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Tim Tebow to the Dolphins! How We Trolled Twitter to Believe a Crazy Rumor

Allen West Is Outraged That Obama Wants to Remember Dead American Workers

Allen West is so mad. NAY. OUT. RAGED. at something President Barry Socialist OTrotsky did days ago that Col. West is just tweeting about his outrage today. Because it's never too late for a heaping serving of FREEDOM STEAK! Apparently, Obummer proclaimed April 28, 2013, Worker's Memorial Day, in ... More >>

New Miami Dolphins Uniforms Leaked

After weeks of speculation and Twitter leaks and rumors and hearsay, it looks like the Miami Dolphins' new logo and uniforms have finally, for real this time, been leaked. See also: -New Miami Dolphins Logo Might Have Been Leaked for Real This Time, Maybe -New Miami Dolphins Logo: The Best Twitter ... More >>

Florida Beer Fridays: 'Are Wheat There Yet?' From Tampa Bay Brew Bus

Friday's here, so it's time for beer. As a native Floridian, there's nothing quite like taking a lazy afternoon after work and either hanging out on the patio with a cold beer in hand or heading down to the pub to talk about the weeks' events. In the past, we've had to make due with imports and mac ... More >>

Four Arrested in Protest at GEO Headquarters: Activists From Transgender and Womyn's Group Block Doors UPDATED

UPDATE 10:44 a.m. Boca Raton police spokesman Mark Economou said four people were arrested at GEO Group corporate headquarters this morning. "They chained themselves to the doors of the building," he said, but "the locking mechanism has been removed." Though activists Tweeted a photo showing at leas ... More >>

Donald Trump and Michelle Malkin Are Twitter Beefin'

Ah Twitter. It's the place you go to tell your followers what you're having for lunch, how you feel about the latest episode of Walking Dead, and get into arguments with total strangers about mundane, arbitrary crap. It's also the place to see celebrities and famous people act like middle school ki ... More >>

New Miami Dolphins Logo Leaked? Maybe, but Probably No

With the Miami Heat blowing NBA faces to smithereens and the University of Miami Men's hoop team getting a number-two seed for the NCAA tournament, the Miami Dolphins are left in the wake, wallowing in their spending spree for free-agent players who probably don't deserve all the money they're getti ... More >>

Vatican Cardinals Elect Pope Francis I; Ten Best Twitter Reactions

The Vatican cardinals finally decided to agree on who the new pope is going to be and elected Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina to be the new pontiff.He will be called Pope Francis I. Francis is 76 years old and reportedly only has one lung. Because, if the last pope taught us anything, it's that ... More >>

South Florida Web Awards: Meet Your Twitter, Instagram, and Arts/Culture Nominees

To say the web bridges worlds together seamlessly through invisible streams of data would be a gross understatement. In any case, New Times is well aware of the importance of the web, and we're celebrating with our first South Florida Web Awards. We've scoured the internet in search of the best of ... More >>

Political Pumpkins for a Scary Presidential Campaign (Photos)

Now we know why the presidential elections fall around Halloween -- they can get scary. Look, it doesn't matter which candidate you're planning to vote for (or if you're still undecided) -- we think some of these political ads and last night's debate are...well...just a teeny bit frightening. W ... More >>

The Week in Crazy: Get Your Coulter, Limbaugh, Trump Fix Here

South Florida is crawling with famous crazy people. Who has time to keep up with all their yammering? Behold, the weekly roundup: -- Wellington resident Vanilla Ice plays himself in the new Adam Sandler movie That's My Boy, which opens today. As Twitter commenter @ryan_derosa noted, "Every show I wa ... More >>

Bizarre Kony 2012 Posters Seemingly Contain No Trace of Irony

Kony 2012 is a viral video that attempts to bring us together by alarming us over a common enemy (a dictator using child-warrior slaves) that absolutely nobody could object to. The fuss about the cofounder of Invisible Children, Jason Russell, who apparently went haywire a while back, has died down. ... More >>

