LeBron James

Miami Heat Decides It's Had Enough of the Bulls, Proceeds to Destroy Them

The Chicago Bulls, fresh off having their their asses blown off in Friday's game three, decided to go the ole "HEAD GAMES" route before last night's game four. The Bulls turned the tables on the narrative of this series -- that they can't score, so therefore they need to nail option B, which is to ... More >>

Miami Heat Unleash Hell Fire Vengeance on Bulls in Game Two

O HAI WORLD CHAMPION MIAMI HEAT BASKETBALL After losing by seven to the Chicago Bulls and choking away Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semi-finals on Monday, the Heat decided to stuff all the Fucks they could find into giant garden-sized Glad bags, went into the American Airlines Arena for Game 2, ... More >>

Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Bulls

Well now. That was a bit rough. A depleted Chicago Bulls came into the American Airlines Arena for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, saw fans clad in white, watched LeBron James receive his MVP trophy, and then went on to systematically bludgeon the world champs by having Joakim Noah sw ... More >>

LeBron James to Be Named MVP for Fourth Time

In the least shocking news in the history of forever, LeBron James is going to be named the 2013 NBA Most Valuable Player for the fourth time in his face-wrecking career. Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Wilt Chamberlain are the only other players with at least four MVP awards ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Brings The Ruckus as Heat Takes Game 2 Against Bucks

The Milwaukee Bucks proved to be a feisty bunch as they tried to even their best-of-seven series with the Miami Heat on Tuesday night. Even with Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis struggling for most of the game, Ersan Ilyasova, Larry Sanders, and Luc Mbah a Moute proved to be just an irksomely itchy ... More >>

Nike LeBron X Elite Kicks to Be Released to the Masses Next Week

With the 2013 NBA playoffs a mere week away, it's time to see what LeBron James will be wearing as he prepares to obliterate defenders and defend his and the Heat's crown as Biggest Badasses in All the Land (or, as most would call it, NBA Finals Champions). With that, Nike has, of course, unveiled t ... More >>

Pat Riley Wants the Miami Heat to Keep Destroying the NBA for Another Ten Seasons

As LeBron James has plowed through the league in a Heat uniform, laying waste to NBA teams and haters since arriving in the summer of 2010, one nagging "report" has continued to nag at the center of it all: LeBron might opt out of his 2014 Miami Heat contract and go back to Cleveland! While those i ... More >>

Jim Larranaga Dancing, Heat Winning Streak, FGCU: Florida Is Suddenly The Mecca of Basketball

In what has become the perfect storm of face-smashing dunks, fearsome jumpers, and all-around hardwood awesomeness, Florida is right now, officially, the mecca of basketball. Thanks to the Miami Heat, Miami Hurricanes Men's basketball team, and the rise of the mightiest of underdogs in Florida Gulf ... More >>

Fan Who Ran on Court During Heat Game Really, Really Loves LeBron James

As you can no doubt recall, a crazy-ass fan ran onto the court during the Heat-Cavs game Wednesday night. It was just one of the plethora of The Crazy that happened in Miami's 98-95 win over Cleveland. The fan, donning a T-shirt that basically carried a message to LeBron that Cleveland misses him a ... More >>

LeBron James and the Miami Heat Are a Walking Epic Poem: Miami Overcomes 27-Point Deficit to Win 24th Straight

The Cleveland Cavaliers tried everything to end the Miami Heat's record-setting win streak on Wednesday night. They tried the ole "weird oily substance that leaks from the ceiling and delays the game for 35 minutes" trick. They tried the "crazy fan runs onto the court in the middle of the game wit ... More >>

LeBron James Is Glad It Was Jason Terry He Obliterated With That Dunk

Unless you've been trapped under something (or someone) heavy the past 24 hours, you've seen the video of LeBron James utterly destroying Celtics bigmouth Jason Terry with something that can only be described as The Dunk of Annihilation. Because the internet is an awesome place, video of the dunk i ... More >>

Miami Heat Wrecks Celtic Ass as It Earns Record 23rd-Straight Win

The Miami Heat walked into the all-consuming ocean of douche and insufferableness that is Boston's TD Garden Monday night and laid its record-setting 22-game winning streak on the line. The Celtics were ready from the GO and came at the Heat with a furious effort that spawned a career night for Jef ... More >>

Miami Heat Makes It 20 Wins in a Row

Things started pretty much how you'd expect from a team heading into its second night of a back-to-back road set for the Miami Heat on Wednesday night. And the Philadelphia 76ers were more than ready and willing to clobber the Heat with a snow shovel to the face and be the team to end Miami's soul- ... More >>

Atkins-Grad Lives to See Another Day, Jordan Gets Hitched, LeBron Is LeBron

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm.  

