Subject:

National Basketball Association

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2014

    Six Greatest Mike Miller Moments with the Miami Heat

    Mike Miller will be making his first visit back to the American Airlines Arena tonight since being amnestied and signing with the Memphis Grizzlies. And the Miami Heat have already announced that they'll be giving him his 2013 NBA championship ring during a special ceremony prior to tip-off. Acco ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 4, 2014

    LeBron James Drops 61 on Bobcats, Breaking Heat Franchise Record

    The entire NBA season has seen the national media try to give the MVP award to the Pacers' Paul George or the Thunder's Kevin Durant. But then along comes a night like Monday night, when LeBron James steps in to preserve the natural order of the universe by raining destruction down from the heaven ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 28, 2014

    LeBron James Wore a Batman Mask to Destroy the New York Knicks

    LeBron James is the hero Miami deserves. It was exactly one week ago since James broke his nose against the Oklahoma City Thunder. And after missing one game in between, LeBron returned to the night to fill his enemies with dread like Batman. Literally. Much to the delight of the internet, James ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 26, 2014

    LeBron James Bought the Heat WWE Championship Belts

    In case you weren't aware, the Miami Heat are just better than every other basketball team on the planet. Not just because they've been to the NBA Finals three years in a row, and won the Finals two years in a row. And not just because they have Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh. And not just because the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2014

    Watch LeBron James Sing "Back That Azz Up"

    Miami Heat forward Shane Battier hosted the third annual South Beach Battioke event Monday night, where Heat players are given the opportunity to grab a mic and sing karaoke as loudly and poorly as they want. The event, which was held at the Fillmore Theater in Miami Beach, and raised money for The ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2014

    Obama to Honor the Miami Heat for Being the Most Awesome Basketball Team on the Planet, Again

    As you may recall, the Miami Heat completely obliterated the entire NBA last year en route to their second-consecutive championship (third overall for the franchise). So, as is custom in this great nation of ours, the President of the United States of America will be honoring the Heat at the White ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2013

    Miami Heat's Best Christmas Day Game Moments

    The Miami Heat's first ever Christmas Day game was in 1997 when they lost to Michael Jordan's Chicago Bulls. Since then, the Heat have played 9 other times in the NBA's annual X-Mas game, going 7-2 in that span. The Heat will face the L.A. Lakers today at 5:00p.m. for their 10th go-round as the re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2013

    LeBron James Keeps Proving He's Awesome

    The Miami Heat took down the Minnesota Timberwolves 103-82 on Saturday, giving the Heat its 15th win of the season. The game gave us so much more, though. Namely, more proof that LeBron James -- despite exercising his right to leave one team to go play for another team when his contract ended -- re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2013

    Miami Heat Players Fell Asleep After Their Thanksgiving Dinner

    With the Miami Heat having to play a game in Cleveland on Wednesday (really, NBA? Send the two-time champion on the road during Thanksgiving to Cleveland?), LeBron James hosted the team for Thanksgiving dinner Thursday at his Akron mansion. And, as it is with this team, once dinner was over, the cr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2013

    Ohioans Start Ridiculously Stupid "Come Home LeBron" Campaign

    I didn't throw any batteries at LeBron, but I could probably pick some faces out of a line up. It was December 2, 2010. The Miami Heat were making their first post-Decision trip to Cleveland. To put in mildly, my bruised hometown was still not over King James choice to leave town. Quicken Loans Aren ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Won the Internet Yesterday

    The Miami Heat loves winning championships. But in between all the championship winning, the players also love their fans, and they love fun. And no one typified that better than Dwyane Wade last night, before and after the Heat took down the Phoenix Suns 107-92. For starters, Wade gave away two o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2013

    Heat Plays Boston, Err, Brooklyn, Tonight: Five Keys to the Game

    So our boys face off against the Celtics Nets tonight at 8 p.m.on ESPN and things are looking bleak. Firstly, Dwyane Wade sat out the last game and LeBron has been shooting like, well, not LeBron lately. Secondly, the Nets whacked the Heat twice in the preseason. Third, Nets center Brook Lopez is a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2013

    Mike Miller Might Sue the Heat Over "Bling King" Scam

    While Mike Miller is no longer with the Miami Heat (he was amnestied over the summer, and is now with the Memphis Grizzlies) he'll always have a special place in Heat lore. Who can forget his Game 5 NBA Finals performance against the Thunder when he put down 7 three-pointers? Or his one-shoe heroic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 23, 2013

