Subject:

NBA Southeast

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2013

    Miami Heat Takes Down Bulls, Wins Ninth Straight

    The Miami Heat is currently riding a nine-game winning streak through a subtle yet delicate and refined mixture of sound fundamental basketball and relentlessly and mercilessly smashing opponents in the face. The latest victim of the maelstrom of ass-bludgeoning was the Chicago Bulls. Battling thr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2013

    Miami Heat Start Second Half of Season With Takedown of Hawks

    There's always concern when a team on a hot streak gets assaulted by the NBA All-Star game and everyone's gotta stop playing so the media can make a big deal out of Kobe Bryant's blocking LeBron James' shot in the most meaningless game of the year. And that concern was not immediately alleviated wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2013

    LeBron James and the Heat Smash the OKC Thunder 110-100

    The Oklahoma City Thunder are among the best, most dangerous teams in the NBA. Particularly on their home floor, where they storm the court like bloodthirsty grizzly bears, frothing at the mouth, scoring at will and laying waste NBA teams that dare walk onto Chesapeake Energy Arena to take them on. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 13, 2013

    Prediction: OKC Will Beat Heat in Thursday NBA Finals Rematch

    Valentine's Day this year won't be about love or roses. Thursday is likely to be about Heat fans -- and LeBron James -- crashing back to Earth.That's the day we take on Kevin Durant's Oklahoma City Thunder in the belly of the beast. Last night, the hot hot Heat came back strong at the end of th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2013

    University of Miami Basketball Jumps Again in AP Poll

    By halftime on Saturday at the BankUnited Center, while most of the sold-out crowd was twisting out their necks trying to get an eyeful of LeBron James and Dwyane Wade courtside, the national beat writers and TV analysts holed up in the media room were already tossing around the question: Are the Hu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2013

    Heat Sign Chris "Birdman" Andersen For Remainder of the Season

    For a long while now this season, the Miami Heat were languishing at the bottom of the league in rebounds. This was partly due to them not having a real rebounding specialist. It was also because the Heat sometimes approach regular season games like a kid playing with his mashed potatoes. Basica ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2013

    Obama to Honor the Miami Heat for Being the Most Awesome Basketball Team on the Planet

    As you may have heard, the Miami Heat are kind of a big deal. In that the team eradicates anyone and anything that gets in its way of winning basketball games. And, as you may have heard, the Miami Heat won the NBA title last year. So, as is custom in this great nation of ours, the President of th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2013

    Obama Welcomes Miami Heat to the White House

    President Obama welcomed the Miami Heat to the White House on Monday afternoon to honor the team for kicking everyone's ass in the 2012 NBA Finals. Obama cited a pickup game some of the members of the Heat participated in with the president on his birthday as the real reason the Heat were able to g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 24, 2013

    Miami Heat Worth $625 Million, According to Forbes

    With three of the league's biggest egotistical asshats superstars filling out their roster, not to mention a fresh championship, you would think the Heat would at least land in the top five when it comes to the highest valued NBA franchises. Almost, but not quite, so says Forbes. According to the bi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 22, 2013

    Chris "Birdman" Andersen and Mike Miller Performed "Ice Ice Baby"

    The Miami Heat's Shane Battier hosted his second-annual "South Beach Battioke Celebrity Karaoke Contest" on Monday night. The event has turned into a must-see as members of the Heat get up on stage and sing karaoke for charity, with proceeds going to the Battier Take Charge Foundation. And while L ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2013

    Miami Heat Sign Chris "Birdman" Andersen to Ten-Day Contract

    The Miami Heat, in desperate need to have someone grab more than four rebounds a game (seriously, the Heat are currently ranked 29th in rebounds, which is just straight-up ass), worked out Chris "Birdman" Andersen two weeks ago, and apparently liked what they saw enough to sign him to a 10-day contr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2013

    Miami Heat Workout Chris "Birdman" Andersen

    In case you haven't noticed, as kickass as the Miami Heat has been this season (23-9 so far), they've been refried ass when it comes to rebounding. The World Champs rank among the worst in the league in rebounding.  To fix this, team President Pat Riley worked out former Denver Nugget and cur ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2012

    Miami Heat Takes Down OKC on Christmas Day, 103-97

    Throughout the early part of the NBA season, the men of the Miami Heat played basketball games like they were simply hoarding their fucks for the impending Mayan Apocalypse. Their defense was terrible. Their shooting, erratic. Their desire, seemingly lacking. But, since Christmas is a time of gi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2012

