Subject:

Thomas Francis

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2013

    Deerfield Beach Pastor Anthony Davis Ordered to Pay $50,000 Fine for Overbilling Federal Government

    There are plenty of passages in the Bible that tell us not to lie, but they don't say jack about fudging invoices or grant applications! On December 21, a Deerfield Beach pastor, Anthony Davis, was hit with $50,000 in civil fines for having overbilled the government. Davis' organization, Brotherly L ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 3, 2012

    Jared Chase, Brent Betterly, and Brian Church, "NATO 3," Charged with Terrorism in Chicago

    Cops Say South Florida Protesters Busted in Chicago Are Terrorists; Friends Call Bullshit Three men formerly associated with Occupy Fort Lauderdale were charged today in Chicago with 11 counts including conspiracy to commit terrorism, possession of explosives, and attempted arson. Each is being held ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2010

    Exclusive Tower Club Teases Us With Offer, Then Rescinds

    Photo by Flickr user hanneorlaThe Tower Club remains hidden atop One Financial Plaza.‚ÄčThis blog was supposed to be a food review about eating lunch at the Tower Club. The plan was to go as guests to Broward County's high-rollers club, have a two martini lunch, and file a piece on our Clean Plate C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 23, 2009

    The Caravan of Tow Trucks Speeding Down Federal Highway...

    If you were on U.S. 1 in Broward County about 2 p.m. today, chances are you saw the caravan of speeding tow trucks racing south, mixed in with a number of BSO cruisers, lights flashing, sirens blaring.There were at least 30 trucks in total and a half-dozen or so police cars. They weaved in and out o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2009

    Dog Racing Done in Wisconsin; What This Means for Florida

    Thomas Francis‚ÄčIt wasn't so long ago that Wisconsin had five dog tracks, second only to Florida in terms of total live-racing facilities. This week, the operators of the Dairyland Greyhound Park in Kenosha announced that the track will end racing on New Year's Eve. This will mark the end of greyh ... More >>

  • News

    September 17, 2009
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    August 27, 2009
  • Blogs

    July 22, 2009

    Color Bind: Are Police Looking for Johnny Cash?

    flickr.com Johnny Cash: Dressed in Black We've written about the local media's awkward refusal to mention the race of violent, uncaptured suspects in police stories a few times. (Here and here.) It's odd that a newspaper would inform its readers how violent an individual might be and menti ... More >>

  • News

    April 23, 2009
  • Blogs

    April 16, 2009

    "Beerfest"?? Leaked Emails Reveal Media Conspiracy to Intoxicate Fort Lauderdale

    >>> Thomas Francis 4/15/2009 4:36 PM >>>Hi Whittney,Let me start by saying that you're doing a terrific job as the Beerfrau of Beerfest. Not an official title, I know; but certainly more fun than "Marketing Manager." I am excited about Saturday night's soiree, and I think Juice rea ... More >>

  • News

    February 26, 2009
  • Blogs

    January 8, 2009

    Rudy Giuliani Will Be on Time for His Inauguration Jan. 20

    On the New Times newsroom's Wall o' Deviance, beneath photographs of long-gone staffers cavorting with strippers, you will find the red-white-and-blue 2008 calendar of Rudy Giuliani, which he modestly called "Countdown to Victory." The calendar warns of a slow march toward a dystopian American futur ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2009

    Weston Congresswoman Lands Promotion; Will Help Us Get More Stuff

    Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, the Weston Democrat (not to be confused with the Westin Diplomat), has been named the vice chair of the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Financial Services and General Government, which is a long way of saying she's in a better position to get us more stuf ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2009

    Alleged Bank Robber Takes "Freeze!" Order Literally

    Today we learned that Florida is exporting guns for crimes in other states, and it appears Fort Lauderdale is also exporting armed robbers for crimes in other Florida cities.Three Fort Lauderdale men are among a foursome arrested in connection with the distinctly Grinch-ian crime of knocking over a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2009

    The Cuts Keep Coming

    I've been documenting the downsizing of newspapers here for the past couple of years, so I guess it was bound to happen. My newspaper, which has largely avoided the carnage, has been cutting not just empty positions, but people. And the bloodletting has happened at several other newsp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2008

    Fort Lauderdale Mayoral Candidate Is One of Those Humans Turned On by "Sex"

