Rick Scott

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2013

    New Florida Law Will Speed Up Death Row Executions; Will Rick Scott Sign Bill?

    A defining moment of Rick Scott's political career is at hand, in a form no one would have predicted. New legislation concerning the death penalty is on its way to his desk. If he signs it, the Sunshine State may embark on an official killing spree. Florida has long stood out among the 50 states in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2013

    Drone-Banning Bill Passes Florida Senate Unanimously

    Good news, everyone! It looks like it's going to be a little harder for the government to vaporize you with a drone, thanks to a 39-0 vote by the Florida Senate for SB 92. Sponsored by Sen. Joe Negron, who is the chamber's appropriations chair, the bill will keep local law enforcement officials fro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2013

    Internet Cafés Are Officially Banned in Florida

    Gov. Rick Scott officially made internet cafés go kaput Wednesday afternoon, when he signed legislation that bans up to 1,000 internet gaming storefronts across the state. See also: -Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Has Resigned The new law is in large part thanks to Allied Veterans, an intern ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 9, 2013

    Rick Scott and Rick Perry Brought Their Comedy Show to Palm Beach

    Florida Gov. Rick Scott and Texas Gov. Rick Perry brought their zany comedy-duo routine to the Palm Beach Strategic Forum at the Palm Beach County Convention Center on Monday when they both took the stage at the same time. It was like Lex Luthor and Montogmery Burns together in one room! The Ricks s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 22, 2013

    Rick Scott Asks Court To Please Let Him Drug Test State Workers

    Rick Scott really, really, still very much wants people to pee into a cup randomly if he's going to give them financial help or let government workers keep getting a paycheck. Last month, the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that an earlier ruling by a lower court to stop ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2013

    Huffington Post Totally Clueless About Rick Scott

    We get a lot of e-mails from Rick Scott. Like a lot. He never forgets his friendly neighborhood media, and he's always appointing someone to some bureaucracy somewhere. But two days ago, he hit us with this Huffington Post article that made everyone go, "Wuuuuuuhhhh"?? The article concerns how swe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2013

    Rick Scott Would Lose to Charlie Crist by 16 Points, According to Latest Poll

    Rick Scott continues to be unliked by many amounts of people, despite the fact that he's changed his mind about things like Medicaid expansion and despite adding more early voting days and declaring his love for Florida panthers. The latest Quinnipiac University poll, released early Wednesday, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2013

    Five Florida Politicians Who Hate Women: Happy International Women's Day!

    Today is National Women's Day! Yes, it's the one day of the year we allow the dames to come out of the kitchen or put the baby down so we can recognize them for all the lady things they do. We love you, ladies. You're real swell. But because it's enough already with asking to be paid the same sala ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 26, 2013

    Rick Scott Has His Drug Test Appeal Shot Down by Federal Court

    The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that a lower court's decision to halt the enforcement of Rick Scott's law that forced welfare recipients to take drug tests was good. Back in May 2011, Scott signed into law a bill requiring that Florida's TANF welfare recipients ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 18, 2013

    Rick Scott Dancing Nightmare Fuel

    Rick Scott stopped into an elementary school music class last week and then proceeded to dance a creepy jig as the students played their instruments. You can watch the video here. But we figured the above gif was a more appropriate way to properly ruin your President's Day nap. follow Chris Joseph ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2013

    Rick Scott Congratulating You On Your Newborn Baby Is Not Creepy In The Least

    Having a baby is many things: wonderful, scary, exuberant, life-affirming, and life-changing. Rick Scott wants to add "creepy as shit" to that list. Governor Voldemort has teamed up with Hallmark and several local hospitals to send cards to new moms with greetings, congratulations, and immuniz ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Dan Marino, Rick Scott, and Donald Trump Perform a Dramatic Reading of New Times' Biogensis Story

    The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., charting where all those 18 shell casings fell on Las Olas, then comparing with a map of the zodiac).

