guy who walked up to you and tried asking you a question but instead only managed to say something along the lines of, "D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 18, 2014

    Dan Marino Out at CBS; Could He Be Joining Dolphins?

    CBS announced on Tuesday that former Miami Dolphin great Dan Marino will not be returning to do their Sunday pregame shows next season. Marino, who had been with the network since 2002, is now apparently out of a job. The Dolphins, meanwhile, are in serious need of a makeover, following the Incogn ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2014

    Jeff Ireland Out As Miami Dolphins General Manager

    After six long years of perpetual failure, ineptitude and building a team drenched in mediocrity, Jeff Ireland is no longer the general manager of your Miami Dolphins. The announcement that the Dolphins and Ireland had mutually agreed to part ways came Tuesday evening, one week after the NFL's so-c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2014

    Stephen Ross Lands at Miami Dolphins Training Facility in Helicopter; Is He Firing Someone?

    After a few days of pondering his next brilliant move, Stephen Ross appears to have made up his mind and moments ago landed at the Dolphins' training facility. ESPN's Adam Schefter has said numerous times on air that he believes coach Philbin's job is safe, but there is some doubt as to whether gene ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2013

    At Dolphins Game, Plane Flies Banner Calling for Ireland to Be Fired

    So, apparently, yesterday at the Miami Dolphins game, some fans were so passionate that they decided to enlist an expensive method of getting their message across -- an airplane carrying a banner. As broadcast on Twitter, fans could see this sign: There is a banner flying over #Dolphins stadium ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2013

    Sage Rosenfels, Former Dolphins QB, Calls Jeff Ireland Worst GM on Twitter

    Former Miami Dolphins quarterback Sage Rosenfels thinks Jeff Ireland is the worst GM in football and has taken to Twitter to say so. It doesn't take a genius to see that Ireland is terrible at his job. He's also kind of a jerk. This has been well-documented around these parts, what with his perpetu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Are a Dysfunctional Mess, Apparently

    Not that this should be a shocker for a franchise that has been perpetually stuck in 7-9 purgatory, but the Miami Dolphins are coming apart at the seams. This according to the Miami Herald's Armando Salguero. In a detailed blog post, Salguero chronicles the many internal issues going on with the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2013

    Seven Best Broward Ghosts

    Broward County has been the home to many a star and celebrity. But did you also know that many of those stars and celebrities are now dead? It's true! So how about we have ourselves a seance right here on The Pulp and conjure up the spirits of the seven best ghosts that haunt Broward County? /lig ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Mascot Celebrates 26-23 Loss to the Ravens

    The Miami Dolphins' late-game rally on Sunday fell short when kicker Caleb Sturgis' effort waffled wide left, handing the Fins their second consecutive loss, dropping them to 3-2 on the season. It was a bitter loss, leaving that all-too-familiar taste of defeat in Dolphins fans' mouths (tastes like ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Are 3-0: Seven Thoughts on the Victory Monday Pants Party!

    Your Miami Dolphins have exploded the collective assholes of the entire NFL by shooting out of the gate 3-0. Ryan Tannehill led the Fins to the 27-23 last-second victory against the Atlanta Falcons in what, at this point, has been the most exciting win in the Joe Philbin era. So sit back, relax, a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2013

    Dolphins Fans Start #DolphinsSitcoms Hashtag on Twitter; Hilarity Ensues

    Twitter. It's made for comedy gold. The Miami Dolphins. Also made for comedy gold. So it's only natural to combine the two. And that's exactly what Dolphins fans have decided to do on this work-weary hump day. To celebrate the Fins' perpetual mediocrity, Dolphins fans @ben01 playfully tweeted ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2013

    The 17 Worst Things To Happen To the Miami Dolphins

    The Miami Dolphins just recently lost their big-time free agent acquisition, tight end, Dustin Keller, to a horrific injury that tore the ACL, PCL, and MCL in his left knee. It's just the latest in many horrific blows that have nut-punched this team for over a decade. Some would say the team is cu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2013

    13 Best Tweets From the Miami Dolphins Losing to Dallas in Hall of Fame Game

    The Miami Dolphins opened up the 2013 NFL preseason by dropping what was a slopfest to the Dallas Cowboys 24-20 Sunday night. As part of the Hall of Fame Game, the Fins were poised to reveal their new-look uniforms, and a new-look team, bringing irrational, over-the-top enthusiasm for the fans, as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Draft Dion Jordan, And No One Knows If He's Going To Be Any Good

    The Dolphins supposedly really, really, ridiculously wanted Oregon defensive end Dion Jordan. So they traded down from the 12th spot to the 3rd spot, swapping picks with the Oakland Raiders, and also handing over their 42nd overall pick for the right to take Jordan. And while nobody really knows if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Are Drafting Everybody, According To the Experts

