Rick Scott

Rick Scott Kills Florida Wildflower Bill, Because No Free Handouts for Them Either!

Looks like literally every living thing in Florida wants a handout these days! What is this? Mother Russia? First, people want the government to help them pay for their obscenely high and burdensome medical bills. Pfft! Then, people want the government to make it OK for businesses to keep paying ... More >>

Rick Scott's Cuts Dilute Water Laws

Rick Scott Doesn't Want Undocumented Immigrants' Kids to Have Drivers Licenses

Sorry kids of undocumented immigraaants. You're just gonna have to hitchhike to get to class on time. Thanks to Governatron Rick Scott, who vetoed the "Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals" bill, which would have allowed you to have a temporary Florida driver's license. The measure would have giv ... More >>

Appeals Court (Maybe?) Sides With Rick Scott on State Employee Drug Testing

This is obviously why it takes three years to get through law school: the courts are whack as hell. Case in point, today's decision coming out of the federal appeals court on whether Rick Scott can pee-test state employees for drug use. Following the announcement, both sides of the dispute are claim ... More >>

Rick Scott Signs Texting-and-Driving Ban Into Law

Looks like Florida has finally joined in on the texting-and-driving-ban palooza after Gov. Rick Scott officially made it illegal to do so. Scott signed the bill on Tuesday, making Florida the 40th state to enact some sort of text-while-driving ban. Florida drivers will not be able to write or rea ... More >>

Rick Scott To Sign Texting-and-Driving Ban Bill

It looks like Florida's texting-and-driving ban, which was at one point was almost derailed by the House added some frivolous amendments to it last month, will become a thing when Rick Scott signs it into law next week. The bill barely made it to the governor's desk thanks to an amendment the House ... More >>

Rick Scott Signs Bill That Extends Early Voting Days, Two Years After He Shortened Them

Remember when Rick Scott shortened early voting days, and then denied a request to extend it by a whole day back in November when reports kept coming in that people were waiting up to 8 hours in line to vote? WELL, NEITHER DOES RICK SCOTT. Because he's your early voting champion now. And he made i ... More >>

While Rick Scott Vetoes Tuition Hike, BroCo & PBC Get $11 Million In Pork Spending

It's veto day! The happiest day of the year for Rick Scott, who, for a moment at least, can appear both judicious and magnanimous. On this day, he can decide, with one stroke of his mighty gubernatorial pen, which projects will net funding. And which will not. Rick Scott announced yesterday he'll ... More >>

Allen West as Rick Scott's Lieutenant Governor? We Say Yes!

Rick Scott may have opened the door to what would be quite the dynamic duo of derpness at the top. Scott told a Tampa-area radio station that he would be cool with considering former Rep. Allen West as his next lieutenant governor. Actually, Scott basically just gave a polite answer when asked abou ... More >>

Texting and Driving Ban Passes Senate, Now Needs Gov. Rick Scott's Signature

It's been beaten up, watered down and almost died a slow painful death, but it looks like the bill that will ban texting and driving in Florida is going to become a law as soon as Gov. Rick Scott signs it. See also: - Texting-and-Driving Ban May Be Dying a Slow Death Just days ago, it seemed as if ... More >>

New Florida Law Will Speed Up Death Row Executions; Will Rick Scott Sign Bill?

A defining moment of Rick Scott's political career is at hand, in a form no one would have predicted. New legislation concerning the death penalty is on its way to his desk. If he signs it, the Sunshine State may embark on an official killing spree. Florida has long stood out among the 50 states in ... More >>

Drone-Banning Bill Passes Florida Senate Unanimously

Good news, everyone! It looks like it's going to be a little harder for the government to vaporize you with a drone, thanks to a 39-0 vote by the Florida Senate for SB 92. Sponsored by Sen. Joe Negron, who is the chamber's appropriations chair, the bill will keep local law enforcement officials fro ... More >>

Internet Cafés Are Officially Banned in Florida

Gov. Rick Scott officially made internet cafés go kaput Wednesday afternoon, when he signed legislation that bans up to 1,000 internet gaming storefronts across the state. See also: -Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Has Resigned The new law is in large part thanks to Allied Veterans, an intern ... More >>