LeBron James Ruined New York's Good Times

DIS WUZ SAPPOS'D TAH BE DA SUMMAH O' NEW YOAWK. DA YEAH DA KNICKS BRAWT LARRY OH BRY-YAN BACK TA DA MEKKA -- DA GAHDEN. MELO AND JAY AHH SMITH WERE GONNA RESTOAH GLOREE TA DA GREATEST CITY ON DA FACE O'DA EARF! SIMPLY BY VIRTUW OF BEIN DA KNICKS. WUTDAFUCKHAPPEN'D? It might be hard for Knicks fans ... More >>

Miami Heat Harlem Shake. Oh Yes.

Your world champion Miami Heat have hit up their own version of the internet viral dance craze Harlem Shake. LeBron James tweeted it out Thursday evening as a "King James and Dwyane Wade production." And it is glorious. It has all the ingredients of pure unadulterated awesome: LeBron dressed as ... More >>

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade Brought the Ruckus Against the Feisty Sacramento Kings

The Sacramento Kings putting up 129 points on the Miami Heat at the Triple-A and forcing two overtimes is as absurd as IKEA selling meat. And yet, there it is. The Kings came into Miami's house, put their feet up on the table, ate all the food, and scratched their balls on our couch. A feisty bunc ... More >>

LeBron James Won the NBA Dunk Contest Forever

The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or gif of the day. So there was LeBron James, goofing off with his teammates, watching them dunk during pre-game warmups before the Heat's matchup against the Cleveland Cavaliers on Sunday, when all of a sudden, HE COMPLETELY HALTED ALL SPACE AND TIME ... More >>

Miami Heat Takes Down Bulls, Wins Ninth Straight

The Miami Heat is currently riding a nine-game winning streak through a subtle yet delicate and refined mixture of sound fundamental basketball and relentlessly and mercilessly smashing opponents in the face. The latest victim of the maelstrom of ass-bludgeoning was the Chicago Bulls. Battling thr ... More >>

Miami Heat Start Second Half of Season With Takedown of Hawks

There's always concern when a team on a hot streak gets assaulted by the NBA All-Star game and everyone's gotta stop playing so the media can make a big deal out of Kobe Bryant's blocking LeBron James' shot in the most meaningless game of the year. And that concern was not immediately alleviated wh ... More >>

LeBron James and the Heat Smash the OKC Thunder 110-100

The Oklahoma City Thunder are among the best, most dangerous teams in the NBA. Particularly on their home floor, where they storm the court like bloodthirsty grizzly bears, frothing at the mouth, scoring at will and laying waste NBA teams that dare walk onto Chesapeake Energy Arena to take them on. ... More >>

LeBron James Refuses to Stop Being Awesome

Thirty points and 60 percent shooting. In six straight games. That's all LeBron's been up to lately. No one else has ever done that in the history of the NBA. And so, LeBron James is in the record books. Again. Because it's important to have his face-melting, carnage-inducing, soul-cru ... More >>

An Open Letter to LeBron James to Join the Nuggets' Kenneth Faried and Fight Against Homophobia

Hey, LeBron James. Hi. Hello. How are you? See the news about the Denver Nuggets' Kenneth Faried being the first NBA player to take a stand against homophobia? It's true! The Manimal has joined Athlete Ally, an organization that combats homophobia in all sports, and he's hoping other pro ath ... More >>

LeBron James and Dwayne Wade Tag Team the Lakers 107-97

LeBron James has  demonstrated such deity-like powers lately, the Pope said, "Ah fuck it. I quit."Throughout his career as an indomitable nard crushing baller, LeBron has repeatedly demonstrated his astonishing ability to cock punch his opponents unconscious while simultaneously lighting them o ... More >>

