Subject:

NBA Southeast

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    Watch the Miami Heat's Pregame Video Shoot Sneak-Peek

    Fresh off their preseason victory over the Atlanta Hawks on Monday night, the Miami Heat is busy today shooting footage for its pregame introductions. And, as it has always been, it looks like it's going to be filled with a lot of smoke, a lot of screaming, and a lot of coolness. In other words, i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2013

    Did LeBron's Miami Mistress Try to Crash His Wedding?

    LeBron and the newly minted Mrs. James are honeymooning right now in Italy, no doubt hanging out in coastal villas, riding through the countryside on white colts, bathing in 100-year-old wines, and doing whatever else the 1 percent does when they're on a European vacation. But as we already told y ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2013

    Steve Kerr Says the Heat Won't Three-Peat in 2014

    In probably what is the least shocking news in the history of everything, former Chicago Bull and current TNT NBA analyst Steve Kerr says that the Miami Heat will fall short of a three-peat in 2014. In fact, he goes on to say that not only will the Heat not three-peat but that it'll not even make i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    10 Best Miami Pro Athlete Twitters to Follow

    Celebrity tweets can be an incoherent mess, or they can be 140 characters of dull insipid nothingness. This is especially true for pro athletes, most of whom hold their personalities in check and never venture outside their comfort zones to show their human side. Most pro athlete tweets are horr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2013

    LeBron James Says He's Happy In Miami; National Media Will Still Insist He's Going Elsewhere Anyway

    The Greatest Basketball Player in the Universe LeBron James sat down with ABC's Robin Roberts to discuss all things going on under the sun. Among those things is his impending free agency in the summer of 2014 that is sure to get make the national media's head 'splode. "I'm happy right now being in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2013

    Greg Oden to Sign with the Heat

    Greg Oden will sign with the Miami Heat. Oden, the former first-overall pick of the 2007 NBA Draft, has agreed to a two-year deal with Miami worth the veteran's minimum, with an opt-out next Summer, according to ESPN. Oden, who has had what was a promising career derailed by knee injuries, was dec ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 16, 2013

    Mike Miller Has Been Amnestied by Miami Heat

    According to multiple reports, the Miami Heat will amnesty Mike Miller. Although earlier reports said the Heat would not be exercising its amnesty clause this year, it looks like it's officially going to be Miller, AKA Let It Fly, AKA Teen Wolf, AKA Mystic Wolfman, AKA Pet Sematary, AKA Shoeless Mi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 10, 2013

    Miami Heat Re-Sign Birdman to One-Year Deal

    When the Miami Heat signed Chris Andersen his past January, your friendly neighborhood Pulpist called the acquisition a "low-risk, high reward for a team desperately in need of a high-energy-crash-the-boards-at all-costs kind of a player." NAILED IT. And now, the Birdman will be returning, as the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 26, 2013

    Baltimore Ravens Admit They Misportrayed Miami Heat Celebration On Twitter

    Yesterday, for reasons that still aren't entirely clear, the Baltimore Ravens picked a fight with the Miami Heat. And then got smacked in the mouth with a little thing called THE TRUTH. A little background: The Ravens were on Twitter yesterday afternoon and dispatched a fraud of a picture misportr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2013

    Miami Heat Championship Parade Almost Killed LeBron James

    When the Miami Heat clinched the NBA title last Thursday, we almost lost Chris Bosh to a stray piece of confetti that threatened to get lodged in his throat. Then, on Monday, during the team's championship parade through the streets of Miami, LeBron James was almost decapitated a few times by bridg ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2013

    MIAMI HEAT ARE 2013 NBA CHAMPIONS!

    After a gut-wrenching series that featured ups and downs and had all our balls in our stomachs, the Miami Heat has completed its quest for back-to-back championships and defeated the San Antonio Spurs in an epic Game 7. LeBron James brought the devastation, scoring 37 points, grabbing 12 rebounds, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2013

    Erik Spoelstra Needs to Play Dwyane Wade Less Tonight

    Here we are. Game 7 has arrived, and all the happy good fun times of that crazy Game 6 victory have turned back to angst-ridden nervousness. We'd be having a lot more fun with this if our balls weren't in our assholes right now. Still, it's here, and we need to buck up and get prepped. And as Hea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2013

    Miami Heat Storms Back Against Spurs in Epic Game 6 Comeback

    Seven seconds. The Miami Heat was seven seconds away from losing its NBA crown and watching the San Antonio Spurs celebrate a championship on its home court. Heat fans were seven seconds away from having their hearts ripped out of their chests and their souls condemned to a weary and sullen existe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2013