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2013

    Rick Scott Admits He Got Rid of His Dog Reagan After Winning the Election

    Yesterday the internet nearly broke in half when an exhaustive Tampa Bay Times investigation revealed that Rick Scott dumped his dog Reagan after publicly adopting him during his election campaign in 2010. At the time, Scott paraded the fact that he had adopted the dog and even had a name-the-dog c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2013

    State CFO Jeff Atwater Courts Glenn Beck Fans, Rick Scott

    It was not as thrilling as, perhaps, the sight of Dick Cheney on trial for war crimes, but Wednesday's meeting of the South Florida chapter of weepoid conspiracy monger Glenn Beck's 9-12 movement was quite the satisfying experience. This is particularly true because it comes under the looming shadow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2013

    Rick Scott Is Knowingly Using Bad Math to Avoid Implementing Obamacare

    Remember when Rick Scott began to soften his stance against Obamacare and said there should be a conversation about it? Yea, scratch that. Scott did the math and well, the numbers just don't add up. So. No Obamacare for you, Florida! Oh. Sure. He still walks around like he's all hey I'd be totall ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2013

    Rick Scott's 2012? Surprisingly Awesome. Why He Deserves a Little Credit

    Several weeks ago, we made a terrible mistake, one that warranted immediate regret. We asked to start receiving Gov. Rick Scott's news releases. And then came a deluge of good news. If we hadn't known any better, we would have thought Rick Scott was doing something, well, not evil. Which brought ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 20, 2012

    Rick Scott's Approval Ratings Are "Just Plain Awful"

    It's official. Everyone pretty much thinks Rick Scott is crappy at his job. That, according to a new Quinnipiac poll that has a large number of people saying Governor Voldemort doesn't deserve a second term. (And that number includes GOPers!) Rick Scott has feverishly been trying to make people f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2012

    Rick Scott Is Changing His Mind About Things, Part II: More Early Voting Days

    At first Rick Scott was all, NO EXTRA EARLY VOTING DAYS FOR OUR STATE, EVAR! And then everyone started to hate him and think he's awful because they realized he's a beady-eyed pustule with dumb GOPer agendas and an affinity to eat people's souls (allegedly!). But now, all of a sudden as if by magi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2012

    Rick Scott Impeachment Petition Lands on White House Web Site

    Politicians have to be All-Pro when it comes to shouldering hits from the sideline about job performance and bungled expectations. But it's still got to be a little bit embarrassing when the electorate decides to trash your term in office on the White House's front steps, electronically speaking.&nb ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2012

    Rick Scott: State Workers to Get Christmas Eve Off

    Apparently nobody trolls Rick Scott quite like... Rick Scott.After the governor insisted he would reject any and all of Obama's health-care laws that come his way, he then turned around and changed his mind. Then, after suppressing the vote in November before the elections, he vowed that voting pro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2012

    Rick Scott: ADT Will Bring 120 New Jobs to Boca Raton

    Rick Scott announced today that home and business security company, ADT, will be bringing 120 new jobs over the next two years in Boca Raton. Last month, Palm Beach County commissioners approved $184,000 in incentives to ADT. These new jobs will add to the nearly 700 ADT employees already based i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2012

    Rick Scott Is Changing His Mind About Things, Part I: Health Care Overhaul

    At first Rick Scott was all, NO HEALTH CARE FOR OUR STATE, EVAR! And then everyone started to hate him because they realized he's a beady-eyed pustule with dumb GOPer agendas and an affinity to eat people's souls (allegedly!). But now, all of a sudden as if by magic and wonderment, Scott is changi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2012

    Rick Scott Will Still Opt Out of Healthcare, Despite What Voters Said

    On Tuesday, Floridians went to the polls and voted against the state GOPer Legislature instilled amendment that would have banned government mandated health insurance requirements. Basically, had the amendment passed, it would have exempt Floridians from the Affordable Care Act. But it failed to p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2012

    I'm Embarrassed: Florida Still Up in the Air; Rick Scott Is to Blame

    It's almost 8 in the morning the day after the election and Florida still doesn't have a winner in the presidential election. People were still voting around 2 o'clock this morning. Is anyone else embarrassed?I hope Gov. Rick Scott is. And I hope he -- and his Republican majorities in the state Legi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2012

    Rick Scott Denies Request to Extend Early Voting by One Day

    During the 2008 elections, early voting lines went long. So then-Gov. Charlie Christ extended early voting, allowing more people the chance to vote. That was pretty much when the Republicans started to hate him because a lot of them blamed Obama winning Florida on that move. Because everyone being a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2012

