Miami Dolphins

Miami Dolphins Might Move Out of Miami All the Way to... Palm Beach!

Ah the Miami Dolphins. They do everything exceptional. Draft exceptionally... sign free agents exceptionally... score exceptionally... win exceptionally, and have exceptional ideas to make Super Bowl weekend exceptional. And now they are excelling at pulling off the ole "You Didn't Give Us Want W ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Want To Have a Game on an Aircraft Carrier

Fresh off their rejection of trying to get public funding for their stadium renovations, the Miami Dolphins' head honchos are preparing to make a bid to host a Super Bowl by presenting a winning idea: Having a football game played on a real-life Navy aircraft carrier! *high five!* According to th ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Draft Dion Jordan, And No One Knows If He's Going To Be Any Good

The Dolphins supposedly really, really, ridiculously wanted Oregon defensive end Dion Jordan. So they traded down from the 12th spot to the 3rd spot, swapping picks with the Oakland Raiders, and also handing over their 42nd overall pick for the right to take Jordan. And while nobody really knows if ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Are Drafting Everybody, According To the Experts

The NFL Draf is tonight. And all the experts and pundits and analysts have weighed in on what exactly the Miami Dolphins will do with their 12th overall pick (earned by the blood, sweat and tears of yet another 7-9 finish). And the consensus is... the Dolphins will be selecting everyone tonight. M ... More >>

New Miami Dolphins Uniforms Leaked

After weeks of speculation and Twitter leaks and rumors and hearsay, it looks like the Miami Dolphins' new logo and uniforms have finally, for real this time, been leaked. See also: -New Miami Dolphins Logo Might Have Been Leaked for Real This Time, Maybe -New Miami Dolphins Logo: The Best Twitter ... More >>

Pain & Gain Star The Rock Lives in Broward County: 8 "Celebrities" Who Could Be Your Neighbors

Miami, Florida and Hollywood, California are known for the best places to spot celebrities. Oohh there's Jon Hamm. Ooh look, George Clooney! Pfft. Whatever. We all know the sexiest place on the planet is Broward friggin County. Know who else knows that?The Rock. He lives there. Other celebritie ... More >>

New Miami Dolphins Logo Might Have Been Leaked for Real This Time, Maybe

Turns out the brand-spanking-new Miami Dolphins logo that was supposedly leaked back on March 18 -- this one -- isn't the actual brand-spanking-new Miami Dolphins logo. However, another logo was leaked after that -- this one -- and now that one appears to be the actual logo thanks to NFL.com puttin ... More >>

New Miami Dolphins Logo: The Best Twitter Reactions Confirming That Fans Hate It

Earlier in the day, we told you about how NFL.com might have accidentally leaked the new Miami Dolphins logo. The website eventually removed the logo and replaced it with the old one. But, then on Wednesday afternoon, a seemingly befuddled Dolphins CEO Mike Dee confirmed that, yes, the logo that a ... More >>

Jake Long Chooses Rams Over Dolphins

It's official. Choosing Jake Long over Matt Ryan as the number-one overall pick back in the 2008 NFL draft was a bad choice. Jake Long has chosen to be a St. Louis Ram over a Miami Dolphin, signing a four-year, $34 million contract (with incentives that could push it to $36 million) with St. Louis ... More >>

New Miami Dolphins Logo Leaked? Maybe, but Probably No

With the Miami Heat blowing NBA faces to smithereens and the University of Miami Men's hoop team getting a number-two seed for the NCAA tournament, the Miami Dolphins are left in the wake, wallowing in their spending spree for free-agent players who probably don't deserve all the money they're getti ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Sign Dustin Keller to One-Year Deal

The Miami Dolphins signed former New York Jet Dustin Keller, a tight end, to a one-year contract Friday afternoon, ESPN's Adam Schefter reports. John Clayon says the contract is worth $4.25 million. While Keller isn't the greatest blocker, he can be an effective weapon as far as doing that thing t ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins Free Agency Update