Here Comes the Sun-Sentinel Paywall: Nonporous, 15 Free Articles a Month

As promised, the Sun-Sentinel unveiled its new paywall ("digital memberships") system yesterday, and starting right now, if you don't pay up, you're limited to 15 articles per month.One big question that's been answered is whether the paywall would be porous -- if links from social networking sites ... More >>

Broward County Killed 27 Pets a Day Last Year, Might Not Keep Doing That

The Broward County Commission passed a resolution Tuesday to pursue a strategic plan for instituting "no kill" animal shelters, which would greatly reduce the number of animals housed in the county's two shelters that are put down.Would it make that big of a difference? For the 9,672 animals Broward ... More >>

A Fat Guy Is Stealing Purses in Pompano Beach (VIDEO)

The Broward Sheriff's Office is looking for a man they say is connected to two muggings at the end of March -- they want you to know that he's six feet tall, gets around in an old, gold-colored Nissan, and is... fat.In an announcement headlined "Big Boy Wants a Purse," the BSO describes a "corpulant ... More >>

What to Expect From the Sun-Sentinel Paywall

The Sun-Sentinel announced last week that their website would soon have a shiny new feature -- a paywall, erected around the main daily paper serving Broward County.The paper will start "offering memberships" on Monday, though details have been in a letter to readers from publisher Howard Greenberg ... More >>

Dolphins Get New Nike Jerseys; They Look Just Like Old Reebok Jerseys

You may have heard all the hubbub about the NFL's new lineup of jerseys, but don't go grasping for that Modell's member card yet.NBC's Darren Rovell was tweeting all kinds of pictures from the Nike unveiling yesterday, including a picture of the Dolphins' new home jersey, which bears a striking  ... More >>

PBSO Deputy Patrick Burt Stalked His Ex With GPS, Police Say, and You Can Too

Palm Beach Sheriff's Deputy Patrick Burt was arrested Monday and accused of stalking his ex-girlfriend by putting a GPS tracker on her car and hanging up signs at her workplace that call her current beau a "home wrecker and a cheater," according to the Sun-Sentinel.Police say he was on duty in Welli ... More >>

Bank Robber Drops Cash All Over I-75, FBI Asks For It Back, Nobody Gives It Back

​The FBI announced a $5,000 reward yesterday for information leading to the arrest of a man they say robbed a Pembroke Pines Wells Fargo bank on March 29.Police say the man fled on a dark-colored sport bike with the money stuffed in a black backpack. The backpack then opened on Interstate 75 and d ... More >>

Mug-Shot Friday: A Scary Old Lady, a Drinking Buddy, and the Dad from Jurassic Park

​Welcome to this week's post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade edition.

Logan Morrison Serves as the Wild Child for the Already Loony Miami Marlins

Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis -- Who Else Did Christopher Chaney, Florida's Celebrity Hacker, Spy On?

​Earlier this week, a 35-year-old Jacksonville man, Christopher Chaney, pleaded guilty to charges that he hacked into celebrity email accounts and leaked nude photos of several of them, including Scarlett Johansson and Mila Kunis. He faces up to 60 years in prison, according to the Associated Pres ... More >>

South Florida at the Bottom of New Job Creation Rankings

​More than one in five South Florida residents said their employers were firing workers in 2011, according a Gallup poll released this morning.In a Gallup ranking of the nation's 50 largest metropolitan areas, the "Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Pompano Beach" area ranked 44th out of 50 for job creati ... More >>

Mercius Dorvilus, Pompano Beach Pirate Radio Operator, Fined $10,000

​A 31-year-old DJ who ran a Haitian, reggae, and rap station out of a room in a Pompano Beach home must pay the Federal Communications Commission $10,000 by the end of next month or face a suit from the Department of Justice, according to federal documents.FCC enforcement agents raided a home wher ... More >>

PBSO Would Really Like to Catch the Guy Robbing Burger Kings in a Barack Obama Mask