    Will Chris Bosh Be Let Go From Miami Heat? The Future of the Big Three

    As the Heat gets ready to take the floor for Game Six of the NBA Finals tonight, some players may have more on their minds than championship aspirations. Like the possibility that they'll be wearing a Miami jersey for the last time. We're not talking role players here either -- those changes are i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2013

    Heat Get Torched by Spurs Again, Are One Loss Away From Elimination

    Just as it was in Game 3 of these roller coaster NBA Finals, the San Antonio Spurs caught fire in Game 5, and torched the Miami Heat with a 60 percent shooting performance that has the world champs at the brink of total destruction. The series switches back to Miami (finally!), and the Heat will n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Explodes on the Spurs as Heat Ties Series 2-2

    Remember when Dwyane Wade was a liability to the Heat in these Finals and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft. Wade dropped his pants, and then he dropped 32 points in Miami's 109-93 Game 4 beatdown of the San Antonio Spurs to even the series at two-games apiece. MV3 turned on t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2013

    Spurs' Three-Point Barrage Devastates Heat in Game 3

    The Miami Heat entered San Antonio for Game 3 looking to build on its Game 2 19-point blowout win and take a 2-1 series lead. Instead, the Heat was routed 133-77, destroyed by a barrage of three-pointers from the Spurs that never seemed to end. Every time you looked, the Spurs were hitting anothe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2013

    LeBron James Obliterates Tiago Splitter With a Devastating Block, Leads Heat to 1-1 Series Tie

    With the Heat facing the prospect of having to travel to San Antonio down 0-2 in their best-of-seven NBA Finals series, Miami found itself in its most must-win game of the season on Sunday night. The Spurs had come off a gut-punching victory over Miami in Game 1, highlighted by a Tony Parker's circ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2013

    Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Spurs

    The Miami Heat were off to a fast start in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. From the tip-off, they controlled the tempo, played strong defense, and actually hit open J's. And then the fourth quarter happened. And the Heat suddenly morphed into a bunch of assholes in sneakers. And the Spurs' Tony Parker ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2013

    Miami Heat Wrecks the Pacers in Game 7, Heads for the NBA Finals for Third Straight Year

    Your Miami Heat is headed to its third-straight NBA Finals after vanquishing the Indiana Pacers in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, 99-76. While Indiana gave Miami all it could handle in this series, it was the Heat's stifling defense coupled with the world-devouring awesomeness of LeBron J ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2013

    LeBron James Scorches Pacers as Heat Takes Game 5

    After dropping Game 4 to the Indiana Pacers on Tuesday, the Heat found itself in a 2-2 tie in an Eastern Conference Finals that seemed to suffocate the life out of the world champs.Although the series was knotted up, it felt like Indiana was having its way with Miami, man-handling the Heat players a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 29, 2013

    Miami Heat Drop Game 4 to Pacers As Series Heads Back to Miami 2-2

    Thanks mostly to the Heat's role players shooting the basketball like it was a bag of piss, some putrid rebounding, strong play from the Pacers' Roy Hibbert, and a crapload of atrocious officiating from the referees, your 2013 Eastern Conference Finals is all knotted up at 2-2. After cracking the P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 23, 2013

    LeBron James Hits Game-Winning Shot in Overtime, Obliterates Pacers' Hopes Of Stealing Game 1

    The Indiana Pacers' Paul George had himself a coming out party. He led Indiana with 27 points, and hit an impossible 30-foot three-pointer to stun the Miami Heat and force overtime. Then, with just 2.2 seconds remaining in the OT, George hit three consecutive free throws to put the Pacers ahead. An ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    Miami Heat Decides It's Had Enough of the Bulls, Proceeds to Destroy Them

    The Chicago Bulls, fresh off having their their asses blown off in Friday's game three, decided to go the ole "HEAD GAMES" route before last night's game four. The Bulls turned the tables on the narrative of this series -- that they can't score, so therefore they need to nail option B, which is to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2013

    Miami Heat Unleash Hell Fire Vengeance on Bulls in Game Two

    O HAI WORLD CHAMPION MIAMI HEAT BASKETBALL After losing by seven to the Chicago Bulls and choking away Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semi-finals on Monday, the Heat decided to stuff all the Fucks they could find into giant garden-sized Glad bags, went into the American Airlines Arena for Game 2, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2013