    The NFL Draf is tonight. And all the experts and pundits and analysts have weighed in on what exactly the Miami Dolphins will do with their 12th overall pick (earned by the blood, sweat and tears of yet another 7-9 finish). And the consensus is... the Dolphins will be selecting everyone tonight. M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2013

    Your Miami Dolphins Free Agency Update

    The Dolphins apparently went a little drunk-guy-at-the-strip-club and threw money all over the place Tuesday. Particularly, at Steelers receiver Mike Wallace and, surprisingly, at Ravens linebacker Dannell Ellerbe. But Jeff Ireland ain't done.And while the moves seem to reek of a desperate GM tryi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2013

    Mike Wallace Headed to the Dolphins, According to the Internet

    NFL free agency doesn't kick off until Tuesday at 4 p.m. which is both the most arbitrary time to schedule the start of free agency and a tad annoying to people that have to report these things (WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE MEDIA???). But that's not stopping rumors and reports from swirling endlessly.& ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Dave Hyde, the Sun Sentinel, and the Crap State of South Florida Sports Journalism

    The Sun Sentinel's Dave Hyde picked the wrong damned time to coddle Dan Marino. Five days before the New York Post broke the Marino love-child story, Hyde wrote a piece on the Dolphins quarterback's work with autism. And that's cool. However, the first paragraph in that column read thusly: People ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2013

    Stephen Ross' State of the Dolphins Address Revealed A Whole Lot of Nothing

    Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross met with local media on Monday to discuss the state of the franchise. And it was filled with clichés, talking points, and the nonsensical ramblings of a hobgoblin. In other words, it was exactly what you'd expect from a team that has gone 7-9, 7-9, 6-10 and 7-9 th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Finish 7-9 Yet Again; Somehow Jeff Ireland Is Still Employed

    In case you missed it, the Miami Dolphins got thoroughly pulverized with a sock full of pennies by the New England Patriots yesterday to the tune of 28-0, mercifully bringing the 2012 campaign to an end and ensuring yet another 7-9 season. Yet, on Black Monday -- the Monday following the regular se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2012

    Dolphins Lose to 49ers 27-13, Suffer Fourth-Straight Season of At Least Eight Losses

    Oh, hey. Look at that. The Dolphins lost again. At this point the inevitability of the Dolphins getting their asses pounded week in and week out, year in year out, should be old hat. These are, after all, the Miami Dolphins. And as the San Francisco 49ers punted the Fins' collective dicks to the t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Dolphins Get Roughed Up by Titans, 37-3

    The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2012

    Jeff Ireland Parody Song Reminds Us That Jeff Ireland Still Stinks

    The Dolphins might have won Sunday, and it looks like their quarterback situation might have been solved. But one fact remains unchanged: Jeff Ireland still sucks as a general manager. And now the the undaunted geniuses at #WAARF (via FinsNation.com), have come up with yet another parody s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2012

    Ryan Tannehill Sets Rookie Record, Dolphins Still Lose

    Ryan Tannehill threw for 431 yards. Brian Hartline caught 12 passes for 253 yards. Cameron Wake registered four sacks. And yet the Miami Dolphins still found a way to dip their balls in the soft serve ice cream machine and lose to the Arizona Cardinals 24-21 in overtime. It was the Fins' second c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2012

    Miami Dolphins at Arizona Cardinals Preview

    Remember when the 2012 NFL schedule was released and everybody saw Arizona on it and were all, LOLOLOL we're so gonna win that game? So much for that. The Cardinals are currently one of two undefeated teams at 3-0, in first place in their division, and a solid home team. They also have Larry Fitzg ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2012

    Karlos Dansby Says the 2012 Dolphins Have More Talent Than the 2008 Super Bowl Cardinals

    The 1-2 Miami Dolphins are in Arizona this weekend to face the 3-0 first-place Cardinals. During midweek interviews with the media, Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby, who was a member of the Cardinals 2008 Super Bowl team, told Arizona reporters that this current Dolphins team has more talent than ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2012

    Dolphins Fall in OT to the Jets

    The Miami Dolphins lost because they can no longer do the one thing this team was always only capable of doing -- kick field goals. And so the New York Jets came to town, managed to play like a sack of crap, and still pulled out the 23-20 victory, because our kicker forgot how to kick field goals, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 18, 2012

    Jeff Ireland Allegedly Called a Dolphins Fan an "Asshole" on Sunday UPDATED

    Miami Dolphins general manager is not a very popular guy around town (save maybe for a few still-loyal zombies here and there). And according to several fans who attended Sunday's Dolphins-Raiders game, he got supermad at a critical fan and called the fan an "asshole."Fans began to call in to the Er ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 13, 2012
  • Blogs

    September 12, 2012

    Dolphins' Daniel Thomas Passes Concussion Test, Still Won't Play Sunday

    Dolphins running back Daniel Thomas was bonked on the head during 30-10 loss against the Houston Texans last Sunday. He left the game with an apparent concussion and didn't return. But according to Orlando Alzugary of 640 Sports, Thomas passed his concussion test. However, according to Alzugary's s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 11, 2012