The Dolphins apparently went a little drunk-guy-at-the-strip-club and threw money all over the place Tuesday. Particularly, at Steelers receiver Mike Wallace and, surprisingly, at Ravens linebacker Dannell Ellerbe. But Jeff Ireland ain't done.And while the moves seem to reek of a desperate GM tryi ... More >>

Vontae Davis Tweets About Sean Smith Possibly Going to the Chiefs, All Hell Breaks Loose

Former Miami Dolphins cornerback Vontae Davis wanted to tell his 154,955 Twitter followers that current Miami Dolphins cornerback, and current free agent, Sean Smith, has been talking to the Kansas City Chiefs about possibly signing with them. As it turns out, NFL free agency doesn't get kicked off ... More >>

Sun Life Stadium Upgrade Bill Passes First State Senate Committee Unanimously

The Miami Dolphins are off to a good start as far jumping into the Fleecing Tax Payers Pants Party stadium renovation party goes. Lawmakers in the Florida Senate Commerce Committee gave unanimous support to a bill that would secure taxpayer money to cover half of the planned $400 million upgrades t ... More >>

Miami Marlins Hire a New PR Firm To Make Us Forget The Horrible Things They've Done

Maybe it was the fact that the team fooled Miami-Dade into building them a ballpark, and now the county is billions of dollars in the hole. Maybe it was the fact that they swore they wanted to contend while trading away their best players. Maybe it was that ridiculous rainbow vomit colored new log ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Want $400 Million to Renovate Stadium but Swear They're Totally Not the Marlins

Remember when the Florida Marlins were all, if y'all don't give us millions and millions, we're just gonna go ahead and take our ballclub somewhere else, and the City of Miami was all, nooooo here ya go! and then threw millions and millions at the Marlins and now taxpayers are stuck paying for a $51 ... More >>

Mayan Calendar Predictions Versus Reality

Miami Dolphins Logo: 15 New Choices

The internet nearly stopped existing yesterday when sports blog Deadspin revealed what could possibly be the new Miami Dolphins team logo. Deadspin credited fan site DolfansNYC for leaking the possible logo, and Dolphins fans everywhere chimed in. Mostly, they hated it. And, if the leak is indeed t ... More >>

Dolphins Crush Jaguars 24-3, Still Not Going to the Playoffs

It's always nice to walk away from watching a Dolphins game and not feel like you just fell down and punctured your scrotum with your car keys. Sunday's game against the visiting Jacksonville Jaguars was such a day. Ryan Tannehill put together the best QB rating at 123.2, and completion percentage ... More >>

Dolphins Lose to 49ers 27-13, Suffer Fourth-Straight Season of At Least Eight Losses

Oh, hey. Look at that. The Dolphins lost again. At this point the inevitability of the Dolphins getting their asses pounded week in and week out, year in year out, should be old hat. These are, after all, the Miami Dolphins. And as the San Francisco 49ers punted the Fins' collective dicks to the t ... More >>

Dolphins Fall to Patriots 23-16, Their Quest For a Fourth Straight Season of Nine Losses Draws Ever Closer

Just weeks before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to pull another big win out of their collective asses to inch closer to an improbable post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 23-16 loss to the New England Patriots. There's plenty of bl ... More >>

The Five Greatest Games in Dolphins-Patriots History

The Dolphins and Patriots face off this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium for the first time this season. And even though New England is a heavy favorite, history has proven that this matchup can go in any direction. This isn't the most heated rivalry in the AFC East (both teams have much more serious bee ... More >>

Dolphins Get Roughed Up by Titans, 37-3

The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four t ... More >>

Dolphins Versus Titans: Keys to the Game

The Dolphins are back home this Sunday to take on the Tennessee Titans at Sun Life Stadium. This is a good thing because, as it stands, the Dolphins are a pretty mediocre football team while the Titans are quite crappy. But can Miami overcome its recent bout of The Suck and bounce back to playoff ... More >>

Andrew Luck Crushes Dolphins Defense, Colts Win 23-20

Remember all the hoopla surrounding the "Suck For Luck" campaign last year? Yea, there was a reason for that. The Colts' Andrew Luck decimated the Dolphins defense, leading Indianapolis to the 23-20 victory over Miami on Sunday. Luck went 30-of-48, and set a rookie record by surgically removing t ... More >>

