Subject:

LeBron James

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2013

    LeBron James and Dwayne Wade Tag Team the Lakers 107-97

    LeBron James has  demonstrated such deity-like powers lately, the Pope said, "Ah fuck it. I quit."Throughout his career as an indomitable nard crushing baller, LeBron has repeatedly demonstrated his astonishing ability to cock punch his opponents unconscious while simultaneously lighting them o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2013

    LeBron James: Ohio Rejects Vanity Plates Expressing Hatred for LBJ

    Apparently Ohioans being butthurt about LeBron James leaving Cleveland to join the Miami Heat is still a thing. So much so that the State of Ohio has been receiving requests for vanity plates that express hatred for all things LeBron. Because it's not enough to call a sports talk radio show or bur ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2013

    LeBron James Near Perfect as Heat Defeats Bobcats 99-94

    As we've pointed out here before, LeBron James' game is more than just taking shots and making dunks. It is insanely balls-out efficient. Last night against the visiting Charlotte Bobcats, LeBron showed that his massive efficiency grades were currently at gamma ray levels, going 13-for-14 -- a nut ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2013

    LeBron James Eviscerated Reggie Evans During and After Their Game Last Night

    Remember when Brooklyn Nets forward Reggie Evans did that thing where he trash-talked LeBron James and the Heat before their game yesterday? Evans basically said that the Heat's title is tainted and that LeBron James is no different from Joe Johnson and Andray Blatche. See also: Reggie Evans Says ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    Reggie Evans Says the Miami Heat's Title Proves Nothing

    An NBA player who's more famous for grabbing another player's dick than his actual game, went and said some dumb stuff about the Miami Heat and LeBron James. Brooklyn Nets power forward Reggie Evans told reporters that he doesn't think much of the Heat's championship, and that LeBron is basically ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2013

    Obama to Honor the Miami Heat for Being the Most Awesome Basketball Team on the Planet

    As you may have heard, the Miami Heat are kind of a big deal. In that the team eradicates anyone and anything that gets in its way of winning basketball games. And, as you may have heard, the Miami Heat won the NBA title last year. So, as is custom in this great nation of ours, the President of th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    LeBron James, James Tracy, and a Muslim Cleric Walk Into an Appletini Bar

    The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., a statistical flow chart documenting which of your buddies' "girlfriends" you've actually seen in person).

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    LeBron James Outduels Kobe Bryant as Heat Defeats Lakers 99-90

    Whenever a showdown between LeBron James and Kobe Bryant goes down, the suddenly-not-all-that-important regular season becomes ALL IMPORTANT. That's because Kobe apologists and Laker fans crawl out of the woodwork to remind everyone that he has RINGZZZ and is so badass he nicknamed himself Mamba. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2013

    LeBron James Will Be the Youngest to Hit 20,000 Career Points Tonight

    Barring an unforeseen incident -- say, an asteroid colliding with the Earth, or Xenu attacking the planet with his intergalactic army, or Godzilla wanting to eat San Francisco -- LeBron James is set to reach 20,000 career points tonight when the Heat visit the Golden State Warriors. Also, LeBr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2013

    LeBron James Almost Killed a Dude With One of His Laser Passes

    If you're too busy still hating LeBron James, then you really are missing out on enjoying a player we pretty much haven't seen in a long time, if ever. As he did last season, James is quietly dominating the NBA with his basketball awesomeness, earning his second-straight NBA Player of the Month, an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2012

    Miami Heat Takes Down OKC on Christmas Day, 103-97

    Throughout the early part of the NBA season, the men of the Miami Heat played basketball games like they were simply hoarding their fucks for the impending Mayan Apocalypse. Their defense was terrible. Their shooting, erratic. Their desire, seemingly lacking. But, since Christmas is a time of gi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2012

    LeBron James Named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year

    In the least shocking news of the entire history of human persons, Sports Illustrated has named LeBron James the 2012 Sportsman of the Year. All LeBron pretty much did this year is cleave the earth with his astounding awesomeness by winning his first NBA title for your Miami Heat, won his third NBA ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 13, 2012

    LeBron James Exploded on the Rockets Last Night

    We've seen it before. And yet, every time he does it, it's like witnessing a supernova in person for the very first time. It may take some work to grapple with LeBron's awesomeness. Breaking down his game might be counterintuitive. Only because, even though we think we've seen this kind of game be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2012

    NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Beat the Lakers in the Finals

    NBA.com took their annual general manager survey recently and, according to the consensus, the Miami Heat will repeat as NBA champions, this time beating the L.A. Lakers. The thirty GMs of the NBA were asked 57 questions with topics ranging from who will win the MVP, to best off-season moves, to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2012

    LeBron James Will Be Targeted by the Lakers, According to Unspecified NBA Execs

    According to ESPN.com's Brian Windhorst, some NBA executives believe the L.A. Lakers are going to target the Miami Heat's LeBron James when he becomes a free agent in 2014, because of reasons. The Lakers are very good at building championship contenders, like they did this off-season when they trad ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2012