    Rick Scott Doesn't Believe Mitt Romney Is Up By Seven in Florida

    Maybe it's because he's trying to temper expectations. Or, maybe it's because he doesn't want Republicans to get complacent and stop working. Or, maybe it's because he's naturally dickish and can't help himself. But Gov. Rick Scott doesn't believe the latest polls that say Mitt Romney is up by s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2012

    Rick Scott Gave Out an Adult Phone Line Instead of Meningitis Hotline

    This might be the most Rick Scott thing ever. During a meeting of the Florida Cabinet on Tuesday, Scott stepped up to give an update on the fungal meningitis outbreak the state has recently been dealing with. But Scott screwed up and gave out the wrong number for the meningitis hotline, which was ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2012

    Rick Scott Wants Your Money to Continue His Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade

    Rick Scott, who got back on the voter-purge horse last week in order to weed out the hundreds of thousands 198 people who would totally compromise elections, is now asking for donations to help his cause. See also: Rick Scott Continues Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade In a letter signed by Scott, Gov. McC ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2012

    Rick Scott Continues Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade

    Rick Scott is back on the voter-purge horse because Rick Scott is a voter fraud crusader! *Trumpet blast* On Wednesday, state officials sent local elections supervisors a list of 198 people on the voter rolls who are supposedly noncitizens. The state said about 38 of those registered voters had c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2012

    Alex Sink Would Defeat Rick Scott in 2014, According to Poll

    If scientists could harness the power of a black hole and build a time machine, we could use it to go back in time to kill Hitler and cure AIDS while going forward in time and seeing who wins the next 40 World Series while also living in a Rick Scott-free world. But for now, we have a poll cond ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2012

    Rick Scott Gets Prickly With Reporter At Unemployment Questions

    As we've recently pointed out, Rick Scott's been going around bragging about how unemployment numbers have gone down while he's been in office. Of course, what he hasn't mentioned is that the numbers are deceiving since the reason they are down is because people have flat out given up looking f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2012

    Rick Scott Is Lying About FCAT, Unemployment Numbers, According to PolitiFact Florida

    A few weeks ago, we wrote about Rick Scott's suddenly realizing that the FCAT was bad (mostly because his approval numbers were taking a bit of a tumble). Governor McCreepypants released an ad that said he was listening to parents and teachers and that, as a result of all that listening, they were ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 31, 2012

    GOP, Here's Your Man: Josef Sever, Florida's Lonely Fraudulent Voter

    See also: Voter purge havoc, good luck voting in FloridaRemember all those pesky voter-ID laws that state officials have been trying to enact? The embattled plan of Gov. Rick Scott to go through voter rolls with a fine-toothed chainsaw and excise anyone named Manuel Lopez*? All that was done in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 23, 2012

    Rick Scott's Unemployment Compensation Laws Aren't Working

    Of course Florida is the hardest place to get unemployment benefits. Because that's how we roll!The U.S. Labor Department is investigating complaints from unemployed Floridians that Rick Scott and the Florida Legislature's labyrinthine gauntlet to receive unemployment compensation is one giant compl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2012

    Rick Scott Is Suddenly Not Too Hot On The Whole FCAT Thing

    Governor Rick Scott released a video earlier this week saying that he will work to make changes to Florida's FCAT testing system. "No more teaching to the test," he says in the video with that subtle-creepy demeanor of his. "It's time we get a better measure of our children's progress." He doesn't ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2012

    Huffington Post Now Doing Public Relations for Rick Scott

    A weird story out of Tampa Bay -- according to WTVT, "Governor Rick Scott has agreed to write blogs for the Huffington Post." Yes, it appears HuffPo will just be publishing the governor's press releases verbatim:As Romney is turning up the heat on President Obama by stressing Florida's problems, pro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 31, 2012

    Rick Scott's "Transparency:" Release All Email... From an Obscure, Unknown Account

    Twitter recently suspended the account of Independent reporter Guy Adams, who had been writing tweets critical of Twitter partner NBC's coverage of the Olympics. The reason they gave? In one of the rants, he gave the corporate email address of an NBC executive. Twitter said they booted him for shari ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2012

    RNC Chair Reince Priebus, on Rick Scott Speaking at Convention: "Er, Uh, You Know, Hmmm"

