Miami Marlins

Tim Tebow to the Dolphins! How We Trolled Twitter to Believe a Crazy Rumor

Everybody’s Doing the Fish

Jeffrey Loria Denies Meddling With Marlins Pitching Staff Days After Meddling With Marlins Pitching Staff

On Tuesday, the human pustule known as Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria reportedly decided that he was going to be the manager for a day and switched around the scheduled starting Marlins pitchers for a double-header against the Twins. Now Loria is saying he did not meddle with the Marlins pitching sta ... More >>

Pain & Gain Star The Rock Lives in Broward County: 8 "Celebrities" Who Could Be Your Neighbors

Miami, Florida and Hollywood, California are known for the best places to spot celebrities. Oohh there's Jon Hamm. Ooh look, George Clooney! Pfft. Whatever. We all know the sexiest place on the planet is Broward friggin County. Know who else knows that?The Rock. He lives there. Other celebritie ... More >>

Miami Marlins Think You're Fat and Stupid

The Miami Marlins ganked money from Miami-Dade County, putting them billions of dollars in the hole until the end of time; sold off their best players; tried to sue their own season-ticket holders; and have an owner who's arguably the biggest douche in all of sports. But they really, really want yo ... More >>

New Times Says No to MLB

Jeffrey Loria Wrote Everyone A Letter, All Is Well Again!

Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has had just about enough of all the criticisms and finger-pointing at his taking a giant heaping dump on South Florida and baseball in general, thank you. So it's time to tell HIS SIDE OF THE STORY. And so he did. Loria took out a full page ad in the Sunday morning edi ... More >>

Jeb Bush Tried to Buy the Miami Marlins

The Miami Marlins held a fan/player meet-and-greet at the Hollywood Dave & Busters last night where they literally could have dressed the guy who hands out prize tickets in a suit and told people he was one of the new players and no one would have batted an eye. Meanwhile, word from the Miami H ... More >>

Miami Marlins Hire a New PR Firm To Make Us Forget The Horrible Things They've Done

Maybe it was the fact that the team fooled Miami-Dade into building them a ballpark, and now the county is billions of dollars in the hole. Maybe it was the fact that they swore they wanted to contend while trading away their best players. Maybe it was that ridiculous rainbow vomit colored new log ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Want $400 Million to Renovate Stadium but Swear They're Totally Not the Marlins

Remember when the Florida Marlins were all, if y'all don't give us millions and millions, we're just gonna go ahead and take our ballclub somewhere else, and the City of Miami was all, nooooo here ya go! and then threw millions and millions at the Marlins and now taxpayers are stuck paying for a $51 ... More >>

Mayan Calendar Predictions Versus Reality

Wayne Huizenga Gets a Boulevard Named After Him in Fort Lauderdale as a Birthday Gift

When you celebrate a birthday, your friends buy you a Hallmark card and make fun of you for being old and then take you out for drinks. But when rich people celebrate a birthday, their friends name a whole street after them. Business magnate; Waste Management and Blockbuster founder; onetime owner ... More >>

Top Turkeys of 2012: The South Florida Personalities We Love to Hate

Yunel Escobar, the Marlins' New Shortstop, Was Recently Suspended for Gay Slur

Well, this seems rather fitting. The owner of the Marlins, known for insulting the South Florida community by lying and then gutting the ball club, just traded for a guy who is known for insulting the gay community. It's like assholes just gravitate to each other. Yunel Escobar, Miami's new short ... More >>

Boycott the Marlins and Sue Jeffrey Loria for Racketeering: A Note to Carlos Gimenez and John Rodstrom

Now is when you step up, Mr. Mayors of Miami-Dade and Broward.Now is when you two political leaders of South Florida join forces, head to New York, and demand a meeting with Commissioner Bud Selig. You tell that twerp to nix yesterday's trade of Marlins stars Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle, and Emilio Bon ... More >>

Miami Marlins Piss Off Fans By Trading Players: Four Ways to Protest with Your Food

As if we didn't already hate Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria (and don't worry, we did), he just alienated every last person willing to give him the benefit of the doubt by selling off all the good players we had started to like (he holds fire sales every time a roster gets half-decent), and tradin ... More >>