    NBA Plans to Fine Floppers: Five of Lebron James' Greatest Flops

    The NBA is finally taking a stand against grown men getting paid millions of dollars to act like giant babies whenever an opponent brushes up against them. Starting this season, floppers get fined. First flop equals a warning. Second flop leads to a $5000 fine. Flop five times, and the fine jum ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2012

    Charles Barkley Says LeBron James Can Be Better Than Michael Jordan

    Looks like Charles Barkley is done trolling the Heat, because now he thinks LeBron James can be better than Michael Jordan."First of awl... gimme a cheese bergar..." After spending the past two seasons ripping LeBron and the Heat -- saying God is a Mavericks fan, cheering for Heat to lose and calli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2012

    LeBron James Is Apparently A Heroin Brand Name

    Upper Darby police in Philadelphia busted a major heroin dealer who who reportedly had 140 packets of smack labeled, "LeBron James." The packets include a silhouette of a man dunking a basketball. Kind of like Michael Jordan's Jumpman logo, except with dark circles around the eyes, constant licki ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2012

    LeBron James Scores First Triple-Double in Olympic History

    The 2012 Summer Olympics just got COBRADICK'D.LeBron James went into yesterday's quarterfinal match against Australia and dropped 11 points, 14 rebounds and 12 assists in the 119-86 beatdown of the Aussies. His 12 assists tied tied Olympic records held by Phil Ford, Leon Wodd and some dude named Mic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2012

    Weird LeBron James Memorabilia: The Good, the Bad, the Outrageously Overpriced

    Right now, someone is trying to sell an autographed LeBron James jersey on Ebay for $14,999, or roughly a down payment on a condo. It's a white Cleveland jersey from James' rookie year, and he apparently wore it during a game.Given that I have as much financial savvy as a badger ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 19, 2012
  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Nielsen Poll: LeBron James No Longer a Marketing Superstar

    Not so long ago, LeBron James could sell anything from Vitamin Water to Nike sneakers simply by treading water in a swimming pool.Now, the Miami Heat star's popularity has declined so drastically that he's no longer one of the top 10 most marketable players in the NBA, according to the latest Nielse ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 8, 2011

    International I Hate LeBron Day (Video Version)

    Many hilarious videos were made in his honor.​This weekend, as dusk gathered before the fireworks on July 4, a group of my friends went to play basketball in a West Palm Beach park. A lone player was shooting hoops on the court beside us. He was short, with a compact frame and reddish hair, and he ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2011

    Top Three LeBron James/Miami Heat Memes to Commemorate the NBA Finals

    LeBron James plays to the tune of his tiny violin.​LeBron James brought his talents to Miami this year to complete what should have been the first ultimate triumvirate the NBA has ever seen.James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh were hailed as superheroes who were going to lead the Miami Heat to champ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2011

    A Vocabulary Lesson in Honor of LeBron James' Defeat

    Together at last, Wade and James crashed.​​Maverick (noun): An independent individual who does not go along with a group or party.Cavalier (noun): A gentleman trained in arms and horsemanship. Hubris (noun): Exaggerated pride or self-confidence, e.g. LeBron James. Not to belabor the point, but l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2011

    How a LeBron Hater Learned to Stop Loathing the Miami Heat

    It's tough to hate Dwyane Wade. ​Let's get one thing clear: I'm still angry with LeBron James. I think he's arrogant, immature, and full of an inflated sense of importance that was, ironically, fed by years of hero worship in his hometown of Cleveland. His decision to use a nationally televised ES ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    New York Times Blasts Heat Fans for Mojitos and Empty Seats

    Too many empty seats greet Heat stars.​What's the problem, Miami Heat fans? Are you too busy sipping mojitos and grazing on patatas bravas to get your butts in the seats on time? Is it the economy? Do you secretly hate LeBron James as much as the rest of the country does?These are the allegations ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 13, 2011

    Gloria James Sued for Alleged Slapping Incident But Video Footage Shows Valet Might Have Provoked Her

    ​Gloria James, LeBron James' mother, has been slapped with a lawsuit by the Miami Beach parking valet, who she allegedly slapped across the face last week, according to the gossip website TMZ.James was arrested after the incident at about 5:00 a.m. last Thursday, and charged with simple battery a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 6, 2011

    LeBron James' Face Plastered Around Miami Boys and Girls Club

    Photo by Rebecca MeiserYes, James has a furniture line.​The Decision ESPN special that heralded LeBron James' move from Cleveland to Miami last summer highlighted two sides of the NBA superstar: his ego, and his generosity.Although it inspired ridicule and resentment in many longtime fans, the one ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 30, 2011

    King LeBron James Gets Trounced by Cleveland Cavaliers

    It hurts, LeBron, doesn't it?​So this is what karma looks like.Last night, LeBron James arrived at the Quicken Loans arena in Cleveland wearing a T-shirt that said "Long Live the King." That kind of hubris doesn't go over well in the Paris of the Rust Belt. Especially not when you are the fallen h ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 17, 2011
  • Blogs

    March 7, 2011

    Were Miami Heat Players Actually Crying After Yesterday's Game?