    Well, this is awkward. Gov. Rick Scott's state is playing host to the Republican National Convention in Tampa next month, and nobody can say whether they're going to let the guy speak at it.When RNC Chair Reince Priebus was asked about Scott and Sen. Marco Rubio's roles in the convention, he respond ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2012

    Mitt Romney Asks Rick Scott to Stop Bragging About How Great Things Are Going

    Mitt Romney wants people to think everything stinks and the world is falling apart. But Gov. Rick Scott, with all his talk about Florida improving, is getting in the way.According to a story from Bloomberg today, "Scott, a Republican, was asked to say that the state's jobless rate could improve fast ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2012

    How Rick Scott Can Get Away With Raking In Millions in Unlimited Contributions

    Gov. Rick Scott spent $73 million of his own money in the 2010 governor's race. When asked in April if he'd be cutting more checks for reelection in 2014, he responded, simply, "I won't have to... I don't know what it will cost, but we'll have the money to win."And if the donations to his "Let's Get ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2012

    Florida's Anti-Cuban Trade Law Is an Insult to Capitalism

    Odebrecht, the giant Brazilian company that has a $225 million contract to help build the new runway at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, is suing the state over a histrionic law that Rick Scott signed last month in Miami, banning state and local governments from doing major business ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Solantic Walk-In Urgent Care Getting New Name

    Gov. Rick Scott's Solantic Walk-In Urgent Care is no longer Rick Scott's... or Solantic Walk-In Urgent Care.Scott founded the chain of health care clinics in 2001, and sold it in 2011 amid cries of conflicting interests. The company announced yesterday that it will be changing its name to CareS ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 23, 2012

    FEC Train Operator Plans New Privatized Rail Service Between South Florida and Orlando

    ​It is, of course, essential Rick Scott lore that our budget-cutting governor nixed a federally funded high-speed rail project because it used too much taxpayer money. As little sense as that move made, the governor has always been clear that he favors private enterprise over the government provid ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2012

    Five Ways the PIP "Reform" Bill Fails to Help Consumers

    ​Gov. Rick Scott was so eager to pass a car  insurance reform bill last week that he sent personal thank-you notes to the lawmakers who supported it. The personal injury protection (PIP) insurance bill was a cornerstone of his legislative agenda. "This is a bill that delivers on my promise to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2012

    State of the Union Address: Rick Scott Has an Opinion

    ​Gov. Rick Scott would like to add himself to the endless list of people with an opinion about President Obama's State of the Union Address last night, so here we go.Here's the short version of the governor's opinion: Businesses don't want to come to America. Except Florida. Florida's cool. And he ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    Rick Scott's Approval Rating Is Great! (According to Lobbyists and PR Firms)

    ​If you ask Floridians if they approve of Gov. Rick Scott's job performance, between 26 and 38 percent would say yes.In the last week, though, two "polls" have been released that claim the governor's approval rating is much, much higher.According to a public relations/communications firm hired by ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2012

    The Charter Schools Agenda in Tallahassee

    ​Last year, the extensive ties between charter school advocates and Florida state politicians proved fruitful. New laws expanded "high-performing" charter schools and created virtual charter schools. Gov. Rick Scott named charter advocates to his education transition team and gave speeches at vari ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2012

    Floridians Now Slightly More Likely to Approve of Governor Than Believe in Haunted Houses

    For the first time ever, more people approve of Gov. Rick Scott's job performance than believe that houses can be haunted by ghosts.Scott scored his highest approval rating ever in a Quinnipiac University poll released this morning, with 38 percent of folks thinking he's doing an OK job.According to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2011

    Rick Scott's Trip to Israel: Most Readers Didn't Buy the "Trade Mission" Title

    Avi HayunGov. Rick Scott givin' the eyes to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.​According to the results from our highly unscientific reader poll yesterday, nearly 44 percent of our readers thought Gov. Rick Scott's "Israeli trade mission" was more of a political vacation.Nearly 37 perc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2011

    Rick Scott's Trip to Israel: "Trade Mission" or Political Vacation?

    flgov.comGov. Rick Scott, with gentlemen who may or may not be job creators.​Going through the list of Florida's top 50 trading partners -- compiled by Enterprise Florida -- you may notice Israel sure isn't on the list.Apparently, Florida engages in more trade activity with countries like Guya ... More >>

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