LeBron James: Ohio Rejects Vanity Plates Expressing Hatred for LBJ

Apparently Ohioans being butthurt about LeBron James leaving Cleveland to join the Miami Heat is still a thing. So much so that the State of Ohio has been receiving requests for vanity plates that express hatred for all things LeBron. Because it's not enough to call a sports talk radio show or bur ... More >>

LeBron James Near Perfect as Heat Defeats Bobcats 99-94

As we've pointed out here before, LeBron James' game is more than just taking shots and making dunks. It is insanely balls-out efficient. Last night against the visiting Charlotte Bobcats, LeBron showed that his massive efficiency grades were currently at gamma ray levels, going 13-for-14 -- a nut ... More >>

LeBron James Eviscerated Reggie Evans During and After Their Game Last Night

Remember when Brooklyn Nets forward Reggie Evans did that thing where he trash-talked LeBron James and the Heat before their game yesterday? Evans basically said that the Heat's title is tainted and that LeBron James is no different from Joe Johnson and Andray Blatche. See also: Reggie Evans Says ... More >>

Reggie Evans Says the Miami Heat's Title Proves Nothing

An NBA player who's more famous for grabbing another player's dick than his actual game, went and said some dumb stuff about the Miami Heat and LeBron James. Brooklyn Nets power forward Reggie Evans told reporters that he doesn't think much of the Heat's championship, and that LeBron is basically ... More >>

Obama to Honor the Miami Heat for Being the Most Awesome Basketball Team on the Planet

As you may have heard, the Miami Heat are kind of a big deal. In that the team eradicates anyone and anything that gets in its way of winning basketball games. And, as you may have heard, the Miami Heat won the NBA title last year. So, as is custom in this great nation of ours, the President of th ... More >>

LeBron James, James Tracy, and a Muslim Cleric Walk Into an Appletini Bar

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., a statistical flow chart documenting which of your buddies' "girlfriends" you've actually seen in person).

LeBron James Outduels Kobe Bryant as Heat Defeats Lakers 99-90

Whenever a showdown between LeBron James and Kobe Bryant goes down, the suddenly-not-all-that-important regular season becomes ALL IMPORTANT. That's because Kobe apologists and Laker fans crawl out of the woodwork to remind everyone that he has RINGZZZ and is so badass he nicknamed himself Mamba. ... More >>

LeBron James Will Be the Youngest to Hit 20,000 Career Points Tonight

Barring an unforeseen incident -- say, an asteroid colliding with the Earth, or Xenu attacking the planet with his intergalactic army, or Godzilla wanting to eat San Francisco -- LeBron James is set to reach 20,000 career points tonight when the Heat visit the Golden State Warriors. Also, LeBr ... More >>

LeBron James Almost Killed a Dude With One of His Laser Passes

If you're too busy still hating LeBron James, then you really are missing out on enjoying a player we pretty much haven't seen in a long time, if ever. As he did last season, James is quietly dominating the NBA with his basketball awesomeness, earning his second-straight NBA Player of the Month, an ... More >>

Miami Heat Takes Down OKC on Christmas Day, 103-97

Throughout the early part of the NBA season, the men of the Miami Heat played basketball games like they were simply hoarding their fucks for the impending Mayan Apocalypse. Their defense was terrible. Their shooting, erratic. Their desire, seemingly lacking. But, since Christmas is a time of gi ... More >>

LeBron James Named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year

In the least shocking news of the entire history of human persons, Sports Illustrated has named LeBron James the 2012 Sportsman of the Year. All LeBron pretty much did this year is cleave the earth with his astounding awesomeness by winning his first NBA title for your Miami Heat, won his third NBA ... More >>

LeBron James Exploded on the Rockets Last Night

We've seen it before. And yet, every time he does it, it's like witnessing a supernova in person for the very first time. It may take some work to grapple with LeBron's awesomeness. Breaking down his game might be counterintuitive. Only because, even though we think we've seen this kind of game be ... More >>

NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Beat the Lakers in the Finals

NBA.com took their annual general manager survey recently and, according to the consensus, the Miami Heat will repeat as NBA champions, this time beating the L.A. Lakers. The thirty GMs of the NBA were asked 57 questions with topics ranging from who will win the MVP, to best off-season moves, to be ... More >>

