Subject:

Joe Philbin

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Lose All Their Running Backs in Bills Loss

    Well, it was fun while it lasted. The Miami Dolphins got their butts pounded by the Buffalo Bills on Sunday to the tune of 29-10. And while the offense did put up a little bit of a fight in the second half, it was mostly a disaster. Terrible passes, blocked punts, a kick-off returned for a TD, fou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2014

    Miami Dolphins: Five Things We Learned From Their Beatdown Over the Patriots

    They did it. They actually friggin' did it! The Miami Dolphins managed to overcome their own Dolphiningness and decimated the New England Patriots 33-20 to start the 2014 season with a bang. Miami wrecked the haters in the face and took names as they sacked Tom Brady, forced turnovers, and -- WAIT ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2014

    Six Reasons Dan Marino Being Hired by the Miami Dolphins Is Great News

    The big news over the weekend was that the Miami Dolphins have finally gone ahead and hired Hall of Fame quarterback and all-time Dolphin icon Dan Marino to a front-office job. The actual title of the job is "special advisor." And while that can literally mean just about anything, all indications s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2014

    Eight Types of Miami Dolphins Fans

    The Miami Dolphins are well into the preseason, facing off against the Buccaneers in Tampa on Saturday night. And that means football season is in full swing. And while kickoff is still a couple of weeks off, people are either excited, not excited, or just don't give a crap that the Dolphins are ab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2014

    Dolphins Suspension of Don Jones After Homophobic Tweets Was the Right Call

    It's getting to the point where it's almost become its own parody. But it's no joke. For the second time in a week, a Miami Dolphins player tweeted out something dumb concerning a player in the draft. Safety Don Jones tweeted out disapproving comments about Michael Sam -- the NFL's first openly gay ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2014

    9 Reasons Dan Marino Should Not Take Any Front Office Jobs with the Dolphins

    Hi Dan Marino. Hi. Hello. How are you? You might not remember me, but we met last year during a Miami Dolphins presser when they unveiled their new logo and uniforms. I was the guy who walked up to you and tried asking you a question but instead only managed to say something along the lines of, "D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2014

    Michael Sam Would Be Welcomed by Dolphins With Open Arms, Says Stephen Ross

    Earlier this week, Missouri defensive end Michael Sam's college coach said certain NFL teams would likely not accept him as the first openly gay pro football player. And then he went and cited the Miami Dolphins by name as one of those teams. Missouri head coach Gary Pinkel singled out the Dolphins ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2014

    Jeff Ireland Out As Miami Dolphins General Manager

    After six long years of perpetual failure, ineptitude and building a team drenched in mediocrity, Jeff Ireland is no longer the general manager of your Miami Dolphins. The announcement that the Dolphins and Ireland had mutually agreed to part ways came Tuesday evening, one week after the NFL's so-c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2013

    Jonathan Martin Was Fined By Teammates For Being Soft, According to Report

    As the Miami Dolphins are reeling coming off a week where they became the face of bullying in America, and then got their faces dented by the worst team in the league on Monday night, comes even more distressing news that Jonathan Martin was repeatedly fined for being soft. According to the report, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Are a Dysfunctional Mess, Apparently

    Not that this should be a shocker for a franchise that has been perpetually stuck in 7-9 purgatory, but the Miami Dolphins are coming apart at the seams. This according to the Miami Herald's Armando Salguero. In a detailed blog post, Salguero chronicles the many internal issues going on with the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Are 3-0: Seven Thoughts on the Victory Monday Pants Party!

    Your Miami Dolphins have exploded the collective assholes of the entire NFL by shooting out of the gate 3-0. Ryan Tannehill led the Fins to the 27-23 last-second victory against the Atlanta Falcons in what, at this point, has been the most exciting win in the Joe Philbin era. So sit back, relax, a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Dolphins Beat the Colts: Ten Thoughts on Going 2-0

    The Miami Dolphins went into Indianapolis and defeated the Colts 24-20 on Sunday. The Fins have started the season 2-0, and on the road, no less. This is something they haven't done since 2010, when they started that season by winning at Buffalo and then Minnesota. Sure, they inevitably ended tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2013

    5 Thoughts on the Dolphins Victory Over the Browns

    The Miami Dolphins faced the Browns to open the NFL season on Sunday and proceeded to hand the city of Cleveland more misery by taking the 23-10 win. It was a helluva way to start the season. A win is a rare things around these parts -- particularly an opening-weekend win. But, even as we all sett ... More >>

