Mario Chalmers

LeBron James Has Milwaukee Bucks and the NBA Behold His Works and Despair

While the Miami Heat has won 110-87 and taken a 1-0 series lead over the Milwaukee Bucks in the first round of the NBA Playoffs, it's pretty safe to say this one was over before it began. Not just the game. The whole damned series. This Heat team and, more to the point, LeBron James, are not ju ... More >>

Miami Heat 2013 Ass-Wrecking Tour Part II Starts Sunday

Here we go, Heat fans.Now that the regular season is over, and the Miami Heat competed a team-best 66-win season, and all the media-myth created nonsense about LeBron James being a choker is over and done with, and all the media-myth created nonsense about Heat fans being the worst fanbase in the NB ... More >>

Chris Bosh, Miami Heat Take Down San Antonio Spurs Without LeBron James and Dwyane Wade

Prior to Sunday's big-time-holy-crap-it's-maybe-a-possible-NBA-Finals-preview game against the mighty San Antonio Spurs, Miami Heat Head Coach Erik Spoelstra announced that the team would be without LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Mario Chalmers. All three were apparently dinged up and in need of re ... More >>

LeBron James and the Miami Heat Are a Walking Epic Poem: Miami Overcomes 27-Point Deficit to Win 24th Straight

The Cleveland Cavaliers tried everything to end the Miami Heat's record-setting win streak on Wednesday night. They tried the ole "weird oily substance that leaks from the ceiling and delays the game for 35 minutes" trick. They tried the "crazy fan runs onto the court in the middle of the game wit ... More >>

Miami Heat Makes It 20 Wins in a Row

Things started pretty much how you'd expect from a team heading into its second night of a back-to-back road set for the Miami Heat on Wednesday night. And the Philadelphia 76ers were more than ready and willing to clobber the Heat with a snow shovel to the face and be the team to end Miami's soul- ... More >>

Miami Heat Reminded the Indiana Pacers Whose World It Is

The reaction among the experts, media and haterz the world-over after the Indiana Pacers had roughed up and beaten the Miami Heat in the teams' first two meetings this season was that the Pacers clearly had Miami's number, and that the Heat might as well go the way of the Montreal Expos and no longe ... More >>

Miami Heat Harlem Shake. Oh Yes.

Your world champion Miami Heat have hit up their own version of the internet viral dance craze Harlem Shake. LeBron James tweeted it out Thursday evening as a "King James and Dwyane Wade production." And it is glorious. It has all the ingredients of pure unadulterated awesome: LeBron dressed as ... More >>

Miami Heat Start Second Half of Season With Takedown of Hawks

There's always concern when a team on a hot streak gets assaulted by the NBA All-Star game and everyone's gotta stop playing so the media can make a big deal out of Kobe Bryant's blocking LeBron James' shot in the most meaningless game of the year. And that concern was not immediately alleviated wh ... More >>

Obama Welcomes Miami Heat to the White House

President Obama welcomed the Miami Heat to the White House on Monday afternoon to honor the team for kicking everyone's ass in the 2012 NBA Finals. Obama cited a pickup game some of the members of the Heat participated in with the president on his birthday as the real reason the Heat were able to g ... More >>

Miami Heat Takes Down OKC on Christmas Day, 103-97

Throughout the early part of the NBA season, the men of the Miami Heat played basketball games like they were simply hoarding their fucks for the impending Mayan Apocalypse. Their defense was terrible. Their shooting, erratic. Their desire, seemingly lacking. But, since Christmas is a time of gi ... More >>

Mario Chalmers Losing More Time to Norris Cole

Heat point guard Mario Chalmers is averaging 6.3 points and 3.9 assists per game so far this season. Backup point guard Norris Cole is averaging 4.9 points and 2.2 assists per contest. Not much difference in numbers, really. Yet Cole has consistently been eating into Chalmers' minutes lately, par ... More >>

From Riches to Lesser Riches

NBA Deadline Passes; Heat Still Hoping for Boozer

Flickr​ESPN is reporting that the Miami Heat is one of the few teams who have stayed on the phone past today's 3 p.m. NBA trade deadline. The team is working feverishly to try to land Utah Jazz forward Carlos Boozer in hopes his arrival will convince Dwyane Wade the team's got a chance to make a p ... More >>

The Skip 2 My Lou Era Begins, Again

The Heat Has Cooled

5 Secret Wishes Pat Riley Has For This Heat Season

flickr.comCoach Slick making a wish list, checking it twice.​The Heat season is officially upon us again, and judging by the very small sample size thus far, Miami will go 82-0 and Dwyane Wade will finally secure the MV3. Most experts have them finishing fourth or fifth in the division and either ... More >>

Three-Feat

Magic Rain on Zo's Retirement Parade

Tara Nieuwesteeg Last night was special for the Miami Heat. For the first time in franchise history, the team retired the number of a player. During an extended half-time, a few dozen chairs and a podium were set up in the middle of the court and the world played "This is Your Life" with Alo ... More >>

Luck of Hungover Irish Gives Celtics Edge Over D-Wade-less Heat

This guy scored as many points as Dwyane Wade, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen combined last night. Yesterday afternoon, as Bostonians eased out of whiskey-induced hibernation (doctors call it "alcohol poisoning") in a blanket of their own green vomit, they got a piece of good news: Police deci ... More >>

Heat-Bulls Tilt a Mere Undercard to Cheerleader Dance-Off

Sports IllustratedShanon LerschYou don't really have to beat the Chicago Bulls. Just let them stand at the perimeter and launch low-percentage shots or make impossible passes. If that doesn't work, just wait. Eventually, their imbecile coach -- named Vinny of the Black -- will summon from the bench ... More >>