    Erik Spoelstra Is Glad He Didn't Win Coach of the Year

    Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra did not win the 2013 NBA Coach of Year, coming in second in votes to Denver Nuggets coach George Karl. And that's the way Spo wants it. "I was probably more pleased this morning than George Karl," Spoelstra said when told Karl beat him for the award. The reas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2013

    Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Bulls

    Well now. That was a bit rough. A depleted Chicago Bulls came into the American Airlines Arena for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, saw fans clad in white, watched LeBron James receive his MVP trophy, and then went on to systematically bludgeon the world champs by having Joakim Noah sw ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2013

    Miami Sweeps Bucks as Udonis Haslem Inexplicably Finds His Jumper

    The Miami Heat was able to wrap up target practice with the Milwaukee Bucks on Sunday night by winning 88-77, giving the team its first-ever playoff sweep. The Bucks received a lesson in asshole-punching with a syllabus that included things like how to obliterate your opponent in four easy steps and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Miami Heat Won't Stay at Haunted Hotel in Milwaukee

    The Miami Heat are in Milwaukee to resume their first-round best-of-seven series against the Bucks. Games 3 and 4 will be played at the BMO Harris Bradley Center tonight and Sunday.But according to 790 the Ticket's morning radio show, the Heat has decided to stay at a different hotel than usual. Pri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 24, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Brings The Ruckus as Heat Takes Game 2 Against Bucks

    The Milwaukee Bucks proved to be a feisty bunch as they tried to even their best-of-seven series with the Miami Heat on Tuesday night. Even with Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis struggling for most of the game, Ersan Ilyasova, Larry Sanders, and Luc Mbah a Moute proved to be just an irksomely itchy ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2013

    LeBron James Has Milwaukee Bucks and the NBA Behold His Works and Despair

    While the Miami Heat has won 110-87 and taken a 1-0 series lead over the Milwaukee Bucks in the first round of the NBA Playoffs, it's pretty safe to say this one was over before it began. Not just the game. The whole damned series. This Heat team and, more to the point, LeBron James, are not ju ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2013

    Miami Heat 2013 Ass-Wrecking Tour Part II Starts Sunday

    Here we go, Heat fans.Now that the regular season is over, and the Miami Heat competed a team-best 66-win season, and all the media-myth created nonsense about LeBron James being a choker is over and done with, and all the media-myth created nonsense about Heat fans being the worst fanbase in the NB ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 12, 2013

    Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics: Eat the Teams Today at Coco's Corner Cafe

    Are you a Heat fan? Sure, that questions sounds easy, but since many south Floridians come from the northeast, there could, potentially, be just as many Boston Celtics fans out there. Look around you and put your conspiracy theory goggles on. Didn't the guy in accounting run the Boston Marathon once ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2013

    LeBron James Passed the Ball to Himself for a Monster Dunk

    With the national media crowning the New York Knicks the 2013 NBA Finals Champions this past week, it was easy to forget that the Miami Heat are on the verge of breaking the all-time franchise win mark and clinching homecourt advantage throughout the playoffs. It's also easy to forget that LeBron J ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2013

    Pat Riley Wants the Miami Heat to Keep Destroying the NBA for Another Ten Seasons

    As LeBron James has plowed through the league in a Heat uniform, laying waste to NBA teams and haters since arriving in the summer of 2010, one nagging "report" has continued to nag at the center of it all: LeBron might opt out of his 2014 Miami Heat contract and go back to Cleveland! While those i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2013

    Chris Bosh, Miami Heat Take Down San Antonio Spurs Without LeBron James and Dwyane Wade

    Prior to Sunday's big-time-holy-crap-it's-maybe-a-possible-NBA-Finals-preview game against the mighty San Antonio Spurs, Miami Heat Head Coach Erik Spoelstra announced that the team would be without LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Mario Chalmers. All three were apparently dinged up and in need of re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2013

    Smashburger Giving Heat Fans Free Burgers Today and Every Day Following a Win

    Basketball season has been good to Heat fans this year. With a 58 to 15 record of wins, it's no surprise to see South Floridians all riled up at the office water-cooler. Well, locals have yet another reason to get excited about Miami Heat wins. Smashburger is rewarding Heat fans with free ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2013

    Miami Heat Winning Streak Ends at 27

    Last night, the Chicago Bulls finally got revenge for the 1996 game in which a depleted Miami Heat team beat Michael Jordan's 72-win team 113-104 by ending the 2013 Heat's chase for the all-time NBA winning streak. With no Derrick Rose or Joakim Noah, the short-handed Bulls came out swinging agains ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2013

    Top Ten Moments of the Miami Heat's 27-Game Winning Streak in GIF Form!

