NBA Atlantic

LeBron James Frank Vogel Media-Fueled Feud Is The Most LeBron James Thing To Happen Thus Far

Oh, the media. Always looking for that juicy story-line to making the NBA playoffs even more riveting than they already are. Especially when LeBron James is involved. Because people hate that guy. And that just means RATINGS BONANZA-PALOOZA! But when that story-line doesn't present itself, the ne ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Takes a Flamethrower To the Doubters, and Single-Handedly Destroys the Bulls

Dwyane Wade would like us all to talk to his ass. After dealing with an annoying and painful bone bruise in his right knee, and playing like a shell of himself, it seemed that the whispers of his demise came stronger and harder than ever before. We even suggested he should sit out last night's Ga ... More >>

Erik Spoelstra Is Glad He Didn't Win Coach of the Year

Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra did not win the 2013 NBA Coach of Year, coming in second in votes to Denver Nuggets coach George Karl. And that's the way Spo wants it. "I was probably more pleased this morning than George Karl," Spoelstra said when told Karl beat him for the award. The reas ... More >>

Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Bulls

Well now. That was a bit rough. A depleted Chicago Bulls came into the American Airlines Arena for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, saw fans clad in white, watched LeBron James receive his MVP trophy, and then went on to systematically bludgeon the world champs by having Joakim Noah sw ... More >>

Marco Rubio Ripped Jay-Z On His Trip to Cuba

Marco Rubio appeared on one of the Sunday political talk shows on, uh, Sunday (THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM!) and slammed, ripped, dunked on, smacked down, put a hurtin' to, Jay-Z and his recent decision to not only visit Cuba, but to also be unapologetic about it in a horrible song. And here's the t ... More >>

Pat Riley Wants the Miami Heat to Keep Destroying the NBA for Another Ten Seasons

As LeBron James has plowed through the league in a Heat uniform, laying waste to NBA teams and haters since arriving in the summer of 2010, one nagging "report" has continued to nag at the center of it all: LeBron might opt out of his 2014 Miami Heat contract and go back to Cleveland! While those i ... More >>

LeBron James and the Miami Heat Are a Walking Epic Poem: Miami Overcomes 27-Point Deficit to Win 24th Straight

The Cleveland Cavaliers tried everything to end the Miami Heat's record-setting win streak on Wednesday night. They tried the ole "weird oily substance that leaks from the ceiling and delays the game for 35 minutes" trick. They tried the "crazy fan runs onto the court in the middle of the game wit ... More >>

Miami Heat Takes Down Bulls, Wins Ninth Straight

The Miami Heat is currently riding a nine-game winning streak through a subtle yet delicate and refined mixture of sound fundamental basketball and relentlessly and mercilessly smashing opponents in the face. The latest victim of the maelstrom of ass-bludgeoning was the Chicago Bulls. Battling thr ... More >>

Miami Heat Start Second Half of Season With Takedown of Hawks

There's always concern when a team on a hot streak gets assaulted by the NBA All-Star game and everyone's gotta stop playing so the media can make a big deal out of Kobe Bryant's blocking LeBron James' shot in the most meaningless game of the year. And that concern was not immediately alleviated wh ... More >>

Tracy Morgan on Basketball: "I Don't Got No Love for the Heat"

Miami Heat Sign Chris "Birdman" Andersen to Ten-Day Contract

The Miami Heat, in desperate need to have someone grab more than four rebounds a game (seriously, the Heat are currently ranked 29th in rebounds, which is just straight-up ass), worked out Chris "Birdman" Andersen two weeks ago, and apparently liked what they saw enough to sign him to a 10-day contr ... More >>

Don't Worry, Miami: NBA Fans Everywhere Still Hate the Heat

Despite a couple of good swings, the Miami Herald's Dan Le Batard pretty much failed to connect with reality in his column last Sunday, a 1,000 word humble-brag tricked out as a nostalgia job. The basic thesis here moans that the Heat's 2012-13 season is a lot less "fun" now that the entire sporti ... More >>

NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Beat the Lakers in the Finals

NBA.com took their annual general manager survey recently and, according to the consensus, the Miami Heat will repeat as NBA champions, this time beating the L.A. Lakers. The thirty GMs of the NBA were asked 57 questions with topics ranging from who will win the MVP, to best off-season moves, to be ... More >>

Dolphins Take Down Raiders 35-13

Holy shit. The Dolphins won. Oh yes. They so did. The Miami Dolphins were able to go into Sunday's game against the Raiders and not do that thing where they play like a sack of ass, and were able to dismantle Oakland 35 -13, giving the FIns their first home opener victory since 2005. The win al ... More >>

Bill Nelson and Connie Mack Television Debate Is Set

The Bill Nelson-Connie Mack race is pretty much America's most closely watched Senate race. And now incumbent Nelson -- the Democrat -- and Mack -- the Republican -- have agreed to the only confirmed statewide televised debate on October 17. The showdown will take place at Nova Southeastern Univers ... More >>

Obama Says He's the Miami Heat, Romney Is Jeremy Lin

Remember Linsanity? The New York Knicks point guard who took the world by storm because he came out of nowhere, and because the New York sports media are insane? Lin was hitting game-winning shots, putting up Steve Nash-like numbers and riding a wave of fan euphoria from America to China and all ... More >>

