Subject: Wayne Huizenga

• Pants Aflame

  January 4, 2007

• Say Bye To Saban

  January 3, 2007

• Activist Jailed In Riviera Beach

  November 16, 2006

• Dave Hyde Strikes Again

  April 10, 2006

• Wayne Huizenga: I Should Have Waited A Year To Stiff Fans

  September 20, 2007

• This Season's Best Christmas Tale

  So maybe pouring a bucket of cold water on the Super Bowl hopes of Miami Dolphin-dom wasn't the most sensitive holiday message. Lest I forget "the reason for the season" I offer this tale of holiday generosity. A rags to riches man from Canton, Ohio, who during the worst of the original Great Depression (we're currently in the midst of a bad sequel) mailed checks anonymously to whoever had a story of financial despair that touched his heart and whose identity took 75 years to come to light.Actua

  December 22, 2008

• Thank You, Mr. Huizenga

  February 23, 2008

• Photojournalist Miller On Trial In Miami

  June 17, 2008

• Broward Links

  October 27, 2008

• Foxaganda

  October 28, 2008

• What the World Needs Now Is Another Blog

  This blog is not a remedy for the financial crisis. It will not defeat anti-American forces in Iraq. It will not slay any Somali pirates.Rather, it will give a loving squeeze to South Florida, extracting its most delicious, satisfying news-trients. The Juice is an ambrosia that, we hope, can provide you a moment's relief from the prospect of losing your job. Or your house. Or (most terrifying of all) the prospect of paying higher capital gains taxes under a Democratic president. Put on your brav

  December 2, 2008

• I-95's Grey Poupon Lanes, Developers Ignore Pesky Economy, Gates Gets Pie in Face

  If you're like me and part of the bourgeoisie, you're also excited about the opening Friday morning of the I-95 pay express lanes. Because now we don't have to travel among the simpleton commuters -- we've got our own lane, H. Wayne Huizenga! For anywhere from a quarter to $6.20, you can zip past the suckers. I count myself among the elite mostly because I've been paying this fee for some time already. An official with the DOT -- I haven't caught his name yet -- collects it from me every mornin

  December 3, 2008

• The Beginnings of the Crist List

  While taking my first read of New Times' rip-roaring new Juice Blog (check it out) I wondered:   Who in Broward County have been graced with invitations for Charlie Crist's December 12 wedding?   My first phone call went to Fort Lauderdale attorney Scott Rothstein, who was at his restaurant, Bova Prime, going over his business plan with partners when we spoke. Rothstein has raised hundreds of G's for Crist and the GOP and counts the guvnuh as one of his best buds.   "

  December 3, 2008

• Bad News For Ex-Sun Sentinel Employees?

  Look, I don't know exactly what this means, but I'm blatantly parroting a Tribune-related post from LA Observed that ran on the other side of the continent. LA-O found this passage in Tribune's bankruptcy filings: How are severance payments affected? All ongoing severance payments, deferred compensation and other payments to former employees have been discontinued and will be the subject of later proceedings before the Court. Please contact call the Tribune Benefits Servic

  December 8, 2008

• Escape the Financial Apocalypse - on Craig's List

  We thought the category "Housing Swap" on Craig's List used to be for people looking to swap spaces over holiday breaks. Thanks to this awful housing market, however, swapping has become a permanent solution for folks who need to move but can't sell. For instance, some dude in Minneapolis wants to move here and send you there.  Another needs a home in Wellington and is willing to trade for 5 acres in Colorado.  An apartment in NYC, however, costs at least two Lantana condos. I couldn'

  December 18, 2008

• Undercurrents

  November 27, 1997

• Cleared for Takeoff

  February 26, 1998

• The Huizenga Hair Club For Litigants

  September 10, 1998

• A Dream Deferred

  October 8, 1998

• The Sheriff's Criminal Association

  October 15, 1998

• Best Hotel/Palm Beach

  March 11, 1999

• Undercurrents

  February 17, 2000

• Best Jazz Artist

  May 11, 2000

• The Two-Arena Circus

  December 13, 2001

• Best Team You Probably Won't See

  May 16, 2002

• Morning Juice: Avoiding IRS is Actually a Crime, Lois Frankel Tells Us to Go to Work

  Prosecutors: Swiss Banker Tried to Screw IRS. Us: Is That Wrong?Federal prosecutors in Fort Lauderdale have charged a Swiss banker with helping 20,000 Americans hide assets from the IRS. A judge signed an order yesterday declaring that former UBS AG executive Raoul Weil is a fugitive from justice. Now if you're like me, you might be asking yourself right now: Isn't hiding assets from the IRS what, in April, we call filing our taxes? That's essentially what his attorney said in this statement:"Mr

  January 15, 2009

• Huizenga Defeats Obama

  In a press release just sent out over the wires, the Miami Dolphins announced that Stephen M. Ross now owns 95 percent of the franchise and Dolphin Stadium. Combined with the 50 percent of the team Ross purchased last February, Ross and Wayne Huizenga officially sealed the deal on an additional 45 percent ownership stake. Huizenga will retain a five percent share of the team and stadium, and 50 percent of the land. Also, he will not be exposed to the cruel Big Government taxes that wi

  January 20, 2009

• Morning Juice: Weathermen Issue Stupid Alert, Priests Face Trial for Something Else

  It's officially the Year of Hope, and South Florida weather forecasters already have something they hoped for: slightly different weather. That's right, we've got something of a cold front, and that means our weathermen have broken out not the exaggerated phrases but the crazy-stupid exaggerated phrases normally used only for hurricanes, a pack of tornadoes, or bad weather patterns caused by The Rapture. This comes from NBC 6 chief meteorologist Paul Deanno:"Last week we had the sweater alert w

