Subject:

Joakim Noah

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2014

    Filomena Tobias, Miami Heat Middle Finger Lady, Changed Her Identity

    Filomena Tobias, the Palm Beach socialite that became Internet Famous after she was caught shooting an angry bird at the Bulls' Joakim Noah during last year's NBA playoffs, has sold her home and changed her name. She's the Keyser Söze of middle-finger ladies! According to a report, records show ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 29, 2014

    Heat Lose Game 5 in the Most Insufferable Way

    The Miami Heat fell 93-90 to the Indiana Pacers in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals match-up Wednesday night. Paul George had the game of his life, and the Pacers were able to muster a big performance to avoid elimination. Of course, it's much easier to win a game against the Miami Heat whe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2014

    Chris Bosh Wants NBA to Ban All Offensive Slurs, Not Just "N-Word"

    The NFL is close to implementing a new rule where the use of the N-word will be banned. This is more a less a reaction to the Dolphins' bullying scandal where Richie Incognito and others used racial slurs to taunt other players and a team trainer. The NFL rule would be enforced on the field, where t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 23, 2013

    Miami Heat to Wear Gold Uniforms on Opening Night

    The Miami Heat kicks off its run at a three-peat on October 29 (THAT'S, LIKE, A WEEK AWAY!) when it hosts the nonsmiling Derrick Rose and nonshowering Joakim Noah and rest of the Chicago Bulls. On that same night, the Heat will be unveiling its third NBA Finals Champions banner, which will be rais ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    Miami Heat Decides It's Had Enough of the Bulls, Proceeds to Destroy Them

    The Chicago Bulls, fresh off having their their asses blown off in Friday's game three, decided to go the ole "HEAD GAMES" route before last night's game four. The Bulls turned the tables on the narrative of this series -- that they can't score, so therefore they need to nail option B, which is to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2013

    Miami Heat Unleash Hell Fire Vengeance on Bulls in Game Two

    O HAI WORLD CHAMPION MIAMI HEAT BASKETBALL After losing by seven to the Chicago Bulls and choking away Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semi-finals on Monday, the Heat decided to stuff all the Fucks they could find into giant garden-sized Glad bags, went into the American Airlines Arena for Game 2, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2013

    Miami Heat Middle Finger Lady Was Once Accused of Killing Her Husband, Is Michael Jordan's Neighbor

    Turns out the woman caught shooting an angry bird at the Bulls' Joakim Noah as he walked to the locker room is a Palm Beach socialite named Filomena Tobias. And she has quite the cray story. Along with being a socialite, she's also the widow of hedge-funder Seth Tobias -- her fourth husband -- who ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2013

    Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Bulls

    Well now. That was a bit rough. A depleted Chicago Bulls came into the American Airlines Arena for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, saw fans clad in white, watched LeBron James receive his MVP trophy, and then went on to systematically bludgeon the world champs by having Joakim Noah sw ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2013

    Miami Heat Winning Streak Ends at 27

    Last night, the Chicago Bulls finally got revenge for the 1996 game in which a depleted Miami Heat team beat Michael Jordan's 72-win team 113-104 by ending the 2013 Heat's chase for the all-time NBA winning streak. With no Derrick Rose or Joakim Noah, the short-handed Bulls came out swinging agains ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2013

    Miami Heat Takes Down Bulls, Wins Ninth Straight

    The Miami Heat is currently riding a nine-game winning streak through a subtle yet delicate and refined mixture of sound fundamental basketball and relentlessly and mercilessly smashing opponents in the face. The latest victim of the maelstrom of ass-bludgeoning was the Chicago Bulls. Battling thr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2011

    Were Miami Heat Players Actually Crying After Yesterday's Game?

    We know from Tom Hanks' famous quote in A League of Their Own, "There is no crying in baseball!" But is there is crying in basketball?If you believe what Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra had to say after yesterday's close loss to the Bulls, yes, Heat players were shedding tears in the locker room af ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2010

    Hysterical D-Wade Rumor of the Year

    FlickrThey may be friends, but free agency will point D-Wade and LeBron in opposite directions.​According to an NBA general manager who spoke to ESPN, Dwyane Wade will join LeBron James and Chris Bosh in Chicago next season. I wonder if that unnamed GM is the Chicago Bulls' own Gar Forman, and if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 27, 2006
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