Polk County

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2014

    Florida Panther's Return Spells Doom for Gladesmen

    Jack Laban swears a cat was out here raising hell just this morning. Mosquitoes slurp blood through the 94-year-old shirtless Gladesman's baggy skin as he hobbles across a landfill of empty Pepsi cans and settles into a folding chair. The former Miami plumber with a full head of white hair uses a ro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 10, 2014

    Florida to Execute Convicted Child Rapist and Murderer Today

    Eddie Wayne Davis, from Polk County, will be the seventh execution in the State of Florida so far this year when -- at 6 p.m. today -- he's injected with midazolam hydrochloride, vecuronium bromide and potassium chloride. In 1994, when Davis was 25, he was in a community development in Lakeland sc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2014

    Crystal Metheney, Edward Cocaine, Brittany Boozel Are Real Florida Names

    Ladies and gentlemen, allows us to introduce you to Ms. Crystal Metheney. You didn't read that wrong. Your mind isn't screwing around with you. This woman from Polk County has the perfect Florida name. She was arrested back in early May. The charge: shooting a "missile" into a "occupied vehicle." ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 3, 2014

    The Six Dumbest Florida Criminals for February

    Ah, Florida.  Sure, we have criminals, just like every other state. But we have our own special kind of criminals. Namely, dumb ones. And, because we're never in short supply of dumb criminals, we present to you our latest series of the dumbest Florida criminals of the month. February was ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2014

    Cops Find Frozen Alligators, Hundreds of Grams of Meth in Florida Home

    Polk County police found what is probably the most Florida thing during a search following an arrest on Tuesday. And by "the most Florida thing," we mean, an illegal fish, a weed plant, hundreds of grams of meth, twin 10-month-old babies lying near the baggies, and two frozen alligators. We believ ... More >>

  • News

    December 26, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 29, 2013

    Frankenforests in Florida: Campaign Condemns Genetically Engineered Trees, Hassles with UF

    Like we don't have enough to worry about, now it's forests. According to environmentalists touring the Southeast with the traveling teach-in "The Growing Threat," the creation of enormous plantations of genetically engineered trees -- by corporate interests allied with Big Energy -- poses ecological ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2013

    9-Year-Old Survivor of RV Park Massacre Sues DCF

    With his system overloaded with cocaine, amphetamines, morphine, and opiates, William De Jesus went on a bloody spree at a Deerfield Beach RV park in February 2012. He shot and killed a 76-year-old Canadian man, then locked himself inside a trailer with his family. By the time police broke through t ... More >>

  • News

    September 12, 2013
  • Blogs

    September 12, 2013

    Terry Jones, Islam-Hating Wacko Pastor, Arrested Trying to Burn 2,998 Qur'ans in Barbecue Grill

    We all go through these small-scale personal ceremonies on days like September 11. You might light some candles or call up a buddy whose brother died when the towers tumbled. Terry Jones, the riot-inducing Florida pastor with the 19th-century facial hair and ninth-century sense of religious convic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2013

    D'Anthony Davis, Owner Of Emaciated Doberman, Arrested On Charges Of Domestic Violence

    Fort Lauderdale police have charged the owner of an emaciated doberman on charges stemming from an unrelated incident in Polk County. When police investigated social media reports of a starving dog at 1636 Northeast 17th Avenue, they discovered 23-year-old D'Anthony Dontrel Davis -- who had three a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2013

    The Joker Terrorizes Florida Neighborhood by Throwing Rocks at Things

    A guy who trashed a cop car a couple of times, and then burglarized a home in Polk County decided that he was no ordinary vandal but that he was, in fact, The Joker. And while The Joker from the Batman movies is a demented clown guy that kills people and then laughs maniacally, this real life Joker ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2013

    Cop Accused of Making Woman Shake Out Her Bra During Traffic Stop

    A Lakeland Police officer thought a woman he pulled over had drugs on her, so he asked her to hand them over by allegedly asking the woman to lift her shirt, pull her bra, and shake her chest. No drugs fell out. Unsatisfied with this turn of events and apparently unconvinced that gravity is a thin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    Man on Honeymoon Busted for Soliciting a Prostitute