​Somewhere in Palm Beach County, there is a man with red gloves, a Barack Obama mask, a silver handgun, and a pile of money that smells like French fries.The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office sent out another news release yesterday about the string of four fast-food robberies that started in Dece ... More >>

Jose Canseco Posts Exceptionally Insane Tweets, Also Somehow Got Sponsors

​It's not a secret that Jose Canseco, South Florida's most infamous meathead slugger turned reality-show washout, has a wildly popular Twitter account -- well over 400,000 followers eagerly awaiting the next 140 characters of weird, deluded complaining about how terrible and unjust it is that some ... More >>

Miami Marlins Home Run Sculpture Video Leaks; Everyone Pukes

​Less than two weeks after we found out the Miami Marlins were testing their new aquarium backstop/aquatic nightmare tank by throwing baseballs at it, a video of their long-mocked home-run sculpture in action has made its way to YouTube -- and it looks even worse than the pictures.The thing looks ... More >>

Fort Lauderdale Considering Quintupling Red-Light Cameras: Where Does the Money Go?

​The Fort Lauderdale City Commission was receptive to a new proposal heard Tuesday about ramping up the city's red-light camera program from using six cameras to 36. While Mayor Jack Seiler said he was "not for something as massive as that," according to the Sun-Sentinel, he said he was open to ad ... More >>

FAU Student Threatens to Kill Teacher in Class; Students Respond by Filming the Whole Thing (VIDEO)

UPDATE: The student has been identified as Jonatha Carr. The University Press, FAU's student paper, has the full story.​An unnamed Florida Atlantic University student was forcibly removed from class yesterday after screaming, among other things, "I will kill the fuck out of you" in a biology ... More >>

State, Federal Agencies to Investigate Killing of Trayvon Martin

​Twenty-two days after 17-year-old Miami Gardens boy Trayvon Martin was shot and killed in Sanford, the FBI and U.S. Department of Justice announced late Monday night that they will be investigating his death at the hands of 28-year-old neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman, according to t ... More >>

Gang Activity May Be to Blame in Boynton Beach Double Homicide

​Whatever happened in the 1600 block of NE Second Court in Boynton Beach, it's all bad news.Sisters Janice Rahming, 54, and Daphne Clemons, 41, were both shot and killed Saturday night by unnamed suspects who police believe are dangerous enough that a Boynton Beach Police spokeswoman sent out an e ... More >>

Fort Lauderdale Boat Race Pits Teams Tebow's Ark, Boats n Hoes Against Each Other

​The organizers of the Red Bull Candola race have announced the final 27 28 teams, selected from "thousands of submissions," that will race in the New River next month. While "boats in Fort Lauderdale" isn't anything new, these won't be the shiny 45-footers with names like Sea Dream II or Fun ... More >>

Roger Scotton Stole Five Years of Shipping Services by Pretending to Be Walmart, Prosecutors Say

​A 41-year-old Boca Raton man was indicted on federal mail-fraud charges Friday after authorities say he got free shipping for his internet businesses by setting up accounts with UPS, DHL, and FedEx and saying he was a representative of businesses such as Target, Walmart, and Apple, according to p ... More >>

Mug-Shot Friday: Fireworks, Kool-Aid, and a Seduction

​Welcome to this week's post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade edition.

No, Rick Scott Was Not in Aspen for a Secret Koch Brothers Retreat This Weekend

​The Daily Kos' David Waldman is tweeting up a storm about major GOP donors (and someone on Rick Perry's "favorite plane") having a secret meeting at the Koch brothers' Aspen compound this weekend, and Gov. Rick Scott has taken his first three-day weekend since last September. After the "maybe he ... More >>

Mug-Shot Friday: Hotel Bandits, A Chimneysweep, and a Trip Down a Chute

​Welcome to this week's post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade edition.