    Miami Heat to Wear Gold Uniforms on Opening Night

    The Miami Heat kicks off its run at a three-peat on October 29 (THAT'S, LIKE, A WEEK AWAY!) when it hosts the nonsmiling Derrick Rose and nonshowering Joakim Noah and rest of the Chicago Bulls. On that same night, the Heat will be unveiling its third NBA Finals Champions banner, which will be rais ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2013

    LeBron James Will Stay With Heat, Say Handful of Random NBA Players

    No one knows if LeBron James is staying with the Miami Heat or if he's bolting via free agency next summer. But that didn't stop ESPN the Magazine from going ahead and asking random current NBA players in an arbitrary poll anyway. And according to 71 percent of these players, LeBron is going to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    Watch the Miami Heat's Pregame Video Shoot Sneak-Peek

    Fresh off their preseason victory over the Atlanta Hawks on Monday night, the Miami Heat is busy today shooting footage for its pregame introductions. And, as it has always been, it looks like it's going to be filled with a lot of smoke, a lot of screaming, and a lot of coolness. In other words, i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2013

    Did LeBron's Miami Mistress Try to Crash His Wedding?

    LeBron and the newly minted Mrs. James are honeymooning right now in Italy, no doubt hanging out in coastal villas, riding through the countryside on white colts, bathing in 100-year-old wines, and doing whatever else the 1 percent does when they're on a European vacation. But as we already told y ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2013

    Steve Kerr Says the Heat Won't Three-Peat in 2014

    In probably what is the least shocking news in the history of everything, former Chicago Bull and current TNT NBA analyst Steve Kerr says that the Miami Heat will fall short of a three-peat in 2014. In fact, he goes on to say that not only will the Heat not three-peat but that it'll not even make i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    10 Best Miami Pro Athlete Twitters to Follow

    Celebrity tweets can be an incoherent mess, or they can be 140 characters of dull insipid nothingness. This is especially true for pro athletes, most of whom hold their personalities in check and never venture outside their comfort zones to show their human side. Most pro athlete tweets are horr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2013

    LeBron James Says He's Happy In Miami; National Media Will Still Insist He's Going Elsewhere Anyway

    The Greatest Basketball Player in the Universe LeBron James sat down with ABC's Robin Roberts to discuss all things going on under the sun. Among those things is his impending free agency in the summer of 2014 that is sure to get make the national media's head 'splode. "I'm happy right now being in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2013

    Greg Oden to Sign with the Heat

    Greg Oden will sign with the Miami Heat. Oden, the former first-overall pick of the 2007 NBA Draft, has agreed to a two-year deal with Miami worth the veteran's minimum, with an opt-out next Summer, according to ESPN. Oden, who has had what was a promising career derailed by knee injuries, was dec ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 26, 2013

    LeBron James Chooses the Soundtrack to NBA2K14 Videogame

    LeBron James is so ball-crushingly awesome at basketball that he is now officially the first NBA player who's on the cover who got to choose the soundtrack for the best-selling NBA2K14 videogame. 2K Sports announced Friday that LeBron has chosen 20 songs for the videogame. He's also gracing the co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 16, 2013

    Mike Miller Has Been Amnestied by Miami Heat

    According to multiple reports, the Miami Heat will amnesty Mike Miller. Although earlier reports said the Heat would not be exercising its amnesty clause this year, it looks like it's officially going to be Miller, AKA Let It Fly, AKA Teen Wolf, AKA Mystic Wolfman, AKA Pet Sematary, AKA Shoeless Mi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 10, 2013

    Miami Heat Re-Sign Birdman to One-Year Deal

    When the Miami Heat signed Chris Andersen his past January, your friendly neighborhood Pulpist called the acquisition a "low-risk, high reward for a team desperately in need of a high-energy-crash-the-boards-at all-costs kind of a player." NAILED IT. And now, the Birdman will be returning, as the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 26, 2013

    Baltimore Ravens Admit They Misportrayed Miami Heat Celebration On Twitter

    Yesterday, for reasons that still aren't entirely clear, the Baltimore Ravens picked a fight with the Miami Heat. And then got smacked in the mouth with a little thing called THE TRUTH. A little background: The Ravens were on Twitter yesterday afternoon and dispatched a fraud of a picture misportr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2013