    Miami Heat Ready for Christmas Showdown With Thunder

    It's Christmas Day. Which means family, gifts, egg nog, and Miami Heat basketball. Lately the Heat have had to face off against the Lakers during the X-Mas Day Showdown. But this year, the NBA deemed it necessary to schedule a rematch of the NBA Finals (Remember that? When the Heat dismantled the O ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2012

    Don't Worry, Miami: NBA Fans Everywhere Still Hate the Heat

    Despite a couple of good swings, the Miami Herald's Dan Le Batard pretty much failed to connect with reality in his column last Sunday, a 1,000 word humble-brag tricked out as a nostalgia job. The basic thesis here moans that the Heat's 2012-13 season is a lot less "fun" now that the entire sporti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2012

    Heat Fall to the Lowly Washington Wizards, 105-101

    This is what happens when the Heat players look like they left all their fucks in their other jeans and those jeans are in the wash. A 105-101 loss to the Washington Wizards, the worst team in all of professional sports: That's what happens. It's nothing new. The Heaters have been lollygagging the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 13, 2012

    LeBron James Exploded on the Rockets Last Night

    We've seen it before. And yet, every time he does it, it's like witnessing a supernova in person for the very first time. It may take some work to grapple with LeBron's awesomeness. Breaking down his game might be counterintuitive. Only because, even though we think we've seen this kind of game be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2012

    Miami Heat Get Their Rings, Take Down Celtics

    The Miami Heat kicked off the 2012-12 season last night by first getting their championship rings, and then by sticking a foot into the Celtics' assholes. 'Twas a glorious night indeed. And while traditionally ring ceremony games have been a snoozer, mainly because the team getting their rings we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2012

    David Stern Called Hurricane Sandy "Katrina" Last Night Before Heat Game

    Lost in the hoopla that was the amazeballs that was the Miami Heat championship ring and banner pregame ceremony was NBA Commissioner David Stern taking a moment to remember the victims of the recent storm that hit the North Atlantic by calling it Hurricane Katrina. "Before we begin, I know that ev ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 30, 2012

    The Cocky Heat Fan's Guide to Why the Miami Heat Will Repeat as NBA Champions

    The NBA season kicks off tonight when the Miami Heat hosts the Boston Celtics. But before that, the Heat players will be receiving their championship rings and unveiling their 2011-12 NBA Finals Champions big-ass banner that will hang in the rafters at the American Airlines Arena like a giant pair o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2012

    NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Beat the Lakers in the Finals

    NBA.com took their annual general manager survey recently and, according to the consensus, the Miami Heat will repeat as NBA champions, this time beating the L.A. Lakers. The thirty GMs of the NBA were asked 57 questions with topics ranging from who will win the MVP, to best off-season moves, to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2012

    Top 10 Miami Heat Haters in the Media

    The Miami Heat will begin their NBA title defense next week. It's been a harrowing journey since the Big Three came together in the Summer of 2010. The whole world watched and hated and delighted when they failed to beat the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals. Then they were forced to eat it hard w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2012

    Obama Says He's the Miami Heat, Romney Is Jeremy Lin

    Remember Linsanity? The New York Knicks point guard who took the world by storm because he came out of nowhere, and because the New York sports media are insane? Lin was hitting game-winning shots, putting up Steve Nash-like numbers and riding a wave of fan euphoria from America to China and all ... More >>

  • News

    July 12, 2012
  • Blogs

    July 5, 2012

    Miami Heat Say They Lost $3 Million in Scott Rothstein Ponzi

    The Miami Heat has reached a settlement to recoup part of what it says was a $3 million loss from its involvement in the $1.4 billion Scott Rothstein Ponzi scheme, according to documents filed Tuesday.The RRA bankruptcy trust initially sued the Heat and its affiliate, Basketball Properties Ltd., to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2012

    Miami Heat Doughnuts: Celebrate the Champs for a Buck

    According to website hoopshype.com, the Miami Heat's payroll is a staggering $80,290,662. Even more unbelievable is the fact that Miami came in number five on this list (behind the Boston Celtics, Orlando Magic, Los Angeles Lakers, and Portland Trailblazers).  You could call it money well spent ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2012

    Miami Heat Parade Slideshow: Confetti, a Trophy, "Please Don't Eat My Face" T-Shirts

    If you couldn't make it to today's parade celebrating the Miami Heat's NBA championship, we've got a big pile of photos from the event -- there are players, there are fans, there are T-shirts that reference the "Miami zombie."View photos from the Miami Heat 2012 Championship Parade here.