Rick Scott and Rick Perry Brought Their Comedy Show to Palm Beach

Florida Gov. Rick Scott and Texas Gov. Rick Perry brought their zany comedy-duo routine to the Palm Beach Strategic Forum at the Palm Beach County Convention Center on Monday when they both took the stage at the same time. It was like Lex Luthor and Montogmery Burns together in one room! The Ricks s ... More >>

Rick Scott Asks Court To Please Let Him Drug Test State Workers

Rick Scott really, really, still very much wants people to pee into a cup randomly if he's going to give them financial help or let government workers keep getting a paycheck. Last month, the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that an earlier ruling by a lower court to stop ... More >>

Huffington Post Totally Clueless About Rick Scott

We get a lot of e-mails from Rick Scott. Like a lot. He never forgets his friendly neighborhood media, and he's always appointing someone to some bureaucracy somewhere. But two days ago, he hit us with this Huffington Post article that made everyone go, "Wuuuuuuhhhh"?? The article concerns how swe ... More >>

Rick Scott Would Lose to Charlie Crist by 16 Points, According to Latest Poll

Rick Scott continues to be unliked by many amounts of people, despite the fact that he's changed his mind about things like Medicaid expansion and despite adding more early voting days and declaring his love for Florida panthers. The latest Quinnipiac University poll, released early Wednesday, ... More >>

Five Florida Politicians Who Hate Women: Happy International Women's Day!

Today is National Women's Day! Yes, it's the one day of the year we allow the dames to come out of the kitchen or put the baby down so we can recognize them for all the lady things they do. We love you, ladies. You're real swell. But because it's enough already with asking to be paid the same sala ... More >>

Rick Scott Has His Drug Test Appeal Shot Down by Federal Court

The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that a lower court's decision to halt the enforcement of Rick Scott's law that forced welfare recipients to take drug tests was good. Back in May 2011, Scott signed into law a bill requiring that Florida's TANF welfare recipients ... More >>

Rick Scott Dancing Nightmare Fuel

Rick Scott stopped into an elementary school music class last week and then proceeded to dance a creepy jig as the students played their instruments. You can watch the video here. But we figured the above gif was a more appropriate way to properly ruin your President's Day nap. follow Chris Joseph ... More >>

Rick Scott Congratulating You On Your Newborn Baby Is Not Creepy In The Least

Having a baby is many things: wonderful, scary, exuberant, life-affirming, and life-changing. Rick Scott wants to add "creepy as shit" to that list. Governor Voldemort has teamed up with Hallmark and several local hospitals to send cards to new moms with greetings, congratulations, and immuniz ... More >>

Dan Marino, Rick Scott, and Donald Trump Perform a Dramatic Reading of New Times' Biogensis Story

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., charting where all those 18 shell casings fell on Las Olas, then comparing with a map of the zodiac).

Rick Scott Admits He Got Rid of His Dog Reagan After Winning the Election

Yesterday the internet nearly broke in half when an exhaustive Tampa Bay Times investigation revealed that Rick Scott dumped his dog Reagan after publicly adopting him during his election campaign in 2010. At the time, Scott paraded the fact that he had adopted the dog and even had a name-the-dog c ... More >>

State CFO Jeff Atwater Courts Glenn Beck Fans, Rick Scott

It was not as thrilling as, perhaps, the sight of Dick Cheney on trial for war crimes, but Wednesday's meeting of the South Florida chapter of weepoid conspiracy monger Glenn Beck's 9-12 movement was quite the satisfying experience. This is particularly true because it comes under the looming shadow ... More >>

Rick Scott Is Knowingly Using Bad Math to Avoid Implementing Obamacare

Remember when Rick Scott began to soften his stance against Obamacare and said there should be a conversation about it? Yea, scratch that. Scott did the math and well, the numbers just don't add up. So. No Obamacare for you, Florida! Oh. Sure. He still walks around like he's all hey I'd be totall ... More >>

Rick Scott's 2012? Surprisingly Awesome. Why He Deserves a Little Credit

Several weeks ago, we made a terrible mistake, one that warranted immediate regret. We asked to start receiving Gov. Rick Scott's news releases. And then came a deluge of good news. If we hadn't known any better, we would have thought Rick Scott was doing something, well, not evil. Which brought ... More >>