    Cleveland Weatherman Refuses to Say "Heat" After Miami's NBA Championship Win

    Let me just say that no one keeps a grudge going like a Clevelander. I know; I'm from there. We keep whetting that angst well past the usual expiration date. There's nothing we can do. It's in the blood. (By the way, two words, LeBron: Delonte West.) Just so we have that cleared up: Last week, aft ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2013

    Miami Heat Championship Parade Almost Killed LeBron James

    When the Miami Heat clinched the NBA title last Thursday, we almost lost Chris Bosh to a stray piece of confetti that threatened to get lodged in his throat. Then, on Monday, during the team's championship parade through the streets of Miami, LeBron James was almost decapitated a few times by bridg ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2013

    MIAMI HEAT ARE 2013 NBA CHAMPIONS!

    After a gut-wrenching series that featured ups and downs and had all our balls in our stomachs, the Miami Heat has completed its quest for back-to-back championships and defeated the San Antonio Spurs in an epic Game 7. LeBron James brought the devastation, scoring 37 points, grabbing 12 rebounds, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2013

    Erik Spoelstra Needs to Play Dwyane Wade Less Tonight

    Here we are. Game 7 has arrived, and all the happy good fun times of that crazy Game 6 victory have turned back to angst-ridden nervousness. We'd be having a lot more fun with this if our balls weren't in our assholes right now. Still, it's here, and we need to buck up and get prepped. And as Hea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2013

    Miami Heat Storms Back Against Spurs in Epic Game 6 Comeback

    Seven seconds. The Miami Heat was seven seconds away from losing its NBA crown and watching the San Antonio Spurs celebrate a championship on its home court. Heat fans were seven seconds away from having their hearts ripped out of their chests and their souls condemned to a weary and sullen existe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2013

    "Boston Strong" Fundraiser for "The One Fund" at Boston's on the Beach

    Don't let the ocean view fool you. With Larry Bird memorabilia lining the walls, the Celtics game on the TVs, and the best New England clam chowder you'll get outside of the Northeast, Boston's on the Beach is intrinsically linked to its namesake city. More than 1,400 miles away, this joint experien ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2013

    Will Chris Bosh Be Let Go From Miami Heat? The Future of the Big Three

    As the Heat gets ready to take the floor for Game Six of the NBA Finals tonight, some players may have more on their minds than championship aspirations. Like the possibility that they'll be wearing a Miami jersey for the last time. We're not talking role players here either -- those changes are i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2013

    Heat Get Torched by Spurs Again, Are One Loss Away From Elimination

    Just as it was in Game 3 of these roller coaster NBA Finals, the San Antonio Spurs caught fire in Game 5, and torched the Miami Heat with a 60 percent shooting performance that has the world champs at the brink of total destruction. The series switches back to Miami (finally!), and the Heat will n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Explodes on the Spurs as Heat Ties Series 2-2

    Remember when Dwyane Wade was a liability to the Heat in these Finals and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft. Wade dropped his pants, and then he dropped 32 points in Miami's 109-93 Game 4 beatdown of the San Antonio Spurs to even the series at two-games apiece. MV3 turned on t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2013

    Spurs' Three-Point Barrage Devastates Heat in Game 3

    The Miami Heat entered San Antonio for Game 3 looking to build on its Game 2 19-point blowout win and take a 2-1 series lead. Instead, the Heat was routed 133-77, destroyed by a barrage of three-pointers from the Spurs that never seemed to end. Every time you looked, the Spurs were hitting anothe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2013

    LeBron James Obliterates Tiago Splitter With a Devastating Block, Leads Heat to 1-1 Series Tie

    With the Heat facing the prospect of having to travel to San Antonio down 0-2 in their best-of-seven NBA Finals series, Miami found itself in its most must-win game of the season on Sunday night. The Spurs had come off a gut-punching victory over Miami in Game 1, highlighted by a Tony Parker's circ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2013

    Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Spurs

    The Miami Heat were off to a fast start in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. From the tip-off, they controlled the tempo, played strong defense, and actually hit open J's. And then the fourth quarter happened. And the Heat suddenly morphed into a bunch of assholes in sneakers. And the Spurs' Tony Parker ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2013

    Eight Reasons San Antonio Is the Worst Place Ever

    So last night didn't exactly go as planned. Thanks to some Globetrotter gymnastics on the part of Tony Parker, San Antonio took the lead in the NBA finals 1-0. Something certainly kick-started the old-ass Spurs on the court. It might have just been the fact that they were playing for all the marbles ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2013