  January 21, 2009

• Hospital Giveaway

  July 29, 2004

• Madoff's House Gets TP'd, Young Criminals Learn About Dressing Up for Crime

  Teenagers toilet papered Bernie Madoff's Palm Beach house this weekend and then called the newspaper to take credit. They said the prank was sanctioned by their parents because Madoff had lost their trust funds. Madoff is confined to his Manhattan condo, so he didn't see the TP himself. Nor did he release a statement, but if he did, I'm guessing it would be something like: "Now, this toilet paper you speak of, is this the Egyptian linen my houseboy uses on my derriere?"Now I can't sanction the c

  January 27, 2009

• Huizenga Unzips Finally, Lauderdale's New Mayor Promises Sweet St. Patty's Day

  After selling the Dolphins, H. Wayne zipped it.The Sun-Sentinel's dead tree edition today featured what I believe is a life-size photo of H. Wayne Huizenga, along with a big-ass interview with the tycoon. The article begins with this sentence:Speaking for the first time since selling the Miami Dolphins, billionaire H. Wayne Huizenga on Tuesday reflected on leaving behind nearly two decades of sports ownership that brought South Florida into the major leagues.It was news to me that H. Wayne had g

  February 11, 2009

• Sunday Reading: The Wayne Huizenga Story

  I just happened on this classic written by Steve Almond in 1994 about South Florida's hard-driven, complicated, and sometimes brutal mogul.  Uh, it jumps.   Citizen Wayne - The Unauthorized Biography A college dropout and the product of a broken home, H. Wayne Huizenga rose to become the King Midas of South Florida. His formula for success? A dash of hard work and perseverance, and a lot of hitting below the belt. by Steven AlmondMiami New Times Vol. 9, No. 33 (Decemb

  March 1, 2009

• A Juice Economic Stress Test: How Are You Weathering the Recession?

  South Floridians have been hit as hard as any other region by this economic crisis, reminders of which creep into seemingly every aspect of our daily lives. Assuming that humor really is the last refuge of the damned and because curiosity is recession-proof and Cosmo-style tests are highly addictive, get out your number 2 pencils and count up the numbers of your answers to see where you stand.From where are you reading this blog post?1  My butler is reading it to me. I prefer his British ac

  March 18, 2009

• NFL Team Owners May Hawk Jerseys in Lauderdale

  Corporate sponsorship has worked out really well for soccer uniforms.When NFL team owners meet in Fort Lauderdale in May, they will decide whether the Miami Dolphins will soon become the Wackenhut Security Services Miami Dolphins. Now, yes, I did take this story up a couple of levels. But what the team owners will be discussing is putting logos on practice jerseys. There's little doubt, though, that putting logos on practice jerseys would be the first step to NFL game uniforms being blanketed wi

  March 26, 2009

• A Broward Whodunit

  It's never too late to dish on the locals.

  September 28, 2006

• Ghost of Deals Past

  Spin Till It Flies.

  May 25, 2006

• Letters for December 29, 2005-January 4, 2006

  December 29, 2005

• Fish Bait

  December 8, 2005

• What Is the Meaning of Football?

  With the right combination of pharmaceuticals, Grasshopper, it's the path to happiness

  August 4, 2005

• Hot Rods

  Ladies touch the long poles at a fishing clinic

  March 3, 2005

• Loribiquity

  Swamp Gas Speaks

  August 5, 2004

• Deliver Us

  South Florida's most corrupt hospital district is at it again, compromising health care to reward a crony

  January 29, 2004

• You Move, You Lose

  No matter which way South Florida sports fans look these days, the W's are down and the L's are up

  January 1, 2004

• A Freestanding Fight

  A hospital exec takes on the health care mafia and an ER deal involving an accused thief and a couple of insiders

  December 11, 2003

• A Really Big Shoe(shine)

  Fort Lauderdale's once-booming black business district still has sole

  September 11, 2003

• Ash & Burn

  William Ash calls himself Mister Madam, but in the South Florida gay community, this ex-con's name is mud

  May 31, 2001

• Fest Your Eyes

  The Palm Beach International Film Festival

  April 19, 2001

• How Satan Himself is Helping South Florida Sports

  Save the H. Wayne Huizenga jokes and the easy (but no less true) shots about the new stadium. This is serious. South Florida will win a championship this year, and it is foretold by the number of the beast. It's so simple I can't believe more religious nuts haven't already made the connection. The franchise was awarded in 1991. The first world series was six years later in 1997. The second came in 2003, six years after that. And here we are, 2009. The third sixth year. This section of

  April 20, 2009

• Crist Reaction to New Times Best Pool: I Want to Go to There

  One of the best parts of being Florida governor is access to a jet with which to indulge your most sudden, insatiable geographical impulses.For example, New Times' eagerly anticipated Best Of Broward/Palm Beach issue hit this website on June 11. (Memorize that date -- we'll get back to it.) The Best Pool honors went to H. Wayne Huizenga, and here was our effort to describe its hallowed grounds to our mere mortal readership:It is said that water in the Huizenga pool is collected drip by drip from

  June 22, 2009

• Luxurious Crapper Ponders World Domination, Starting in Lauderdale

  For the H. Wayne Huizenga class, it makes perfect sense. You've already got a private jet for business, so why not get a "rectum water jet" for your most private business? The "bottom drier" comes standard, as the salesman must have mentioned, along with the heated seats and the symphony of pleasant nature sounds that drown out unpleasant natural sounds. Finally, the air purifiers, so that Mr. Huizenga will always enjoy the business advantage that comes with thinking -- knowing -- that his shit

  July 24, 2009