  • News

    August 15, 2013
  • Blogs

    August 9, 2013

    Five Reasons the Miami Dolphins Won't Suck Against the Jaguars Tonight

    The Miami Dolphins head into EverBank Field in Jacksonville tonight to take on the Jaguars for their second pre-season hoedown of 2013. Last week, against the Cowboys, the Fins looked as bad as a team that calls itself a professional football team could look. And while we know watching this team i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 29, 2013

    Dolphins Not Allowing Mike Pouncey to Apologize for "Free Hernandez" Hat, According to Brother

    Last week, Miami Dolphins center Mike Pouncey was given the opportunity to talk about his and twin-brother Maurkice's (of the Pittsburgh Steelers) "Free Hernandez" hat flap. Maurkice had apologized for the lapse in judgment days earlier, but when Mike was given the same opportunity by the media, h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2013

    Mike Pouncey Won't Address Wearing a "Free Hernandez" Hat, But Should He?

    Miami Dolphins center Mike Pouncey and his twin brother, Maurkice (of the Pittsburgh Steelers) had a photo taken at a Miami night club last week with the pair wearing hats that read "Free Hernandez" on them. The "Hernandez" in the hats, of course, is none other than their former Florida Gators team ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2013

    Mike Wallace Headed to the Dolphins, According to the Internet

    NFL free agency doesn't kick off until Tuesday at 4 p.m. which is both the most arbitrary time to schedule the start of free agency and a tad annoying to people that have to report these things (WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE MEDIA???). But that's not stopping rumors and reports from swirling endlessly.& ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2012

    Dolphins Crush Jaguars 24-3, Still Not Going to the Playoffs

    It's always nice to walk away from watching a Dolphins game and not feel like you just fell down and punctured your scrotum with your car keys. Sunday's game against the visiting Jacksonville Jaguars was such a day. Ryan Tannehill put together the best QB rating at 123.2, and completion percentage ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Dolphins Get Roughed Up by Titans, 37-3

    The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2012

    Dolphins Defeat Rams 17-14, Are Now Tied For First Place In Their Division

    The Dolphins are 3-3 and locked into a four-way tie with the rest of the AFC East. Which means either the Dolphins are good again, or the AFC East really, really sucks. Either way. While 3-3 is as mediocre as it gets in the NFL, it's still a vast improvement from the dog shit canon that used to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2012

    Dolphins Fall in OT to the Jets

    The Miami Dolphins lost because they can no longer do the one thing this team was always only capable of doing -- kick field goals. And so the New York Jets came to town, managed to play like a sack of crap, and still pulled out the 23-20 victory, because our kicker forgot how to kick field goals, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2012

    Dolphins Take Down Raiders 35-13

    Holy shit. The Dolphins won. Oh yes. They so did. The Miami Dolphins were able to go into Sunday's game against the Raiders and not do that thing where they play like a sack of ass, and were able to dismantle Oakland 35 -13, giving the FIns their first home opener victory since 2005. The win al ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 13, 2012
  • Blogs

    September 12, 2012

    Dolphins' Daniel Thomas Passes Concussion Test, Still Won't Play Sunday

    Dolphins running back Daniel Thomas was bonked on the head during 30-10 loss against the Houston Texans last Sunday. He left the game with an apparent concussion and didn't return. But according to Orlando Alzugary of 640 Sports, Thomas passed his concussion test. However, according to Alzugary's s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Preview: Innovators of Suck

    Your Miami Dolphins are set to kickoff the 2012 season this Sunday at Houston (a team, incidentally, they have never beaten ever in the entire existence of American tackle football history). If you haven't noticed, we're living in the golden age of pass-first football. Passing records are falling b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2012

    Hard Knocks Season Finale: The Tannehills Make a Table!