    We know from Tom Hanks' famous quote in A League of Their Own, "There is no crying in baseball!" But is there is crying in basketball?If you believe what Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra had to say after yesterday's close loss to the Bulls, yes, Heat players were shedding tears in the locker room af ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 27, 2011
  • Blogs

    January 20, 2011

    The LeBrons: Can LeBron James' New Cartoon Change His Karma?

    ​After dominating the NBA for all of December, the Miami Heat has fallen back to Earth. Since LeBron James' now-ironic "Karma" tweet -- and subsequent injury -- the team has lost four straight games -- and 13 for the year. (That means 70 wins is now out of the question.) Yes, LeBron's popularity i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2011

    LeBron James Tweets About Cleveland's Epic Loss: "Karma Is a B****" (UPDATE)

    flickr.comEmbracing his new bad guy persona...​As the Miami Heat has hit a stride of domination over the past few weeks, LeBron James has said publicly that he's beginning to enjoy his new "villain" role. (Especially, it seems, when it comes to the King's former kingdom.) And to that end, last nig ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2010

    Merry "Quitness": Cleveland (Still) Hates LeBron James

    LeBron James just led the Miami Heat to a 12-game winning streak, but that doesn't mean his hometown fans in Cleveland have forgiven him for deserting them. "The 12 Days of Quitness" features King James as an elf, a chorus chant of "He sold us out on national TV," and throwaway insults such as, "H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2010

    LeBron James Sparks Nasty War of Words Among Nation's Top Magazine Writers

    ​Never has the word dickwad been used with such eloquence. If you don't frequent the journalism aggregate website Gangrey.com, you are missing out on some of the best writing in the country (in addition to an occasional New Times story).But more recently, you've been missing a very entertaining (a ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 9, 2010
  • Blogs

    December 3, 2010

    LeBron James Has No Hard Feelings

    Maybe, LeBron just wants to be loved.​LeBron James returned to Cleveland last night for the much-anticipated Miami Heat versus Cleveland Cavs game. From the moment the "Chosen 1" stepped foot on the court, Cavaliers fans booed his every movement. Despite all the negative attention toward Jame ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2010

    Five Better Things for LeBron James to Bump Into

    Photo Courtesy of Wikipedia CommonsLeBron in Hulk mode​LeBron James caused a ruckus last week during the Heat's November 27 game against the Dallas Mavericks. A video surfaced shortly after showing LeBron bumping into Head Coach Erik Spoelstra -- perhaps on purpose.C'mon, LeBron, violence isn't th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2010

    How Immature Is LeBron James?

    LeBron James bumps shoulders, not fists.​Could it be that LeBron James and Chris Bosh are too immature to handle their rising fame? The two could have been part of a real dream team if they weren't living up to their young ages of 25 and 26. Thanks to recent videos, Miami Heat fans are starting to ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 25, 2010
  • News

    October 28, 2010
  • Blogs

    October 25, 2010

    Top Five LeBron James Poems as Tweeted Over the Weekend

    Congratulations to Justin Milone, one of the six finalists.​The six finalists for the WLRN Miami Herald Radio LeBron James poetry contest will be announced today in the sports section of the Miami Herald.But before any finalists were chosen the contest's coordinators had to sift through more than ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2010

    Updated: Write a Poem for WLRN Miami Herald to Commemorate LeBron's Arrival

    Wikipedia CommonsOh LeBron, you inspire our inner poet.Update: The Miami Heat has decided it wants no part in the judging and therefore neither does LeBron James. This decision came because the event was coordinated without the team's input.Want LeBron James to check you out? You may only need to wr ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 30, 2010
  • Blogs

    September 30, 2010

    Donate LeBron James Jerseys to Miami's Homeless, Win Game Seats

    ​At the beginning of September, the Juice's Lisa Rab wrote about how a group of Ohioans were collecting LeBron James' Cavs jersey to donate to Miami's homeless population. After that idea was halted by "politics," our sister paper Miami New Times took the matter into its own hands.The kind fo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2010

    LeBron Consults Celeb Rabbi Pinto, Becomes True SoFla Mogul

    TMZ.com​If TMZ is correct and LeBron James paid Rabbi Yishayahu Yosef Pinto to sit in on a business meeting yesterday, then the Heat star is officially courting South Florida mogul status.What better way to ingratiate himself to his new hometown than meet with a celeb rabbi known for providing bus ... More >>

  • Calendar

    July 29, 2010
  • Blogs

    July 9, 2010

    Broward Voter Apathy Gets Cartoon Treatment

    Does the average Broward voter care more about going to Sawgrass Mills and getting LeBron James than being robbed blind by dirty politicians? Well... yes. To quote another satirical cartoon character, Homer Simpson, "It's funny because it's true!"The video above uses the same text-to-movie software ... More >>

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