Ryan Pfeffer

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2014

    IKEA vs. Apple Store: Which Is the More Hellish Shopping Experience?

    If you combined The Purge with Jingle All the Way, you'd not only have a very dead Sinbad -- let's face it, he'd be the first to go -- you'd have Black Friday. And as thousands of bloated Americans finish their last slice of pumpkin pie with a sticky fork, thousands more will be finishing the elde ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2014

    A Final Interview With David Menasche, Beloved Teacher and Author

    Ever since 2006, life for David Menasche must have felt like he sneaked unnoticed into some VIP section, knowing that any moment some malevolent security guard could emerge, point a meaty finger his way, and toss him out. "I really don't ask anymore what their prognosis is for survival," Menasche ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2014

    Ten Things You Say That Make You a Fort Lauderdalian

    You can tell a lot about a city by the way its residents speak. The ever-colorful Bostonians might ask you to pahk the cah. A sassy New Yorker will tell you to fuggedaboutit! And a masked Detroiter may say something along the lines of, "Empty your pockets!" South Florida is no different. Down at th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2014

    The Bimini SuperFast Starts Day Cruises to Bimini From Port Everglades

    It's 5:33 p.m. Bimini is at our backs now as dozens shuffle aboard the boat which brought us the roughly 50 miles that separates Florida's coast from the tiny island. We're about to make our way back to Port Everglades. Before we're allowed back on the ship, we have to put on shirts and have our f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    The Diary of Rick Scott's Hair

    1970, Kansas City, Missouri Dear Diary, Annette said yes! I have to admit, when Rick decided to ask her to prom via messenger pigeon, I was worried. Especially when the pigeon flew into a power line and burst into flame, landing at her feet a charred pile of feathers atop a burnt note that said ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 3, 2014

    The Six Worst Places in Broward

    Broward County is a wonderful place. Let's just start out by saying that. Beautiful beaches, amazing cuisine -- there's a reason tourism is a big business here. People want to come to Broward. Yay, Broward! You go Broward! Okay, have we built Broward up enough yet? Good. Let's knock it down.

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2014

    Six Best Mother's Day Gifts From The Swap Shop

    Let's do a little creative visualization: You are the first mother in the history of the human race. One day, something starts growing inside your uterus, kicking and leaching nutrients for nine months before choosing one of the smallest holes on your body to emerge from. After unimaginable pain, yo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2014

    Tea Party of Fort Lauderdale to Protest Charlie Crist's Broward Office Opening

    The Fort Lauderdale chapter of the Tea Party is planning to protest Charlie Crist's new Broward field office, which is opening this weekend. On Monday, it was announced that the Crist field office at 320 S. University Drive in Plantation will have its opening at 12:30 p.m. Saturday. The office is t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 18, 2014

    Broward's Best (Worst) Local Commercials

    Commercials can be frustrating. A giant corporation spends millions of dollars to take up 30 seconds of your life and, more often than not, leaves you saying this is the best we can do. I mean, I'm a peaceful person, but if I ever see the Geico lizard walking down the street, I will kick him like a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2014

    One Man, Two Ridiculous Fake Profiles, and Three Online Dating Sites: Can You Get a Valentine's Date Online?

    It seems everything these days is in danger of being rendered useless by the internet. The mighty blue Blockbuster fell to Netflix. Bookstores were chewed up and spit out by Amazon. And now the U.S. Postal Service's only job is to make sure Chris Christie never runs out of Oreos. It makes sense th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2014

    Six People Not To Invite to Your Super Bowl Party

    The big game is almost here, and so are all those annoying people you invited to your party out of cordiality. If you're smart, you've procrastinated sending out those invitations as long as possible. And your procrastination has paid off, because I'm going to help you weed all the duds out of your ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2014

    Seven Things Every FSU Fan Will Do Tonight

    Today is a very special day for FSU fans. No, Tim Tebow still won't eat those poison apples we keep sending him, but tonight the Seminoles face Auburn for the national title. And if you couldn't tell by the way we reacted to Jameis Winston's trial, nothing is more important to us than football. I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2014

    Fort Lauderdale Is the Best City in Broward, and Here's Why

    Every city is like a fingerprint, unique and special in its own way. But few places are as special as Fort Lauderdale. If it were a finger, it would be a big fat middle one, poking out a half-open car window in the direction of an elderly man who's going 15 miles per hour in the left lane. But, hey ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2013

    Seven New Year's Resolutions for Florida

    2014 is right around the corner, and with every new year comes the familiar ritual of broken promises known as "New Year's Resolutions." Sure, by January 3rd, we're usually back to eating chocolate and smoking cigarettes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. And if there's one state in this grea ... More >>