    Imagine a poster like this hanging in Jim Naugle's old office.Here at New Times, we're porn-positive. (I mean, have you seen what lurks in our back pages?) In this Age of Tolerance, it's high time that a big, Democratic city like Fort Lauderdale have a candidate who's open and unashamed of his pruri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2008

    A Horror Story from a School District Other Than Broward's

    An art teacher shot herself in front of Largo Middle School last week, leaving a 4-page suicide note that lambasted the principal.Wage slaves are hurting everywhere, but it's really, really bad in the schools. For every Linda Joy Taylor, there are countless teachers dealing with their depression in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2008

    This Season's Best Christmas Tale

    So maybe pouring a bucket of cold water on the Super Bowl hopes of Miami Dolphin-dom wasn't the most sensitive holiday message. Lest I forget "the reason for the season" I offer this tale of holiday generosity. A rags to riches man from Canton, Ohio, who during the worst of the original Great Depres ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2008

    Recession-Proof Job: Lawyering for Plaxico Burress

    A wide receiver adept at catching passes in traffic isn't very good at driving a car in it. At least not according to a Tamarac woman who says the suspended New York Giant and Lighthouse Point resident Plaxico Burress rear-ended her while he was driving on the Florida Turnpike. Compared to Burress' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2008

    My Lunch With Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz

    On Wednesday I met Florida Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz at Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor on U.S. 1 in Dania Beach for a wide-ranging discussion -- including my paranoid delusions about the sinister deal-cutting that must take place when voters aren't watching.The congresswoman insists that she ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 18, 2008

    Madoff's Web Site Is A Snuff Film

    Hey everybody. I've been away (in Jupiter. No, the planet!) and now I'm trying to find out how my $50 billion investment is going. Except the web site of my broker Bernie Madoff seems to be down. Something about a court-ordered liquidation? That doesn't sound good.Ha, ha, just kidding. I have far to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2008

    May the Best Mummified Coach Win

    Now that Joe Paterno's landed a brand new three-year contract, just a few days before his 82nd birthday, the pressure's on Florida State's dad-gum head coach Bobby Bowden to get a four-year contract.The two old coots are currently running 1-2 in career victories. JoePa has 383. Bowden has 381. The U ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2008

    Local Strippers Must Do More Stripping To Afford County Fee (For Stripping)

    I realize it's tough to scrounge up money in this economy, Palm Beach County, but must you really take it out of the g-strings of our courageous strippers? Those hard-bodied girls and guys need that money to pay for college! To put food on the table for the cute little tyke whose daddy skedaddled! A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2008

    Oh, Gosh! There's One for the Hate Speech Blooper Reel

    Part of the trouble with stating one's political case via graffiti is that there's only so much wall with which to write. Then one has to use big letters so that the message can be seen at a great distance. Well, you can imagine how it's tempting to resort to symbols in lieu of words. Unfortunately, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2008

    To Answer the Questions of Deerfield Beach Residents...

    Deerfield Beach is still reeling after last week's arrests of Mayor Al Capellini and Commissioner Steve Gonot. Residents keep calling the Juice newsroom with the same questions, and we'll answer them here.1) No, tomorrow's meeting of the Deerfield Beach City Commission will not take place at Broward ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2008

    Paparazzi Unimpressed by Ambiguously Straight Gov

    Don't you feel just a little sorry for the gawkers of St. Petersburg / Tampa? They've been waiting to get their place on the celebrity map forever! But no, Anna Nicole had to croak in the that other Seminole Hard Rock hotel. Today's Charlie Crist-Carole Rome wedding was supposed to be the cities' Bi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2008

    Where's the Help Team When You Need It?

    Seriously, the Sun-Sentinel's news-you-can-use crew, so quick to report on stop signs and chuckholes and banana peels on the sidewalk, had better hustle down to Hollywood Boulevard. A Juice correspondent tells me that the Tri-Rail crossing has malfunctioned and traffic's backed up somethin' fierce. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2008

    Can This Guy Catch A Break?