    Last night was the season finale of Hard Knocks, which means it's all downhill for the Miami Dolphins from here on out. As far as season finales go, this one was a weird amalgam of boring, sad, and -- for some inexplicable reason -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. With the first four episodes featuring ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2012

    Dolphins Finish Winless in Preseason

    In what is the least shocking news ever, the Miami Dolphins headed into Dallas yesterday and proceeded to get blasted in the face by a bazooka at the hands of the Cowboys to the tune of 30-13.So now the 2012 Dolphins join the 1966 and 1989 teams that went winless in the preseason. And if you look it ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2012

    Hard Knocks Episode 4: All Vontae Davis Wants to Do Is Call His Grandma

    Last night's episode of Hard Knocks was all heartache and Jeff Ireland. We saw the stark reality of players' dreams of playing professional football halted by the cruel, cutthroat world of the NFL. And we saw firsthand just how thoroughly Ireland sucks at his job. We also saw that, no matter wha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2012

    Jake Long Is Fine; Dolphins Still Suck

    Yesterday during Dolphins practice, left tackle Jake Long (aka "THE WARHAMMER") went down like a sack of hammers, continuing his yearly trend of getting injured just before the last game of the preseason. Long injured his right knee, and for a while there, the Dolphins feared he had d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2012

    Miami Dolphins vs. Atlanta Falcons: Five Things To Look For

    With two pre-season games left to play, the Dolphins still have a lot of unanswered questions lingering like a drunk old man who won't leave the bar. Ryan Tannehill wonders who he'll be throwing to. Joe Philbin wonders if any of the bubble players will step up and earn a job. Jeff Ireland wonders i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2012

    Hard Knocks Episode 3: HUMP WEEK

    Last night's episode of Hard Knocks featured rookies singing, Reggie Bush leading, offensive linemen puking and a sad puppet.Most of all, it featured what might be the turning point in the franchise's future: Ryan Tannehill winning the starting quarterback job... and then offensive lineman Richie In ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2012

    Ryan Tannehill Is Mixed Bag In Debut

    Ryan Tannehill got his first NFL start on Friday, and things went exactly as you'd expect them to go when it's the Miami Dolphins: not great.That's not to say Tannehill was a disaster. He was sharp, made nice throws, and showed a knack for the offense. It's just that the rest of the team is so shitt ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2012

    Ryan Tannehill Announced As Week 1 Starter For Dolphins

    Well, that didn't take long.Joe Philbin just spoiled tomorrow's episode of Hard Knocks because earlier this afternoon, he announced that rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill will be the Dolphins Week 1 starter. Let's everybody go crazy with irrational expectations! FUCK YEA!Taken with the eighth o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2012

    Hard Knocks Episode 2: Chad's Requiem & Penis Haircuts

    Last night's episode of Hard Knocks featured gut-wrenching moments, scrappy white receivers, Sean Smith shutting people down, David Garrard getting injured, Chad Johnson getting fired, and rookies getting cock-and-balls-shaped haircuts.It was a jam-packed episode. Here's your recap:

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2012

    Karlos Dansby Changed His Mind About Being Unhappy About the Dolphins Releasing Chad Johnson

    Yesterday morning, Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby went on Sid Rosenberg's morning show on 640 AM and said that the team releasing Chad Johnson is a bigger distraction than Johnson himself. Because Dansby figured the best thing he could possibly do to help avoid distractions was to go on sports ta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2012

    Chad Johnson Cut by Dolphins Following Domestic Violence Arrest

    A Walgreens receipt for a box of condoms and a head-butt inside a Smart Car have led the Dolphins to end the Chad Ochocinco/Johnson era in Miami. Just two months after joining his hometown team as a free agent, Johnson was released by the Miami Dolphins following his Saturday night arrest on a domes ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Open Preseason Against Bucs: Five Things To Look For

    Your Miami Dolphins open their 2012 season tonight when they host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a pre-season matchup FUCK YEA. It's a whole new start (again!) for the Dolphins, as they unveil a new coaching regime (again!), a offensive scheme (again!), a new defensive scheme (again!) an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2012

    Joe Philbin Hates F-Bombs, Loves Seinfeld

    HBO's Hard Knocks featuring the Miami Dolphins debuted last night and filled us all with the inevitable feeling of false hope and overhyped enthusiasm for our shitty, shitty football team.But a reality show featuring the Fins is a nice change of pace from their old NORAD-like, supersecretive attitud ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2012

    The Other Potential Dolphins Quarterback: What Happens if Peyton Manning Doesn't Pick Florida?

    ​Who the hell knows where former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is going to end up. With sports reporters wildly repeating whatever their perpetually unnamed sources are telling them, we've heard the Miami Dolphins' hopes of landing the star are "losing steam," that it's a two-horse race between ... More >>

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