Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco Tweeted Out That He's Been Accused of Rape

Jose Canseco, batshit former MLB player, steroid a aficionado and noted time traveler, took to Twitter today to announce that he had been charged with rape. The first tweet read as Canseco breaking the news to his own rape accusation, which is all kinds of mettamoron: "Breaking news this is a firs ... More >>

Jose Canseco Says He Knows How to Time-Travel, and Now You Can Too!

Jose Canseco has a knack for always tweeting out interesting things to his 482,520 or so followers on a daily basis. And by "interesting," we mean "batshit nutty." Yesterday, the steroid-drenched slugger took to Twitter and tweeted out this ominous message:"Yes time travel is possible. Will exp ... More >>

Jose Canseco Bankruptcy: Blames Government, Would Like to Keep His Bowling Ball

Disgraced South Florida baseball player Jose Canseco is in debt -- $1.69 million in debt, to be exact, most of it in taxes. But don't worry -- it's not the former MLB all-star's fault."The issue is very simple: If you've got friends and family, the more money you make the more you spend on them. So ... More >>

Jose Canseco Returns to Major League Baseball -- to Sell Old Milwaukee Beer (Video)

South Florida's favorite 'roid-pushing, Twitter-pontificating baseball meathead has made a triumphant return to major league baseball: During the MLB All-Star Game on Monday night, the Kansas City TV market got to see Miami's son, Jose Canseco. The first 40-40 man in history was there, right in the ... More >>

Wanted: Summer, Fall Journalism Interns

New Times Broward-Palm Beach is looking for writing interns for both the summer and fall semesters. Here's your chance, truth-speakers and blog-typers, to get some genuine newsroom experience, write about pretty much anything you want, and drink as much free coffee as you can fit into your face.Requ ... More >>

Jose Canseco Posts Exceptionally Insane Tweets, Also Somehow Got Sponsors

​It's not a secret that Jose Canseco, South Florida's most infamous meathead slugger turned reality-show washout, has a wildly popular Twitter account -- well over 400,000 followers eagerly awaiting the next 140 characters of weird, deluded complaining about how terrible and unjust it is that some ... More >>

Michelle Braun, Former Madam to the Stars, Charged in Boiler-Room Bust

Braun's BSO mug shot: A tad less glamorous than her madam days.​A former madam to the stars who supplied porn actresses and Playboy models to Tiger Woods for threesomes was arrested in South Florida this week. Michelle Braun, 33, is suspected of running a Fort Lauderdale-based boiler-room operatio ... More >>

Jose Canseco Sued by Shady Boxing Promoter, Hired by Obscure Baseball Team

​Jose Canseco recently added some absurdity to the strange saga of his life when he sent his twin brother, Ozzie, to fight in his place at a celebrity boxing match in Hollywood. It seemed like an old Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen plot on steroids. Taiwanese animators parodied the episode, along with ... More >>

Jose Canseco's Pathetic Life Story Now Available In Taiwanese Animation

via Next Media Animation​You probably remember that ridiculous story yesterday, about Jose Canseco sending his twin brother Ozzie to fight in his place at a celebrity boxing match. Well, like the Tiger Woods scandal, Charlie Sheen's antics and many other ridiculous stories about American celebriti ... More >>

Jose Canseco Still Sucks At Cheating: Caught Sending Twin Brother To Fight At Hard Rock Celebrity Boxing Match

Will the real Jose Canseco please stand up?​Jose Canseco, the steroid-abusing snitch who keeps slinging mud at former teammates, may have pissed off his last few fans on Saturday night. About 400 people sat disappointed at a Hollywood casino, when Canseco's celebrity boxing match was scrapped beca ... More >>

Will Rick Scott's War on Teachers Backfire?

Slow news day, investigating corruption story, so here are some random observations: Be very afraid ​-- Florida Gov. Rick Scott's war on public schools and teachers stinks -- and it will likely backfire on him in a big way. He wants to cut teachers' salaries by 5 percent while at the same tim ... More >>

Fantasy Baseball: What If the Legends Played the Asterisks?

Alex RodriguezIf baseball players like South Florida homeboy ARod can use banned substances to gain supernatural powers, it seems only fair that I should be able to call upon supernatural powers to reincarnate a group of the 20th Century's best: players who managed to post their sensational statisti ... More >>

Pain Coming To Herald Sentinel; Say No To Pudge

-- A couple weeks ago I shared a memo from Miami Herald publisher David Landsberg in which he announced that another round of layoffs was soon coming to the newspaper. He wasn't specific, but said the paper would try to limit the pain. Well, news from a Herald sister paper at McClatchy indicates the ... More >>

South Florida Sports Scene Tests Positive for Drugs, Sex, and Rocky Top

It was the weekend of positives, including a positive story about a plane crash. The most stimulating revelation came from a Sports Illustrated report that longtime Miami resident Alex Rodriguez tested positive for two different banned steroids during his 2003 MVP season with th ... More >>

UPDATED: What's In A Name?

Misery & Clemency

Or, 1,200 highway miles, ten days, nine baseball teams, six stadiums, five games, steroids, and a funeral

Catered to Death

A hard-charging wheeler-dealer, a catering perfectionist, and a bitterly dissatisfied wife -- it was a lethal mix