    In December 2007, New York Yankees World Series hero Jim Leyritz allegedly got sloshed at his 44th birthday party, ran a red light in Fort Lauderdale, then plowed into the Mitsubishi Montero of 30-year-old Freida Ann Veitch, killing the mother of two. In December 2008 he's looking for a job as a bas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2008

    15th Second Nears for Anthony Family

    And not a moment too soon. Would someone please unlock Nancy Grace's cage and wheel her gurney in front of the television cameras?Maybe now the grandparents can retire those ridiculous "Where's Caylee?" shirts. All this time, maybe the answer was right in their backyard.Hey, Florida! How's about a f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2008

    Hey Barack: Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

    No to be contrary, but I'm not remotely bothered by the fact that the incoming president is a smoker. Or at least I'm not as concerned as Palm Beach Post columnist Rhonda Swan who today demanded that Obama "Quit Smoking, Period."This habit makes him human. The man who directed the most disciplined c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2008

    How Much Justice Was Sold in Fort Lauderdale Last Week ?

    We may never know. But eventually, maybe our friends who live in the western half of the United States will learn. Exactly 24 of their attorneys general partied up at the Ritz Carlton (formerly the St. Regis) on Fort Lauderdale Beach, flocking for a conference strewn with corporate sponsors.The orga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2008

    Local Flavor in MTV's 21st Best Real World Season Ever

    Apparently, MTV is still making Real World programs. In fact, it never stopped, even though most of us stopped watching when they closed the Real World San Francisco house because that's when Newt Gingrich moved in with the Clintons and that was more interesting. Two of the eight new cast members ar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2008

    Now That's What I Call Malfeasance!

    Every now and then, a news story will come along and remind us that South Florida did not invent the phenomenon of public corruption. In Chicago they've been doing it longer and better than anyone else. Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is the latest example for his breathtakingly audacious scheme to sh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2008

    Dunkin' Donuts: DMX Did It

    James Herard. You've just been charged with shooting up Dunkin' Donutses with your buddies and you're facing life in prison. What do you have to say for yourself?Video here. Listen closely, and you'll hear Herard barking, DMX style, at Judge John Hurley. The best part is toward the end, when Hurley ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2008

    For You Al Lamberti Quote Collectors

    Speaking about the ill-fated efforts of the Dunkin' Donuts suspects to board a ship bound for Bermuda, a trip for which they would have needed passports they didn't have and which was a stupid choice anyway because the Bahamas would have arrested and extradited them. Nudge. That's your cue, Al."They ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2008

    Toni Morrison doppelganger nabbed

    One of the ladies above is a Nobel Prize-winning novelist. The other was recently arrested in Broward County for contempt of court. Adding to the weirdness, the Browardian is named Zulma Coris, which sounds a bit like a character in a Morrison novel.-- Thomas Francis

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2008

    Well, Someone Has To Be the Junior Senator from Florida

    Senator Mel Martinez is sick of his job and he's not hanging around after 2010. So what Republican will run in his place?Outgoing Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle doesn't want the job. Someone must stay in Fort Lauderdale to keep a wary eye on South Florida gays. Jeb Bush is all, 'Whatever, if I fee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2008

    We Got the Donut Bandits!!

    No, not him. These guys. Sheriff Al, give us our money quote!"These guys weren't upset because they couldn't pay their rent or their 401K tanked," Lamberti said. "These are just cold-blooded thugs. One suspect said he just wanted to 'up' his body count."Sorry, but boy scouts who want their "cold-blo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2008

    What the World Needs Now Is Another Blog

    This blog is not a remedy for the financial crisis. It will not defeat anti-American forces in Iraq. It will not slay any Somali pirates.Rather, it will give a loving squeeze to South Florida, extracting its most delicious, satisfying news-trients. The Juice is an ambrosia that, we hope, can provide ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2008

    A Sandwich Makes The Perfect Murder Weapon

    Ever since news broke that a Port St. Lucie man beat his girlfriend with a sandwich, we've been waiting...waiting...to learn exactly what was his weapon of choice. The Port St. Lucie Police Department is not about to give such clues away. But whatever the sandwich in question was, it failed to ach ... More >>

  • News

    October 2, 2008
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    June 12, 2008
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    August 2, 2007
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    June 7, 2007
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    May 31, 2007
  • Blogs

    March 22, 2007

    Mitch Ceasar Gets (Borscht) Belted

    Funny Guy A lot of people wonder what it is Democratic Party Chairman Mitch Ceasar actually does with his time. The place is packed with donkeys and yet the local party produces poor candidates and is basically a sorry mess. Not good. Well, it turns out that Ceasar has been trying to compile mate ... More >>

  • News

    February 22, 2007
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    February 15, 2007
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    November 30, 2006
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    November 23, 2006
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