Dolphins Demolish Jets, Lose Tannehill to Injury

Rex Ryan wanted his New York Jets to put hot sauce on Reggie Bush. He then demanded an apology from Bush when Reggie dared talk back. LaRon Landry then told the media that Reggie would remember the hit he took in Week 3, saying, "I'm not going to stop hitting or headhunting. I'm not going to stop th ... More >>

Miami Dolphins at New York Jets Preview

The last time the Dolphins met the Jets, in Week 3, Reggie Bush had to leave the game with a knee injury, Derrelle Revis tore his ACL, Ryan Tannehill threw a back-breaking pick-6, and Dan Carpenter forgot how to kick field goals. The Jets won in OT 23-20. Since then, the two teams have engaged in a ... More >>

Dolphins Defeat Rams 17-14, Are Now Tied For First Place In Their Division

The Dolphins are 3-3 and locked into a four-way tie with the rest of the AFC East. Which means either the Dolphins are good again, or the AFC East really, really sucks. Either way. While 3-3 is as mediocre as it gets in the NFL, it's still a vast improvement from the dog shit canon that used to be ... More >>

Jeff Ireland Parody Song Reminds Us That Jeff Ireland Still Stinks

The Dolphins might have won Sunday, and it looks like their quarterback situation might have been solved. But one fact remains unchanged: Jeff Ireland still sucks as a general manager. And now the the undaunted geniuses at #WAARF (via FinsNation.com), have come up with yet another parody s ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Take Down the Bengals on the Road

The Miami Dolphins took down the Bengals 17-13 yesterday, and for a change, Fins fans are able to wake up on a Monday morning and not have that feeling like someone swung a sledgehammer to their crotch. The Dolphins pretty much followed the five steps to victory we wrote about on Friday (it's as i ... More >>

Miami Dolphins at Cincinnati Bengals Preview

Your 1-3 Miami Dolphins and their 30th ranked pass defense head into Cincinnati this Sunday to take on Andy Dalton and his 103.0 quarterback rating. Meanwhile, cornerback Richard Marshall won't be playing thanks to a bad back. But don't fret Dolphins fans! He will be replaced with the Human Penalty ... More >>

Ryan Tannehill Sets Rookie Record, Dolphins Still Lose

Ryan Tannehill threw for 431 yards. Brian Hartline caught 12 passes for 253 yards. Cameron Wake registered four sacks. And yet the Miami Dolphins still found a way to dip their balls in the soft serve ice cream machine and lose to the Arizona Cardinals 24-21 in overtime. It was the Fins' second c ... More >>

Miami Dolphins at Arizona Cardinals Preview

Remember when the 2012 NFL schedule was released and everybody saw Arizona on it and were all, LOLOLOL we're so gonna win that game? So much for that. The Cardinals are currently one of two undefeated teams at 3-0, in first place in their division, and a solid home team. They also have Larry Fitzg ... More >>

Karlos Dansby Says the 2012 Dolphins Have More Talent Than the 2008 Super Bowl Cardinals

The 1-2 Miami Dolphins are in Arizona this weekend to face the 3-0 first-place Cardinals. During midweek interviews with the media, Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby, who was a member of the Cardinals 2008 Super Bowl team, told Arizona reporters that this current Dolphins team has more talent than ... More >>

Dolphins Fall in OT to the Jets

The Miami Dolphins lost because they can no longer do the one thing this team was always only capable of doing -- kick field goals. And so the New York Jets came to town, managed to play like a sack of crap, and still pulled out the 23-20 victory, because our kicker forgot how to kick field goals, ... More >>

Miami Dolphins vs. New York Jets Preview

The New York Jets head into town this weekend for TonySparanoRevengeTour2012. Both teams come into the week at 1-1 in a four-way tie between all teams in the AFC East which very much means that the winner of this game could potentially be in in first place heading into Week 4. Both the Jets and Dol ... More >>

