Ah Florida. We have criminals, just like every other state. But we have our own special kind of criminal. Namely, dumb ones. And, because we're never in short supply of dumb criminals, we present to you our latest series of the dumbest Florida criminals of the month. September was special for du ... More >>
Some people believe that having the last word in an argument is how you determined who won. Others believe that whipping out your penis and shaking it at the person you're arguing with is how you determine that. And by "others," we mean John Solomayar of Fort Pierce, who was arrested for allegedly ... More >>
A Miami Dolphins fan was arrested after he did what every Miami Dolphins fan dreams of but hardly ever actually acts on -- he beat the shit out of a Jets fan with a PVC pipe. And before you judge the Fins fan, keep in mind that Jets fans are notorious for being obnoxious and insufferably arrogant a ... More >>
When a Florida man was stopped and searched by cops, he tried to conceal the crack pipe he was carrying. Since cops tend to look in pockets and hats and shoes and pants, the man hid the pipe in the one place they wouldn't be able to spot during a patdown: He swallowed it. When he was taken to a ... More >>
Well, better start stockpiling cans of OFF! The Florida Department of Health has confirmed three cases of dengue fever contracted in Florida. Dengue fever, which rarely ever hits the U.S., is an infectious disease transmitted by mosquitoes that causes fever, headache, muscle pain and a measles-like ... More >>
A Florida man walked into his home and found his female roommate hanging out in the kitchen. The man didn't like seeing some dude hanging out with her, so he decided to wrestle the dude. And, in the ensuing scuffle, the man bit off a chunk of the dude's ear. But, no worries. The dude's gnarled ea ... More >>
In what's becoming a sad trend, two pygmy sperm whales have beached themselves on Jupiter Island. The Florida Wildlife Conservation Commission has been called in, and it appears the two whales are a mother and her calf. The animals reportedly came ashore Tuesday morning at 251 S. Beach Road.
We sure do love us some GOP self-destruction. And according to local right-wing website Bizpac Review, Palm Beach's Republican Party is tearing at its own innards like a frenzied jackal, "cash-strapped and crippled by poor fundraising efforts," key leaders unhappy with Chairman Ira Sabin's orders to ... More >>
A Texas-based Tea Party organization and the St. Lucie County Supervisor of Elections have agreed on a plan to provide the group access to county voting records from the 2012 federal election and voter registration and other records going back to 2009. See also: - Allen West Will Soon Be an Ex-Con ... More >>
And now for your bimonthly dose of bummer whale news: On Sunday, a whale and her calf had beached themselves at Jensen Beach, just north of Waveland Beach in St. Lucie County. Beachgoers spotted the whales in the water shortly before they beached themselves. The pair were identified as pygmy sper ... More >>
The people united will often be defeated, sad to say. But labor union members yesterday took some measure of satisfaction from Palm Beach County commissioners' response to workers' complaints about unfair treatment by Kellogg Brown and Root, the many-tentacled global corporate octopus formerly helme ... More >>
True the Vote, a nonpartisan, nonprofit grassroots organization whose mission seems to be to keep election integrity, is suing the St. Lucie County and Florida Supervisor of Elections after they supposedly botched the Allen West-Patrick Murphy recount back in November. Specifically, the group is lo ... More >>
With Allen West refusing to yield to losing an election and Florida sending officials down to St. Lucie County to investigate the situation, it looks like we're all in for the long haul on this whole "West Refuses to Concede" thing. Newly elected Congressman Patrick Murphy knows this all too well. ... More >>
Veteran's Day honored confessed torturer Allen West by seeing the courts closed, allowing the disgraced former officer and his attorneys a day off from further embarrassing themselves. The legal maneuvers they've employed in lawsuits against local elections officials to stave off defeat in last ... More >>
A partial recount of ballots from St. Lucie County happened on Sunday and -- news flash -- Allen West is still losing. The recount narrowed Patrick Murphy's lead somewhat, but the tally still isn't enough to trigger an official all-out recount. On Friday, West's motion to impound the ballots and v ... More >>
Those vote tabulating machines are COMMUNISTS! As we predicted earlier today, Allen West is not going quietly. Even though the polls are closed, the ballots are counted, and the margin of victory for Patrick Murphy is outside any legal reason to require a recount, Allen West is demanding a rec ... More >>
Last week we told you about Allen West's assertion that federal student loans are communist, something found "in a book written by Marx or Engels called The Communist Manifesto." He said in a video posted June 14 that "it's called the state control of education."Well, two days after that video was p ... More >>
Police say 21-year-old Nicole Okrzesik was arrested Thursday and charged with first-degree murder in the strangulation of 19-year-old Juliana Mensch in late March.Police say Okrzesik and James Ayers, her boyfriend, killed Mensch after getting high with her so they could rob her and use the money for ... More >>
If you ever need to find 50-year-old Joseph Wilson, check the jails first -- he's actually in the St. Lucie County jail right now, marking his 100th trip to the slammer.According to the Port St. Lucie Police Department, a security guard from a Bealls department store called the cops Thursday sayi ... More >>
Two weeks ago, Quiana Nixon's nine-year-old was strangely silent upon his return home from Morningside Elementary School in St. Lucie County. She asked him what was wrong."My teacher slapped me," he said.Quiana didn't believe him, but then he showed her what appeared to be a handprint on his face ... More >>
Which Is the Lesser of Two Evils?One of the fiercest battles to be waged this election year will be over Amendment 4, a citizens initiative aimed at putting decisions about growth in Florida back into the hands of voters. On November 2, we'll go to the polls, and essentially send our government ... More >>
The looks like as good a weekend as any to enjoy a little bit of booze. Check out these alcohol, er... enhanced events. • The fall season is fast approaching, which means Halloween, Thanksgiving, and, more importantly, pumpkins. And the folks over at Shipyard are keen on that -- they're tossing ... More >>
Flickr User: Monte MendozaThey're coming. In swarms. From north to south. The killer bees, capable of assuming sphere shapes and terminating humans, with extreme prejudice. Yes, before they struck the Broward Correctional Institution yesterday, the little bastards wreaked havoc in St. Lucie County. ... More >>
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