Rick Scott's Approval Ratings Are "Just Plain Awful"

It's official. Everyone pretty much thinks Rick Scott is crappy at his job. That, according to a new Quinnipiac poll that has a large number of people saying Governor Voldemort doesn't deserve a second term. (And that number includes GOPers!) Rick Scott has feverishly been trying to make people f ... More >>

Rick Scott Is Changing His Mind About Things, Part II: More Early Voting Days

At first Rick Scott was all, NO EXTRA EARLY VOTING DAYS FOR OUR STATE, EVAR! And then everyone started to hate him and think he's awful because they realized he's a beady-eyed pustule with dumb GOPer agendas and an affinity to eat people's souls (allegedly!). But now, all of a sudden as if by magi ... More >>

Rick Scott Impeachment Petition Lands on White House Web Site

Politicians have to be All-Pro when it comes to shouldering hits from the sideline about job performance and bungled expectations. But it's still got to be a little bit embarrassing when the electorate decides to trash your term in office on the White House's front steps, electronically speaking.&nb ... More >>

Rick Scott: State Workers to Get Christmas Eve Off

Apparently nobody trolls Rick Scott quite like... Rick Scott.After the governor insisted he would reject any and all of Obama's health-care laws that come his way, he then turned around and changed his mind. Then, after suppressing the vote in November before the elections, he vowed that voting pro ... More >>

Rick Scott: ADT Will Bring 120 New Jobs to Boca Raton

Rick Scott announced today that home and business security company, ADT, will be bringing 120 new jobs over the next two years in Boca Raton. Last month, Palm Beach County commissioners approved $184,000 in incentives to ADT. These new jobs will add to the nearly 700 ADT employees already based i ... More >>

Rick Scott Is Changing His Mind About Things, Part I: Health Care Overhaul

At first Rick Scott was all, NO HEALTH CARE FOR OUR STATE, EVAR! And then everyone started to hate him because they realized he's a beady-eyed pustule with dumb GOPer agendas and an affinity to eat people's souls (allegedly!). But now, all of a sudden as if by magic and wonderment, Scott is changi ... More >>

Rick Scott Will Still Opt Out of Healthcare, Despite What Voters Said

On Tuesday, Floridians went to the polls and voted against the state GOPer Legislature instilled amendment that would have banned government mandated health insurance requirements. Basically, had the amendment passed, it would have exempt Floridians from the Affordable Care Act. But it failed to p ... More >>

I'm Embarrassed: Florida Still Up in the Air; Rick Scott Is to Blame

It's almost 8 in the morning the day after the election and Florida still doesn't have a winner in the presidential election. People were still voting around 2 o'clock this morning. Is anyone else embarrassed?I hope Gov. Rick Scott is. And I hope he -- and his Republican majorities in the state Legi ... More >>

Rick Scott Denies Request to Extend Early Voting by One Day

During the 2008 elections, early voting lines went long. So then-Gov. Charlie Christ extended early voting, allowing more people the chance to vote. That was pretty much when the Republicans started to hate him because a lot of them blamed Obama winning Florida on that move. Because everyone being a ... More >>

Rick Scott Doesn't Believe Mitt Romney Is Up By Seven in Florida

Maybe it's because he's trying to temper expectations. Or, maybe it's because he doesn't want Republicans to get complacent and stop working. Or, maybe it's because he's naturally dickish and can't help himself. But Gov. Rick Scott doesn't believe the latest polls that say Mitt Romney is up by s ... More >>

Rick Scott Gave Out an Adult Phone Line Instead of Meningitis Hotline

This might be the most Rick Scott thing ever. During a meeting of the Florida Cabinet on Tuesday, Scott stepped up to give an update on the fungal meningitis outbreak the state has recently been dealing with. But Scott screwed up and gave out the wrong number for the meningitis hotline, which was ... More >>

Rick Scott Wants Your Money to Continue His Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade

Rick Scott, who got back on the voter-purge horse last week in order to weed out the hundreds of thousands 198 people who would totally compromise elections, is now asking for donations to help his cause. See also: Rick Scott Continues Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade In a letter signed by Scott, Gov. McC ... More >>