Miami Marlins Have Traded Everyone: Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle, Emilio Bonafacio, and Maybe More

After swindling the entire city of Miami, then building their tax-laden $560 million stadium and promising everyone they were going "all in," the Miami Marlins have decided to gut their roster and trade away ace pitcher Josh Johnson, Mark Buehrle, Jose Reyes, John Buck, and Emilio Bonifacio to ... More >>

South Florida Web Awards: Meet Your Twitter, Instagram, and Arts/Culture Nominees

To say the web bridges worlds together seamlessly through invisible streams of data would be a gross understatement. In any case, New Times is well aware of the importance of the web, and we're celebrating with our first South Florida Web Awards. We've scoured the internet in search of the best of ... More >>

Mike Redmond Named the New Miami Marlins Manager

According to John Heyman of CBS Sports, the Miami Marlins have hired former Florida Marlins catcher Mike Redmond to be their next manager to eventually be fired by Jeffrey Loria. Heyman reports that it's a three-year deal.

Ozzie Guillen Fired By the Miami Marlins

In keeping with the long and storied tradition of blaming the managers and never, ever the decision making by the ownership and front office, the Miami Marlins have announced that they have fired manager Ozzie Guillen. Marlins baseball operations president Larry Beinfest released a statement: "Aft ... More >>

Alex Rodriguez Might Be Traded to the Marlins, According to Keith Olbermann

According to former ESPN/MSNBC/Current TV personality, Keith Olbermann, the Miami Marlins have been in discussion with the New York Yankees on a possible trade for third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Olbermann says his sources claim that one possible scenario would be for the Yankees to pay for a portion ... More >>

Miami Marlins Keep Lying About Stadium

Miami Marlins "Aggressively Seeking to Replace" Ozzie Guillen, According to Report

The Miami Marlins are a damn mess. They traded away a bunch of good players for a bunch of not-so-good players. They've had horrible attendance all year. They've lied about the stadium from the word GO. And now, thanks to a terrible owner, a horrendous general manager, and a stripped down talent ... More >>

Miami Marlins To Lower 2013 Payroll, According to Report

The news regarding any South Florida sports team not named the Miami Heat continues to be miserable. After trading away Hanley Ramirez , Anibal Sanchez, and Omar Infante for prospects in order to clear up their finances, the Marlins were pretty adamant about using that left over cash to spend on so ... More >>

Larry Beinfest to be Fired by Miami Marlins Next Week, According to Report

The Miami Marlins had what you might call a bit of a crappy season. Even though they entered this year super excited about their brand new stadium, their brand new $100 million payroll, their brand new shortstop, their brand new closer, their brand new manager, and being featured on Showtime's The F ... More >>

A Change(-up) is Gonna Come

Cuban Radio Is Dying Because of Aging Hardliners and Miami's Changing Market

Dolphin's Owner Stephen Ross Donates $130K To Romney, RNC and Super Pacs

Go long, Mittens. Miami Dolphin's owner Stephen Ross has thrown down $133,000 in donations to support the Romney campaign. A $100,000 of that has gone to the Restore Our Future super pac, while the remainder was divvied up among Romney, the Republican National Committee, the Repu ... More >>

Showtime Is Canceling The Franchise

The Marlins have been so bad this season, even Showtime is giving up on them. MLB Productions, Showtime and the team have announced that Wednesday's episode of The Franchise will be the last of the season. The Franchise, which shows the ins-and-outs of a major league baseball team, was origina ... More >>

South Florida Dining Events This Weekend: Hang With Steve Martorano and More

It's the calm before the storm of season; a relatively quiet weekend in the South Florida dining scene. But if your appetite for entertainment won't be satiated by sitting home and watching the 2012 Olympics (Still with that?) there are a few reasons to head out the door. After the jump, find a list ... More >>

Marlins Are on Pace to Draw the Fewest Fans Since the 1990s; Also They're Trading Everyone!

On the heels of the Miami Marlins' trading away Hanley Ramirez to the Dodgers and Anibal Sanchez to the Tigers and working on a possible deal to send Josh Johnson to the Rangers comes a Forbes report that the Fish are on pace to set the record for drawing the fewest fans to a first-year ballpark sin ... More >>

Take Me Out to the Ball Game — Seriously