BREAKING: CCA Sues Pembroke Pines in Federal Court

​Well, that was quick. Pembroke Pines commissioners voted last night to rescind a contract to provide fire, EMS, water, and sewer services to Southwest Ranches, in opposition to a planned ICE detention facility being proposed by Corrections Corporation of America.CCA responded immediately with a h ... More >>

PBSO Conducts West Palm Trailer Park Prostitution Sting, Releases Price List

​The Palm Beach Sheriff's Office arrested 17 people Thursday in "an enforcement operation targeting street level prostitution" in the Plantation Mobile Home Park in West Palm Beach, according to a news release.The release also included a dissemination log of the arrests, but the spreadsheet was sp ... More >>

Mug-Shot Friday: The Bed-Head Crew, Florida Pride, and the Hurricane Hairdo

​Welcome to this week's post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade edition ... More >>

Marlins Outfielder Mike Stanton No Longer Mike Stanton

​The man in right field for the Miami Marlins has "Stanton" written on the back of his jersey, but the name on his baseball cards will be changing, according to the Associated Press.The Home Run Artist Formerly Known as Mike Stanton would like it to be known that he wishes to be called Giancarlo S ... More >>

Somebody Please Go On a Date With This Dude

His name is SoFloDude, and he's fed up with dating websites.Whoever this guy is, he's traipsing around Broward and Palm Beach counties, making hip-hop dating videos with lyrics like:​"I'm lookin' for a girl that I can call my Ms. Right (yeah) / 5'5, pretty, slender, and polite (Unh)."

Mug-Shot Friday: Marv, Two Duckfaces, and a Face-Ninja

​Welcome to this week's post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade edition ... More >>

Senate Committee Passes Bill Mandating Schools Teach About 9/11

​A state Senate bill mandating all Florida public schools teach students about the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, passed an education committee this morning.SB 1422 seeks to add "the events surrounding the terrorist attacks occurring on September 11, 2001, and the impact of those ev ... More >>

Racist Video From Santaluces High School Girls, Rumors of "Cracka Beatdowns" Making the Rounds

Update, 3:50 p.m.: We've added a list of the top four racist YouTube rants by stupid young people, if you're interested.Santaluces High School in Lantana has ​some extra police officers today, according to the Palm Beach Post, after two white teenagers from the school posted an online video of the ... More >>

Top Four Racist YouTube Rants by Stupid Young People

​The Palm Beach County School District is all atwitter today over a racist video posted to YouTube by two girls from Santaluces High School. We'll never know what made them think it was a good idea to post a public video on the internet saying, "I don't like black people. They're annoying. They st ... More >>

Mug-Shot Friday: Naptime, a Ruined Luau, and the Truth About Relationships

​Welcome to this week's post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a long-standing franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade editio ... More >>

Broward County Back on America's Most Wanted Tonight

​Set your DVRs, everybody. BroCo's back on America's Most Wanted.Tonight's 9 o'clock show on Lifetime will feature the Broward Sheriff's Office Fugitive Squad, according to a police news release, and will feature the search for 39-year-old Fritz Alisme, accused of multiple counts of sexual battery ... More >>

Sweet Rolls-Royce Limo From Arthur Will Be Up for Sale in Fort Lauderdale

​Full disclosure: I've never seen Arthur, the 1981 Steve Gordon film starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minelli. In fact, Moore's 2002 death occurred only days after I was born. But Wikipedia says the thing won a few Academy Awards, so I'll assume someone out there probably really likes the movie.Anyw ... More >>

Here's Allen West Singing "Pretty Woman" in Its Entirety

Wikimedia Commons"I'm sorry... what?" -- Roy Orbison​He started by saying, "Anyone that records this, I'm going to drop you for pushups."A brave patriot with a camcorder wasn't scared, and now, to put on your iPod next to Mitt Romney's rendition of "America the Beautiful" and President Barack Obam ... More >>

Broward County Encouraging Water Conservation by Treating Residents Like 4-Year-Olds

​It's the dry season, and Broward County is looking to encourage water conservation efforts by offering rebates to residents who buy high-efficiency toilets and other incentives, depending on your city. The goal is to cut water use by 30 million gallons per day -- and officials decided the be ... More >>