    Obama Rips the Miami Dolphins On Local Radio

    Barack Obama panders to no one! Especially not Dolphins fans because, well, that would be pretty stupid. Because they suck, you see. Obama made an appearance this morning on Pimp With A Limp DJ Laz on 106.7 FM where he did some campaigning. Because it's important to reach that Pimp With A Limp dem ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Preview: Innovators of Suck

    Your Miami Dolphins are set to kickoff the 2012 season this Sunday at Houston (a team, incidentally, they have never beaten ever in the entire existence of American tackle football history). If you haven't noticed, we're living in the golden age of pass-first football. Passing records are falling b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2012

    Hard Knocks Season Finale: The Tannehills Make a Table!

    Last night was the season finale of Hard Knocks, which means it's all downhill for the Miami Dolphins from here on out. As far as season finales go, this one was a weird amalgam of boring, sad, and -- for some inexplicable reason -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. With the first four episodes featuring ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2012

    Hard Knocks Episode 4: All Vontae Davis Wants to Do Is Call His Grandma

    Last night's episode of Hard Knocks was all heartache and Jeff Ireland. We saw the stark reality of players' dreams of playing professional football halted by the cruel, cutthroat world of the NFL. And we saw firsthand just how thoroughly Ireland sucks at his job. We also saw that, no matter wha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    Vontae Davis Traded to the Colts

    The Miami Dolphins traded former first-round pick and cornerback Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for two 2013 draft picks yesterday. That's right. Jeff Ireland just got a second-round pick and sixth-round pick for a guy he decided to draft over Clay Matthews, Hakeem Nicks, Kenny Britt, Patri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2012

    Miami Dolphins vs. Atlanta Falcons: Five Things To Look For

    With two pre-season games left to play, the Dolphins still have a lot of unanswered questions lingering like a drunk old man who won't leave the bar. Ryan Tannehill wonders who he'll be throwing to. Joe Philbin wonders if any of the bubble players will step up and earn a job. Jeff Ireland wonders i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2012

    Hard Knocks Episode 3: HUMP WEEK

    Last night's episode of Hard Knocks featured rookies singing, Reggie Bush leading, offensive linemen puking and a sad puppet.Most of all, it featured what might be the turning point in the franchise's future: Ryan Tannehill winning the starting quarterback job... and then offensive lineman Richie In ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Open Preseason Against Bucs: Five Things To Look For

    Your Miami Dolphins open their 2012 season tonight when they host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a pre-season matchup FUCK YEA. It's a whole new start (again!) for the Dolphins, as they unveil a new coaching regime (again!), a offensive scheme (again!), a new defensive scheme (again!) an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2012

    Joe Philbin Hates F-Bombs, Loves Seinfeld

    HBO's Hard Knocks featuring the Miami Dolphins debuted last night and filled us all with the inevitable feeling of false hope and overhyped enthusiasm for our shitty, shitty football team.But a reality show featuring the Fins is a nice change of pace from their old NORAD-like, supersecretive attitud ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2012

    Dolphins Rookie Ryan Tannehill Still a No-Show at Camp

    Your Miami Dolphins hit the practice field today for the opening of training camp for a whole new season of suck. Thus far, Matt Moore (aka THE PUPPET) has taken the first-team reps, while David Garrard is leading the second stringers.Conspicuously absent from the proceedings is first-round pick QB ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Bill Parcells May Have Been Fired, and He May Have Deserved It

    flickr.com​This week brought news that Bill Parcells is leaving his post as vice president of football operations for the Dolphins. Upon closer inspection, it sure seems like the Tuna was given the hook. And though he's nothing short of a football legend -- and it might sound almost sacrilegious t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2010

    Bill Parcells Out as Dolphins VP of Football Operations

    flickr.comParcells looking over training camp earlier this year.​The Miami Dolphins just issued a statement to the media saying that Jeff Ireland will "assume full control over all aspects and decisions in regard to the Miami Dolphin football team and support staff."Ireland, who had some trouble t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 12, 2010
  • Blogs

    April 27, 2010

    Ricky Williams is "Reconsidering" Retiring After 2010 Season

    flickr.com​At last night's South Florida premiere of his new documentary, Run Ricky Run, the Dolphins running back told a crowd of family, friends, fans, teammates, and coaches that he is "reconsidering" his decision to retire at the end of the 2010 season."My coach and general manager are here, s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2009

    Huizenga Defeats Obama

    In a press release just sent out over the wires, the Miami Dolphins announced that Stephen M. Ross now owns 95 percent of the franchise and Dolphin Stadium. Combined with the 50 percent of the team Ross purchased last February, Ross and Wayne Huizenga officially sealed the deal on an additiona ... More >>

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