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2012

    Heat Versus Thunder for NBA Finals: Let the Oklahoma City Trash Talk Begin

    Anyone with a passing interest in sports is about to be inundated with talk of King James versus Prince Durant, Oklahoma City versus Miami, a wholesome young crop of basketball players versus the most hated/worshiped trio in the NBA. Sports rivalries are fun, especially the kind that are gratuitousl ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 12, 2012
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    February 2, 2012
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    February 2, 2012
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    January 26, 2012
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    January 19, 2012
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    January 12, 2012
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    December 29, 2011
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    December 15, 2011
  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Nielsen Poll: LeBron James No Longer a Marketing Superstar

    Not so long ago, LeBron James could sell anything from Vitamin Water to Nike sneakers simply by treading water in a swimming pool.Now, the Miami Heat star's popularity has declined so drastically that he's no longer one of the top 10 most marketable players in the NBA, according to the latest Nielse ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2011

    Udonis Haslem at Juiceblendz Grand Opening Saturday

    Miami Heat Udonis Haslem will sign your Smoothie on Saturday.​Juiceblendz in Weston is having a grand opening celebration this Saturday, June 25, with a special appearance by Miami Heat forward Udonis Haslem. Haslem will sign autographs from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. with a Smoothie purchase ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2011

    Top Three LeBron James/Miami Heat Memes to Commemorate the NBA Finals

    LeBron James plays to the tune of his tiny violin.​LeBron James brought his talents to Miami this year to complete what should have been the first ultimate triumvirate the NBA has ever seen.James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh were hailed as superheroes who were going to lead the Miami Heat to champ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2011

    A Vocabulary Lesson in Honor of LeBron James' Defeat

    Together at last, Wade and James crashed.​​Maverick (noun): An independent individual who does not go along with a group or party.Cavalier (noun): A gentleman trained in arms and horsemanship. Hubris (noun): Exaggerated pride or self-confidence, e.g. LeBron James. Not to belabor the point, but l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2011

    How a LeBron Hater Learned to Stop Loathing the Miami Heat

    It's tough to hate Dwyane Wade. ​Let's get one thing clear: I'm still angry with LeBron James. I think he's arrogant, immature, and full of an inflated sense of importance that was, ironically, fed by years of hero worship in his hometown of Cleveland. His decision to use a nationally televised ES ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2011

    Miami Heat White Hot Road Rally Tomorrow Night

    ​If you've been following the Miami Heat during this NBA post-season, you know the Three Kings and company have been white hot, tearing through playoff teams like Philadelphia and Boston with ease. Now, the Heat are poised to knock off Chicago in game five of the conference finals tomorrow night. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    New York Times Blasts Heat Fans for Mojitos and Empty Seats

    Too many empty seats greet Heat stars.​What's the problem, Miami Heat fans? Are you too busy sipping mojitos and grazing on patatas bravas to get your butts in the seats on time? Is it the economy? Do you secretly hate LeBron James as much as the rest of the country does?These are the allegations ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 17, 2011
  • Blogs

    March 7, 2011

    Were Miami Heat Players Actually Crying After Yesterday's Game?

    We know from Tom Hanks' famous quote in A League of Their Own, "There is no crying in baseball!" But is there is crying in basketball?If you believe what Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra had to say after yesterday's close loss to the Bulls, yes, Heat players were shedding tears in the locker room af ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2011

    Dwyane Wade: Phil Jackson Wants to Coach the Heat (Video)

    ​The Miami Heatles have certainly had an exciting first half of the season: "The Decision" drama, the rough start, the stretch of total domination (winning 21 of 22), the lessons in karma, the onslaught of injuries, and now another losing stint. (Last night's loss to the Knicks makes five losses i ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 27, 2011
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    December 30, 2010
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    December 23, 2010
  • Blogs

    December 18, 2010

    Top 5 'Justice Is Served' Moments Of The Week, From LeBron to a Former Madoff Investor

    via NBC Miami​Justice, or even injustice, is a concept often taken for granted as a function of democracy served in a courtroom. That is, until weeks like this come along, and we are reminded of what happens when people take justice into their own hands, in and out of the courts. Sometimes it's ug ... More >>

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