    A man from Illinois was honeymooning with his new bride in Orlando when he allegedly decided to leave their honeymoon suite at the Omni Hotel in Champions Gate to go pay another woman for sex. The newlywed woman had noticed her man had gone missing and called the cops. She would soon learn that her ... More >>

  • News

    August 16, 2012
  • Blogs

    January 5, 2012

    Creed at 15: Pretty Tolerable Without Music Videos

    ​Creed's debut album, My Own Prison, will be 15 years old in 2012. To celebrate, the band's playing the record and follow-up Human Clay in full as part of intimate two-night engagements around the country in April and May. Hand-wringing and eye-rolling ensued among those with whom County Grind dis ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2011

    Florida Designates Special Hunting Areas for Wounded Veterans

    Hunting and fishing trips are becoming more popular for vets.​Stalking alligators in a swamp is not the only way veterans can bond and heal during outdoor adventures in Florida. In May, the Legislature passed a bill designating certain portions of state forests hunting areas for injured activ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2011

    "Brain-Eating Amoeba" On the Loose, if British Tabloid Is to Be Trusted

    The Daily Mail​A little-known killer is making its way through the southern United States, according to the British tabloid The Daily Mail: a "brain-eating amoeba" called Naegleria fowleri. Victims so far include one 16-year-old girl from Florida, Courtney Nash, who reportedly died after swimming ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2011

    Polk County Jail Stops Giving Out Underwear. Prepare for Commando Criminals

    randomfartings.blogspot.comYou have to pay for this look in the Polk County jail.​The Polk County jail is going to be home to some free-swinging criminals starting in August.According to the Polk Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Donna Wood, as part of a cost-cutting measure, the jail will no longer pr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2011

    Does the Sun-Sentinel Hate Atheists?

    Will he smite bad bloggers with his noodly appendage?​Could the Sun-Sentinel's corporate overlords at Tribune Co. please explain why Barbara Hijek has a job? Could they please explain why a paper at which honest-to-goodness investigative reporters and serious editorialists were not long ago pressu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2011

    15-Year-Old Prostitute Arrested Along With Pimp, 58 Others

    ​Sixty souls were apprehended in Polk County over the last week, as Polk's finest spent your tax payer dollars arresting sex-workers and their clients. Among the apprehended were a sex-starved Disney mechanic and a man with breast implants who advertised his services on ( ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2010

    Florida's Eight Most Wanted Sexual Predators

    Photo: FDLEEnrique Soto​It takes an especially brutal sex crime to qualify a sex offender as a "predator." The Florida Department of Law Enforcement currently lists eight sexual predators who have absconded -- meaning they're not living at the address in the sex offender registry. Based on th ... More >>

  • Culture

    October 30, 2008

    Empty Seats, Empty Suits

    History is like a lead weight in deep water — in two different productions

  • News

    June 29, 2006

    Deputy Do-Wrong

    Lewis Perry slipped through BSO's porous screening process. For the Gomez family, the results were tragic.

  • News

    April 13, 2006

    Who Do I Have to Whack to Raise My Google Profile?

    Radio right-winger Doug Goetzloe tries another political hit for Internet ratings.

  • News

    October 20, 2005

    No Touchy

    Keep Your Blood, Bud

  • News

    February 24, 2005


    Magnificent Moths

  • News

    January 13, 2005

    Sex Talk

    The Etiquette of Whoring

  • News

    August 22, 2002

    Net Free

    A whimsical journey on the wings of a butterfly

    By Susan Eastman

  • News

    May 30, 2002

    Dr. Strange Train

    Or: How I learned to start worrying and hate the bullet train

  • News

    November 15, 2001


    Florida House minority leader Lois Frankel is waging an impossible campaign for governor

  • News

    January 25, 2001

    Train in Vain

    Millionaire Charles Croffard Dockery dreams of creating a high-speed bullet train in Florida. Sound crazy? Wait until you hear the details.