    Miami Heat Wrecks the Pacers in Game 7, Heads for the NBA Finals for Third Straight Year

    Your Miami Heat is headed to its third-straight NBA Finals after vanquishing the Indiana Pacers in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, 99-76. While Indiana gave Miami all it could handle in this series, it was the Heat's stifling defense coupled with the world-devouring awesomeness of LeBron J ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2013

    LeBron James Scorches Pacers as Heat Takes Game 5

    After dropping Game 4 to the Indiana Pacers on Tuesday, the Heat found itself in a 2-2 tie in an Eastern Conference Finals that seemed to suffocate the life out of the world champs.Although the series was knotted up, it felt like Indiana was having its way with Miami, man-handling the Heat players a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 29, 2013

    Miami Heat Drop Game 4 to Pacers As Series Heads Back to Miami 2-2

    Thanks mostly to the Heat's role players shooting the basketball like it was a bag of piss, some putrid rebounding, strong play from the Pacers' Roy Hibbert, and a crapload of atrocious officiating from the referees, your 2013 Eastern Conference Finals is all knotted up at 2-2. After cracking the P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 23, 2013

    LeBron James Hits Game-Winning Shot in Overtime, Obliterates Pacers' Hopes Of Stealing Game 1

    The Indiana Pacers' Paul George had himself a coming out party. He led Indiana with 27 points, and hit an impossible 30-foot three-pointer to stun the Miami Heat and force overtime. Then, with just 2.2 seconds remaining in the OT, George hit three consecutive free throws to put the Pacers ahead. An ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    Miami Heat Decides It's Had Enough of the Bulls, Proceeds to Destroy Them

    The Chicago Bulls, fresh off having their their asses blown off in Friday's game three, decided to go the ole "HEAD GAMES" route before last night's game four. The Bulls turned the tables on the narrative of this series -- that they can't score, so therefore they need to nail option B, which is to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 10, 2013

    Miami Dolphins Might Move Out of Miami All the Way to... Palm Beach!

    Ah the Miami Dolphins. They do everything exceptional. Draft exceptionally... sign free agents exceptionally... score exceptionally... win exceptionally, and have exceptional ideas to make Super Bowl weekend exceptional. And now they are excelling at pulling off the ole "You Didn't Give Us Want W ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2013

    Miami Heat Unleash Hell Fire Vengeance on Bulls in Game Two

    O HAI WORLD CHAMPION MIAMI HEAT BASKETBALL After losing by seven to the Chicago Bulls and choking away Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semi-finals on Monday, the Heat decided to stuff all the Fucks they could find into giant garden-sized Glad bags, went into the American Airlines Arena for Game 2, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2013

    Erik Spoelstra Is Glad He Didn't Win Coach of the Year

    Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra did not win the 2013 NBA Coach of Year, coming in second in votes to Denver Nuggets coach George Karl. And that's the way Spo wants it. "I was probably more pleased this morning than George Karl," Spoelstra said when told Karl beat him for the award. The reas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2013

    Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Bulls

    Well now. That was a bit rough. A depleted Chicago Bulls came into the American Airlines Arena for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, saw fans clad in white, watched LeBron James receive his MVP trophy, and then went on to systematically bludgeon the world champs by having Joakim Noah sw ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2013

    Miami Sweeps Bucks as Udonis Haslem Inexplicably Finds His Jumper

    The Miami Heat was able to wrap up target practice with the Milwaukee Bucks on Sunday night by winning 88-77, giving the team its first-ever playoff sweep. The Bucks received a lesson in asshole-punching with a syllabus that included things like how to obliterate your opponent in four easy steps and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Miami Heat Won't Stay at Haunted Hotel in Milwaukee

    The Miami Heat are in Milwaukee to resume their first-round best-of-seven series against the Bucks. Games 3 and 4 will be played at the BMO Harris Bradley Center tonight and Sunday.But according to 790 the Ticket's morning radio show, the Heat has decided to stay at a different hotel than usual. Pri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 24, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Brings The Ruckus as Heat Takes Game 2 Against Bucks

    The Milwaukee Bucks proved to be a feisty bunch as they tried to even their best-of-seven series with the Miami Heat on Tuesday night. Even with Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis struggling for most of the game, Ersan Ilyasova, Larry Sanders, and Luc Mbah a Moute proved to be just an irksomely itchy ... More >>

  • More >>
Loading...