LeBron James Will Be Targeted by the Lakers, According to Unspecified NBA Execs

According to ESPN.com's Brian Windhorst, some NBA executives believe the L.A. Lakers are going to target the Miami Heat's LeBron James when he becomes a free agent in 2014, because of reasons. The Lakers are very good at building championship contenders, like they did this off-season when they trad ... More >>

NBA Plans to Fine Floppers: Five of Lebron James' Greatest Flops

The NBA is finally taking a stand against grown men getting paid millions of dollars to act like giant babies whenever an opponent brushes up against them. Starting this season, floppers get fined. First flop equals a warning. Second flop leads to a $5000 fine. Flop five times, and the fine jum ... More >>

Charles Barkley Says LeBron James Can Be Better Than Michael Jordan

Looks like Charles Barkley is done trolling the Heat, because now he thinks LeBron James can be better than Michael Jordan."First of awl... gimme a cheese bergar..." After spending the past two seasons ripping LeBron and the Heat -- saying God is a Mavericks fan, cheering for Heat to lose and calli ... More >>

LeBron James Is Apparently A Heroin Brand Name

Upper Darby police in Philadelphia busted a major heroin dealer who who reportedly had 140 packets of smack labeled, "LeBron James." The packets include a silhouette of a man dunking a basketball. Kind of like Michael Jordan's Jumpman logo, except with dark circles around the eyes, constant licki ... More >>

LeBron James Scores First Triple-Double in Olympic History

The 2012 Summer Olympics just got COBRADICK'D.LeBron James went into yesterday's quarterfinal match against Australia and dropped 11 points, 14 rebounds and 12 assists in the 119-86 beatdown of the Aussies. His 12 assists tied tied Olympic records held by Phil Ford, Leon Wodd and some dude named Mic ... More >>

Weird LeBron James Memorabilia: The Good, the Bad, the Outrageously Overpriced

Right now, someone is trying to sell an autographed LeBron James jersey on Ebay for $14,999, or roughly a down payment on a condo. It's a white Cleveland jersey from James' rookie year, and he apparently wore it during a game.Given that I have as much financial savvy as a badger ... More >>

The King Takes on the Jester

Nielsen Poll: LeBron James No Longer a Marketing Superstar

Not so long ago, LeBron James could sell anything from Vitamin Water to Nike sneakers simply by treading water in a swimming pool.Now, the Miami Heat star's popularity has declined so drastically that he's no longer one of the top 10 most marketable players in the NBA, according to the latest Nielse ... More >>

International I Hate LeBron Day (Video Version)

Many hilarious videos were made in his honor.​This weekend, as dusk gathered before the fireworks on July 4, a group of my friends went to play basketball in a West Palm Beach park. A lone player was shooting hoops on the court beside us. He was short, with a compact frame and reddish hair, and he ... More >>

Top Three LeBron James/Miami Heat Memes to Commemorate the NBA Finals

LeBron James plays to the tune of his tiny violin.​LeBron James brought his talents to Miami this year to complete what should have been the first ultimate triumvirate the NBA has ever seen.James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh were hailed as superheroes who were going to lead the Miami Heat to champ ... More >>

A Vocabulary Lesson in Honor of LeBron James' Defeat

Together at last, Wade and James crashed.​​Maverick (noun): An independent individual who does not go along with a group or party.Cavalier (noun): A gentleman trained in arms and horsemanship. Hubris (noun): Exaggerated pride or self-confidence, e.g. LeBron James. Not to belabor the point, but l ... More >>

How a LeBron Hater Learned to Stop Loathing the Miami Heat

It's tough to hate Dwyane Wade. ​Let's get one thing clear: I'm still angry with LeBron James. I think he's arrogant, immature, and full of an inflated sense of importance that was, ironically, fed by years of hero worship in his hometown of Cleveland. His decision to use a nationally televised ES ... More >>

New York Times Blasts Heat Fans for Mojitos and Empty Seats

Too many empty seats greet Heat stars.​What's the problem, Miami Heat fans? Are you too busy sipping mojitos and grazing on patatas bravas to get your butts in the seats on time? Is it the economy? Do you secretly hate LeBron James as much as the rest of the country does?These are the allegations ... More >>