Miami Dolphins' Perfect Season Was 40 Years Ago; Shula's Steakhouse Celebrates with $17 "No-Name" Cocktail

The year was 1972. Head Coach Don Shula led the Miami Dolphins to their perfect season. It's been 40 years and no team has done it since. Sure the Dolphins have had some missteps; President Obama even had to make a jab about their not-so stellar record. But loyal fans are still commemorating th ... More >>

Dolphins Get Batted Down by Texans 30-10

Well, that went exactly as one would have expected things to go. The Miami Dolphins headed into Houston for Sunday's opening game of the 2012 NFL season and promptly got their assholes blown apart by the Texans in a 30-10 beatdown. The encouraging thing was that rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill w ... More >>

Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Preview: Innovators of Suck

Your Miami Dolphins are set to kickoff the 2012 season this Sunday at Houston (a team, incidentally, they have never beaten ever in the entire existence of American tackle football history). If you haven't noticed, we're living in the golden age of pass-first football. Passing records are falling b ... More >>

Hard Knocks Season Finale: The Tannehills Make a Table!

Last night was the season finale of Hard Knocks, which means it's all downhill for the Miami Dolphins from here on out. As far as season finales go, this one was a weird amalgam of boring, sad, and -- for some inexplicable reason -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. With the first four episodes featuring ... More >>

Dolphins Finish Winless in Preseason

In what is the least shocking news ever, the Miami Dolphins headed into Dallas yesterday and proceeded to get blasted in the face by a bazooka at the hands of the Cowboys to the tune of 30-13.So now the 2012 Dolphins join the 1966 and 1989 teams that went winless in the preseason. And if you look it ... More >>

Dolphins Jet Hits Another Plane on Dallas Airport Tarmac

This friggin' team. In what is possibly the greatest metaphor ever produced by the fates, the Miami Dolphins charter plane apparently clipped another parked plane as it was backing out during takeoff. The incident happened at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport last night as the team prepared ... More >>

Jason Taylor Will Join the Dan LeBatard Show Starting Next Week

Well now, here's some decent Miami Dolphins news. Lincoln Financial Media's 790 The Ticket, announced today that former Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor will be joining the Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz starting next week. The six-time pro bowler and the 2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year w ... More >>

Jake Long Is Fine; Dolphins Still Suck

Yesterday during Dolphins practice, left tackle Jake Long (aka "THE WARHAMMER") went down like a sack of hammers, continuing his yearly trend of getting injured just before the last game of the preseason. Long injured his right knee, and for a while there, the Dolphins feared he had d ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Open Preseason Against Bucs: Five Things To Look For

Your Miami Dolphins open their 2012 season tonight when they host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a pre-season matchup FUCK YEA. It's a whole new start (again!) for the Dolphins, as they unveil a new coaching regime (again!), a offensive scheme (again!), a new defensive scheme (again!) an ... More >>

Dolphins Rookie Ryan Tannehill Still a No-Show at Camp

Your Miami Dolphins hit the practice field today for the opening of training camp for a whole new season of suck. Thus far, Matt Moore (aka THE PUPPET) has taken the first-team reps, while David Garrard is leading the second stringers.Conspicuously absent from the proceedings is first-round pick QB ... More >>

Chad Ochocinco Signs With Miami Dolphins; Team Already Has a Number 85 (Update: He's Got It)

Update: The team tweeted this morning that Ochocinco has been given number 85; I missed it. No word yet on whether he did anything to get it.The Dolphins confirmed yesterday that they'd signed wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, whom you may recognize from his role last year as Tom Brady's last resort. Oc ... More >>

Strikers Soccer Team Pairs With Food Trucks for Home Games

The Fort Lauderdale Strikers soccer team has scored a partnership with five food trucks to offer eats this season. Arepabox, B.C. Tacos, Che Grill, Dog Eat Dog, and Dolci Peccati Gelato will park at every home game in the northwest corner of Lockhart Stadium from 5 p.m. until kickoff at 7:30 p. ... More >>

Out to Pasture on New Year's Day