Sid Rosenberg Returns to South Florida Airwaves Today

If you've found yourself thinking lately that your life has been sorely lacking in obnoxious troglodytic sports talk radio, today is your lucky day! After being fired from 560 WQAM last April following a DUI arrest (broken by New Times) that apparently included weeping, curling up in a fetal positio ... More >>

Amar'e Stoudemire Now Part of What's Likely the Most Athletic Neighborhood in Broward

shortshortsweakprose.comAmar'e Stoudemire​New York Knicks forward Amar'e Stoudemire bought a new house in Southwest Ranches, which made headlines a few weeks ago largely due to the fact that his new pad is enormous and expensive -- $3.7 million for 14,555 square feet.Is it obnoxiously large wi ... More >>

Hack-a-Shaq: The Former Basketball Superstar Wages Digital War Against an Ex-Con Computer Geek

A Nugget of Hope

Dwyane Wade: Phil Jackson Wants to Coach the Heat (Video)

​The Miami Heatles have certainly had an exciting first half of the season: "The Decision" drama, the rough start, the stretch of total domination (winning 21 of 22), the lessons in karma, the onslaught of injuries, and now another losing stint. (Last night's loss to the Knicks makes five losses i ... More >>

Kevin Spacey on Gus Boulis, Casino Jack, and Being Asked About His Sexuality

Kevin Spacey as lobbyist Jack Abramoff​ The crime is among the most famous in Fort Lauderdale history: Nearly ten years ago Miami Subs-founder and gambling boat mogul Konstantinos "Gus" Boulis was driving his black BMW sedan through downtown when the truck in front of him stopped short. Boulis sla ... More >>

The Miami Heat Help Ladies Drink for Free

​As if the Miami Heat's 10-game winning streak wasn't hot enough, the Neighborhood Sports Bar and Grill has made it sizzling. Starting this week, the 5-month old restaurant in Boca Raton now offers free drinks for ladies during the Heat games if they come wearing Heat gear. The bar has dubbed th ... More >>

Nevin Shapiro Is the Caligula of South Florida's Ponzi Empire

Five Videos of Athletes Dancing (Get Well Soon, Chad Pennington!)

All that dancing must have made Chad Pennington tired.​Our pal Bob Norman over at the Daily Pulp posted an awesome video last Sunday of the Dolphins' Chad Pennington dancing to Eminem.Presumably white-boy-style dancing was intended to pump him up. That obviously failed since Pennington is now out ... More >>

Fully Armed and Operational

LeBron Consults Celeb Rabbi Pinto, Becomes True SoFla Mogul

TMZ.com​If TMZ is correct and LeBron James paid Rabbi Yishayahu Yosef Pinto to sit in on a business meeting yesterday, then the Heat star is officially courting South Florida mogul status.What better way to ingratiate himself to his new hometown than meet with a celeb rabbi known for providing bus ... More >>

The Daily LeBron: It's a Complete Clusterf&$#

Flickr: dodong17It's still a dream, Heat fans.​Twelve more hours till the stroke of midnight signals a feeding frenzy of NBA execs. They all want LeBron James. And if not him, then Dwyane Wade. And if not him, then Chris Bosh. And on and on. As if it's not already complicated enough, another megas ... More >>

Nobody Knows Where LeBron's Going... Except Us

Flickr: NBA PhotosA dynasty in the making?​In the hunt for the signature of LeBron James, South Florida has suddenly (briefly?) vaulted into the lead. Apparently, there was a "summit" last weekend in Miami, hosted by Dwyane Wade, with Chris Bosh and LeBron James himself in attendance. ESPN is repo ... More >>

Hysterical D-Wade Rumor of the Year

FlickrThey may be friends, but free agency will point D-Wade and LeBron in opposite directions.​According to an NBA general manager who spoke to ESPN, Dwyane Wade will join LeBron James and Chris Bosh in Chicago next season. I wonder if that unnamed GM is the Chicago Bulls' own Gar Forman, and if ... More >>

"Just Wright" Is Just Wrong

Morning Juice: An Eyelash Triggers a Fire; Two Sides to Accused Killer

​Here's what's happening in South Florida this Monday morning:Make room for another lucrative South Florida industry overrun with fraudsters: the time-share telemarketing business. For all their character flaws, these guys are creative about giving gifts to their girlfriends, like the dude who tri ... More >>

Morning Juice: Father and Son Charged With Murdering Professor; Heat Beat Knicks

​Here's your look at the local news this Monday morning:Horrifying details have emerged in last week's murder of Nova professor Joseph Morrissey in his Plantation home. Randy Tunidor, 43, a tenant who was to be evicted from a property owned by Morrissey, has been arrested and charged with murder a ... More >>

Jay-Z

The Matrix Reloaded

Hungry Like T-Wolves

Think the Heat is bad? You’re right. But at least one team is worse.

Riled

Miami’s coach wants to suit up? What if …?

Just Like Heaven

David/Donna Lee Parsons takes the very last train into the Mouth of the Rat