Rick Scott Continues Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade

Rick Scott is back on the voter-purge horse because Rick Scott is a voter fraud crusader! *Trumpet blast* On Wednesday, state officials sent local elections supervisors a list of 198 people on the voter rolls who are supposedly noncitizens. The state said about 38 of those registered voters had c ... More >>

Alex Sink Would Defeat Rick Scott in 2014, According to Poll

If scientists could harness the power of a black hole and build a time machine, we could use it to go back in time to kill Hitler and cure AIDS while going forward in time and seeing who wins the next 40 World Series while also living in a Rick Scott-free world. But for now, we have a poll cond ... More >>

Rick Scott Gets Prickly With Reporter At Unemployment Questions

As we've recently pointed out, Rick Scott's been going around bragging about how unemployment numbers have gone down while he's been in office. Of course, what he hasn't mentioned is that the numbers are deceiving since the reason they are down is because people have flat out given up looking f ... More >>

Rick Scott Is Lying About FCAT, Unemployment Numbers, According to PolitiFact Florida

A few weeks ago, we wrote about Rick Scott's suddenly realizing that the FCAT was bad (mostly because his approval numbers were taking a bit of a tumble). Governor McCreepypants released an ad that said he was listening to parents and teachers and that, as a result of all that listening, they were ... More >>

GOP, Here's Your Man: Josef Sever, Florida's Lonely Fraudulent Voter

See also: Voter purge havoc, good luck voting in FloridaRemember all those pesky voter-ID laws that state officials have been trying to enact? The embattled plan of Gov. Rick Scott to go through voter rolls with a fine-toothed chainsaw and excise anyone named Manuel Lopez*? All that was done in the ... More >>

Rick Scott's Unemployment Compensation Laws Aren't Working

Of course Florida is the hardest place to get unemployment benefits. Because that's how we roll!The U.S. Labor Department is investigating complaints from unemployed Floridians that Rick Scott and the Florida Legislature's labyrinthine gauntlet to receive unemployment compensation is one giant compl ... More >>

Rick Scott Is Suddenly Not Too Hot On The Whole FCAT Thing

Governor Rick Scott released a video earlier this week saying that he will work to make changes to Florida's FCAT testing system. "No more teaching to the test," he says in the video with that subtle-creepy demeanor of his. "It's time we get a better measure of our children's progress." He doesn't ... More >>

Huffington Post Now Doing Public Relations for Rick Scott

A weird story out of Tampa Bay -- according to WTVT, "Governor Rick Scott has agreed to write blogs for the Huffington Post." Yes, it appears HuffPo will just be publishing the governor's press releases verbatim:As Romney is turning up the heat on President Obama by stressing Florida's problems, pro ... More >>

Rick Scott's "Transparency:" Release All Email... From an Obscure, Unknown Account

Twitter recently suspended the account of Independent reporter Guy Adams, who had been writing tweets critical of Twitter partner NBC's coverage of the Olympics. The reason they gave? In one of the rants, he gave the corporate email address of an NBC executive. Twitter said they booted him for shari ... More >>

RNC Chair Reince Priebus, on Rick Scott Speaking at Convention: "Er, Uh, You Know, Hmmm"

Well, this is awkward. Gov. Rick Scott's state is playing host to the Republican National Convention in Tampa next month, and nobody can say whether they're going to let the guy speak at it.When RNC Chair Reince Priebus was asked about Scott and Sen. Marco Rubio's roles in the convention, he respond ... More >>

Mitt Romney Asks Rick Scott to Stop Bragging About How Great Things Are Going

Mitt Romney wants people to think everything stinks and the world is falling apart. But Gov. Rick Scott, with all his talk about Florida improving, is getting in the way.According to a story from Bloomberg today, "Scott, a Republican, was asked to say that the state's jobless rate could improve fast ... More >>

How Rick Scott Can Get Away With Raking In Millions in Unlimited Contributions

Gov. Rick Scott spent $73 million of his own money in the 2010 governor's race. When asked in April if he'd be cutting more checks for reelection in 2014, he responded, simply, "I won't have to... I don't know what it will cost, but we'll have the money to win."And if the donations to his "Let's Get ... More >>