    The Miami Heat's epic run at the all-time NBA winning streak came to an end in Chicago on Wednesday night.And while the HATERZ and media and other various forms of troglodytic internet dwellers are celebrating a regular-season loss that is essentially as meaningless as their lives today, Heat fans a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 25, 2013

    Jim Larranaga Dancing, Heat Winning Streak, FGCU: Florida Is Suddenly The Mecca of Basketball

    In what has become the perfect storm of face-smashing dunks, fearsome jumpers, and all-around hardwood awesomeness, Florida is right now, officially, the mecca of basketball. Thanks to the Miami Heat, Miami Hurricanes Men's basketball team, and the rise of the mightiest of underdogs in Florida Gulf ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2013

    LeBron James and the Miami Heat Are a Walking Epic Poem: Miami Overcomes 27-Point Deficit to Win 24th Straight

    The Cleveland Cavaliers tried everything to end the Miami Heat's record-setting win streak on Wednesday night. They tried the ole "weird oily substance that leaks from the ceiling and delays the game for 35 minutes" trick. They tried the "crazy fan runs onto the court in the middle of the game wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2013

    LeBron James Is Glad It Was Jason Terry He Obliterated With That Dunk

    Unless you've been trapped under something (or someone) heavy the past 24 hours, you've seen the video of LeBron James utterly destroying Celtics bigmouth Jason Terry with something that can only be described as The Dunk of Annihilation. Because the internet is an awesome place, video of the dunk i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2013

    Miami Heat Wrecks Celtic Ass as It Earns Record 23rd-Straight Win

    The Miami Heat walked into the all-consuming ocean of douche and insufferableness that is Boston's TD Garden Monday night and laid its record-setting 22-game winning streak on the line. The Celtics were ready from the GO and came at the Heat with a furious effort that spawned a career night for Jef ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 14, 2013

    Miami Heat Makes It 20 Wins in a Row

    Things started pretty much how you'd expect from a team heading into its second night of a back-to-back road set for the Miami Heat on Wednesday night. And the Philadelphia 76ers were more than ready and willing to clobber the Heat with a snow shovel to the face and be the team to end Miami's soul- ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2013

    Miami Heat Reminded the Indiana Pacers Whose World It Is

    The reaction among the experts, media and haterz the world-over after the Indiana Pacers had roughed up and beaten the Miami Heat in the teams' first two meetings this season was that the Pacers clearly had Miami's number, and that the Heat might as well go the way of the Montreal Expos and no longe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2013

    Minnesota Timberwolves "Harlem Shake" Video Inspired by Butthurt

    In case you weren't aware, the Miami Heat went into a cold, miserable, decrepit city whose sole claim to fame is that they have a giant mall (nice job, you guys!) on Monday night and completely blew up the Minnesota Timberwolves' collective assholes into oblivion by a score of 97-81. See also: -Mia ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 4, 2013

    LeBron James Ruined New York's Good Times

    DIS WUZ SAPPOS'D TAH BE DA SUMMAH O' NEW YOAWK. DA YEAH DA KNICKS BRAWT LARRY OH BRY-YAN BACK TA DA MEKKA -- DA GAHDEN. MELO AND JAY AHH SMITH WERE GONNA RESTOAH GLOREE TA DA GREATEST CITY ON DA FACE O'DA EARF! SIMPLY BY VIRTUW OF BEIN DA KNICKS. WUTDAFUCKHAPPEN'D? It might be hard for Knicks fans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2013

    LeBron James and Dwyane Wade Brought the Ruckus Against the Feisty Sacramento Kings

    The Sacramento Kings putting up 129 points on the Miami Heat at the Triple-A and forcing two overtimes is as absurd as IKEA selling meat. And yet, there it is. The Kings came into Miami's house, put their feet up on the table, ate all the food, and scratched their balls on our couch. A feisty bunc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2013

    Miami Heat Takes Down Bulls, Wins Ninth Straight

    The Miami Heat is currently riding a nine-game winning streak through a subtle yet delicate and refined mixture of sound fundamental basketball and relentlessly and mercilessly smashing opponents in the face. The latest victim of the maelstrom of ass-bludgeoning was the Chicago Bulls. Battling thr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2013

    Miami Heat Start Second Half of Season With Takedown of Hawks

    There's always concern when a team on a hot streak gets assaulted by the NBA All-Star game and everyone's gotta stop playing so the media can make a big deal out of Kobe Bryant's blocking LeBron James' shot in the most meaningless game of the year. And that concern was not immediately alleviated wh ... More >>

  • More >>
Loading...